Updated Dec, 11th 2012
Holidays from 2011
Super rough draft:
While coming to terms with the upcoming Myan prophesy and all, I decided to review my bucket list. What haven’t I done?! What unfinished business do I have? Who do I need to see?
Immediately I think of a specific person that has driven me to prove myself since I was a child. Always the eternal optimist she championed hard work, a better outlook on the horizon and kindness. No matter what was going on in my life, hers was always worse, but she kept up her chin and with a big ‘ol smile on her face she laughed at despair. I have idolized her so much I wanted to BE her.
I practiced being her every day for entire years of my life. I was once given the opportunity to “be” her and I failed. I was devastated for a while but I have come to terms with the fact that I am Susan, and she is Annie. And I will never be “little orphan Annie”… and that’s OK.
It totally doesn’t bother me as much now that I am older even though you can still tell at this age which women got to be Annie as a kid. You can spot them a mile away.
For a while I was pretty bitter about it. (Does anyone have a cigarette?) I mean who really wants to be Annie anyway? Her parents abandoned her and then died in a car accident. I mean seriously – whose parents drop their kid off at an orphanage to baby-sit for a couple of hours as if this is completely normal. Then due to her parents stupidity and carelessness she ended up being raised by a physically abusive care provider and was taken out of that environment only to be put in a mentally abusive foster care situation. Considering her only sounding board is a tranny dog (a boy named Sandy?) while she was running from the cops, she had a pretty good moral compass. No Lindsay or Britney episodes here. Growing up in the depression had to have been tough – so tough that a con artist and his hooker girlfriend were scheming to use her as a quick payoff. And, most evidently – she had no eyes and REALLY bad hair. I mean Christ –now that I think about it, what was wrong with me that this person was my idol?!
STILL – no matter what, she always had a smile on her face! Her mantra: No matter what life throws you, there is always tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow…. You know what tomorrow made me? OLD! Yep, too old to be Annie. I missed it. I can never go back. And, that manipulative bitch is still sucking in another generation with the virtues of “tomorrow.”
Crossing that one off the list.
Maria Von Trapp...