2nd Draft-Comforting Gyno Visit

2nd Draft-Comforting Gyno Visit

Updated Dec, 20th 2012

2nd Draft

 I brought my pee into the exam room. The nurse failed to mention where I should put it. She just shoved the Dixie cup at me and strutted away, probably due for a smoke break. Wiping it off carefully, I set it on the counter and stripped. I weighed myself hastily, not wanting to get caught, before placing my plump ass on the table. Should I sit up straight? Or should I be lying down? I tried both several times before Dr. Chen came in and asked me to lie back and put my legs in the stirrups.

 “O.K. Just let your legs relax.” Dr. Chen gave them a soft tap with her tiny, gloved hands.

Relax? In this city? Gawd, how I wish I could. I’m more comfortable with this lady staring at my bush than I am commuting to work.

“You’re not actually due for an annual for a couple of months,” she said as she peaked around my hairy knee.

“Oh, when should I have my annual?” I tried to act surprised but this I knew.

“Your last one was in November.”

I knew this too but I said, “Oh really? Hmmm, well I’d like to do it now if possible. I’m not sure how much longer I will be in New York.”

“Planning on moving?” She put lubrication on her fingers.

“Yeah, I was hoping to leave by the end of October.” I’ve tried here, I promise I have…but each time I catch a whiff of that pungent, previously unfamiliar smell on 1st Ave, it’s all I can do not to spew like Santa Con. That and I just cannot get used to coexisting with rats.

Dr. Chen inserted, “Had enough of New York?”

An octave lower, I responded, “Yeah, it’s not for me.”

I still get a little embarrassed telling people I don’t like it here. I thought about that as Dr. Chen moved her hand toward my anal wall. She maintained her focus on the conversation, “Yeah, I was getting on the train today and three people shoved me. I almost fell and I thought, ‘There has to be a better way. There has to be something better than this.’” She pulled her fingers out and takes her gloves off, “Good for you.” 

Well, at least this woman that just fingered me gets it.

_____________________________________1st Draft

 I brought my pee into the exam room. The nurse failed to mention where I should put it. She just shoved the Dixie cup at me and strutted away, probably due for a smoke break. Wiping it off carefully, I set it on the counter and stripped. I weighed myself hastily, not wanting to get caught, before placing my plump ass on the table. Should I sit up straight? Or should I be lying down? I tried both several times before Dr. Chen came in and asked me to lie back and put my legs in the stirrups.

Dr. Chen’s office moved since last year and her clinic is now in the same building as the General Consulate of Israel. It’s bad enough working in a building across from the United Nations, where I have been fully prepped for terrorist and given a guide titled HOW TO PREPARE FOR A DIRTY BOMB ATTACK. Now I get to have my ovaries explored AND potentially be caught in the crossfire of some assassinating lunatic or violent political protest or Palestinian Freedom Fighter or--

“O.K. Just let your legs relax.” Dr. Chen gave them a soft tap with her gloved hands.

“You’re not actually due for an annual for a couple of months,” she said as she peaked around my hairy knee.

“Oh, when should I have my annual?” I tried to act surprised but-this I knew.

“Your last one was in November.”

I knew this too but I said, “Oh really? Hmmm, well I’d like to do it now if possible. I’m not sure how much longer I will be in New York.”

“Planning on moving?” She put lubrication on her fingers.

“Yeah, I was hoping to leave by the end of October.” I know I’m supposed to love living in the BEST CITY IN THE WORLD but my commute alone causes anxiety. The other day I caught a whiff of a pungent, unfamiliar smell on 1st Ave and couldn’t push the idea of mustard gas out of my head. Whenever I see rats or trash piled up, I think of the plague and oh, do I feel a fever coming on?

Neuroses aside, here are some highlights since moving to here: I've been hit by a car, followed home, apartment-less, screamed at by strangers, and had papers thrown AT my face by my boss. To make ends meet, I’ve considered stripping as a viable option. Among my roommates: a sex feen, a coke-addled washout that I knew in high school, and a couple that frequently walked around naked. Oh yeah, and the girl NEVER flushed the toilet, and I mean NEVER-

Dr. Chen inserted, “Had enough of New York?”

An octave lower, I responded, “Yeah, it’s not for me.”

Her hand moved toward my anal wall but she maintained her focus on the conversation, “Yeah, I was getting on the train today and three people shoved me. I almost fell and I thought, ‘There has to be a better way. There has to be something better than this.’” She pulled her fingers out and takes her gloves off, “Good for you.” 

Well, at least this woman that just fingered me gets it.

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