Ran out of time, but here's the small things I fixed. It's not where I want it to be, but good enough for now unfortunately.
I put everything to illustrator, and am still working on the widths a bit and smoothing everything out, but here's the rough...
So I redrew it without the 2.44mm pen and used the prisma color pens I'm more used to. I am currently in the process of tracing it in illustrator, but here's what I'm basing it on...
Here's my phrase in honor of the Beatles. It's obviously still rough and touched up a tad in photoshop, but I wanted it to convey a dream-like feeling overall. I'm still trying to get used to the 2.4mm ink pen.
Any thoughts or comments are more than welcome! Thanks everyone — excited to be on here! :)