The Ultimate Confidence & Self-Esteem Masterclass

1. Welcome to the Confidence & Self-Esteem Masterclass: Hi, and welcome to the course. What building your confidence. My name is Jacob, and I'll be guiding you through this course. Now you might be wondering, is this the right course for me? And what does a 23-year-old supposed to know about this topic? Let me try to answer those questions by outlining the two main reasons on why you should take this course. The first reason can best be seen through a simple metaphor. Say somebody wants to learn how to cook. So he signs up to Corps only focusing about cooking pasta. Pasta is awesome. Yes. But there's so much more to cooking. And if you look at all the other confidence and self-esteem courses, they focus mainly only on one concept, your thoughts. And this can be very beneficial, yes, and they might even do this a bit better than this course just by focusing entirely on this and going a bit deeper. But there's so much more to convince and self-esteem than just your thoughts. And as this course focuses on all those components, as of right now, it's by far the most complete confidence self-esteem course currently out there. Coming to the second reason, when I tried to develop those skills myself, I learned technique after technique after technique without any structure, without any bigger picture, and afterwards I felt even more confused than before. Luckily, everything's shifted. When Dr. Mirror from the UCSD Medical Faculty taught me and a small group a framework that changed everything. A framework that makes it possible to get rid of all the unnecessary suffering of a low self-worth on the easiest and most efficient path possible. And this framework is the main foundation of this course. Just extend that with pretty much every book and course currently out there. So that you can transform your confidence and self-esteem without having to spend month to try to figure out yourself. And there you have it. Too solid reasons on why you should take this course. See you next video. 2. Self-Confidence Framework: So let's talk about a framework that changed everything. And to do this as clear as possible, let's do so through a couple of stories. The first one takes place in a bar and they will stall, get up the world to approach a girl, gets rejected. Now the situation is the rejection. Then the spiral begins. Then he starts thinking about all the possible things he did wrong. And through this feels bad about themselves. And the same for what he's done. But it doesn't stop there. Because then on the physical side of a head goes down by the language goes down, keys even more upset, then maybe you start thinking that it's just too ugly to approach people in the first place. And as all those aspects constantly influencing each other, this might affect its future behavior by him not approaching people in the first place or doing so even more uncomfortable and even more shy. And something similar can be seen in the second story of the elephant. Because when an elephant is captured very small as a kid and given to a circus, he's attached to a pole in the ground with a rope. And because it's so small, he tries to run away on the physical side, but it's just not strong enough to get away. So over time, the thinking starts, okay, I cannot do it as it feels depressed and physically stops trying. If you look at an elephant today at the circus, he's so big, he has so much physical potential. Is just attached to a pole and the floor and a rope around his neck. And he does even try to get away because he doesn't believe it's possible. So what's the point in trying? But the same goes for somebody with a high confidence. You can see in people with high confidence is that each of those aspects that they can control, the physical influences, the feelings, the thoughts, that behavior, they don't, all those aspects, there's a certain rigidity and safety net of not going down. This can be empowering thoughts, so you don't mistreat yourself or put yourself down even more than you need to. This can also go to emotional mastery. You're feeling down. Notice that you give yourself compassion to yourself like a good friend and move on. The behavior side, you can see them being comfortable and uncomfortable situations. You see them being authentic, and it just seems effortless. Now, once you understand that your confidence, self-esteem is not fixed, but it depends on the situation and the environment, which then spirals down to all those other influences I talked about previously. This means we can focus on each of them individually and outline quick short-term strategies to weekly boost yourself in those areas, as well as long-term strategies in each category that together have the potential to fundamentally increase your confidence and self-esteem. And we really do this step by step by step, starting easy, and slowly building ourselves up. Towards the end of the course, where there's in-depth sections to master every single component. And that's why previously I said that this As of right now, is by far the most complete course on confidence and self-esteem out there. And instead of just telling you strategy frustrated with strategy, it in-depth explains you where it goes, why it is important, and how we can use this knowledge for the future. 3. Momentum is Key: Alright, the momentum framework by Tony Robins. And this can help you to get the most amount of results from this course. So think about four different boxes connected through a spiral. And on the top-left corner is the potential. If you look at humanity in general, you can see that the potential of humans is incredible. But if you compare this to the bottom right corner, the results, there's often a big gap between what's possible in your life and what you're doing. And the thing that's standing in-between is taking action. Because if you have the potential, but you don't take any action based on your knowledge or your potential. High results are barely possible. And that's why this course is very action-oriented. However, that's not all because as you can see in the bottom left corner, There's your belief of certainty. Because based on what you believe is possible, this can also completely shift the potential and then the results. And that's where the momentum comes in. Say there's a sports team and they're not really performing at all. But then something happens. Great defense, maybe a goal. And suddenly everybody believes, hey, it's possible again, which in turn shifts up to potential. Then the full team Takes different action, that body language shifts. And the results is it simpler is better and they create more chances. And that's also how you can get the most out of this course if you're willing to take the action needed. And then you believe that this is the right course for you, then of course, you will get better results. But even more important than believing this course is to believe in yourself and to believe in your ability to radically increase your confidence and self-esteem. And just a tiny bit, There's enough. It will leave a tiny bit. You take action, you leave a bit more. You take more action step by step by step, building up momentum and increasing your confidence over time. 4. Quick Win for Higher Self-Esteem: Treating yourself like your own best friend. It's probably the most common given advice regarding confidence and self-esteem. But then it's also the most tricky to implement. But because the advice is so often given, but so fewer is implemented, we have to go a bit deeper into it. And the first that really helped me is a metaphor of road liner systems. So some of you may know this, some of you may not. But cars today, they have a road lane assistance. So if you drive in a road on a highway and you get outside the road, it will warn you, sometimes we even tweak a bit, but in the end, the car will let you move outside of it. But then there's other cars that drive completely by themselves and they will not let you outside this lane that was previously determined. And treating yourself like your own best friend is similar to rote lane assistance. So you go on your path and if you go out of it, There's warnings like, Hey buddy, what drug would you doing? Your trainees personal unkindly, what are you doing? You're going outside your comfort zone. What are you doing? And based on that warning, you can decide what you proceed. You go back to the lane auditor's different lengths. And being too harsh on yourself is just like the car that drives completely by itself and doesn't let you see your way from the predetermined path. Now what does it mean in people terms, not caught terms. Treating yourself like your own best friend is pretty much freeing yourself like your own best friend. Your best friend has a hard time and it's difficult. You are more kind to them. Maybe they're not acting perfectly, right. They have after break up and the exit bit more hires a bit more stubborn, a bit more up and down. But do you think this person has this heartbroken? Give them some time, give them some space. Let's treat them more kind. But at the same time, if the same best friend really, really steps over the line. This respect, somebody's unkind to somebody, but very, very unkind. Then you step in and say, Hey buddy, Can we talk between us two and really tell them, I know you're a great person. Maybe you're going through difficult times, but this was too much. And that's how you treat yourself, you to just have with kindness, you treat yourself with respect and also acceptance. But once you go to much out of line, then you stop in and say, Hey, you're not bad. But this situation, we can do a lot better than this. Similar to rote lane assistance. Letting the friend Come on, let yourself go over here and there, and here and there. And then sometimes remember, we wanted to go there. So let's go there. And that's the optimal way of treating herself. 