Because I am between jobs, I decided to do our Family Core Values, because a family can operate in many ways, like a company with diverse individuals yet united in the creation of an exceptional family experience. My youngest daughter and I collaborated, each doing the exercises and then combining and testing to ensure a willingness to comply with the final results. My older kids participated also. Here are the results.
We left out many of the obvious core values for a family, and instead concentrated on more general quality-of-life values. As always, we welcome feedback.
- We value and encourage Fun in every aspect of life.
- We value change and adaptability in the complex, adaptive, whole-systems world in which we live.
- We value determination, perseverance, commitment, desire, and passion.
- We value the interdependence of life, the gift of each other, and the connections we share. As a result, we value communication, listening for understanding, compassion, collaboration, empathy, gratitude, and love.
- We value learning, and understand that diversity of both elements and relationships increase understanding and broaden our perception of the possible.
- We value beauty.
- We value design in all its forms, realizing that everything is design. We strive to design with elegance, caution (utilizing the Precautionary Principle whenever possible), and creativity.
- We strive to honor ALL life – to accept and allow without judgment, because we recognize that there is always a bigger picture than the one we perceive at any given moment. We value openness and inclusion. As a result, we value ALL life,(not just human), and strive to collaborate with, learn from, and celebrate all life and the magnificence of human genius and expression.
- We value balance in every aspect of life.
The photos are of me and my daughter at a time when we actively sought the core values of our community through this 5'x6' mind map painting that we took to many community events over the years. At each event, we invited community members to step up and add their own voice to the vision for our community. The painting has hung at many events throughout our county and includes the voices of hundreds. In many ways, our family values constitute a micro version of many of those included in this constantly evolving macro community vision.
- ASK, is there a FUN way to do, think, perceive this? Is there a way to add even more fun?
- ASK, what about this could I change that would bring more fun, passion, excitement, and learning into the experience?
- ASK, how can I adapt more to the needs of my family members and still honor the passion and balance in my own life?
- ASK, why do I persevere? What is it I really seek?
- ASK, how can I bring more beauty into this experience?
- ASK, how can I add more elegance and creativity to this experience while still maintaining caution and guarding against unintended consequences?
- ASK, in what way is my decision/action honoring ALL life? In what way(s) is it not? How can I change that?
- ASK, how does my choice, in this moment, contribute to balance in my life, in this project, in this relationship, etc.?
Shaktari's PERSONAL CORE VALUES (from our earlier assignment)...
My personal values are constantly evolving as I grow and learn, but mostly as my perception broadens and deepens. Here are the top 10 as they stand right now, after doing the Mountains and Valleys exercise and the ME Exercise.
I'm also not certain of any particular priority, as they are all interdependent and weave together into a whole system (just like life). It is, therefore, difficult to single them out and say one is more important than another. To be honest, I don't always think in that linear way anymore. Instead I am learning to play with various ways of thinking, perceiving, creating, and being.
I welcome your feedback!
- Change is constant.
- Those who adapt, thrive.
- Embrace change
2. Creativity and Design
- Passion-driven creativity means you give your best to yourself and the world
- Design - Everything is design
- Use and value multiple feedback loops of varying timeframes
- Design for excellence at all scales and contexts
- Design from macro to micro, pattern to detail
- Stack functions whenever possible
- Design for Resilience
- Empower all participants
- Observe before interacting
- Build soil before planting
- Sustainability applies to my personal life as well.
- Everything has a purpose and value – there is no waste, there are no weeds
- Strive for Reciprocity
4. Collaboration and Communication
- Interdependence - Everything is connected in our complex, adaptable, interdependent, whole-systems world
- LISTEN for understanding
i. Ask questions
ii. Question assumptions
- Trust - Trust my own and the essential self of others through communication.
5. Perception and Gratitude
- Focus of attention and intention determines experience of reality AND possibility
- Every choice is a vote
- Openness creates possibility
- Child-like perception - Strive to open the field of the possible by embracing the awe-filled perception of the child.
- Use multiple points-of-view and multiple perceptual filters to expand understanding.
- A Perceptual Filter of Gratitude increases understand of how fully life supports our ability to not just sustain, but to thrive.
- Everyone and everything contributes and is necessary to understand the whole
- Conflict is a valuable indication that there is more to discuss
- Value the marginal (especially where systems meet - therein lies a hotbed of creativity)
7. Honor All Life
- "Honor" means something beyond respect. It means to accept and allow without judgment, because you recognize there is always a bigger picture than the one you perceive at any given moment. It implies openness - a willingness to expand awareness and embrace new possibilities. Honoring is always relaxed, open, expansive, and inclusive, as a result it tends to yield balance.
- "Honoring All Life" is a perceptual shift from our traditional mechanistic, dualistic ways of perceiving to a whole-systems perception. It asks, "Who are you willing to be in the context of (any) subject,” and then actively explores choices while striving to expand the field of the perceived possible. It asks, "What do you want to create," and then networks those passionate about exploring new options. In short, it collaborates with, learns from, and celebrates all life and the magnificence of human genius and expression.
- Honoring yourself means you are willing to set bottom-line boundaries for both yourself and the world in which you live.
- Honoring life includes tracking our use of molecules to witness nutrient flows (both organic and technical) and protect life/aliveness
- Honoring All Life is an invitation to play full-out in the field of the unknown (at least for most of us), and to notice if our choices bring a deep feeling of joy. Remembering that we are all part of the whole-systems of life, that joy can be an indication that perhaps that particular choice also honors life
- Learn from everyone and everything
- There is ALWAYS more to learn
- “Mistakes” are learning opportunities – cherish them
- Passion-driven learning flows and yields magic
- Cherish each moment and find it’s silly-spot
- If it isn’t fun, something is off
- Everything is ultimately an expression of love
- Thank you for being YOU. Thank you for all I have learned by being with you, interacting with you, having you in my life – whether I experienced it as fun or difficult; positive or negative; challenging to everything I embrace, or as an ecstatic affirmation of what I embrace as real. Everything I experienced from you has been a gift and has provided value and context in my life.
- I love you. Underneath everything that has been said and done between us, is love. I recognize that the core of our beings IS love. I appreciate the richness and magnificence I experience in both you AND me when I allow myself to simply and fully be present with you.
- Be tender. Understand that we are all learning and growing together and be tender with each other and ourselves