Transcripts
1. Welcome!: Hey, this C here. I am a Project Manager with clients and media, news
and entertainment. I am a speaker advocate coach. I also travel around podcasting width and advocating
for women who have hit rock bottom
into creating and sustaining a light
catered to them. How am I able to do
all these things? And do them really feed into the vision that
I want for my life? Deciding what you want is the first step toward
getting it ready West. And clarity comes from continuous engagement
and a shift mindset. After all that is said and done. Hitting your goals is in
creating a solid system. Throughout this class,
I will give you tools and strategies that we'll be able to help you to shift your mindset to work
for you and your goals. A system that would help you to consistently set
goals and hit them. And also to be able to decipher what fits a
piece of the puzzle. So what feeds your goals and vision and what starves them? You want to stay plugged
into this space of maybe you have 1 million ideas
you want to implement, but don't quite know
where to start. And maybe you find it
challenging to produce meaningful results
despite always be busy. So we will talk about
the busy bee syndrome. Maybe you find it challenging
to prioritize your time. Maybe you feel like you should
be further along the UR right now at often
get sidetracked. This is the space to be in. I have been ready to go on this journey with you and I can't wait to see you
on the other side. Let's get it.
2. Legit goal vs Mimetic goal: The very first step to
achieving your goals is to understand where that goal is coming from and
why that goal is. For you in this
particular season, wherever the mind goes, the man or a woman follows. And so it all begins. Our minds, our mindset and everything that
happens up here. And this really stems
from our beliefs. We move in the direction
of our beliefs, our lives move in the
direction of our beliefs. And so I am going to
share with you five, ease of where our beliefs usually come from and
how that feeds into, segues into our goals
and what we're pursuing. The first is our environment, basically our upbringing,
what we've been exposed to, what we listened
to, what we read, what we watch, the company that we keep,
the social media. This informs what
we believe to be true and what we believe
we should be going after. And this also brings
me to Rene Girard, mimetic desire theory
which states that the human desires
are not linear, but rather they stem from
the desire of the masses. And so basically,
we tend to desire the things that
everybody else desires. And so if you think about it, there was a time
where climbing up the corporate ladder
was prominent. And now we're in this era where entrepreneurship is what
everybody is going after. However, is that what
is really for you? Or is it because everybody in society is forming
contracts around that? And what we should
really be pursuing. The second E is experiences. And so I experienced a
and C came out of that. And still this is true and what we tend to leave out is V, which is our reaction
to what we experienced. So e.g. if you find yourself
around toxic relationships, and that also comes
from experiences, that also comes from
our environment. So if you find
yourself constantly around toxic
relationships and U2, find yourself in a relationship
that becomes toxic. You believe that generally all relationships
are toxic and so that things that we
experience can also inform and reinforce
what we already believe. The third E is evidenced, which really comes from
authoritative figures, science, academia, doctors. And the good thing
about that is, these things evolve
over time, right? These are facts are true. Things that have been proven, may have proven to be true
and they evolve over time. So that shows that we as
individuals and as a society, can also evolve over time. E.g. there was a time that we believe there
will also be flat, not anymore, we have
evolved from that. And so evidence is also a place where our
beliefs come from. The fifth is example, which is really
inspiring role models or mentors that have us
believe that we can also go after something
or do something for ourselves if they
have also that are crossed that line reached a certain level
interior life or in vehicle that we hope
to also achieve. And I believe it was Oprah Winfrey that
said that a mentor is someone that gives us
permission to go after the hope that we
see in ourselves. And so this can be something
that really drives us to go after our goals
and belief that we too can achieve what we want. And the last E, that, that comes from our
beliefs is in vision, which is basically an inherent and innate
burn and tug and pull that informs us that we need to go and
pursue something. So Martin Luther King Junior
said that he hopes for a world where his kids will not be judged by the
color of your skin, but the content of
your characters. And then he started
a movement which has gone on and on through
the decades, right? And so in the same way, sometimes we have an innate
pool and a feeling and an inherent desire that we
need to pursue something, we need to do something. Why, right? It may be breaking agenda. It may be building
generational wealth and maybe getting into a more
healthy lifestyle, right? Just for help and
for living longer and for living a
more fulfilled life. And it may also be creating and establishing something
that can help kids, or specifically kids
with special needs, like whatever it is for you. It may just be that
a burning desire. And the reason why we start from Marbury leaves and