5. The Confidence Book: Alright, let's get started with the course. Just a quick coding change to make it a bit less formal. And in this video, we're going to talk about the confidence book because they'll still be low strategies and tactics and action guides. It's just nice to have it all in one place. If you open a document, you notice the first page is concerned with your why. And he just going to fill out why you spend your time aiming to increase your confidence. Why confidence, self-esteem is so important to you. And underneath the y, you can also see the possible benefits. So first write why you want to increase your confidence. Why does it so important? Then you also want to write down what are the benefits. So for instance, a y could be more authentic. And the benefit of this could be done better relationships and be more at ease around people. Finally, we're also going to measure your confidence on the next page. This is a great way to see where are you right now and how you progress throughout the course. And that's why we're gonna measure confidence right now in the middle of the course and also at the end. The rest of the conference book summarize all the key takeaways from this course. And that's why I think it's crucial for you to go to the resources and download this document because it's there to answer the questions, to note the action guides, to note down your key takeaways and have everything together at one place. 6. Section 1: Your Environment: Alright, and welcome to the environment section. The reason we get started with this is it's the SVD of least control over. But this also means it's the easiest to master. See you in the next video. 7. Uncontrollable Factors: The key to realize is that the environment situation can be divided into uncontrollable effectors and two controllable factors. And let's start by focusing on the uncontrollable factors. Let's take an example. Me, I did a course before, only filmed with my phone, but now I'm stumbling through the recording that I'm forced to record it over and over again in the previous video. We, homologs alone will be like five-minutes. Took me two hours to produce just the filming because I didn't know what to say and how to say. And I want to present in a way that actually helps you and it's clear to you, okay? But this is a situation for me that's not within my character, but the outside influence that has an influence on my confidence, making me stumble, even though normally I can have a normal conversation without having to constantly think of what I want to say. And Kanzi saying, Oh man, here and this and that, like right now. But thinking of the lessons, I realized a, this situation right here is two big extent outside your control. And it's okay if momentarily, you will feel less confident presenting because it's just a new situation, it's new environment is a challenging environment. But the key to realize here, instead, if your competence is lower, this is not due to your character or due to not being good enough presenter. It's just, it's a situation that's outside your control that makes you feel less comfortable inside. There might even be situations that come out of nowhere. For example, you meet a friend from your past and suddenly you feel like you disperse newer before and your confidence, self-esteem in the process is lower happens to me having so many people I talked to him. Now if you realize, okay, it's just the situation. I cannot control this. It's okay if my confidence, self-esteem goes bit lower for couple of hours, maybe even a couple of days, depending on what happens, then you're not going to go into this negative spiral so much of pulling yourself down because you just realize, hey, it's okay, its environment, no problem. The second key takeaway is to accept this influence because understanding that environment has negative influence you doesn't mean that you accept this. Because if you say a, it's okay that momentarily my confidence, self-esteem goes lower. It's okay to be in this uncomfortable situation, then the effect will also be reduced. And the final thing is that if you put yourself in uncomfortable situations, for example, me sitting right here talking to this camera. That over time I'll get comfortable in discomfort. So let's say I have to present and my body feels very uncomfortable, but I'll be okay because I trained myself to be in the situation and to be okay in this situation. That's why in the end of the course, variant like very end because it's more challenging. There'll be a big discomfort challenge for you. Throughout the course will be tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny steps building up to this, that gets, gets you outside your comfort zone and slowly towards more confident in any situation. So enough talking about uncontrollable factors, Let's go to things you actually do have control over. 8. Controllable Factors: The first aspect you can control are the environments you put yourself in. There. We have to talk about introversion and extroversion. Because many books and courses, that seems to actually be this idea that high confidence means to be extraverted, to present yourself with lots of body language, to be surrounded by many people, to be the center of the tension. That's what a confident and high self-esteem person is supposed to look like. And I thought there's something wrong here. So I looked for research and books about introversion and stumbled upon the great book called Quiet all about introversion. And very, very interesting in the book is this finding that introversion, extroversion can actually be found in the amygdala of the brain. Already when you were a little child. In a big research study, they put the little kids around one to three years old in an environment that was very stimulating and new to them. New toys, new people, know parents. And then the researchers could actually see two different reactions to those new environments. The one group reacted very strongly, so they moved a lot when the new toys come to room and the other group directed more commonly, they came new toy and they looked at it, but they were just directed more silent, more commonly. And what they found out is that the loud, very moving kids turned out to become introverts. Because in the amygdala of the brain, which is like the emotion center, but also to fear. They just react more strongly to new environments and new stimuli in their environment. And if you take this to introversion, an introvert in the end is not the person who's shy around people, but they're just more overwhelmed in situations that are new to them. Or that there's the way, there's a lot of people, a lot of targeting, lot of truth-telling. And that's why an introvert in a small setting, one-on-one conversations, small group come evening, they feel very calm and very confident because they feel comfortable situation. Their brain is not overreacting. Whereas an extrovert, let's take my cousin. She always wants to do something and go out and explore new places. And she's very typical extrovert and it's great for married. He does all those things. But it's just from her brain. She needs all this new stimulation, those new environments to actually feel comfortable and actually to enjoy her life. And if you're an introvert, maybe historic can help you. Because when I wasn't a Dale Carnegie training and San Diego, there was one person, the typical introvert. You notice like