My Jokes. I hope they're at least something to chuckle over.


1. People say 'you can't judge a book by its cover.' Oh, you can. You just have to read the title if it's a non-fiction book.

2. Read between the lines . . . you'll really mess up your shot at an acting career.

3. All that glitters isn't gold. For instance, if you throw glitter on a book it's not gold, it's just a book covered with glitter. 

4. Time heals all wounds. Tell that to the cooked turkey I just cut up.

5. Laughter is the best medicine. If you're mute, you can't laugh.

6. Don't cry over spilled milk. Cry over spilled coffee. 

7. Time flies. Ever since I heard that, I've been looking at my alarm clock wondering when it'll sprout wings and jump out my window. 

8. There's no time like the present. I hope to remember that in the past. 

9. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. If your bed is pushed up against a wall, that means the side you have to get out on is always the wrong side of the bed . . . my morning's ruined.

10. You can't please everyone, but you could please your cat. 

Shota Aizawa (let me sleep)
Why is everyone around me so noisy?