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A Watchful Eye

Hi Everyone,

 My script is based upon Spoon River Anthology. I was inspired by 2 poems Hod Putt and "Butch" Weldy to create a character of my own and an original piece. I used the story from Hod Putt specifically the robbery scene and adapted the physical characteristics of "Butch Weldy" to create my own character, Ivan. Please give me feedback.

Final Draft: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5zaazPOhkLFT1F6NXMzajI3TW8/edit?usp=sharing

Logline : A deformed man struggles to cope with human emotion and in turn, kills the only friend he has.

UPDATE: I have fixed the formatting . I rewrote my script in Adobe Story and made some changes to the action sequences in some of my scenes. I tried to focus more on what you see and hear as opposed to expressing feeling in action segments. Thank you to everyone that has provided valuable feedback. I appreciate.

https://story.adobe.com/en-us/index.html?login=true#o

OK I changed one of my action scenes on page 6, thanks to some feedback.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5zaazPOhkLFNy1KSHNXbWJSYms/edit?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5zaazPOhkLFRTI1dlN6SHQySFk/edit?usp=sharing

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