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ABCD

_____AUG 30________________________________________

Research

 

Ever since I was a little girl (the one in red [on the right]), I'd been torn between my loyalty to my country and loyalty to my nationality. I am a 22 year-old first-generation Indian American-born. I am an ABCD-- American Born Confused Desi. There were times as a young girl where I'd feel almost ashamed to be Indian, despite the grand histroy and rich culture. I don't know why. I would proclaim, "I'm an American!" (which is true, but I said it to spite my Indian culture) to my cousins when I visited India. But as years progressed, I became increasingly unsure. Not that I've been super intune with Indian culture and faith, but as I grow older, I realize the importance of cherishing it. And I feel guilty for being too embarrassed to speak my native tongue and too awkward in engaging with my culture when I had the chance. I feel guilty for being so culturally confused. ABCD. I want to start embracing my culture. I am proud to be both Indian and American.

Authors like Jhumpa Lahiri help me understand my own struggle. When I read The Namesake in highschool, my emotions swelled with every bit of that fiction describing something so real. I hope to find  answers about my cultural identity crisis through reading and through this project.

Statement

ABCD (No More)

Test of Validity

<--COMING SOON!-->

I'm still thinking of visuals to support my statement. Comments welcome!

_____AUG 31________________________________________

While pondering over my cultural identity and reading through all of the very thoughtful comments, I started thinking about the sense of being broken by such a crisis. The state of acceptance is a sort of repair. I recently stumbled across a beautiful word in the Japanese language; "kintsukuroi." I think the word fits perfectly in furthur discovering myself (even though it is not of Indian origin).

I'll continue exploring for the perfect visual that epitomizes my statement!~

_____SEPT 4________________________________________

Having mulled over my findings over the past few days and redreading the definition of kintsukuroi, I remember my favorite artists and writers are Japanese; author Haruki Murakami whose work strives to convey post-war Japan's new generation (my two favorites of his writing are Wind-up Bird Chronical and Kafka on the Shore) and the Western influence on a cultural crisis and contemporary pop artist Takashi Murakami whose Superflat momvement artwork also tackles cultural identity of post-war Japan and the "flattening" of social classes in modern-day Japan. I've been obsessed with both Murakami's for years. Up until now, I thought I was simply drawn by a style of writing or certain aesthetic of graphic art but I realize that their exploration of identity through art is really what compelled me subconsciously to be inspired and look up to them. Despite our different nationalities, we share the same exploration of nuanced identities caught between nationality and ethnicity, among many other social/political/personal crises. 

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