Today I noticed there were no cats in the streets during my morning run. There are always cats around our block so it seemed vaguely odd. I haven't been running since last September and now everything seems weird but familiar at the same time. The cats are not there, the security guard posted in-front of one of the villas is not the same person anymore and the three men washing the cars so early don't come out as early anymore. This change made my run more curious than usual because i'm now looking for the cats instead of focusing on how much me thighs are aching. I might look for a different route to run tomorrow for a change in scenery. Somewhere that is actually unfamiliar rather than the has been route I'm used to.
Today I noticed that I'm very bad at noticing. Like seriously awful! As I forced myself to try and notice things along the day I realised that the voices in my head always seem to be in a deep slumber these days. It often feels like my mind hasn't been wandering in a very long time. I think it's the quiet that makes me notice how quiet it is in my head. Does that even make any sense? I try to poke the little people up there to do something or say something but all they do is roll over and go back to sleep. I now wonder what people mean when they say they can't make the voices in their head stop talking.
Today I noticed that people treat you nicer at banks when you know their boss.
Today I noticed my days are only productive when I get out of bed and go directly to my desk. When I start my day working I can keep at it for hours without getting tired. I get lost in my world and everything that I haven't been doing and was putting off comes flowing out of me and the sense of accomplishment I feel when it's time for bed is similar to the one I feel after I've finished a particularly hard run. My relationship to my bed is probably unhealthy. I can spend days in it while only getting out a few times, but I'm working on it. The quarantine isn't making it easier tho because I'm staying at home all the time and my bed is very tempting...
Today I noticed that I never completed this challenge! I was in bed late last night thinking about the blog I want to start but can't come up with a name for when it hit me. Can I really commit to a blog? I couldn't even commit to a Skillshare 10 day challenge. This is how I decided to come back here; I need to see this through. I've been struggling with this a lot lately, seeing things through. I get so excited at first bordering on obsessed but I always lose interest midway. This is how I ended up being an Architect, Graphic Designer, Writer, Web Developer, and know 5 Languages three of which I haven't gone past intermediate level. I'm so confused all the time as what I want to do with my life and I feel like I'm only hoarding information. Life is no Trivia Night, I won't even be needing most of those skills if I'm mediocre at all of them. However, I really enjoy learning stuff. I'm often curious and stuffing my brain with random information is not only entertaining but makes me feel good about myself momentarily. They say knowledge is power but I feel like all the knowledge I acquire is rendering me powerless. Sigh. I think this is enough overthinking for today. See you tomorrow, or in like 10-21 days.
Today I noticed that fighting for things on social media is fucking exhausting. I used to think that trolls are losers hiding behind their screens with no purpose but to piss you off. Today I realized that people I know can be trolls too. I feel so drained but for some reason I also feel responsible. I don't know why I remembered this challenge at the moment but I guess I'm looking for a distraction.
Today I noticed that I don't like shawarma. It's such a weird thing to notice after 25 years of living but here we are. I think I like the idea of shawarma and the excitement that spreads in the room when it's mentioned but not the meal itself. I'm a disgrace to the middle east.
Today I noticed that I don't hate being holed up in the house anymore. Maybe I needed to slow down. I don't itch to go out on Thursday nights anymore. I still would like to do things past 7 pm tho. I also noticed that I barely go out during the day, I detest all morning activities! It's no secret that I'm not a big fan of summers not spent by the beach. This is why this pandemic feels like shit, I only go out when it's dark but we have a curfew at 7! Okay maybe I do hate being stuck inside. I believe this entry should've stopped after the first sentence.
Today I noticed that downtown Cairo has such diverse architecture. I usually sleep through my bus rides to work but every so often I stir and look out the window to find a beauty that looks so out of place yet somehow fits perfectly. I don't know why I'm writing this here, but my friend mentioned doing a workshop on Skillshare and I remembered the 10 day challenge I was supposed to complete like 5 months ago. Looking back on my trying to notice more exercise I realize that a lot has changed since I started this challenge and so I decided that after I write my last entry, I will publish this challenge on the blog. I don't want to blabber on but I think it's quite interesting to look back. I was never able to keep a diary or journal but maybe a 10 day challenge every once in a while may act as a refresher and a lens to look through and reflect. See you at the finish line.