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Haldi & Santek

March 29 - Darshna weds Pretesh!

Moving onto the next set of cards. Needs some fine tuning. Not sure what to do with the swash on the h in "Darshna". Any thoughts/critiques are much appreciated!

March 21 update - vector!

Altered the angle of the S slightly on the left image. Which one works better?

I'm pretty new to lettering but I'm really loving it and want to learn as much as possible from everyone here. I really appreciate detailed critiques so please feel free to give me feedback. 

My friend has asked me to do her sister's wedding invitation suite. It's an Indian wedding so it involves several different cards as there are a lot of events during the indian wedding week. Each event will have its own card with the name of the event hand lettered on the front side and the details on the back side.

The first one I'm working on is "Haldi & Santek." It has to be kept quite simpe so minimal flourishes and swashes. 

Sketch 1

My concerns:

The  foot of the "H" and "k". I'm not really sure what to do with them, they look a bit strange to me at the moment.

The "S" is not following the slant of everything else but I think without the curve it doesn't look like an "s".

The balance of the overall piece. It's swash heavy on the left and not so on the right. 

Lastly, I feel like it's looking pretty boring! Not much personality in it. 

Sketch 2

My concerns:

Not sure if the "S" looks like an s.

I don't know what to do with the ampersand, I've sketched a couple of different ones. Not sure if it's looking too much like an "E".

Again, not sure about the balance of the overall piece and whether or not it's a bit boring. 

Help please! And thank you!

March 19 - update

Just for funzies and to see if I could do it - flourishes

The first one is a bit crazy!

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