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Kelsey Kline's Project

Brainstorming:

Ten List: Colors

  1. Purple
  2. Blue
  3. Magenta 
  4. Red
  5. Grey
  6. Black 
  7. White 
  8. Yellow
  9. Peach
  10. Orange

Yellow Story:

Katelyn thought of herself as a decent decision maker. She didn't snort cocaine in the girls' locker room or plaster naked pictures of herself on the Internet, but against all of her better judgement, she had followed Jacob into the practice room. What the hell could they have to talk about? Probably not AP US history. Now Joe was tuning his guitar, his greasy blonde hair hanging in his red-rimmed eyes. 

"I, uh, I wrote something for you," Joe said. "I hope you like it."

I'm allegic to music, Katelyn thought. 

"Wrote what?" Katelyn said. 

"Just listen," Joe said. He strummed the opening chords of Coldplay's "Yellow," and Katelyn felt her eye begin to twitch. 

"You didn't write this. That guy who is married to Gwyenth Paltrow did."

Joe stopped mid-chord. "Okay, you caught me. But can you let me know how it sounds? You have such a good ear." 

Katelyn nodded, but soon she was praying to every god she could think of for a merciful release. Joe's voice sounded like a cat being baptized, and his guitar might have been a garbage compactor in a former life. 

After what felt like an eternity, the song ended. Was there a tactful way to tell someone to take up another hobby, preferably a silent one? Maybe painting or miming or, better yet, sitting very quietly in a corner. 

"I lied earlier," Joe said. "I didn't want you to tell me how the song sounded. The truth is that I learned the song, because I'm in love with you, and I thought this was the most beautiful way to tell you."

"Oh Joe," Katelyn said. "Haven't you heard? I'm dating Mary." 

Ten List: Date Places

  1. Movie
  2. Mexican restaurant
  3. zoo
  4. park
  5. East River
  6. coffee shop
  7. diner 
  8. Brooklyn flea market
  9. concert
  10. bar

Zoo Date Story

Zooey should have clarified with Mike whether he was asking her out or whether he just wanted to complete the biology assignment together. She was super bad at picking up signals, and she wasn't even 100% sure she liked him. She definitely liked the way that his butt looked in his pants, but he also ruined the effect by opening his mouth. 

"SO LIONS ARE MY FAVORITE ANIMALS, BECAUSE I LIKED THE CIRCUS WHEN I WAS A KID. I WISH WE COULD SEE SOME," Mike said. 

"I think you've scared them off. Maybe you can lower your voice a little," Zooey suggested. 

"SORRY. I'M JUST SO EXCITED. IS THIS ANY BETTER?" 

Zooey nodded weakly. All of the sudden, the speaker near them began to crackle. 

"Please excuse the interuption, zoo patrons. We believe one of our black bears has escaped. Please do not panic, and make your way to the visitor center. We repeat, please do not panic. Thank you."

"OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO CRAZY. HOW COULD THEY LET A BEAR ESCAPE? THAT IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE. HEY, DO YOU WANT A BITE OF MY HAMBURGER? I DON'T KNOW WHY I ORDERED IT RARE. I USUALLY LIKE MY MEAT A LITTLE LESS BLOODY,"

Zooey could see the black bear waddling towards them.

"Mike, let's get to the visitor center, " she hissed. "I think it's this way. " 

"NO, YOU'RE DEFINITELY WRONG. THE VISITOR CENTER IS THIS WAY." Mike gestured behind him, hamburger still in his hand.

The bear stood on its hind legs and began sniffing. 

"No, no, no, it's definitely this way, and we better hurry. The bear is right behind you."

"NO WAY. DID YOU SAY THE BEAR IS BEHIND ME? I DON'T BELIEVE--"

Unfortunately Mike didn't get to finish his accusation, because the bear ate him. 

Even though she knew that she should run, Zooey stood transfixed, watching the bear tear into Mike's peach-colored flesh. She admired the way the bear's impressive muscles shifted under his thick black coat, the aggressive grunts and growls that escaped from his bloodied mouth, the quick and decisive movements. 

Suddenly the bear looked at Zooey, and they locked eyes. Now Zoeey melted at the vulnerability, the softness, the humanity she saw in the chocolate brown irisis. This was what love at first sight felt like. Everything crystallized, and she knew that this vicious, wild creature was her soulmate. 

"You wouldn't happen to be Jewish, would you?" Zooey asked. "I mean, I don't care, but my mother does." 

