Professional Procrastinator At Your Service!!!!

PROFILE

A professional procrastinator with an easily distracted mind. An expert in writing first drafts of screenplays only. Stares at blank a page for hours to only fall asleep while thinking of what to write.

EXPERIENCE

Writer, coming of age/comedy/romance 2008-2009

A teenage boy falls in love with the new girl in school, Blink 182 mysteriously arrives at best friends door for a jam session

Depressed Grip/Electric/Cinematographer 2009-2010

Works on a lot films to distract him from writing, excellent at fantasizing about writing and directing

Writer/Director, action/comedy, 2011-2011

Writes and directs an action, comedy movie after the first draft, realizes later it’s only a terrible scene

Director, Underground Hip-Hop Music Video, 2011-2011

Directs music video for an artist met through craigslist, music video is great for artist and peers despite never writing an outline/treatment

Writer/Director, action/romance, 2011-2011

Writes and directs an action, romance movie after the first draft realizes later it’s only a mediocre scene

Director, Youtube sketch comedy group, 2012-2012

Directs youtube videos that are surprisingly for a youtube group, but loses relationship due to wanting money when there wasn’t any money

Director, action/comedy, 2012-2012

Directs internet commercial pleasing client, but deems a failure due to lighting being terrible causing editor to work extra hard to make up for it, never had a shot list ready

Writer/Director, comedy, 2013-2013

Writes and directs a sketch comedy webisode after the first draft, it blows, removes credit

Director, comedy, 2013

Writes and directs comedy movie after the first draft, it sucks, adds romance altering half the story, becomes better than expected, people actually like it, denied from 9/10 festivals, doesn’t place in the one accepted festival

Director, thriller, 2013

Casts inexperienced actor for lead role solely because a hunch says the actor has potential, the actor does, but not for lead roles just yet, the film becomes decent rather than great, denied from every festival that was submitted to

Writer/soon-to-be-Director, drama,comedy,romance, present

Thinks of story before writing script, writes outline that doesn’t make sense, fucks up story, sets deadline, rewrites outline to have better results, writes first draft of screenplay, general direction of story and characters feel right but everything else is wrong, currently writing skillshare resume instead of writing the second draft equivalent to procrastination

skillshare resume - present

Fails at writing skillshare failure resume, deletes too many times due editing along the way, this is the first draft

EDUCATION

School of hard knocks/times/downfalls/pitfalls/depression 

TWO-TIME COLLEGE DROPOUT

SKILLS

Excels in not rewriting stories, Easily distracted, Sleeps most of the day, Professional Procrastinator, Supposed 

REFERENCES

Myself

Every Starting Writer

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