Girl and the robots / Thunder that struck the mountain

English is my second language I have to apologize if I make any mistakes on the wirting.

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Another idea just pop up.

second idea

*******(update version)*******

****** Thank you Catherine for the idea ****

Once Upon a time:
There was a girl who lives on the highest part of the town.  Her house is full of nuts, bolts, gears, tools, and a lot silly looking robots (in which they love to fool around doing all sort of silly stuff). Every now and then somebody would come and commission her for a robot or fixing one for them. Even though she does build robots for a living, but she’s always dreaming and wondering about space and stars. That’s the reason she live on the highest part of the town so she could see the stars without anything blocking her view.

Every day:
She would lie down on her bed watching the stars for the roof above her bed was a big hole that looks like somebody just crudely  abused it and slap a clear glass on top of it. This is the only time in the day that all the robots would stop fooling around, sleeping, and watching the girl watching the stars, or watching the stars alongside the girl.

Until one day:
She was commissioned for building a camera-bot. As she finished the camera-bot one of the robots see it and approach the girl, begging, pleading for the girl to put the shiny looking lens on it too.  She refused, so the robot does what it can do best; being extremely annoying. The girl was so annoyed that she finally makes it into another camera-bot. The newly modified camera-bot rush out to the other robots and just show off.

And because of this:
The modified camera robot start to act like some kind of leader, as if the len the girl gave him was some kind of symbol of authority. With leadership the robots start to act wierd; they still do silly stuff though, but they tend to wreck the place up more frequently and some what more systematicly. They start stealing tools and left the girl with no tools to work on anything.

Until Finally:
After many unsucessful attempt to get the tools back from the robots. She drags herself to her bed hoping that stars will help her forget these problems for a while, but no... the robots just won't stop fooling around.  Finally she has enough, she rage on the robots and just shout at them to get out or she'll make them into scrap metal. They all stop. Slowly one by one the robots kind of stick themself together. She was surprised. In front of her eyes was the space and stars. The girl sit in awe as she realizes they form themselves into a telescope, she also realizes that every single one of them are modified with lens.  They all look back at the girl as if they are smiling at her, even though only a few of them really have mouth. At the bottom end of the telescope was a camera, a robot camera. It jumps off the telescope and confront the girl. It was the same robot, the first one that she modified; the leader. Now she knows that it was their intention all along. The culprit devise a plan to make this gift for her. All the stealing all the mess they were making and acting all wierd and secretive is to make this telescope for her. That night the girl does not go to sleep for she was busy looking into space and stars with gift she was given.



*****(first version of the story)**********

Once Upon a time:
There was a girl who lives on the highest part of the town.  Her house is full of nuts, bolts, gears, tools, and a lot silly looking robots (in which they love to fool around doing all sort of silly stuff). Every now and then somebody would come and commission her for a robot or fixing one for them. Even though she does build robots for a living, but she’s always dreaming and wondering about space and stars. That’s the reason she live on the highest part of the town so she could see the stars without anything blocking her view.

Every day:
She would lie down on her bed watching the stars for the roof above her bed was a big hole that looks like somebody just crudely  abused it and slap a clear glass on top of it. This is the only time in the day that all the robots would stop fooling around, sleeping, and watching the girl watching the stars, or watching the stars alongside the girl.

Until one day:
She was commissioned for building a camera-bot. As she finished the camera-bot one of the robots see it and approach the girl, begging, pleading for the girl to put the shiny looking lens on it too.  She refused, so the robot does what it can do best; being extremely annoying. The girl was so annoyed that she finally makes it into another camera-bot. The newly modified camera-bot rush out to the other robots and just show off. Now every robot wants one.

And because of this:
A daily begging, pleading, and causing mayhem from these robots begin.  Every time she refuse these robot would act like a nine years old trying to drive their parent crazy when they did not get what they want. They would harass her when she work, when she eats, when she watch the stars and when she trying to sleep. The girl can’t help it but giving them the lenses even though some of them aren’t capable of being a camera she would just make a big hole from front to back and just put a lens in the hole, in which some of the robot thinks that it is really cool.  

Until Finally:
She’s able to modify every single one of the robots. She’s burned out for having to work them night after night. She drags herself to her bed and sleep.  As she was about to fall asleep she sense a movement around her. “No doubt the annoying robots of mine” she thought. For some of the robots were walking on her and some stumble on her face. Finally she has enough, open her eyes, and about to angrily scolding the robots. She was surprised. In front of her eyes was the space and stars. The girl sit in awe as she realizes it was the robots that kind of stick themselves together big and small to form a telescope.  They all wave at the girl. At the bottom end of the telescope was a camera, a robot camera. It jumps off the telescope and confront the girl. It was the same robot, the first one that she modified. Now she knows that it was their intention all along. That night the girl does not go to sleep for she was busy looking into space and stars with gift she was given.