Cluster Story: 

Since Jonathan was a little kid, he had hated bananas. If his mom cut a banana up and put it in his cereal, he fished the pieces out and fed them to the cat. (They didn't have a dog.) His grandma made neighborhood renown banana bread, but Jonathan always wrapped the banana bread in two layers of tin foil and burried the entire loaf at the bottom of the garbage can. 

It wasn't the taste he hated. In fact, Jonathan never had actually eaten a banana. But whenever he touched a banana, his arm throbbed, and his blood felt hot. 

When Jonathan got to high school, he became a huge track star. Nobody within three counties could beat his 800 meter record. (In fact, his 800 time beat some of the school's sprint records, something that confused and delighted his coaches.) 

After a particularly ardous meet (he ran six events--unheard of!), he got a cramp in his leg, and his coach forced him to eat a banana. 

"You need the potassium, son," his coach said. "Just eat it."

Jonathan unpeeled the banana, ignoring the tingling that started in his hand and spread across his shoulders, down his back, through his legs. He took his first bite of a banana, and suddenly his arm doubled in size and muscle size. He swallowed, and his chest expanded, ripping his t-shirt into shreds. 

"Holy shit, Jon, you're hulking out," Jon's friend exclaimed. 

"Stop eating that banana!" cried his mother. "I need to get you home right now."

"Nah, Ma, this is pretty cool," Jon said. "Yo, get me another banana. I want to see how big I can get."

(To make a long story short, Jonathan ate like twenty bananas and actually ended up exploding. If he had listened to his mother, maybe he could have been a superhero and used his powers for good. But nope--he decided to eat a lot of bananas instead.) 

Character Exercises:

Ten people I Know:

1. Lindsey

2. Kate

3. Mike Z. 

4. Bibi

5. Lauren

6. Mom

7. Marcelle

8. Benny

9. Anissa

10. Chris Bernard

 

Mike Z.: loud voice with no intonation or inflection, sounds like he’s always yelling, raspy; middle-aged man with goatee, brown hair; wears jeans and NY sports wear (Mets, Jets); math teacher; his voice overpowers everything else about him

 

Kate:  normal feminine voice, laughs a lot, big hipster glasses, a little chubby, wears a lot of scarves, has an Adventure Time case for her phone, about 5’2”; big guffaw laugh; the glasses

 

Chris Bernard: light-skinned black woman; wears lots of red lipstick, has a soothing voice, uses lots of terms of endearment (like “honey”, “baby” etc), very expressive face (big smiles, very cold angry face), graying roots; very loud “HA” laugh; wears very colorful clothing and a clip-on tie ; the lipstick

 

Lauren: Asian woman with glasses; wears lots of blue and video game t-shirts, say “D’Oh” a lot; has a very giggly laugh; her clothing

 

Benny: strong Eastern European accent; grey hair; face like an overgrown baby; cold unfeeling eyes; beer belly; the absolute worst person in the world; the accent

Dude: So as you see here, if you click on this button, it will sign into your email
Redhair: Uh-huh
Dude: Email is very important here at Dunderson and Smith. We correspond via email for almost everything.
Redhair: Okay….
Dude: Now I will show you how to open an email, then I will show you how to draft and send an email. Let me know if I'm going too fast.
Redhair: Um, I don't mean to be rude, but I worked in the IT department at my last job.
Dude: I don't understand.
Redhair: I know how to send a fucking email.

Environment Exercise:

Dude:  Are you using this outlet?

The Redhead glances down to the outlet where her computer charged is plugged in.

Redhead:  No.

Dude: Really?

Redhead: No, dude, I’m using the charger. The one that’s connected to my laptop.

The dude leans over the woman to look at the computer screen. The woman is obviously annoyed.

Redhead: Can I help you?

Dude: Actually, would you mind unplugging the charger and letting me charge my phone?

Redhead: Oh no, I wouldn’t mind at all. It’s not like my computer only have 10% battery, and I’m just dicking around, not working on a major paper or anything.

Dude: Really?

Redhead: No, I’m very busy, and I need this outlet.

Dude: C’mon, I only have 60% of the battery left.

Redhead: You’ll be fine.

Dude stomps his foot. The other people in the coffee shop look up from their laptops and iPads.

Dude: Why are you being so selfish? Why wouldn’t you give me what I wannnnttt?

Redhead: Are you throwing a temper tantrum? Like a child?

Dude throws himself on the floor and bangs his feet and fists.

Dude: I just wannnnttt to charge my phone!!!!!!!

Redhead puts her headphones in.

Redhead: This is why the man’s place is in the home.

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