what's in our mind is because we need a foundation,
something rock solid, that we can build on, that informed our discipline or motivation in order
to keep going and being consistent and
build that momentum and bringing that dream or
that goal into fruition. And so it has to be tailored
and catered to you. The logic, you you're legit
go as to what you want, why you want it, and what is going to come
out of that for that reason? We're going to start with
the legit You activity, which is basically answering the blood and build
why questions. And so what goal are
you trying to achieve? Why are you trying to
achieve this goal? What do you believe about your ability to
achieve this goal? What is an inherent
desire that you have? And what is maybe a desire
that you have that may be influenced by the
masses, by society, by social constructs or by
m experience that you have, that has fragmented
your beliefs. Basically just answering
the what and the why. And really open up the layer
into getting to the logit you and what you really want and what you really need
to be focusing on, focusing on and what
goal you really need to be pursuing right
now in the season.
3. Identity Check: The behaviors and the
habits that you have are usually a reflection of
your identity, what you do, it's an indication
of the type of person you believe yourself to be unconsciously or consciously. Going back to our beliefs, research has shown
that once a person believes in a particular
aspect of their identity, they are more likely to act in alignment
with that belief. And so whenever your behavior is an alignment
with your identity, you are literally
just acting out the kind of person that you already believe yourself to be. So e.g. if you believe
that you are healthy or a fit person than what you do
is you would work out more. You would eat right? In a way that is healthy for your body and you'd
get checked off in once you're clear on the
goal that you want to pursue, the most effective way to mold your habit
and your behavior in order to achieve this goal is actually not to
focus on the goal, but focus on the person you
hope and aspire to become. And so think about
who is that type of person and what are the character traits
that they possess? So who is the person
that's a rider? Who is the podcaster, who is the business owner, who is the entrepreneur, who is the traveler, who is the type of person
that's a content creator? Who is this person that
is healthy and fit? Who is this person that has
multiple streams of income? What character traits
do they possess, right? Or they are an avid
reader, consistent, reliable of forever
student, an early riser. The next activity in this
project is to think about who is this person
that has this goal? What character traits
do they possess? Write down the goal that you're trying to achieve
and think about. Who is this person that is
already living out this goal. And so you begin to already see yourself as this
person and make strides in to
achieving that goal. It's not a one day thing, is not an overnight thing. It is a muscle that
we have to exercise.
4. Make it Obvious: Alright, what is a
piece of the puzzle? After becoming highly aware in super clear on
the goal you want to achieve and the type of person that is walking
out this goal. Think about the daily habits and behaviors that help you
to really walk this out. Because each time
you make a decision, you either cast a vote for this person or
against this person. Ultimately, you're casting a vote for the
goal or against the goal. And so really what is a piece of the puzzle is what
feeds this person, what feeds the goal, and how we're going to
deep dive into this is by exploring James
Claire's Atomic Habits, the four laws that
have proven to build incremental changes
and break bad habits. I'm calling this section of
our class Uber to the goal. The first ride is
making it obvious. Making it obvious really has to do with bringing your
subconscious to the conscious and being
aware of the habits that you do without
even thinking about it. E.g. series of things that you do when your alarm goes off
or when you get out of bed, you don't even think about e.g. once my alarm goes off, I ask Alexa to stop. And then I turned to my
lamp, my nightstand, and I turn on my lamp and I have my bottle of water
on my nightstand. And so it's the first
thing I grabbed before I used to have my phone which
I would pick up right away. But when I noticed that this was something I just did
without thinking about it. And so I brought my
subconscious to the conscious. I decided to change that
because I didn't want my phone to be the thing
that I always grabbed. So I placed my phone in my own home office
the night before, so I don't grab it
once I wake up. And so now I do a series of things still without thinking about it
or alarm goes off. Alexa, stop, turn on my lamp and then I take my bottle of
water and take a sip. Believe it or not, your environment
plays a huge role in shaping your behavior. Making it obvious has
to do with really thinking clearly and
understanding the things, the series of things you do at a certain point in time
without even thinking about it and altering
the part that you feel like would
cast a vote for this person in order to embody who the type of
person you want to become to achieve this goal, making it obvious has to do with designing your
environment in order to enforce the behavior
that you want to embody. You go try it the next time
you wake up in the morning. Really be aware and take note of the series of events and
the things that you do, right when you open your eyes.
