this is my third attempt... I didn't publish the first two because I totally wasn't satisfied. Still, I'm not satisfied '^_^ and I think I'll try again and again and I'll add. Critiques are welcome!!!! :)
UPDATE: 2nd attempt
Now that I look behind, I think I made some mistake in the very first passage... maybe the shape of the eyes, I don't know? What do you see that I can't see?