Day 14 and I'm feeling Empowered!

Day 14 and I'm feeling Empowered! - student project

I have to say, doing this class/workshop has been so good for me, and I have so much appreciation for Jessica, Dylan and Skillshare for bringing this about. I think I just might make this a 365 day habit! Thankyou, thankyou guys so much.

Day 14- This last prompt about completing this sentence 'You get to...' had me thinking about how we often neglect the option of choosing oneself and choosing for oneself.

I was reading a light fiction the other day and the book reads in the voice of the protagonist. I was discussing with my sister about how annoying the repeated self-pity was. And I thought that's probably how it would feel if you peeked into somebody else's thoughts, because that's where the narrative departs from your own, right?

And to each of us, we are the central character to our own story and the center of our universe. After all why should it be any other way, because if you don't think for yourself, nobody else can. And only if you can be empathetic towards yourself, can you think of others too.

So, always choose youself, because you get to.

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Day 13- This prompt about 'using your wounds' has me thinking about this internal struggle I keep dwelling over, that of finding my artistic style, there's this constant question in my head like- Are we there yet?
That's where I tell myself- You'll find your way... but patience, lady! 

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Day 12- This prompt about 'cheering myself' and I often have a lot of positive affirmations going on in my head and this is what came to me at the moment- Keep Rockin'  

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Day 11- This prompt about 'changing the tone of your voice' just had me thinking about a wholesome, sunny, extended declaration of 'I'm gooood'. 

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Day 10- This is my mood for today... Looking positively at life like it's a tall glass of LIIT which I've downed halfway already but the buzz should probably give me this positive attitude. Even if it's midweek and all.

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Day 9- For the prompt 'What would my best friends tell me?' , well, my pals are known to tell me to calm down, so all I can hear is 'Just Chill, woman' (paraphrasing, ofcourse. Or atleast that's how my inner self is sending the message across now)

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Day 8- The prompt for today 'it's okay to...' Well, I think it's okay to take a break in general! But in this case, after seeing how the different colors and type styles didn't tie together after I made them, I realised I was being too self critical for this that is only a part of my self-care journaling, so I think yeah, I'll take a break from passing judgements and put that bouquet as a fuck-off to self-criticism

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Day 7- the prompt was about 'giving myself permission to...' Well, I don 't allow myself to do a lot of things like a break from overthinking, to relax, to breathe, to recharge and most importantly to make mistakes! I only allow a shoestring budget of mistakes for myself, so rarely do I try and venture out of my comfort zone and the norm.

Not that I don't make mistakes, but I feel like shit after, instead of just trying to learn from them! I yeah, that's what I'm telling myself- that I'm allowed to make mistakes, and look to where I go wrong instead of wallowing in the past. And I thought, why not throw in a bit of humour- that always gets messages through to my head.
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Tools: late evening yesterday I received my order of @tombowusa fudenosuke brush pens and the ABT N15 .. I HAD to try them, and I am in loveeeee

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Day 6- with the prompt to 'actively listen throughout the day'
I keep making plans and stressing over the future rather than being in the present moment. So a voice inside was like- Hold your horses woman, Take one day at a time!
So that's what I did, to let loose for once even though I fear losing control, I thought I'll give myself a break today. Also I made a whole wheat pizza- my cheat day and am currently dealing with a food coma.

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Day 5- There were a ton of occasions, on a daily basis, where I'd let myself down- by not keep up promises to myself- big and small, but recently the small ones were what bothered me most, coz they are more frequent yeah? 

It might be a failing in accomplishing certain tasks i plan for a day or being mindful of how I spend my time or remembering something important. I know myself yet would still make lists and expectations only to let myself down. But only recently did I realise that it's not that I can't do those things, or that I'm not capable of them. It is that I enter into the day already having given up on myself and with a lack of trust. This was something my therapist pointed out to me and it was a big revelation.

There was this one particular day when it was about wanting to remember something to do in the morning, I'm sometimes lazy to write things down, but also not making the effort to use my mind to remember it... Then something inside my head went like 'Hey, your mind is capable of more than you give it credit for' and that has stuck with me for a while now. 

So I realised that I first need to place trust in myself, I have to believe and I have to 'want to'  believe to get something done. That's why the stress on 'Trust' here-

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Day 4 - is me telling myself to be kind to me. I often have this thing so relatable with my friends and loved ones, where we blame ourselves for something stupid or silly and how we could have avoided it.

We beat ourselves up about it while we obviously would react more kindly and calmly had the cause been somebody else, even strangers are forgiven so easily by us. But we weigh our own selves to a highest standard.

Today I happened to break a cute little glass candle holder and was feeling like shit for half the day and super angry with myself (I also broke a glass jar just last Thursday, careful I am not)
Later in the evening I thought, well, what's done is done and lit up the candle. I think the calming scent helped and I arrived at this thought- to be kind to myself.

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Day 3- I waited till the end of the day to reflect on this, and frankly I am feeling fab, though it really didnt feel that way mid-day. I kicked off the day pretty well, with a great workout and everything, but by noon I was feeling super exhausted and tired, but as the day progressed and I was able to check things off my list, i realised it's a fairly decent day and I need to acknowledge that.

But in the process of illustrating this, I was second guessing myself- the brush strokes are not great/smooth, or the white space ain't uniform... and that's okay (I'm telling myself) because I am learning it and there will be mistakes, and I need to practice. Sending love and courage to anyone else out there feeling this way 

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Day 2- Yesterday I was feeling pretty low, but today I happened to reflect on the last few days and it really had me looking back on all the small wins I've had in the timeline, and I see a lot of progress mentally and otherwise.

And so this is the word that came to me- 'Capable' , from the reflection I gained a little bit of confidence that I am capable of doing better than I did, better than I am doing now. It makes me so hopeful and I love every second I sped on this self-care routine

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Day 1- A lot went into sharing this- so much vulnerability, but it also feels... empowering, to own up this feeling and admitting it.

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