feel overwhelmed when having to publicly present and also with people. And we had to give weekly presentations. And the one that I still remember was when she told her story leading up to this moment. And she said she always was the typical introvert it and she didn't really want to be this way. And she tried but every time she's kinda fell back and feel bad about herself and pulling herself down because it was just not as typical extrovert. But in one moment she realized, I'm shy, I'm an introvert. And that's okay. If you want to introvert, I hope you can learn the same that it's okay to be introverted and it's okay to prefer calm environment of a very stimulating ones. And in situations where there's a lot of people, you will just have a stronger effect on your confidence than someone who is extrovert, who actually needs this. But this is okay. And if you and your free time just put yourself in environments where you feel more comfortable, means less people in the evening, maybe spending some time by yourself. And if you need this, this is okay. If momentarily you need to be extroverted, because sometimes it is actually beneficial to be able to stand in front of a group to present an idea. That's why you can train yourself through the action guise of discourse step-by-step by step, to be able to quickly become extrovert and situation. And then fall back again in a more calm and relaxed environment. And if you're an extrovert, understand that the introvert is not more shy, overwhelmed in situations where there's too much happening. So if you talk to them, just go out with them on a one-on-one walk or just meet them one-on-one in person. And don't speak as strongly and loudly, but go a bit slower, listen a bit more. And this way, an introvert can feel more comfortable being the way they are. And you, if you're an extrovert, can just communicate better with everybody. Hope this helps. 9. Action Step #1: Now once you put yourself in the right environment, depending if you're an introvert or extrovert. There's already a couple of other things that you can look out for. For example, the typical advice surround yourself with great people, might do some extent the uncontrollable, but still, you can watch all to spend time with people that make you feel better instead of people that make you feel worse. Very obvious, but it just maybe changed a bit. Now that I understand how important your environment situation actually is for your confidence and self-esteem. Then another thing to watch out for is your immediate environment. And they found h in research very interesting that people with a low confidence and low self-esteem ticket typically have a messy home and the messy room. And that's why the extra step of this section is to clean your room. You'd have to clean the whole house. Start with the rooms. I will place where you sleep and look at stuff you don't need anymore, throat out, Lucas up that messy, clean it. Go to your wardrobe. Look at things that make you feel confident and things that make it feel less confident. And actually considered taking some clothing way, just clean your immediate environment and say, Hey, my room stays this way, my room stays clean. Rest of styles you can do later. Once you have this, establish that your immediate environment, your room is clean, you can extend this to your home. You also clean the rest of your home. Make sure everything is in place. Built the habit of putting everything right in place if you took it out and write, pretty simple, but it's so crucial for your confidence. So maybe it gives you an extra reason, an extra motivation, tragedy, tidy everything up, then you can extend this even further, right? Like I said, France group, but also your work environment isn't making feel confident or not. It's just things you can tweak to some extent to make you feel more confident. If you actually depend on the job when it's uncontrollable than again, just accept the influence it has on you. Watch out for it and say, it's okay at home. I'll make sure to be the best version of myself. 10. Section 2: Your Physical Influences: Let's get physical. Alright, maybe go that is not a singing class. But now we get into the physical influences of your confidence. This is very interesting because unlike the other things that you have more control over, it is very, very easy to control because you're mastering your emotions and your thoughts and behavior is a bit more tricky, but the physical can be used to quickly boost your confidence. What does that mean? Well, maybe the situation where you need to quickly bounce back from a hit to your confidence, or we quickly to boost your confidence, let's say you have to make a presentation on the spot. And that's where your physical comes in because it's just so easy to control. And in this section we're going to use two of the many quick booths that are possible, as well as one of the long-term strategies. See you next video. 11. Quick Confidence Boosts: The first quick boost I learned from a good friend call to Hannah, and I call it the body map. And what she does in a situation where she's very present or she's very happy, she presses her tongue against the top of the mouth. And now if you need a quick boost of confidence or feeling grade, you can press your tongue against your mouth and your body will actually feel to some extent, the way you felt previously. And the reason this works is when we look at the physical influence in general. Because if you have a close up body language and you have your head tilted and you don't smell. After some time, you will feel more sad. However, if you have an open UP body language and you smile, after some time, you're going to feel much better. But for this reason, you can link certain parts of your body with certain emotions. So you can quickly boost yourself to feel this way that you felt previously. 12. Long-Term Confidence Strategies: Now, apart from the physical boosts your confidence, there are couple of long-term strategies to implement to make sure it lasts. And it's actually three. The first one is physical acceptance and lacking yourself. So you can see this in people who are feeling very self-assured of how they look. They're also going to be more confident and flip side. People who don't like how they look, they're going to be less confidence because they always have this constant reminder that even though the feel-good live in the mirror, and then it goes on again. And this is very, very tricky. So that's why we talk about this later in the course. The second long-term strategy is to monitor your posture and your body language. Because if you haven't opened up bunny language in a posture, you also always have the communication that you are here. You feel comfortable about yourself and in return, you'll be confident. And even though this is easier to master than the physical acceptance on the liking of your body. This will also be later in the course, just not to overwhelm you with too many things right now in this section, the final long-term strategy is exercise. Because this was found to increase your happiness, but also to boost in general, you're feeling of self-assuredness and your confidence. And that's why in this section, we're going to start your exercise routine again. And maybe this already established, great. But if you feeling or no, I don't want to get this started. Wait me out. There'll be implementation timeline to make this as easy and as efficient as possible. 