2 ideas for my humorous essay

1) I used to nanny. One night my kids made up a game that involved their dolls saying bad words and having to go to time out (this was based on my time out system). Yayo, the 5 yr old boy, created the game. He was playing with a frog someone had won at a carnival. It was as big as Yayo, neon green and yellow with big plastic eyes. Yayo was pretending a conversation when he turned to me and said, "My Baby said a bad word." Shocked I asked, "What did he say?" Smiling, Yayo held up the doll and, before I could stop him, he came out with it, "I like that ass." We played time-out for about an hour more, but I didn't ever ask what the dolls were saying again.

2) I work at a Yoga studio. A pillar of yoga is the concept of "non-attatchment" another is "kindness." I guess this doesn't get through to all of our customers. One of our most popular instructors was out of town. A woman came to me crying,

Woman: "Sarah isn't here. Some guy is teaching the class."

Me: "Yes, Sarah is running an Iron Man this week"

She responds with a quiver in her voice, "You should have told me." I guess Sarah can be forgiven for running Iron Mans, but I can't be forgiven for not giving a complete report to every customer about Sarah's whereabouts. Anyway, at this point she is crying.

Woman: "Who else is teaching?"

I named 2 other classes taught by great teachers. Failing to consider that most studios only have one room and can only teach one class at a time, she remains dissatisfied with the two other classes I can offer her.

Woman: "Fine... I'll just go back"

I saw her again after class. You can tell when someone has really enjoyed their yoga because they forget to apologize for treating you like crap earlier, and they fail to recognize their hypocracy. I was glad to see that she had enjoyed her class.

Woman: "He was awesome. I want to fill out a positive review for him. He should be teaching his own classes here."

I handed her the card she filled it out and left. She didn't apologize. She didn't need to. I practice yoga, and know all about the concepts of non-attatchment and kindness.


(I wrote these up late while I was at work. Sorry for the typos)


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