Rocko Luciano

Creative Director

43

3

Haunted (Treatment) - Feedback Please!

• (1/4/2015) UPDATE:

I had to put this class on the back burner 6 months ago but I'M BACK!

I'm a choreographer and I recently produced a dance piece about a haunted house. I became so passionately invested in the story that I'd like to interpret the piece into a short film. Here's photos of my marketing from the workshop for reference:

• TREATMENT (DRAFT 1) :

NOTE: This short is a little different from most of the other projects in the class. The film contains no dialogue and the actors will perform choreography. I've noted when the performances will occur to better explain the rhythm of the film. 

Sarah, I really hope that there is enough substance to qualify this story for the assignment. Let me know if I've gone off the rails! I would love your insight.

HAUNTED

By Rocko Luciano

It's 1962. TALIA(23F) and her husband are a picture perfect couple. They have recently moved into their charming, wallpapered and potentially haunted home. For tonight's cocktail party they've invited their usual friends and one extraordinary clairvoyant, DANYA DIVINER. The seance begins and the once cynical guests are now quite nervous. Danya falls into a trance and several apparitions join the party and interact with the guests in a dream like world. [ Choreography Performance: Ellie Goulding ]

Flashback to 1692. 20 yards from Talia's house there is a young woman being dragged through the woods. A mysterious, hooded character binds the captive girl to an edifice made of branches and bone. A congregation joins and the ritual unfolds. Her innocent soul is their sacrifice.  [ Choreography Performance: Kelela ]

Back to present day (1960s). Later in the evening, the seance comes to a close. The perfect couple and their guests have all died. Their bodies are stiff as stone and terror is frozen on their faces. Another paranormal guest joins the party. She slowly descends the spiral staircase. She is the innocent girl that was sacrificed in the woods. [ Choreography Performance: Beyoncé ]

Back to 1692. The hooded cult leader reveals herself to be the clairvoyant from the seance. Danya Diviner is one of many disguises of a malevolent being that leaves a trail of death throughout time.

Talia reached out to a clairvoyant after hearing bumps in the night. Perhaps those were warnings from the other side of the impending horror.

SCREENPLAY (DRAFT 1):

So this is somewhere between an spec script and a shooting script. There's a great chance that my dance company will help produce the film. I hope the camera movements don't detract from the reading experience. Also, it's not 10 pages as I do not have any dialogue. I hope that this is acceptable! 

Feels like I've given birth. I'd love some feedback. Feel free to point out formatting faux pas. This is my very first screen play.

 ***** Dropbox File ******

----------------------------------------

(6/22/2014) 3 Pitches: 

1. J + R

A teenage playwright, Julian, finds himself attempting to escape reality through his writing. As his boyfriend lays unconscious after a vicious hate crime, Julian sits bedside to read aloud his play “J + R”- the fantastic, fairytale romance he can only dream to have. After dozens of energy drinks and countless revisions, Julian comes to terms with harsh realities and finds self-acceptance while learning to cope with societal intolerance and his father’s rejection. 

2. MASTER AT NONE

10 year old Alex has been scrambling to find his passion since the first grade, he should know by now shouldn’t he? His best friend Molly knows! A PDF on her iPad mini contains her life mapped out into her 30s! It certainly doesn’t help that his older brother is a musical prodigy and that both his parents are professors at Stanford and TED Talk regulars. As Alex clumsily commits to several careers, from butcher to life coach to magazine editor, he discovers what he’s truly meant to be.

 

3. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN LIE (still working out the title lol)

If Kalley had to sum herself up in one word, it would be “forgettable.” All throughout grade school, her dance coach never gave her a solo. In fact, Coach Andersen always called her Kelsey! In every high school musical she was always casted in the chorus and not once as the lead. This year, it’s her fourth time auditioning for America’s largest, nationally televised dance competition. Down on her luck, she devises a plan to secure her spot - a sensational and very fictional backstory. While taking on an unbelievably captivating persona, she works hard to keep her place in the competition and even harder to keep her facts straight. 

Comments

Please sign in or sign up to comment.