I generated a lot of ideas, some of which are what author Joyce Maynard would call OBSESSIONS. They are things I am intimately familiar with in ways that could become good stories, either as fictional (novels / short stories) or non-fictional works (memoirs / personal essays).
I think I’d like to narrow in on writing personal essays focused on my experiences with depression, which are varied and stretch back to when I was a teenager.
- in elementary school I had a teacher who bullied me - it stunted my growth in that I’ve had a low self esteem about my ability to do things. It created an imposter syndrome in me if I’m really honest;
- in high school I was bullied a lot from grade 7-10 and it created insecurities with trusting others, made me a loner, even insecure with women, made me feel bad about being what I now know is my demipansexuality;
- in 2007 I attempted suicide twice;
- my ex cheated on me a lot over our seven year relationship and left me for another guy in Europe;
- my inability to finish what I start;
- paralysis of the last year, and 4 suicide attempts;
- my low self worth, self esteem, self loathing, poor body image, just going to counselling in last year; and
- poor eating habits - binge eating junk which made me overweight, with diabetes and high blood pressure.