21

--

Current events from the year 2024

INT. main anchor room (year 2024) - night

CLARENCE sits at the anchor desk with exquisite posture. He wears what appears to be a modern take on a flight attendant uniform in an attempt to be uniquely fasion-forward.He fusses over his hair, but abruptly snaps into focus when the directer begins to speak.

DIRECTOR (O.S.)

Clarence! We're live in in FIVE ... FOUR... THREE...

The directer continues the count silently with his hands, and begins action with a point of his index finger towards Clarence.

MEDIUM CLOSE UP:

Clarence

Hello, I'm Clarence Green, here to bring you a few breaking news updates!

zoom Out to Medium Long Shot:

A mug shot of Miley Cyrus appears on the image queue.

CLARENCE

Those of you who have followed the heart-wrenching Miley Cyrus saga since her humble beginnings on television will be shocked to know thatshe was taken into federal custody today. Sources say that she was found in her trailer home early this morning nearly unconscious with traces of bath salts in her system. She is being charged for the breaking and entering of the Chef Boyardee factory in Milton, Pennsylvania. Her motives for the crime have yet to be determined. Her adoptive parent, Robin Thicke, was unavailable for comment. More on that story later.


The image queue changes, and a video feed begins rolling of what seems to be a funeral service.

CLARENCE

Another famed child star, Pitbull, first famous for his role as the naked mole rat in Kim Possible, and later as a Spanglish musician, also met a tragic end this week. He passed away from an aneurism, and specialists say it's most likely because he was thinking of too many words in both English and Spanish simultaneously. My condolences go out to his family.

The image queue changes once again, showing a map of the United States.

CLARENCE

And now, a quick update on the situation over at the MOMA museum, where many outraged citizens are attempting to get the museums controversial new exhibit removed from display.

EXT. FAULT CONSTRUCTION SITE - night

WANDA stands center frame holding a microphone to her mouth. She wears an outfit that makes it seem like she was told she would be reporting live on-site about either the weather in the Amazon rainforest or on the daily life of deep-sea crab fisherman, not on the front steps of a museum in exceedingly normal weather conditions. When she begins talking, she is not quite looking at the camera.

wanda

Hey, thanks, Clarence! I'm Wanda Pike, reporting to you live from the active riot outside of the now closed Museum of Modern Art in New York City. The reason for this riot is the highly controversial new exhibit called "Snapchat Graveyard." This exhibit not only displays a constant stream of snapchats that are being sent around the world, but it also acts as a database for all snapchats that have ever been sent. People seem to be nervous that their one-second snaps might be resurrected. It seems like the authorities are keeping the riot under control as of now, and no arrests have been made.Well, thank you for watching, this has been Wanda Pike, now back to you Clarence!

INT. MAIN ANCHOR ROOM (YEAR 2024) - NIGHT

MEDIUM CLOSE UP:

CLARENCE

Thank you Wanda for that thrilling insight. Now, we have more on the developing story in Brooklyn, where residents are gaining force in their petition to shed the patronizing title of "borough" and become it's own city. The Governor of New York City, Jay-Z, is fighting their efforts. He claims that Brooklyn is not nearly deserving enough for it's own rights as a city, and that it will forever be swallowed whole by the title of New York City.

Comments

Please sign in or sign up to comment.