5. Make it Attractive: Your second ride is
make it attractive. I have decided to
set up my work week with the four-day work structure where I grind and work hard for four days and I take the rest
of the three days to rest, rejuvenate, maybe just chill around the house and do
what I need to do. I think and whitespace
to just create. And to be honest, sometimes I would binge-watch shows that I've been
wanting to for so long or movies that a friend or a family member
has recommended. And I do not feel
guilty about that. I don't feel like I'm
wasting my life away. I don't feel like
I'm a couch potato. I don't feel pressured to
do something work-related. Why rewarding myself this
way is what motivates me to get what I need to get done within the four days
now, don't get me wrong. Life does happen sometimes, but having this habit
is what allows me to freely do what I
wanted to do and not feel guilty about it
within those three days. Think about doing
what you need to do. So you can have a guilt free time doing what you want to do. The soft life is this trending phrase on
social media these days. However, what people don't share behind the scenes
is that you need to get the hard things out
of the way in order to live out this soft life. So think about this. After I emailed three clients, I'll make my coffee or my teeth. I'm a tea drinkers, so shout out to the tea
drinkers out there. I usually feel
left out when it's always coffee that I
hear, but I digress. Another way to think about
this is after I work out, I will watch some sports or I'll watch sports
while working out. James Clear calls this
the habit stacking method where you do one thing
that you need to do, so you can do what you also
want to do. You try it.
6. Make it EASY: Your third ride is make it easy. Did you know, according
to addiction center that 75% americans consume
excess amount of sugar. And I definitely was a part of that 75 per
cent where I would usually crave something sweet after my meal and
after every meal. And then curving this, what I would do
is just not stock my pantry with any sugary foods. And so I remember one
day after eating, I wanted something sweet so bad. And I ran into my pantry and the sweetest thing
I could find was gum. That's all I had. And I, as mentioned
before, I am a tea lover, so I would also try to have
tea before or after my meal. In order to curb that, as human beings, we default to doing what it's easy
and convenient. Energy is precious and our brains are wired
to conserve it. Out of two options, people would usually
gravitate towards. The one that gives the greatest amount of value
for the least, effort. Making your habits and your
behaviors easy is crucial. So you do them even when
you don't feel like it. And so if you're somebody
that wants to start to have healthy habits
and to eat healthy, what you wanna do
is just not stock your fridge with
sugary stuff and instead stocky of your fridge with healthy meals and
healthy foods, foods. And you can make this
look pretty with the Container Store and categorize things and
that's your go-to. And so once you open it, it's clear, it's visible,
it's right there. If you don't have the sugary
things and you're craving that or it's something
you always have to go to. Well, if you don't have it in
your pantry or your fridge, what you're going
to have to do is drive to the store and get something sugary or order something that may not come
in the moment that you want. And so that requires
more effort than to get the thing that's in your
pantry or your fridge. I always say that when
you get around spaces, people, environments
where they're, the people are achieving
your goals and jumping into great opportunities and really living a fulfilling life. Nobody is going to ask you to
put on your running shoes. Now remember when we
spoke about environment, we talked about how
our environment reinforces our beliefs about
what we're able to achieve, what we believe about ourselves, our worldview, and so on. As human beings, we're more
likely to imitate the people, spaces, groups, and community that we're
constantly around. A way to make your habits and your behaviors easy
is by intentionally inserting yourself in
groups and communities in spaces where their norm is basically the goal or the
habit or the behavior you are striving to embody when
making your habits easy, think about the least amount of effort it takes you to
complete that action. If you're constantly around people that are
hitting their goals, that are disciplined, that are doing what they have to do. You will begin to check yourself and align
yourself accordingly. And this in a way, also makes your habits
and behaviors easy.
