First Inuitive Painting Ever :)

First Inuitive Painting Ever :) - student project

What a wonderful class! You posted this class just at the right time for me in my watercolor journey. I'm a perfectionist and a results-driven person, which I feel is hindering my art and learning. I'm so afraid of messing up or producing a bad painting that I often avoid art altogether. I feel completely intimidated. It's so hard for me to relax and just enjoy the process. I hear people say all the time that they love painting, that it relaxes them, it's their therapy.... holy moly, no way! It stresses me right out!!

That's why this is just what I needed. When COVID-19 hit in America and I was furloughed, I made a challenge for myself to create every day, even if it was just one doodle, for 2 weeks. Prior to that, I was so afraid of my supplies, despite thinking about painting, day dreaming, having so many projects I wanted to do, that I was painting maybe once every 2 weeks.

I watched your course right at the beginning of my 2 weeks, and it was so freeing! I created something on all but 2 of my days! A new high for me. :) I especially loved your guided meditation at the end, I use that a lot. THAT is something that calms me and puts me in the flow state. I also found your montage at the end, where you showed us dozens and dozens of your drawings equally helpful.

When I sat down to try it, I was totally intimidated again, thinking, "but what do I draw? Someone tell me, and I can follow instructions!" So I definitely struggled. In the end I just grabbed one of my favorite mop brushes (Princeton Neptune Quill size 6) and wet a section of the page, then dipped into one of my fave colors (Permanent Magenta by Winsor & Newton) and started dropping it in. It was so beautiful, the way it splooshed onto the page, and I loved the freedom of the gigantic quill brush. I added 2 of my other fave colors, Quin. Purple by Daniel Smith and Winsor Blue Red Shade, and just stuck with those, adding more water, then pigment, then back again, and just covering the page.

The colors made me happy. :) I did, however, have to tell myself repeatedly that this wasn't trying to be a picture of anything, it was all about the brush, pigment, and paper, but I did keep thinking, "is this ugly?" and occasionally trying to fix blends I didn't like instead of just letting it be. So I have a lot more relaxing to do, but it was, for the first time, really soothing to be painting.

Thank you so much for doing this class, I think I will watch it again and again, because I always have the demons creeping in telling me that I am no good, and am just wasting my supplies.