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Better Than Granite: 214

Hey everybody, 

Thanks for all your amazing feedback and insightfull help with my script.

I put up a final draft at the link below. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-c4kXoOhO_rQ3RuYlc2blNoZy00Z1kza3BJekZVdXFoNTNV/edit?usp=sharing

Check it out! 

Thanks and best of luck to all. 

Keep writing! 

J. Papa - 

I wrote a second draft...

Here's teh link to read it. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-c4kXoOhO_rY3ZSODJ6WERuYUtzWFJkYmlXcTNweTUyanZz/edit?usp=sharing

I used the truck headlight as a metaphor for walking toward the light or death. 

Also when a lightbulb burns out it's dead. 

Let me know what you'lll think. 

Thanks in advance. 

I've finished my rough draft and am uploading it for classmates to review and feedback. 

I decided to go with Edgar Lee Masters as a charachter because after reviewing the material the name Edgar rung out and I thought of Edgar Alan Poe and the Beating Heart. 

He also seemed like a recluse and an unlikable charachter who would come to life on screen. 

Edgar can hear the souls and voices of the people in the cemetery as he writes about them. 

My second charachter was going to be one of the poems, but it didn't work with the overall plot structure. 

So I came up with a friend who is searching for Edgar and discovers him up on the hill, in the cemetery. 

The hook is Edgar has been missing for over seven days because he's been dead. 

The reversal hook is that his friend who comes looking for him discovers that he can only hear him because he died in a car crash on the way there and he too is dead. 

LOGLINE: After going missing for about a week, Dermot searches for his bestfriend, only to find and talk to him, eventhough he's dead...because he died on the way there. 

I have selected the Spoon River Anthology, by Edgar Lee Masters

After beginning this project, I had the feeling that each page was like two burial plots. 

They each shared a voice or particular story as I read them, passing on something special. 

I've decided to call my short: "Better Than Granite: Two Hundred And Twelve Voices because the stories of the deceased will be the base of the dialogue for one character.

As another defends Spoon River, saying how life there is way better than being deceased. 

After contimplating whom to use as my main charachter, I decided to go with Edgar Lee Master (50s), rough, disheveled and scrufty. 

He tells his story as it unfold and we see it through his eyes. 

The second character; his Pal (mid-30s), comes searching and discovers him late at night up on the hill in the cemetary, drinking excessivelly and writing his anthology. 

They begin to debate about the voices he hears of the deceased and Spoon River life.

Arguing about who really has it better. 

Thanks and stay tuned for my first draft...

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