13. The Easiest Way to Build Habits: Alright, As promised, we're now getting into the easy way to build your exercise routine. If that's even possible in if you already have an exercise routine, tap yourself on the back and use this strategy for any other habits outlined in this course. This strategy is by the author James Clear Atomic Habits and it's called The One Minute Rule. It's slightly adjusted, but main ideas come from him. This idea is that if you look at your exercise now, the most difficult step is getting started. And the most difficult step is building the foundation in once you have this, for instance, my mom who loves to run for some reason. So she goes she used to not anymore because of your foot, but she used to go jogging every single day. And if she didn't do this or an exercise properly, should feel bad about yourself because that's the step where your habits actually make you feel bad if you don't get start to exercise. Pagoda video. So it's kind of the sweet spot of great habits. And because getting started is by far the most difficult part, you will now exercise every day for just one minute? Yes. Just one minute. You can do some push ups or you can go jogging or you can do some jumping jacks. I think that's why they're called. And you do this until you feel ready, that you can do two minutes, really ready? Say, okay, it's so easiest, one minute, it's way too easy just to two minutes. It's also still easy for me. And remember, this course aims on the long run. Even if it takes you half year to get to ten minutes of daily exercise. At that point, you have to have it established of showing up no matter what. And if you ever do skip a day, remember the quote by James Clear that the President doesn't win the election by getting all votes, but by the majority. You can take this a step further by the two-day rule by metal Vela, which kind of says, just make sure that you don't have to mistakes in a row. If you skip you in there, it's okay. Just make sure you don't have to neuro because like this, you always have the majority in your favor and in half-year time, maybe it's quicker for you, however long it takes. You have a very solid exercise routine. Once you get to mastering your physical components, I'll also remind you to then jump from one minute to whatever you feel comfortable if you haven't done so already. So I really look forward to see you at the end of the section and see where you're getting with the exercise routine, but also with your confidence. Once you've already learned the basics and already mastered some of the main components of this course. I'm really looking for it. 14. Action Step #2: Alright, already the final video for the basics of your physical influences. So congratulations for making it so far. And this video is another quick boost and it's also your action step for this section is to create a confidence playlist. Fairly straightforward. But actually, if you put on some headphones and put on some music you love, you dance to sing along to it if nobody isn't around, or even if you don't mind, other people around, you are using the car, this can actually really quickly boost your continent self-esteem. Yes, it doesn't change everything, but this is about a quick boost, quickly get you from here to here. You can also do something else, which a good friend of mine does. He has a playlist for said bytes. So whenever he feels down here is a playlist where if you really understood and it takes some time to step back and to kind of just confront himself with his own suffering. And this can also work. But the main action step for this section is to create a conflict playlist. Songs you love, songs really like you would on Spotify. Or if you don't have any subscription service and nude on YouTube or Spotify for free, you'll find your way around. And this way, you can quickly boost your confidence anytime. 15. Section 3: Your Behavior: Alright, Onto the next section, you'll behavior. And just a quick note. If at anytime you feel overwhelmed from all the material and how to put everything together, there is a summary section in the midsection. It's called Cong first. Congratulations, because I think it's great to celebrate. The already got so far. And there's also a longer summary all the way at the end of the course. And if you feel like once you reach the end of the course, there's anything missing? Please write in the Q&A section of this course. And I'll make sure to record a video covering this as soon as possible. Now that being said, I'm looking forward to seeing you in the next video, which will introduce the rejection challenge. 16. The Rejection Challenge: The Rejection challenge, you already heard me talking about it in the previous video. But it comes from a TED talk that I link in the next lecture. I would highly recommend you watching it because it's very nice story how he tells it. And it's also nice to see things from a different perspective than always, constantly hearing my voice, my perspective, even though it's based on other people, it's always nice to hear things from somebody else. Now that being said, just a quick summary of this video. And this idea stems from him because he was more shy and he felt and secure around people. And the knowledge is especially afraid of other people judging him and especially rejecting him. So he read about an idea to do a couple of days of rejection talent, which is consciously taking actions, they will probably leave you rejected. So he's decided to do a 100 day rejection challenge. And because he constantly put themselves in positions where he got rejected by strangers. His body and his mind really understood this key thing. That being rejected feels uncomfortable but has no negative consequences. And this goes for almost any rejection from a stranger. For instance, you go to a person you feel attracted to and they reject you. And yes, it feels very bad to be rejected. But the consequence of this, Nothing's going to happen too much. Like you feel bad and it's uncomfortable. But other than that, there's no consequence because he constantly put themselves in positions where he got rejected, or at least he tried to get rejected over time. It was less afraid and could actually show this authentic self to the world. And in this section we're actually going to do a mini version of his experience, much easier. Don't worry. First watch the video and then come back to the next lecture. So I explain a bit more. We can already start outlining your own mini rejection challenge. 17. Outline Your Own Rejection Challenge: Alright, now you saw the influence of his 100 day rejection challenge. And off you can see why recommended this video to you. And we're gonna do now the 100 days rejection challenge, but a mini version, a three-day average age and challenge, making it pretty simple. And in the next lecture, I outlined a couple of ideas that you can use so that every single day you have one action to complete with the conscious trying of being rejected. So you can see at the consequence is nonexistence because you can know it, but if you feel it, it just has a different influence. And for instance, what you could do, you can finish today this behavior part, right? And already tried to complete the first day of your rejection challenge. Tomorrow, you're going to see the next section, which is your thoughts. And then on the same day, you will continue doing the second rejecting challenge day. And then on day three, you're going to watch the feelings and do d3. Once you have this complete, you come to the awareness, which is probably the most crucial thing from the first basic components in this lecture, you already have a really, really, really nice groundwork where you had a couple of things from every, every, every single aspect. And then we have a quick summary as I outlined before, and then we proceed to master all those components. Alright, but now this is all for later. Let's focus on the rejection challenge. However it fits, you will make it work. I would just advise you that at least one day of those three is ideal. It comes from you and not from the recommendations I give you the next video because I don't know how strongly you fear rejection or what type of rejections your fear, or what aspects you are comfortable. And that's why I don't want to outline the reduction challenge at all and make you pick a couple of things. But if you include one of your, of your own aspects, it just has a stronger effect in my opinion. So let's get this rejection challenge over with NICU in the next section. 18. Section 4: Your Thoughts: Alright, hopefully rejection challenges going great. If not, please take some time and first complete at least one of the rejection challenge. Because remember from the Tony Robins video, Here's your potential and here's the results you get. But only if you take massive action, you're gonna get the results. And if you actually perform the rejection challenge, the belief of certainty, you will feel a, there is no consequence. Hey, it's not so bad, it feels bad, but like I said, the consequences not so bad, then the spiral turns forward for you. So if you haven't yet started rejecting challenge, please do so before continuing this video. However, if you've already got started, tab yourself on the back. Great job. Now, this section will focus on learning the basics of your thoughts. And here it's more of a getting an understanding. So on the first half, we're talking about negative beliefs, like not really challenging them, just learning what they are or at least what you think they are. And then we're also going to focus on things you are proud about himself. And he is very crucial for you to write those things down because we need them later in the course. So please take a piece of paper or open a document on your phone or laptop to write those things down. See you in the next video. 