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Can I be the next Dave Barry?

David Sedaris, Mitch Hedberg and the Onion are cool too.  i just really enjoying reading Dave Barry and George Carlin as well.

Here are my three ideas for the first lesson.  Please let me know which you think is worth developing. 

#1: The Fast Turtle?

A promotion, if I chose to accept it, means moving to middle of Alabama.  There are cows, stray dogs and farm equipment all within view of our headquarters' front door.  On the drive from the main office to the house I will be moving into a turtle was in the road.  I slowed down but I swear it sped up.  "This is one fast turtle" I interrupted into my cell phone conversation.   "How fast?"

well I mean pretty fast. Aren't they suppose to be slow. I mean I have never really seen a turtle in real life but they are slow in all the cartoons and on that one episode of Futurama.  Except in big Bunny they were uncover sneaky fast"

"You know, I'm not sure you're ready to move to the country"

#2: Ambien

the true story of how my father left the house after taking his ambien to bring me my spare set of car keys.  he drive cross the state line, and the white and yellow lines, to help me search the parking lot for my lost keys at 10 at night.  The next morning he called me to see if I knew why he woke up fully dressed, who had went through his bags last night, and to tell me about a dream he had that I needed his help.   When I filled him in with what really happened he just said, "Oh. Don't tell your Mom"

#3 The Calling

i ran into a missionary friend that lives in China.  I asked him how things were going and how he was being used.  It turns out he'd met on a young girl he wanted to introduce to the Bible but she already knew it. Her Dad likes books and had one.   Then he wanted to tell her about her need for Jesus and she could already tell because of a necklace she wore.  She brought a cross necklace but when she out it on she didn't feel right and so she prayed.  My friend was happy for her but wondering why him and his family were half way around the world just to tell this girl "good job".  Then she asked to be baptized and told him how he should baptize her now in the bath tub.  So that was his calling and theological training for that interaction - he went halfway around the world to run a bath!

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