7. Make it SATISFYING: Your fourth ride is make
it satisfying in order for habit to stick you want immediately feel
successful or rewarded, even if it's in a small way. Now let me show you
how this can go left. If you take e.g. somebody who wants to begin
creating on social media but doesn't really
take the time to do the research on what it entails. They post every day they get immediate likes comments, views. And when those likes comments and views
begins to decline, they also get inconsistent. The likes, the comments
and the views surface and immediate reward that makes
them feel accomplished, six, rewarded and suckling
some form of success. However, relying on
external sources to make you feel successful
is not tenable, and we'll have you doing
things for the wrong reasons. The cardinal rule of behavior change is what
is rewarded as repeated. What is punished is avoided. And this is not to be confused
as instant gratification because the cost of your good habits are
in the present there. You bear the costs
like now today, whereas the cost of your bad habits show
up in the future. If you get immediate
pleasure from anything, think about how that affects
your long-term goals. And if it even aligns with
your long-term goals, making your goals,
making your behaviors, your habits more satisfying. It's more centered
around the completion of that behavior and whatever it looks
like for you. So e.g. if you want to begin to save, maybe change the labels of
your account to trip to Mexico or grease or cute
outfit or birthday party. And each time you
read yourself or of buying something on
impulse or eating out, or doing something on
the whim, rewarded. And these accounts, let me
show you how this can go. Left two, rewarding
yourself with a muffin or a cake
or candy after working out is remember
casting a vote for a particular type of
identity and person. And so in that think
about an ice bath or massage or contributing to
that cute outfit account. Again, some people are
also just as satisfied with crossing and
making that acts on their calendar
and having no gaps. And so x's as to show that they completed their daily goals
or crossing that task list. That task off the task list, don't get me wrong
as imperfect people, not every day is perfect. However, the consistency and that one-percent change really comes from consistency and
getting right back up. Once, maybe one day
you were not able to complete something or
implement that behavior. As long as you get right back up and you continue to pave way, make it satisfying, make it
attractive, make it obvious, make it easy in order
for your behaviors, your habits to really
come full force, you'd begin to see remarkable results into
choosing this person, casting a vote for this person, believing that you can achieve
ultimately, this goal. I have committed recently to having a spa day once a month. However, this is predicated by achieving my monthly goals. And so I do have to cut
back on certain things during the month in order to
contribute to that bucket. However, I'm not able to
hit every every month goal, but that does not mean I read
myself of the full spa day. And so instead of going
for the whole package, I will just get a facial. And that in itself is
where success lies. The satisfaction of
knowing that I made intentional steps
into contributing to me and taking care of myself. And so it's a part of me where I don't just do
things on the whim. I am somebody who takes
care of myself, period. And what that looks like is maybe I can get the full thing. But today because
of certain things, I'm just gonna go with this. Now you try it.
8. Your Legit Goal!: Congratulations, You made it
to the end of this class. We covered everything from
alignment in your behaviors and your goals to making
your allergic goals obvious, attractive, easy,
and satisfying. If there's one thing I
hope you took away from this is that whenever you are making a decision
surrounding your goals, you're either casting a vote for your goal or against
your goal and ultimately for or
against the type of person you believe
yourself to be. Don't forget to upload your projects to the
project gallery on the class page so we can identify where we relate
and offer some suggestions, ideas, encouragement, solutions that may
be bespoke to you. Now before you head out,
your feedback helps me to up my game so I
can better serve you. So be sure to leave
a review and follow my profile if this
was helpful to you in any way and pass it along if you feel like it would be useful to anybody that you know. Thanks again, and I will
catch you on the next one.
Bisi Braimah, Brand Consultant | Creator
