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God's Work

I will offer feedback on anyone's script if you will read mine and comment or like.  If you do both then I will put you on the top of my list to read. Thanks!

Step 1: Selecting Your Text

After reading nearly every poem in Spoon River Anthology, I finally married myself to the story of Amos Sibley and his wife Mrs. Sibley.  Amos was a character that was slightly wretched because of his extreme pious nature but was still relatable because of his relationship with his wife.  His wife in the begining to me was the antagonist, but I eventually realized due to a certain student's comments, that maybe both were each other's antagonist.  This helped my perspective and I will be posting a second draft here soon that relays that feelng.

Step 2: Drafting Your Screenplay

This is my first draft and I tend to be frills and lace with my first drafts, meaning that I need to trim a lot of fat off this and am doing so right now.  But you can check out this draft and give me feedback. I will give you feedback as well even if it takes a few days. Thanks! And don't hold back on the comments, i can take harsh feedback as long as it helps.

First Draft:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B47RkB5oa75-bUdJbUs2d3gxSU0/edit?usp=sharing

Below is my second draft. I made a lot of suggested changes and tightened up the descriptions, taking out the novelish writing.

Second Draft: 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B47RkB5oa75-SksxVk1VRlNVaWs/edit?usp=sharing

>> Final Draft: <<

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B47RkB5oa75-LTJfQ2NJWW5lZ3M/edit?usp=sharing

Step 3: Writing Your Logline:  A desperate preacher faces a choice; keep the wife he loathes or lose the work he loves.

(If you have any tips on making the logline better then please share!)

Poems For Cross Reference:

Amos Sibley

Not character, not fortitude, not patience

Were mine, the which the village thought I had

In bearing with my wife, while preaching on, 

Doing the work God chose for me.

I loathed her as a termagant, as a wanton.

I knew of her adulteries, every one.

But even so, if I divorce the woman

I must forsake the ministry.

Therefore to do God's work and have it crop,

I bore with her

So lied I to myself

So lied I to Spoon River!

Yet I tried lecturing, ran for the legistlature,

Canvassed for books, with just the thought in mind:

If I make money thus,

I will divorce her.

Mrs. Sibley

The secret of the stars--- gravitation.

The secret of the earth--- layers of rock.

The secret of the soil--- to recieve seed.

The secret of man--- the sower.

The secret of woman--- the soil.

My secret: Under a mound that you shall never find.

 

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