19. Getting To Know Your Negative Beliefs: In this video, we're going to start with a negative beliefs. So look at the text document that's in the next lecture and find out the things that you think are holding you back. Just note them down, like I said in the piece of paper on the document. And once you went through the list, also take some time to think of other aspects where you think, hey, this is something where I'm holding myself back or pulling myself down. And once you've done this, we can focus on the IM proud list, which comes from another Udemy instructor called domino rain. 20. I am Proud List: First of all, S are often tap on the back for going through the list of negative beliefs. Because actually accepting those things that are holding you back can sometimes be very challenging. And if not, that's also great. And like I said in the previous lecture, now we're going to focus on things you're proud of. And it's an idea from the other Udemy instructor, Lorraine. And I really liked it where you just take 15 to 20 to 25 minutes, just put one of those Pomodoro cycle YouTube videos. It's like a learning technique that you studied for 25 minutes whatsoever, but it's actually a video, it's 25-minute long as I'm concentrating music. And you just sit down and write down things, either new text document or on a piece of paper where you're proud of. And you just write till the end of 25 minutes. And if you do have a blockage and after a couple of minutes overriding, you have no clue anymore of water, right? Of things that you're proud about. Simply gold bit simpler or more specific. So instead of writing, I'm proud that I can cook very well. You say, I'm proud that I couldn't cook this that very well. And there are two main reasons on why it is important to write this down. First, like I said earlier, we will need those aspects later, another section of the course. And the second reason is that by you writing down, it also connects more deeply within you. And as a bonus h instead of the section after writing down for 25 minutes, go for walk and really reflect on what you've written. And then go back and circle the things that you feel most proud of. 21. Section 5: Your Feelings: All right, already on to the next section, your feelings and here similar to your thoughts, we're going to just take some time to record the bit uncomfortable, which in the last video was the negative beliefs. Here, it's changed. And we're also going to talk about some positive aspects. So starting with shame, we're going to focus on the work of Brennan Brown, who was a shame and vulnerability researcher. You might have heard from the TED talk, the power of vulnerability. She wrote multiple books about this and shame. This is very uncomfortable feeling that has mainly power, according to her in the dark. But once we start talking about it, once we start revealing it to it, once we bring light to the shame, you will actually fade away because it only exists in the dark. And that's why now I would like you to take some time. Slightly uncomfortable, I know, but you've got to really think about the things that you are ashamed about yourself as a person. And even better would be if you have a personal life and you can trust the person you know, they will support you no matter what. To go through the things you're ashamed about yourself together. You don't have to talk about everything, right? Go as far as if you like. And even if you don't have somebody just take some time, go for a walk, go anywhere, and think about the things you're ashamed about and try to write them down somewhere, piece of paper, document, whatever. And once you've done this, changes or you feel a bit odd, maybe a slightly, slightly released for revealing all the things that we're creeping in dark. But even more important than you feeling right now is to influence this will have, once we've talked about this in the next section of the course, which is your awareness. 22. Treating Yourself Like Your Own Best Friend: Treating yourself your own best friend. It's probably the most common given advice regarding confidence and self-esteem. But then it's also the most tricky to implement. But because the advice is so often given, but so few but is implemented, we have to go a bit deeper into it. And the first that really helped me is a metaphor of road lane assistance. So some of you may know this, some of you may not. But cars today, they have a road lane assistance. So if you drive in a road on a highway and you get outside the road, it will warn you, sometimes we even tweak a bit, but in the end, the car will let you move outside of it. But then there's other cars that drive completely by themselves and they will not let you outside this lane that was previously determined. And treating yourself like your own best friend is similar to rote lane assistance. So you go on your path and if you go out of it, There's warnings like, Hey buddy, what drug would you doing? Your trainees personal unkindly, what are you doing? You're going to do Convert on what are you doing. And based on that warning, you can decide what you proceed. You go back to the lane auditor's different lane. And being too harsh on yourself is just like the car that drives completely by itself and doesn't let you see your way from the predetermined path. What does it mean in people terms, not caught terms. Treating herself like your own best friend is pretty much freeing yourself like your own best friend. Your best friend has a hard time and it's difficult. You are more kind to them. Maybe they're not acting perfectly right. They have after a breakup and the exhibit more hires a bit more stubborn, a bit more up and down. But you think this person has this heartbroken. Give them some time, give them some space. Let's treat them more kind. But at the same time, if the same best friend really, really stepped over the line. This respect, somebody's unkind to somebody, but very, very unkind. Then you step in and say, Hey buddy, Can we talk between us two? Really tell them, I know you're a great person. Maybe you're going through difficult times, but this was too much. And that's how you treat yourself, you to just have with kindness, you treat yourself with respect and also acceptance. But once you go to much out of line, then you stop in and say, Hey, you're not bad. But this situation, we can do a lot better than this. Similar to rote lane assistance. Letting them come on, let yourself go over here and there and here and there. And then sometimes remember, you know, we kind of wanted to go there. So let's go there. And that's the optimal way of treating herself. 23. Self-Gratitude for Higher Self-Worth: And now we come to the last step of the section, the self gratitude condom. That's a tiny bit similar to the I am proud list, but this goes more towards your feelings. So on the feeling level, you will sit down anywhere you feel like and think about ten things that you really grateful about yourself. And even if the items are very, very similar, just write down. I'm grateful how I'm around other people. I'm grateful how I progressed in the last couple of years. I'm grateful that I'm taking the time to develop my confidence and self-esteem. And again, after you went through this, write those things down there, very crucial in the next section. I know in the last couple of videos we did a lot of questions, a lot of writing things down. And this will change. There will be more direct actions to darkly increase your confidence. Is just all those things are very crucial for the section about your awareness. I'm very looking forward to how you feel after the awareness section and how this might change you as a person. 