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first idea

My story is about a man (let's call him Jim) who's a brilliant car mechanic, a bloody good driver, and a perfectionist. Ever since he was 15 he dream of conquering the great mountain race route; some say only the best car and the best driver could conquer it. Jim assembled his own car day and he honed his driving skill is the race track everyday. Day after day he spent his time tweaking this and that, assembling and re assembling his car to get the car into the perfect machine. Every turn of the track corner was never perfect the speed was never enough. Everthing has to be perfect for Jim's moment of glory to be achieved. It has been more than 50 years now that Jim spent his time preparing for the great mountain route. From a dreamy young man to a grumpy obssesive old man. The race track that was once full of life is no abbandoned and old. One night as Jim was sitting on a bench that give the perfect view of the great mountain route calcualting and imagine the ideal state of his driving he see something out of the ordinary. It's a car; a poorly assembling car as if the person who made has no idea of what he's doing. The car start running around the race track and is approaching the first corner turn. The poor car wreck in to pieces even before it reach the corner. Jim rush down to the track to see if the driver is ok. All of the sudden a young man (lets call him Joe) rise up from the wreckage of his own car. Jim is relieved to see that the driver is still alive. Jim obsereved the wreckage. He picked some of the pieces up and realize that this young fella is clueless than he think this guy is at the first place. Jim sigh and walk back to his garrage which is close by not saying a word to Joe. Not so long after Joe some how pushed his car wreckage to rest beside Jim's garrage. Joe look inside the old man's garrage. He saw Jim working on his car, but it was no ordinary car it was the most beautiful car he has ever seen. Everything look perfect the car, the engine. As Joe stand there in awe Jim turn back. The young fella suddenly become nervous for he thought that this grumpy looking old man is going to get mad at him for spying on him, so Joe ask grumpy old Jim for tools to fix his car up. Jim give Joe a grumpy look and give his tool box to him. Both of them spent the night working on their own car. Joe fall asleep just before dawn . He was woken up by the roar of an engine. Old Jim was on the track perfecting his drive. Young Joe was awe strucked by this old man skills. Afterward Joe rush to old Jim begging for the old man to teach him. With a superb harrasing skills that Joe does not know he possesed Jim unwillingly accept to teach this young annoying person. Joe take notes on everthing, obsereve, and copy every thing Jim does. Jim turn grumpier than before to has this silly character follow him around. Joe was improving even though he was slow, but he seems to be enjoying everything he learned from Jim. Many days passed one night as old Jim was calculating things as usual with young Joe sitting along side him. Jim realized that Joe is being unusally calm for his character. Joe was watching the great mountain route. Old Jim know those pair of eyes this boy had a dream, the same dream Jim had his whole life. Then Joe walk off to his pity looking car and starting working on it. In the next morning as Old Jim walk out of his garrage he see Joe lying close to his pity old car sleeping while still holding the tool. Jim look at the car, it seems like this boy didn't learn much, but the young fella remind the old man of his younger day. Old Jim accept the young man's determination and efforts. Joe woke up sometime later. He found a brilliant looking car next to his side. It seems like Jim worked on his car. Joe rush out with his car to try it on the track even though Jim has not finish tweaking it. Joe drive in with high speed and reached the most difficult corner of the track the one that he always failed misserably, but he made it Joe just gone wild and crazy inside the car. It was the most beautiful turn of Joe's life. Jim rush in to congulate Joe for the success, but Joe tell him that it was the old man that make the turn it was his talent at work. The old man looks surprised. That night Joe slept in his new car, while Old Jim sitting on a bench facing the mountain. Joe had said to him something that he never tell himself before; that his work was good. It was the first time in 50 years that Jim look at the mountain with out wondering how he should tweak the engine or how he should drive. Jim walk into his garrage sitting in his car. He grabbed the steering wheel and he watch outside the window, outside the garage to the race track. He saw a vision of a young boy enjoying his first time on the track. The drive was sloppy but the boy was having a blast, and it was the first time the boy set his eye on the mountain. An engine roar woke Joe up again at the break of dawn, but there was no car on the race track. Then Joe look up and there it was; the most beautiful car he's ever seen make the turn across the mountain roaring like a thunder. Joe smile, because Old Jim was free.

wow, making the story personal really help 

ps. pictures will be here soon

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