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An unknown, undiscovered and terrific place

I still have to work on each drawing, but these ones are just for the purpose of showing my ideas and later developed them well. What do you think about them?

 I tried to improved the story I hope this helps.... and I've made my first design of my character... What do you think about it?

SECOND DRAFT

An unknown, undiscovered and terrific place

Once upon a time a girl (brunette, long hair, big eyes) was in the middle of the forest. Far away, she saw a cave, where children were playing around. She tried to walk to it, but she couldn’t reach the place. She walked and walked. Time ran and ran. The night arrived and the forest began to make creepy noises. She was scared. Everything was going around her.  Suddenly, she woke up in her bed. Every day she tried to tell her dream to her mom, but as always she ignored her and started laughing. The girl did not understand why mom always laughed at her, and disappointed she left the room and she watched the news on the TV. They said, —“5 children disappeared over the night. All the security forces are looking for them, but there are no clues” For her surprise, the children looked exactly the same as in her dream. So, this time she tried to tell her father the dream and her assumption it had something to do with the disappearance of the five boys. The father said while laughing—“OH! How naïve you are! It has nothing to do! You are really crazy. Sad, the girl thought —“O.K. I had enough! The only one that could believe me is not here anymore.”— She remembered the day she saw her grandpa for the last time.

(MEMORY)

That day the sick grandpa struggling and with an old voice said —“Even if you don't see me anymore, I will be taking care of you all the time. Hold this, now it is yours. (The gift is a compass). Have it next to you all the time. It will guide your life and I will be there, watching you. And remember my grand-grandfather's lesson: one must have someone, with whom one can share the joy of the full power of happiness.”

After that night, she decided to go to the forest alone. She was really scared, but she knew she was not crazy and there was something the others were ignoring. She took the compass out of here bag, where fortunately, she also found two matches. She followed the compass. Finally, she was there, in front of the cave.  She lit a match and walked in. The match blew out. She heard crusty noises. She was terrified. She lit the second and last match and she saw she was surrounded by huge spiders. She ran and ran. 

She woke up in her bed again and her mom was watching her and she told her —“When are you going to understand? You cannot do such stupid things! How come you were in the middle of the forest without a sweater? Do you want to die?” She tried to tell her mom what happened and mom again laughed at her, but this time she laughed really loud. Dad entered the room. Dad and Mom started discussing, because he was working and she was really loud. They totally forgot about the girl and what she was saying. And because of this, the girl stood up and left the room…

She took a jacket and a flashlight. She went into the forest. She followed the compass. She arrived to the cave. She pointed the flashlight to the floor. She was terrified of seeing the spiders again and because of this she was breathing really fast, even she felt dizzy, but she kept on walking. Until finally she arrived to a wider part of the cave; there she saw a black hole. The 5 lost children were sitting there. One jumped in it and never went out. Confused, she asked the other 4 where they were going or what they were playing, but they just invited her to go in with their hand and without saying a word. The other 4 smiled and jumped in together. She wasn’t scared anymore. She was marvel and curious of the inside the hole, so she decided to jump in. And so she did...

Ever since that day, everything changed abruptly. Colors shined as never, people's smiles were wider as normally and she noticed she felt a burden fell down her shoulders and her grandpa was in front of her, who said: “Share!”

FIRST DRAFT

An unknown, undiscovered and terrific place

1. There is a girl (brunette, long hair, big eyes) in the middle of the forest. Far away, she sees a cave and tries to walk to it. She cannot reach the place. She walks and walks. Time runs and runs. Night arrives and the forest begins making creepy noises. She is scared. Everything goes around her.  She wakes up in her bed.

2. She tells her dream to her mom and she starts laughing. The girl does not understand why mom laughs. The T.V. is on and the news tell that a 5 children disappear over the night. All the security forces are looking for them, but there are no clues. 

3. She goes to a friend´s house. She tells him about her dream and that she thinks it has something to do with the disappearance of the five boys. The friend starts laughing and says: OH! How naïve you are! 

Girl: O.K. enough! the only one that could understand me is not here anymore.

MEMORY:

Sick grandpa: Even if you don't see me anymore, I will be taking care of you all the time. Hold this, now it is yours. Have it next to you all the time. It will guide your life and I will be there, watching you.

(The gift is a compass)

4. She decides to go to the forest alone. She is scared, but she knows she is not crazy and there is something the others are ignoring. She takes the compass out of here bag. She follows it. Finally, she is there, in front of the cave. She has just two matches. Lights a match and walks in. The match blows out. She hears crusty noises. She is scared. She lights the last match and she sees she is surrounded by huge spiders. She runs and runs. 

5. She wakes up in her bed. 

Mom: when are you going to understand? You cannot do such stupid things! How come you were in the middle of the forest without a sweater? Do you want to die?

She tells her mom what happened and mom laughs, but this time she laughs really loud. Dad enters the room. They start discussing because he is working and she is being really loud. The girl stands up and leaves the room. She takes a jacket and a flashlight.

5. She goes into the forest. She follows tha compass. She arrives to the cave. She points the light to the floor. She is afraid of the spiders but she doesn't want to see them.  She breaths fast and, even though she feels dizzy, she keeps on walking. She faces her fear. 

She arrives to a big hall and sees a hole, where children jump in and never out. She tries to talk to them but they just invite her to go in without saying a word. She decides to enter. She jumps in....

6. Suddenly there are lots of light and colors and she feels understood. Her grandpa is in front of her. ..

 

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