24. Section 6: Your Awareness: Alright, and welcome to the awareness section. And this might be the most life-changing, character changing aspect of this whole course. And that's why if you already watched a couple of videos today, please take some time off because we need your full attention to get the most out of the section. If you're coming back from our break, nice. Let's get started. Your awareness is actually the sixth element of the main framework of this course. And the reason I'm just talking about this now is not to make you feel overwhelmed with all the things you should focus on because that's something happened for me. There were so many techniques, many aspects. I want to go step by step by step, quick summary, step by step by step, quick summary to really bring this together without making me feel overwhelmed and also making it clear why you should take this action. Now that being said, the awareness includes two things. First, is the awareness of all the influences you where that Oh, I think negatively of myself. Oh, I'm in a difficult situation. Oh, this is something that I should watch out for. And once you have this, this I talked about our new course. You just make sure that you don't spiral downwards and you can directly stop and do something to intervene, meaning your level of confidence and self-esteem will never reached the low points, will ever have reached before through the awareness. The second aspect of awareness is yourself. Because very interesting in German, if you put self-esteem competence in the translator, you'll come something like self-awareness, self-understanding. Because if you really understand who you are, your strengths, your weaknesses, things you're proud about things, you're ashamed about things we all touched upon in the previous videos. Then you're going to ask yourself the crucial questions. What and how much of this can I accept? You really understand yourself too much deeper extent. And can you be okay with this right now? This is how it is. It's not fixed. It can change over time. They will take some time. Can you accept this person you are right now as it is, with all its strength, all the weaknesses, all the same, all the things that can still be better. Can you still accept this person that you truly are? And once you reach that level, your baseline of competence service team will never be the same. It will take hits. Yes. It will go lower sometimes. Yes. Sometimes you will not treat yourself like your own best friend. Yes. All those things are true. But this baseline acceptance can never be taken away. It's not going to be of all your personality might only be to some extends off your personality. And that's okay. And the next lecture, you'll see a couple of extra questions to go through. The course. I'll ask you to come back to them and ask yourself the same questions again. Maybe find out some other questions to understand yourself even better, and then maybe to accept even more. And you can think about this a lot, a lot, a lot whenever you think, hey, I'm not accepting myself as I am, you can improve on those things. But the form proven first except powders. You're not perfect. Nobody's perfect. Nobody would like UKIP. Perfect. Those are all aspects we've touched upon in the rest of the course. But now, just take some time. Go to a place where you're all by yourself. Go through the questions, and then accept yourself as much as you can. 25. First Congratulations: Congratulations to make into this part of the course, really, my good friend Katie always said this, type yourself on the back. Great job. You showed up. And I really, really hope that the last awareness Haitian could transform you to some extent. Did you really can say, I accept myself at the time it more. I know myself a tiny bit better. And if not, if you're looking for other aspects of confidence, we're also going to cover them. But now let's quickly summarize everything that we've learned. And then the next video we're going to talk about how discourse moves forward. Now the first thing we learned was the main framework. Alright? So your confidence is always shifting, it's always moving. And let's say you an uncertain situation, this will have an influence on your thoughts and your thoughts and your feelings and feelings on your physical influences, new physical influences on your behavior. Now, if you already established a new baseline in each of those aspects, then your confidence and self-esteem will never again go lower than this newly established threshold. And that's what we did a couple of things for this environment and situation. We talked about things that there's things outside your control. And to try to accept the influence of this and be aware of the influence of this. On the other hand, to do controllable factors. So I hope your room is clean. If not, maybe to consider doing it now. And you can also now extend making your immediate environment more clean, more fitting to your personal style. And also, like I said, your work environment, your friend. So really focus on the things you can control as an introvert putting yourself in the right situation that fits to you. Then we moved to the physical influences. There we learned about two big boost that you can fill out in the workbook. So you always have it handy when you need it. The first Creek boost was the body map, right? The friend who press the tongue against the top where you put your fingers? No. She puts her fingers very tied together, I remember now, but it doesn't matter. Right? That's what I do. I press the tongue to the top and mixed up my mistake. But doesn't matter, you map certain feelings once you feed them to your body and you can kind of remember them. And the other QuickBooks was your playlist, the conference playlist or the set song playlist of another good friend of mine. And the long term strategy is your exercise. There we talked about one minute every day to exercise. And I hope you did this so far, if not really, really, really consider doing this because the exercise is crucial. Also make your body looked better, in my opinion at least. And it also makes you feel better in general. If you did this, you did it very consistently, then continue doing so. If you start with the same technique that out aligned with one that every single day, consider going to the next level to two minutes, or maybe even three minutes, or maybe even more, however you feel like. Now for feelings. The long-term strategy was treating yourself like your own best friend, the road lane assistance. And for quick boost, we had a self graduate count on our graduate continent general. I'm grateful the weather's great. I'm grateful. Had a really good meal today. I'm grateful that I slept very good. You can outline numerous things. You can do them every single day. And again on research does just want to make you more happy, which in turn, right, you feel better. It will lead to you more confident. Then we moved to your thoughts. And then we talked about the quick boost from Jimmy moraine that I'm proud list. And we also found out about the negative beliefs that are holding you back. And actually later in the course, we're going to bust some of those beliefs. And you'll learn how new beliefs are formed. Because I don't want to tell you to say, Oh, I'm the best, I am great. And of course you can make better statements by, I don't want to tell you what you should tell yourself because how confidence and self-esteem looks like to you is different than how it looks like. That's what we focus on, how our beliefs actually formed, at least empowering ones. That's something we also focus on. Next section, I get into this later. And for behavior, we talked about the redacting challenge and don't write anything down yet. We'll also touch upon this later in the course. Now, there'll be a lot of things more covered in this course. But if you already got a lot of value from this course, I'll be very grateful if you could take the time to leave a review to the question that's being said. See you in the next video talking about how the rest of the course looks like. 26. How the Course will Continue: Coming to the outline of the rest of this course. So let's mix some things up, I thought, and put on some different types of clothing because otherwise it gets a tiny bit boring. I tried to make this as engaging as possible. So the key thing that we should do before moving on is to measure your confidence again, we did this the beginning, but now we would like to see a that we already progressed a tiny bit. And for the rest of the course, now we go really deeply into every single component, the environment we already mastered. But we're going to talk about your thoughts, your feelings, physical influences, again, a video of your awareness and to behavior. And all those aspects will require a bit more time from you. So the videos are not that long, but then the action of actually completing them might be a bit longer to really hone them and I want to make it a bit different. So really think of every single component of those main for at least from the wheel that you see to the left. And pick the one where you think you would get the most progress. Instead of following the general outline of the course, just jump to the section you want to focus on. Once you think, okay, I really got this, you move on to the next and then you move on to the next. Every time you can choose, I'll try to make them as not interlinked as possible. Go a bit more in depth by explaining some things double, I'm sorry, but I don't know where you start, so I want to make sure that everything is clear to you. Now to really celebrate you, the action step of this section is a treat yourself. There is actually another quick boost for behavior if you want to write that down. But take some time, maybe the full day or just a couple of hours to really do something that you think, Hey, I treat myself because I took those steps and it will also take those steps in the future. And a few done this. I look forward to seeing you in any of the next sections that you choose to move to next. See you there. 