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LANA's world

aa378816

Blurb: It's really a short short story, so all that i will say about it is that It's about the joy of life.

Target Audience: over 25 years old.

Hey! Hope that you like the short story, and if you could send feedback, it would help a lot. This story is not edited, so I am sorry about the mistakes it must have, and I would appreciate if you wouldn't mind to point them out. Thanks for reading in advance. – evolutionaryR –

I am walking in the catwalk, rocking the red Yves Saint Laurent dress. I am walking proudly of my body. The public is ogling me with Rabbit’s eyes, making me Jessica. The flashes of the cameras are a little annoying, but noting I can’t handle. On top of the sound of the flashes going off, the sound of my name echoes in the background, but instead of dyeing down, it is increasing, making me feel dizzy. It pulls me to reality.

I am no longer walking in the catwalk, or wearing a red Yves Saint Laurent dress. I am at the hospital, and besides me is my mother. It seems she noticed that I was no longer present with her at the moment. So she mumbles something about going to the cafeteria, leaving me alone with the sounds of the machines. I can hear Jennifer and Kate down the hall, the almost Siamese nurses. So I close my eyes, and pretend I am asleep. They always have some juicy story going on, but obviously not when I am awake. Not that I would tell somebody, but ok. I get it.

“So, he says to me: ‘Do you want to join us?’ The fucker actually said that, can you believe it?” Kate said.

“What an asshole! What did you said to Bob?”

Bob is Kate’s boyfriend.

“What do you think? Of course not! Who do you think I am?”

Jennifer laughs and says:

“I am asking exactly because I know who you are. So, noting really happened?”

“Well, there was break up sex this morning…”

“You whore!” Jennifer laughs again, and Kate pretends to be offended.

“What, we have been together for, like, 3 months?”

“What does that change the situation? You caught him cheating in your own bed, and the fucker is not even sorry?”

What did I tell you? They always have juicy stories.

“It’s not like we were married or anything… Besides, he is gorgeous!”

“With that I have to agree…”

Doesn’t mean he has to treat you like you have to thank him to be with you, but what do I know?

Jennifer changes the course of the conversation with:

“Uh, look at those nails!”

“Gross!”

My feet must have been out of the sheets, and momma must have forgotten to take care of it. It is humiliating both ideas: that I have to rely so much on my mother and that in the first crisis of the day I again want her help.

I get out of the bed. They look surprised at me. So I say:

“Kate, you are really a whore, and Jennifer you are an awful person.”

Then I slap Jennifer. Kate is going to hit me but I push her arm away and knee her in the stomach.

That of course didn’t happen. I didn’t get up, or said what I think. That is not me. That never was me. That and the fact I have locked-in syndrome. Locked-in syndrome is an illness that the person is with no ability of motion in the entire body, except for the eyes. 

The noise from the hallway dies down, meaning one thing: Dr. Mark Costanza is approaching. It’s not like he is some barbaric person that everybody is afraid of him, it is quite the opposite: He is really handsome and have a charming personality, earning everybody respect.

So I open my eyes to be able to see even the glimpse of Dr. Constanza. He usually comes by every two days and talks to me during lunch or dinner time, so I thought he was only passing by. Instead he enters the room and says:

“Oh, Miss Collins, you are awake! Good. I came here to say that I will not be able to lunch with you.” Then he looks to the Siamese nurse’s dumb faces and says: “Is everything ok?”

I blink once to say eyes. Relieved, the ‘twins’ comply. “Good. I will be going now.” He walks out of my room.

They look at each other, and Jennifer says: “We got to get going now to see other patients. Have a nice day!”

At the hallway, Kate asks Jennifer:

”Do you think she heard?”

The answer I can’t hear, but I know for sure for the next couple of months they won’t be gossiping in front of me.

 It is been seven months that I am in this state. My ex-boyfriend Charles was drunk and crashed us into a truck. He didn’t survive, and I, well, you know…

 Mother comes into the room, looks at my uncovered feet, and says:

“Oh, Good Lord! Look at your nails! I am sorry honey, I will fix it.”

She takes out a pouch from her purse and says:

“What color do you want today? I will show you the nail polishers I brought.”

Then she starts lifting the nail polishers one by one, and I blinking twice for no, and finally blinking once to the black polisher she had on her hand.

“What are you, an emo?” mother says, and chooses a beige one. It was our routine. She never likes the ones I pick, which is always black, and chooses one she felt like it.

 

The conversations of the hallway die down. Dr. Costanza enters my room and put an iPod on the speakers. And says: Do you want to dance?”

“What are you, Crazy?” I say. I say? What..? How…? “Dr. Costanza?”

“Call me Mark. Come.” He extends his hand to me, with his palm upwards.

I put my hand on his. He pulls me out of the bed and we start dancing. As he spins me, I see up his shoulder Jennifer and Kate with scowled faces.

“Lana!” Dr. Costanza says. He is in a stool near my bed with a soup. When he sees he has my full attention, he says ‘hi’, and smiles, a genuine bright smile. Then he talks about his son, making his expression enlighten.   

 

 The next day, Dr. Costanza, appears at dinner time with a salad for himself.

“Hey, Lana! Are you ok today?”

I blink yes.

“Good, good… So, today I brought a special guest that I want you to meet. Come out Kevin.”

A little shy boy comes from behind the door.

“So, this is Kevin, my son. Kevin this is Lana. Say Hi!”

The little boy shakes his hands.

“Kevin here is on the 2nd grade. He is an excellent student.”

“Daad!”

“Don’t be shy, Kevin. It is true.”

An awkward silence fells upon us.

“Dad, what is wrong with her?” Kevin asks in a shushed sound.

 “She had an accident. She can only speak with her eyes”.

“How is that possible?”

“She can blink her eyes: once for eyes and twice for no. You can ask her anything, as long as it is a yes or no question. Go on, ask her something.”

“So, do you wanna see a drawing I made at school?”

I blink once.

He shows me a colorful drawing. It is a typical drawing of a house with him, his mom and dad.

“Do you like it?” Kevin asks.

Yes. He smiles, making appear little wrinkles on his cheeks.

“Am I interrupting something?” A woman says at the door of my room. Kevin jumps out of his father lap, to go to show his drawing to his mother. She says it is wonderful and hugs Kevin. Dr. Costanza also gets up and goes to the woman, and kisses her. Seeing such happiness makes me cry, because I realize that I would never achieve that happiness. I would never feel the kiss of a lover anymore. I would never be able to hug my child. For some kind of miracle, my baby is still growing inside my belly. Maybe I have to thank Charles for protecting our child, from wherever he is right now.

 Dr. Costanza notices my state and says I need to rest, and so they leave me.

 

One month later, my mother is in my room when Dr. Costanza says it is time. So they lead me to the operation room. Since I don’t have any sensation on my body, I don’t need anesthesia. I stay awake the whole procedure, with the bright light on my eyes. One hour later, my mother puts my baby in my view. It is a girl. She is so cute. I cry becauseI would never be able to hold her, to educate her instead of being a mire spectator, but I am still happy to be alive and just be able to see her, besides of the price I paid.

 

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