10 Days of Writting

10 Days of Writting - student project

Day 1

Today I noticed a couple of ducks dating during my morning hike. The male duck had a very silky green head, showing-off his handsome committed self under the sun. I stopped to observe for a bit, whilst thinking how I’d walk by them without interrupting that moment. I also had an urge to take a photo of them for my Instagram stories. I have been sharing a lot on my Instagram stories recently. A curated-fun-social-distancing life, I’d call it. I wonder if it is a good thing or not. I like it, I think sharing flowers and adventures and positive messages might encourage people out there to have hope. What I don’t share, however, are those moments where I am completely hopeless, when I cry because over 16 thousand people have died in the UK, when I retreat to myself because I feel alone, when I worry because my dad won’t do the social distancing thing and it makes me so powerless. Living 3284532 million miles away from my family doesn't give me the power to lock my dad inside. I don’t normally share these moments. I might share a few poems on heartbreak and on empowering oneself matters. I share quite a lot on self-development. I’d like to think I am on a nice journey of self-development. I like sharing those things. I used to find them quite annoying when shared by other people, until I stopped finding it annoying and instead I felt inspired by the self-developing folks. People on the self-development journey are normally happier, healthier and generally lighter. They inspire me. I apologize if I ever judged your journey.

Okay. Back to the Ducks. Today I noticed a couple of ducks and, long story short, they were on my way, I didn’t want to disturb them, but I wanted to take a picture and get to the other side to continue my hike. I kept about 5 meters distance and got myself into the woods to pass by. They saw me and they flew away. I didn’t take a picture nor stopped. I felt slightly bad for interrupting their moment, but I also felt inspired by their graceful way of setting their boundaries.

 

Day 2

Today I noticed a man walking his dog, a dog walking a man, a woman running with a dog, a lady with pink hair walking five huge dobermans, a man stroking Cloud, two horses that we named Loyd and Cloud. I noticed three new ponds and a bottle of corona beer floating on one of them, and a duck — I think it was the same duck I noticed yesterday. Today I noticed that I walked almost 24h in April and I felt proud. Today I noticed a group of man wearing blazers and ties, standing by a hearse car. There were no flowers. I noticed a pain like a pinch on my chest as I hold my breath while walking less than 2m away from them. I naturally stop breathing every time I walk by someone. I love breathing. I think everyone does. I am so sorry for the ones who can no longer do it.

 

Day 3

Today I noticed that I didn't lose any weight over the past 2 weeks, even though I am walking like crazy and eating relatively healthy. I noticed that I changed my mood. I noticed imperfections in my body and I fell ashamed by the twenty kilos I gained since my heart was broken. I noticed that I felt an instant loss of energy and I almost decided to stay in bed instead of going for my morning hike. But I didn't. I walked. I showered and I resumed my day. Today I noticed that I was hyper productive and I was extra-giving, I noticed that I had the need of making people feel happy to be complimented on my smart brains, that I was always told matter more than a pretty body. Today I also noticed that I didn't meditate and that I didn't journal in the morning. Today I noticed that when I don't meditate and journal, my thoughts take over my head and I sedate by over-working. Today I noticed that when I stopped working after almost twelve hours of doing it, I felt I didn't accomplish much. But I know I did. Today I noticed that having days like today are essential to my self-development. I noticed the truth and I noticed that by noticing it, I have the power to do better tomorrow.

 

Day 4

Today I noticed a small floral box at the back of my wardrobe while I was looking for my sequins headband. I knew what was inside the box, I didn't need to open it to feel my heart beating a little faster. Why is it so hard to let those things go all at once? I took the little box and moved to the place where all the other little boxes are: inside of a larger box. Somethings are not mine to deal with, somethings no longer belong into the broken crack of my chest. This space is expanding, I am building a world in it, making enough room for the the adventure that will be you one day.

 

Day 5

Today I noticed that surrendering is a beautiful thing. I can’t control what others think or do, I can only control how I react to it.