27. Section 7: Mastering Physical: Okay, physical mastery. And this section is designed in a way that every single day for one week, you will have a quick video and then an action guide. And that's why it's crucial for you to watch those videos in the morning, at least stay 234567, because sometimes there'll be excellent guides that you have to plan. Not too much, but just a tiny bit. So it's crucial to do it in the morning. Now, the first day, you can watch it right after this video is designed in a way so you can do it anytime of the day. So even if you're watching it as an evening or afternoon, you can do this pretty easily. 28. Physical Mastery Day 1: Welcome to day one of physical mastery. And this video is all about the quick booths. Because like I said in the beginning of this course, the physical influences are very great. Quickly boost your confidence if you need to. So this video is to, again mentioned it too quick boost. We had the beginning of the course, but also to mention a couple of new ones. So let's get right into this. The first is again the body map where you link a certain physical touch in your body anywhere to certain emotion. So we can jump right back to this if you need to. And the second one we also talked about previously is the confidence playlist. So you just put in some good vibes, maybe update a playlist a tiny bit, maybe make it a bit longer to really have a song so you can play in the car or any way you like to quickly boost it. Now coming to a couple of new ones. A third quick boost is a cold shower. It it is a bit uncomfortable. He has pretty uncomfortable even depending on how often you've done it. But sometimes when you feel very overwhelmed and very tricky, you can combine this with the fourth boost of a quick exercise. And what you can do is you do a very short exercise. Maybe you go for a quick run through a mini workout or workout that you have time for. And after you jump into the shower and do a very, very cold one. And this shock from the cold shower not only makes you more present while you're suffering, because pretty hard to think about other things. But also boost your overall well-being and feeling of your body afterwards, which in turn can already spiral bit upwards the confidence and self-esteem momentum. If you combine this with the exercise, like I said previously, you make a double, but you can also just do either one of them, just an exercise or one of the cops hours. The fifth possible quick boost, our so-called power stances. And you might have seen those before. It's either putting your hands up like this and looking into the sky, or putting your hands to the side of your body and making sure that your posture is very upright. If you do this for a couple of seconds, nothing life-changing, right? But it's possible to quickly boost the physical influence and therefore also influence your confidence through it. The six possible quick boost is breathing. So similar to meditation, but just a bit shorter. You sit somewhere upright body posture and you close your eyes and you focus just on your breathing for a couple of seconds. And this can also, again, similar to cold shower, boost your presence, but therefore also your confidence. And the final physical boost for your confidence are so-called incantations. And there's something by Tony Robbins. But basically what you do your best to it somewhere where you're all by yourself or maybe in the car driving somewhere. And you can just kind of scream it all out. I'm not gonna do this here because the mind is going to break but you go into the into the car and just scream it out? Yes. Or whatever to just leave it all out. And it sounds a bit silly. But if you do this for a couple of seconds, again, a very nice quick boost your confidence. And if you ever have a car driving by with Parse you with somebody screaming, then either watch out or maybe it might be an incantation. And there you have it. Seven possible quick booths. Your confidence, at least from the physical part. And the extra step of today is to take three of those, at least. You can also take even more and try to apply them and try to see which one works best for me. And maybe even you try them all out like a buffet and try what works for you, what doesn't. And then there's, again this PDF from all the six main parts. The physical influence, the thoughts, etc. The violet into quick boost and long-term strategies. And those that work best for you, write them into the quick boost of the physical influences so that every time you need a quick boost, you know exactly what you can do. 29. Physical Master Day 2: Welcome to day two of the seven day physical mastery section. And in this day we're going to talk about your buddies worth in dollars or in general and money. This idea comes from Dale Carnegie, too much related to confidence, but I think it's nice in this physical mastery section. And there was this idea that you pause for a second. And let's start with your two hands. Let's say somebody would come to you and would offer you any value you would think of to buy your two hands afterwards. You couldn't replace them, right? So your two hands are gone, but you have a big amount of money. Now somebody else comes, but now this person wants to buy your eyes. How much money will this person has to give you, to give you your eyes? And you can continue this to your walking, to seeing color through new eyes, anything that your body can do. And those people that have trouble walking, seeing, hearing, they're probably going to tell you that all those things are priceless. Because say there's something that you highly value, like a car for $500 thousand for instance, let's just take the car example. Then. How would you treat this car? You would probably clean it, right? If somebody else asked to drive the car, maybe say no, maybe you say yes, but you've been saved. Please be very, very careful. I don't want to scratch on this, right? If anything would happen to this highly valued car or just replace it with anything that you think is very valuable in your life or would be very valuable in your life. How would you treat this? Then compare this to your own body, which is worth way more, right? We calculated this previously. And how you treat your own body. And how did you do your own mind? And the mind, right? We talk about later in the thoughts part, maybe already watched it. But just from the physical aspect, maybe this motivates you to really feed yourself with the things that are great. And maybe it motivates you to exercise and to do things that are right for your buddy. Alright, so let's come to the extra step of today. And I hope you watch is no morning. If not, maybe consider doing this tomorrow. But today, you're going to treat your body like it's supposed to be, depending on it's worth. We're gonna do this in two different aspects. The first is in the foods you eat. So makes sure to feed your own body with the things that you think are great for it. And the second aspect comes in terms of clothing, right? So we also dress up as nicely as you can go into your wardrobe. It's a special day. Let's also yeah, but his body into the nicest thing possible. And don't want to sound too superficial and not the biggest clothing I myself. But just for today, dress up as nicely as you can, eat the best foods you can. See you tomorrow for day three. 