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Personal wordmark

[English is not my native language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make, be easy on me :) ]

For this 2 week challenge I chose to create a wordmark for myself, a thing I have been struggling with for a long time now. I'm in the process of creating a new portfoliowebsite since my current one is very old and I'm not satisfied anymore. I do have a graphic mark already so I would like for the wordmark to fit with it.

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If anyone is interested about what it represents:

It's the first letter of my last name but also how many people call me since Esther is often abbreviated to 'Es' which is pronounced the same way as the letter 'S'. It is made up of a lot of circles which represents the many things I like to do. Some are bigger because I'm good at them or love them more, some are smaller because they're hobbies or things I don't get to do often. They go from small to big because I'm always learning, working on skills and therefore growing.

If trying to make a wordmark that combines with a symbol is not advisable I would of course rather follow this course without that in mind so please let me know if it's better to go into this with a clean slate.

...INSPIRATION...

Ok, stuff that I like.. Here it got already a bit difficult because there's all kinds of stuff that I like, but a lot of that is stuff that I like but not identify myself with. Therefore I really had to select and think WHY I liked a certain image. For instance, I like this type a lot: 

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... but it doesn't feel like 'me'.

I like thin, sans serif, clean, not too many edges but rather more roundness, bold can be ok aswell as long as it's somehow still light.

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Another thing I really like is some (I don't know how to explain this well) imagery in the text that kind of shows what the word says. Like this:

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Freaking awesomely done!

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The weird thing is that I am myself very chaotic (I like to call my desk and house an organized chaos because it looks very messy but I know exactly where everything is), but I like to see clean, even empty logos. Maybe it's to make up for my chaotic nature, I don't know.

I didn't really look at what others in the same field do because the logo has to reflect me, it's therefore I think irrelevant what others do because this logo, aswell as the logos of other designers, is so personal.

UPDATE -----------------------------------------------------

Okay, so the sketching got a little out of hand and now I've created a monogram, which I'm kind of obsessed with now.

During sketching I didn't really like how just my first name looked so I started experimenting with combining the 'E' and 'S', which are my initials. This way I eventually ended up with a monogram-ish thing which incorporates them both:

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So now I'm trying to get that refined in Illustrator, which I find quite difficult. Though I've come a long way already and it's starting to look nice.

Though my problem with it is that I thing it looks quite.. how do you say this .. harsh in a way, not friendly. I don't entirely feel that it reflexts me.. Though I do like that it reminds me a bit of a puzzle, which is always how I explain my work to people.

This is what I have now:

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The weird thing is that the horizontal bar in the 'e' looks like it's not perfectly horizontal (at least, to me it looks like the right side is higher than the left) though it is.

So as you can see I drifted from the original assignment a bit but I really like working on this so I'm going to continue and maybe start another project some time with an actual wordmark. :)

If anyone has any advice about this one I would gladly hear it. About making it look softer/friendlier or anything else.

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