Pretty bad(ass) jokes

1. My teacher said: "Read between the lines."

    1.1 And I answered: "Impossible! All I see is space."

    1.2 I am having a short break in a comma.

2. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

    2.1 Try sleeping under the bed.

    2.2 That's bed.

3. Time flies. Not as good as a butterfly though.

4. What is worse than crying over spilled milk?

     4.1 Drowing in tears and spilled milk. It tastes awful and does not match  with my jacket.

     4.2 Cleaning up the mess afterwards.

5. Laughter is the best medicine.

    5.1 Tell that my doctor. 

    5.2 I am honored to announce that Comedians will have a Doctor Title from now on due to their massive contribution to Medicine.

And doctors, you are fired.

6. Time heals all wounds. Liars! My leg wound hurts like hell.

7. All that glitters isn't gold.

   7.1 Made in China

   7.2 You get what you pay for.

8. You can’t judge a book by its cover. That is why I just read the title and let my imagination run wild. Apparently I did a better job than the author.

9. There’s no time like the present. So, when will I get my gift?

10. You can’t please everyone. All at once.