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Joaquim Gonsalves

Motorcyclist. Dreamer. Writer. Actor

10

8

HAZE & other Stories

PITCH: HAZE

A reserved young adult tries to deal with his life’s problems through various dreams realizing there is more to them than what meets the rapid eye. Reality begins to blur for Leo when he starts to act out his dreams.

TREATMENT:

LIONEL 'LEO' BARBOZA (28M) goes through each day sleeping late. Spending his day on vices along with a few of his more constructive hobbies, he realises that his addictions are slowly overpowering his true desires. He loves watching intelligent sci-fi films and like most single guys his age he does have a few girls that he fantasizes about. Some of whom he has more than a physical lust for. Wasting his life away with incessant and hours long masturbation during the day bordering on the illegal, he moves from one hobby to the other, the least constructive ones usually getting the most screen time and subsequently creating new addictions. His dysfunctional relationship with his father aggravates him on most days. And the fact that most people of his age are either married or with kids or on the road to those same goals while he is at a diametric opposite tend to eat him away despite the fact that he couldn’t care less about such ubiquitous life-goals. He gives in to ecstasy and speed on some of the nights spending the last of his savings from his previous job.  But at the end of each day he does acknowledge the fact that his life is going nowhere.

The next day he finds himself amidst a number of life threatening situations which prove to be the repercussions of his actions.

SO HERE'S THE UPDATE WITH THE ENTIRE SCRIPT.

I used Celtx based on Sarah's suggestion. I did not edit the script and hopefully that's a call for some eye opening critique. Looking forward to your helpful comments. Thanks again.

HERE'S  THE LINK TO THE SCRIPT ALONG WITH THE PITCH & TREATMENT:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/yiqanfotnn1y1q7/HAZE.pdf

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Since this is the appropriate section to post my ideas below are the updated others.

Now I know the class states that we work only on one pitch and I've learnt my lesson(or maybe I am yet to learn some more) that working on 2 characters for 2 different scripts can be asking for trouble. Precisely the premise of the story on 'Quarter -Life Crisis' by the way.

Having put in the effort I'd highly appreciate you guys giving feedback for them here. :)

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Pitch 2 has been in the works for more than a year now and I kinda neglected it when other priorities came my way. But its more of a mini-feature than a 10 minute short. Maybe later I can come up with a short teaser-script invloving some of its scenes. The script has been ready for months now but it needs some plot holes remedied and a revised dialogue.

PITCH 2:  BOTTLED UP

Three friends Gavin, Preeti & Jared move in together under false pretenses so as to mutually help their personal committments. Over time the lies begin to overwhelm them thus straining their friendship. Gavin's girlfriend Rachel mysteriously dies amongst all this adding fuel to the fire as the friends begin to question each other's motives. Matters go south when they find out the truth.

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Pitch 3 is what I'm currently working on with my short film crew. It may have a few similarities with the story for 'HAZE' but is meant to answer the concerns of someone facing an 'Existential/Quarter-Life' crisis. We are actually behind schedule on this one and I'd really like some help here. Goal of this story is to have at least one viewer to find his/her answer on how to come up with a solution and if there's no solution in sight then how does one deal with it in life without losing the happiness of every moment of their journey.

PITCH 3: QUARTER - LIFE CRISIS(working title)

Jack is an ambitious kid with multiple goals in life. However, he is notorious for being a master of none. On one occasion the quest for his perceived purpose in life while trying to balance social commitments brings forth some difficult decisions. He is nearing the three decade mark soon. Does he compromise for a so called socially stable life and find yet another purpose or does he go ahead and pay the price for an ultimate goal?

TREATMENT:

JACK KNOWS (29M) is a single guy based in Mumbai, India. He considers himself a 'nobody' because he hasn't fulfilled any of his dreams. Subconsciously comparing himself with other people of his age and pop culture idols adds to his frustration instead of motivating him.

He hops from one dead-end job to the other along increasing paygrades to keep his folks at bay but instead is digging himself a deepening bottomless pit. 

One evening after a fall out with his parents, randomly strolling in his building's garden, Jack has an epiphany from the most unlikely sources. 

But his moment of truth arrives when he accepts that this cannot be just another epiphany like the many that preceded. This time he has to make a more focused resolution but how?

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In the meantime do let me know if you'd like to watch some of the short films we have made so far. Bear in mind we aren't professionals and we've mostly worked on shoe-string budgets save for one project that was sponsored by the local YWCA.

I'd love to share the links to our channel and the one we made for the YWCA. Maybe it could highlight the differences between a paltry budget and one that is a little more accomodating.

Keep writing guys!

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