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Self centered short story about surreal reality

After a long day of miniature golf, i wake up to the smell of coffee.
As i approach the smell, i see a boquet of roses on my table.
I notice my bathroom window is open and my car looks damaged.
I go outside to see what's happened and my window has been broken.
there's a hammer lying in the driver seat and broken glass everywhere.
i look around to make sure my autographed eagle poster is still in the backseat.
it is. suddenly i am slapped in the face by smell rain but as i look towards the sky all i see is the sun.
i can hear the wind rusting the leaves of my apple tree as i try to remember where i left my key.

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