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Failure to be Imperfect; Failure to un-Procrastinate

Do it later.  Do it tomorrow.  My mind goes when I have tasks to complete.  I get talked into not doing what I call impending tasks.  Yes, some of the tasks that I postpone are impending and will damage my near future if I don't complete them.  

Well that is not all. I have great ideas.  Let me tell you--I am not tooting my own horn for nothing.  They are great!!   But I don't ever start.  Why++  I have what is called Perfection Procrastination Paralysis.

It is debilitating because my ideas want to come out to the real world.  They persist in my head.  But then I shoot them.  I  bully them.  I assassinate them---because they will not be perfect on the first try.  New ones keep popping in my head and they suffer the same fate.  I have a cemetery of ideas in my head.  They want to live in the real world.  They want to survive my perfection trial and judgement.  But my fear of not being perfect on the first go murders them.  This has been going on for at least ten years.

Case in point is this Failure Project.  I put if off for three days because I wanted to be perfect even on my first write--and pictures.  So wandered the internet looking for pictures.  I did not find the perfect pictures to express this fear of non-perfection so I went on to YouTube to learn how to draw.  Imagine.  I postponed the project because I had to draw my own graphic that expressed Fear of not being perfect.  

In the end, I said that I could not learn how to draw and left the project undone.  I still have impending tasks that if left undone will threaten my near future.  Today I went online to find out why I am so paralyzed by inaction.  I read an article that shed light on my fear.  The fear of imperfection which conduces to Perfection Procrastination Paralysis.  

I decided that I will finish the Failure Project.  I said to myself that I would be satisfied with good enough to start and if I deemed it necessary go back and tweak it.  

This is my first try.  How did it come out++

This is how it feels to complete something withoutthe judgement of imperfection.  I feel victorious.  Wow!!! I did it!!!!  I am proud of myself!!!

( My interrogation sign key does not work, so I use ++)

 

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