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Kimlee Davis

Artist, Musician, Poet

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Kimlee's Manifesto! ^_^!

Hi!

This is the first class I've ever taken on this site and I knew it wouldn't let me down. :D

It feels strange to reveal my process to others in this way, but I feel like I want to share it.

Maybe I can add some contrast to the project gallery.

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Being messy and rolling with it really helped me break out of my comfort zone.

I always try to be such a perfectionist in everything that I do.

I have begun to hate it, because rather than making messy art, I will overthink it all and make nothing instead. I've been pretty blocked lately and it's eating away at my motivation.

That's why I joined Skillshare. And with this first class, I feel like I've found exactly what my soul has been looking for.

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I used to be very outgoing. Then, I had my daughter, Eeo, and I had to step back and observe my life and reevaluate existence. As I said, I try to be perfect and being a mommy is not something that I want to take lightly. But creating this list of things that I care about actually made me realize that I might care TOO MUCH about EVERYTHING! Haha! I mean, I feel like a good person and I'm glad to see on paper what's inside, but it made me feel like I am too strict with myself. I feel overencumbered. Burdened.

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In this exercise, I never quite felt like I was doing it right. I fluctuated from thinking that it was too easy to thinking that I should have used a black marker or pen. My dark blue marker died and I worried that I was doing it wrong when I finished with a light blue marker. So I tried wearing out the dark blue again. Then, I regretted using such a thin piece of lined paper because it started to crumble up from being overdone and saturated. As with some of my work recently, I go back and forth in the same way. I feel like it's too easy, a piece of cake. But then, I don't enjoy the process going through my mind because I feel like I'm battling myself.

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This one felt really good.

I thought of the entire sheet of paper as my worries. Worries about perfection that keep me from DOING, worries about figuring life out, worries about getting necessary tasks done, worries about achieving levels of greatness that I see so far off in the distance but never feel close to. I tore off big chunks and broke them down. It made me realize that that is how I get things accomplished. I almost bite off more than I can chew and tear that into little pieces before moving onto the next bite. It seems like I'm not getting anywhere until I look around and everything's changed and I'm on another level of existing and I feel like I've grown a lot. Seeing it this way made me feel a calm that I've been needing for a while. Some relief and confidence in myself that I can get to where I want to be and achieve as long as I keep tearing away at the process.

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Something about this step made me want to humiliate the money.

Like, take it down a notch and make me feel more powerful than the so beloved currency that rules our world. I just felt like I was throwing some mini-grafitti all over it. I even bordered it with song lyrics from Moulin Rouge because, why not? ;) I felt a real need to scribble out most of the words because they felt like rules that someone else wrote for me to swallow. I denied them.

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For something personal, I chose this patch that was awarded to me in Chorus while I was in High School. I've had it for almost fourteen years now. I got it for being in Honor Chorus and it really meant and means a lot to me. No one ever really came to see my shows and my family forgot about them most of the time. But in my heart, I was doing my best and I felt so great about all of the steps I took towards music and singing. Even if I felt alone in the process. It reminds me to keep going and achieve the height of my dreams regardless of how many people are there or even aware of my accomplishments. I know what's in my heart and that's all that matters.

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My project may look a bit haphazard and ugly, but the feelings that I got from this process were rewarding enough. I stayed up late last night working on it and had the most incredible dream because of it. I really think that a lot of things were unlocked in my unconscious that were blocking me. The videos felt very personal and real to me. 

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Thank you so much, Adam J.K.!

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