My Whole Life is a Full Moon

Holidays from 2011

Date Stores

Super rough draft:


While coming to terms with the upcoming Myan prophesy and all, I decided to review my bucket list.  What haven’t I done?!  What unfinished business do I have? Who do I need to see? 

Immediately I think of a specific person that has driven me to prove myself since I was a child.  Always the eternal optimist she championed hard work, a better outlook on the horizon and kindness.  No matter what was going on in my life, hers was always worse, but she kept up her chin and with a big ‘ol smile on her face she laughed at despair.  I have idolized her so much I wanted to BE her.


I practiced being her every day for entire years of my life.  I was once given the opportunity to “be” her and I failed.  I was devastated for a while but I have come to terms with the fact that I am Susan, and she is Annie.  And I will never be “little orphan Annie”… and that’s OK.

It totally doesn’t bother me as much now that I am older even though you can still tell at this age which women got to be Annie as a kid. You can spot them a mile away.

For a while I was pretty bitter about it.  (Does anyone have a cigarette?)  I mean who really wants to be Annie anyway?  Her parents abandoned her and then died in a car accident.  I mean seriously – whose parents drop their kid off at an orphanage to baby-sit for a couple of hours as if this is completely normal.  Then due to her parents stupidity and carelessness she ended up being raised by a physically abusive care provider and was taken out of that environment only to be put in a mentally abusive foster care situation.  Considering her only sounding board is a tranny dog (a boy named Sandy?) while she was running from the cops, she had a pretty good moral compass.  No Lindsay or Britney episodes here.  Growing up in the depression had to have been tough – so tough that a con artist and his hooker girlfriend were scheming to use her as a quick payoff.  And, most evidently – she had no eyes and REALLY bad hair.  I mean Christ –now that I think about it, what was wrong with me that this person was my idol?!

STILL – no matter what, she always had a smile on her face!  Her mantra: No matter what life throws you, there is always tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow…. You know what tomorrow made me?  OLD!  Yep, too old to be Annie.  I missed it.  I can never go back.  And, that manipulative bitch is still sucking in another generation with the virtues of “tomorrow.”

Crossing that one off the list.

So –

Maria Von Trapp...


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