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Patrick McDonnell

Urbanist . Designer . Coder

5

4

1. At the Diner Before Halloween

First Flash :: At the Diner Before Halloween (<500)

“He looks like an architect.”

“What’dya mean?”

“His glasses and his clothes, and that notebook. He must be an architect.”

“Okay, whatever…Why don’t cha go say hi?”

“You go say hi.”

“Okay, I will.”

“No! Wait, wait. We have to get more information.”

“Like what? Name, rank, serial number? Geez, what is this an interrogation?”

“No, I just...I mean we have to be strategic.”

“Wha, why?”

“Well, I’ve never seem him and you’ve never seen him, suppose he wants to be alone? I don’t want to bother him. He’s eating.”

“Are you kidding? Do you want to meet him or not?”

“Oh, he’s coming this way. Shhhh.”

“Hey mister. Architect guy.”

“Who me?”

“Yeah, with the glasses and the clothes, you.”

“Okay. Yes, what can I do for you?”

“This is my friend Jenny, and she wanted to ask you a question. Jenny…Jennifer. She’s being shy. Anyway, we’ve never seen you here before and we wanted to know if you’re an architect?”

“I’m not actually. I’m a…”

“Jennifer, what the heck! You spilled all over me. You have to excuse her, she’s only thirteen. Get some napkins. Soak up water.”

“Oh that’s alright, I have a daughter myself.”

“Oh, are you’re married?”

“No, no, it’s a long story.”

“Oh, sorry...I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“I’m not normally like this. I mean, it’s been a long day, and I...I’m just a space cadet right now.”

“It’s okay, I’ve been there.”

“Yeah, thank god it’s Friday.”

“Yes, it’s Friday all right.”

“Ha. Well, mister...?”

“Steve.”

“Well, mister Steve, I’m sorry to bother you. My friend and I have to go get ready for Halloween. She’s going as Princess Leia, I’m going as Luke Skywalker.”

“Alright, well, you two have fun.”

"We will, see ya....So there you have it Jen. Not an architect. Too bad didn't find out what he was. If you hadn'ta been a bubblehead and spilled all over me -- Dang. Eh, whatev."

"I'm not a bubblehead, you're a bumblehead."

"Ah geez, alright then, coo coo ball."

"Jeffff, stop." 

"Okay, Jen-a-fish."

"Jeff-a-jerk!"

"Ha, good one! Hey Jenny, look over there. I think he...yes, he left his notebook on the counter.”

“What?”

“Let’s go get it.”

“No, wait.”

“You and your waiting. C’mon, what if we can catch him before he leaves?”

“Hey, Jeff, you get it? What does it say?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a bunch of scribbles and fruit and some weird TV lookin’ thing...Oh, well, I guess it couldn’t have been that important seeing as how he left it here and all. Let’s go trick or treatin’!”

Second Flash :: Treatin’ (>300)

She cradled the dish on her hip underneath her ridgid boob. She brushed the white cat off the mint ottoman, and plopped down on the corner. She took a swig of PBR. She rolled one up.

She flipped through the scary movie marathons. She checked her cell phone to see the latest Instagram activity. She hearted a few pics and commented on others. She reached into the dish and pulled out a handful of mini Snickers and Mars Bars. She bit one open with her teeth and chewed through the peanuts.

She texted “8:30 or 9:00. Wanna come over?”

She straightened her paste-on mustache. She reapplied her hot pink lipstick. She pretended to vacuum and sang “I want to break free.”

She snatched the dish and raced to the door. She straighten her black, bouffant wig and primped her pink sweater vest. She grinned a toothy grin and distributed a handful of mini chocolates into the Princess and the Jedi’s candy pumpkins and told them how cute they looked while she Instagrammed them.

She waved to the vampire and shouted “See you in a bit, guruuurl” at Edward Scissorhands. She stood in the doorway, handfulled a few more candy pumpkins, and Instagramed those too. She pushed the white cat back inside with her black, fishnet-stocking legs.

She read “Be there in 5, gotta put on my sluttiest heels.” She texted back, “Can’t wait to see them! Can’t wait for you to see me!!!”

She took a few more drags and shotgunned the rest of her PBR. She sat back down on the ottoman and adjusted her groin. She sang out, “Oh how I want to be free!”

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