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Lessons Learned in Avoiding Success

Lessons Learned in Avoiding Success

1. Beating Myself Up  - When faced with a problem or issue, I treat myself like I'm Mike Tyson's punching bag.  I end up beating myself up because I already feel defeated and I find comorot in feeling worse off.  This way the faiure does not seem as bad as it is, but the focus is taken away from the what I failed at. It is certainly an avoidance tactic, that I still practice, to this day.   I have not mastered at being brave or fearless, to get over this, but slowly but surely, I have been chiping away at focusing on the problem at hand to learn and then succeed.

2.  Asking for the Wrong Kind of Help -  Would you go to an orthodonist to treat a hammer toe? If you answered no, you know that the praticle thing to do, is contact a podiatrist and sovled the problem. Going to the wrong person to ask for advice, was another avoidance tactict I practiced. I would rather go to someone who knew nothing about a situation or the problem to vent.  I perpetuated the venting, because I didn't want to hear what the resolution would be.   Often times, I knew the answer, but never wanted to admit to myself, I had the right answer.

3.   Staying Too Long "a.k.a. should I stay or should I go now" -  I often stayed in realtionships too long or at jobs to long, becaue I thought, that I would  be able to make it work.  I sacrificed my own happines, for something that I thought would make me happy and prosperous.  With time things got better, right....wrong.   I should have trusted my instincts and not beat myself up.  Moved on not sufficate a situation.  Give myself breathing room and stop fearing the unknown to try something new.

4.  Not Being Patient -  It is quite hard in today's fast paced culture to wait for something.  We either need it now or yesterday. If I was realistic about how much time is needed to perculate to create or complete something I would be able to, I would not look at the big picure and feel it collapse on me.   I could then break it down and figure a solution and enjoy the journey to solve the problem.  Because I was not patient, I perpetuated the 3 previous points, and couldn't get over my failures.

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