An attempt at writing bad jokes

1. Don't cry over spilled milk, it's no different than your career.
2. There's no time to like the present, unless it's Christmas!

3. Time flies when you're making love to your lady. You're enjoying your time, you feel free, you are doing everything you can do to satisfy her and then in the middle of it when you're about to hit climax she says, "we need to talk". That's when time stops and you start questioning your manhood.

4. No matter how much you try you can't please everyone, a dog can.

** Disclaimer: It's not meant to offend anyone. Please read these with an open mind. Thank you!