Slide 17 Your SkillShare Project in 7 Steps

Slide 18 Step One: Observe

Wordy: The sheriff Hank Brown was a large and trusted man who carried a gun but never used it and showed pride in keeping his relationships friendly and calm with a reasonable tone, thus protecting the privacy of those suspected of crimes. 41 words

Improved: Sheriff Hank Brown, a large man who never used his gun, was respectfully calm with the townsfolk, even allowing suspects their privacy. 23 words

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Slide 19 Step Two: Observe Again

Wordy: The mother had eleven children all of whom were disheveled and wild but nonetheless willing to attend school, mostly for the satisfaction of entertainment and the relief of avoiding their father’s wrath much of the day not to mention a hot meal consumed in the middle of the day when a child might need some proper nutrition. 57 words

Improved: Her eleven wild and disheveled children attended school for a much needed hot meal, to avoid the cruelty of their father, and ultimately, for the spectacle of the academic stage.

30 words

Slide 20 Step Three: Practice

Practice revising these 3 wordy sentences (to be shared with the instructor):

I am always torn on travel days either grateful for the escape and also to succumb to the exhaustion of a day spent waiting in line, piling into an overcrowded airborne tube, scrunched in a tiny seat with strangers leaning on your armrest, shoulders rubbing, knees bumping, armpits gaping in my face as they reach for their plastic tumbler of sprite.

= 61 words

Slide 21 Step Four: Practice Again

I learned the secrets of the confessional from my Catholic cousins and slyly dribbled water from the large marble basin behind my ears, learned to genuflect and wore a hanky bobby-pinned to my hair when we went inside often on the way to the saturday movie matinee since my Aunt insisted they go to confession before we were allowed to walk downtown to the theater. = 65 words

Slide 22 Step Five: Practice one last time

It is in the small spaces that I can find that wild-eyed cat crouching and refusing to exit the alcoves beneath the stairs or behind a box sitting amongst the spiderwebs and dust bunnies of the cement basement shelves from where he will emerge in his own time with a tuft of white ash on his black fur or sawdust stuck on his whiskers and he suddenly wants to cuddle up and rub the mess all over me. = 78 words

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Slide 23 Step Six: Create

Write approximately 200 words following the given prompt, and with purposeful attempts at specific sentence structures mentioned below.

Prompt: Describe a person you either truly admire or bitterly dislike, and expand on their qualities: appearance, mannerisms, quotes, perceived values, and intolerable behaviors. Do not bother using real names.

Attempt to use each of the four basic sentence structures at least once, and also purposefully use at least one cumulative sentence and one periodic sentence within your description. Do your best to be thorough, using rich imagery and abundant details, but avoid unnecessary wordiness.

Slide 24 Step Seven: Share your practices and creation to the instructor and use the optional peer-view on the discussion board.

Christine K

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