An Essay About My Nose

I’m wondering if I have a smelly vagina. Worse, I’m wondering what exactly a smelly vagina smells like.


There’s a smell there, definitely. A smell that I’m unsure of. I scrape my fingers along my walls and bring them to my nose. The substance is nice and strange-but-familiar and I sometimes put a tiny bit on my tongue, just to see if that influences Smelly vs. Not Smelly. When I get out of the bathtub it seems that water has lodged itself inside of me, mixed with the Smelly substance, and a few minutes after exiting the tub I feel the strange mixture gush out of me into my underwear or, better, down my legs. The bath-vagina matter seems decidedly Not Smelly to me but who am I to judge.


It happens when I am naked in bed, once, and my dog rushes to investigate, sniffing wildly. It is unclear if he deems it smelly or not.

The knowledge would likely influence nothing. It is the same as my curiosity as to whether or not I am skinny. Either way, nothing would change, but I want to know, definitively, do you see my body and think Skinny; do you smell my vagina and think Ew. Am I good or am I bad and do you love me or do you not.


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