Sample word selection

Sample word selection - student project

Example Writing:

This began her minds trip down memory lane.  As the white lines on the road flickered into a blur from the corner of her eye, she went back home back to Humble Texas, a small suburb just north of Houston.   It’s true, the last words to her from her father, he didn’t understand her.  In fact most in her family didn’t.  Born the youngest of four and the only girl she never really felt like she fit in.  Though she was the apple of everyone’s eye she struggled with the feeling that her existence was a disappointment to all.  Her mom had wanted a daughter so much after giving birth to three boys never expecting that six years later she would be granted with the miracle baby girl!  Finally pink dresses, bows and frilly things.   Unfortunately for her mother, Montana wasn’t born with the “girly girl gene”.  As soon as she could dress herself it was jeans and t-shirts, scuffed knees and clenched fists. 

 

Rewrite:

This began her minds trip down memory lane.  As the white lines on the road flickered into a blur, her mind wandered back to Humble, Texas.   It’s true, the last words to her from her father, he didn’t understand her.  In fact, most in her family didn’t.  Born the youngest of four and the only girl, she never really felt like she fit in.  Though she was the apple of everyone’s eye, she felt that her existence was a disappointment to all.  Her mom had wanted a daughter so much after giving birth to three boys never expecting that six years later she would be granted with the miracle baby girl!  Finally pink dresses, bows and frilly things.   Unfortunately for her mother, Montana wasn’t born with the “girly-girl gene”.  As soon as she could dress herself it was jeans and t-shirts, scuffed knees and clenched fists.