30. Physical Mastery Day 3: Hi, and welcome to day three of this section. I hope yesterday that you had some great foods and you felt great and consider continue doing this, especially with the food aspect that your body is worth so much. So filled with stuff like you would feed a very, very expensive car. And just for one final time, we're going to focus on your exercise routine again. Just as this aspect is so crucial, it doesn't have to be so long. If you do five to ten minutes every day, that's more than perfect. You can extend on this in two or three years. And if you're not there yet, then start with evens out with thirty-seconds, then one minute. Do it every single day and if you skip, remember, it's okay. Just the next day, I'll make sure to do this and maybe that's great to download a habit tracker. There's many, it doesn't matter how they look, what it is. Just write down exercise and make sure you don't skip two days in a row. Okay, enough said about exercise routine, we now get into an idea by Jimmy moraine, which is to do martial arts or some sort of self-defense fighting, right? It's great in general because you physically thing, hey, I'm ready to defend myself or other people if something does happen to me. But also people get right into your personal space way closer than you would like. For instance, I remember when I was 15, I just did it for two days and I did some wrestling and I had some guys button by just being wrestled down my my wrist was not feeling too great. So resting wasn't a thing for me. So I went more towards martial arts are like craft Omega, which is like some other form of self-defense. And there you really get into the physical aspect of people in my personal space. You get used to it. So in other situations, you're just way more confident. And if you're getting a tricky situations, you just have to some degree, at some knowledge how to react. So you cannot be as shocked as much if you are in very uncomfortable situations. Now this is something it takes more time. It's also tiny bit pricey depending on where you are. But martial arts can be great. Exercise routine can be great. For today's action guide. Maybe you already did this a couple of times, but just do a workout minimum of three to five minutes today, we do more tomorrow you can do your one-minute again if that's your starting point and afterwards take a cold shower. And maybe already this industry is again. But if you've skipped this quick boost, just try it out because it's very uncomfortable. But the cold shower is very similar to the self-defense because something gets in your personal space, in this case just called water, not some other person. And afterwards you'll just be more comfortable in uncomfortable situations. We get more into this in the behavior section, but just a great way to really quickly boost your confidence. But it also has some extent, some long-term effects if you do it on a consistent basis. That being said, the form the action of today, you got this it's cold shower. We all been there and I'll see you tomorrow for day four. 31. Physical Mastery Day 4: Nice day for your crossed the halfway mark of the physical mastery tape on the back as always. And to celebrate this, we're going to make today very simple, not too much info, slightly uncomfortable, extra step VS. So maybe not that simple. But the inflammation is pretty short. So we already talked about a bit, at least to some extent, that good-looking clothing can make you feel more confident. But on the flip side, it's also possible to increase your confidence. Putting on clothing where you feel uncomfortable, maybe you hair is not really looking well. The sweater is very old, doesn't fit to you. Depends on not fair at all. You have shoes that do not fit it all. And you put yourself in a situation where there's other people and what will happen? You'll be okay to be around people in closing, we don't feel comfortable. Which then means if you have decent clothing or even great looking clothing for your body, you feel even more confident, even more comfortable in your skin. And that's why the extra step of today is that you really take out some clothing that doesn't fit to you at all, or you just combine something that makes you feel very uncomfortable. And there's two different scenarios. Alright? Level one, go-to place where you're not going to see anybody that you know, maybe drive to a little town outside if you are living in a town or in cities in general, like what are the chances that you meet people that you wanted to just go to different parts of the city or in your neighborhood, you just go for a walk. There is some odds of people seeing you. In both situations. You just walked past some people and you look at them or not, or you say hello, very simple things. He talks to the Casino supermarket with the clothing, you feel very uncomfortable. That's your action step for today. I hope you can fill it in somehow. Course k is just put in some uncomfortable clothing. Go through a walk in your neighborhood very quickly, five to ten minutes, say hello to two to three people. Go home, say, well done, I did this. And the next day, you will have normal clothing or good-looking clothing. You'd be like, you know, I mean okay. With uncomfortable clothing. With this, I feel even better. If you've done this, you've got a tiny bit closer to physical acceptance and you decrease the negative influence that your physical aspect can happen. You'll see you on the next day. 32. Physical Mastery Day 5: Onto Dave, five, posture and assertiveness. And starting with posture, we're probably stuck most my mind is a story from the book 12 rules for live. There except the one which is all about posture. They talk about the crabs and water, the lobsters per se. And there when the lobsters come into the territory, they spray the substance on each other, if I understood correctly. And this kind of indicates how high they have their head up, like the physical attributes. And which kind of indicates how many ones fights day one, how many fights they lost, how likely there'll be to win. One lobster is much stronger than the other. The other one runs away. There's no point of fighting and they've only both thing a were equal, then they fight for the territory and for the females who are in this territory. Well, this story kind of translate to your own life is to have your head up high because your posture is crucial. Look at sports teams, right? I talked about the momentum video. When they're losing their head to head down, the posture is done. And when the winning open body posture, body language, open posture, and they just perform completely differently. And you can reverse engineer this, right? If you stand up straight, you stand up with your head high and your shoulders back. Then you'll also see a signal to your brain that you are more confident that you are really self-assuredness situation. That's the basilar part. This is something to always keep in mind, your posture. There's also devices called the upright goal. I'd tried them didn't like it too much. Right. But they kind of remember you when your posture is going down. Now onto the second thing, which is your assertiveness or kind of like the power you extend. Here. When I read the book, Charisma Myth, it was like when I was in San Diego for exchange and university. There was this idea of the gorilla walk. And kind of what I did after reading this chapter is kind of like the ancients said, that the book wanted you to do. Is you walk through the crowd, right? Posture, upright, head straight on, and you follow your own path, right? You make yourself a tiny bit bigger, at least like the gorilla. That's why it's called the gorilla walk. And you walk, and no matter who's coming towards you, you will follow your very straight path. And interestingly enough, was also written a book, the crowd kind of goals away from you. And once there was a person who found each other as a sorry. And this way it's just like a really nice way to show that your posture can also make you more assertive. Don't always do it, but just try it out. There's also the itemset for today. Go do the gorilla walk, go somewhere with a couple of people or situations difficult to go to. People, just go outside. And when a person comes to you, like a 100 meters away, a 100 feet away, 300 feet. Conversions. You kind of go in the same lane like this person is going and you walk, you walk the walk, and you have to open up in a strong body language and you will notice the person will just shift the lane and goes away. If anything happens, they don't see it to stay on their stay on the bed and apologize. It's also okay. And what do you can also do that because I didn't like this. Gorillas like our strong, we're going to walk here, right? I thought more about, okay, they must be like a nicer way to do it. So I also smile at people and unordered, it's like hey or whatever, that kind of notice me and then they shift away. Let's just also like a friendly way to be more confident instead of the strongest person in the room. The start of people, it doesn't really might be confident, doesn't translate to deeper connections with just the ultimate aim. Also, at least one of the ultimate aims of this course. Maybe combined with a smile and head nod and maybe Hello. And this way you can show assertiveness, but you can also signal to your body how important it is to have this upright posture and fall on your path. Now, complete the action step. And then we see each other on day six, which will be a very simple one. And then we can finish up this section on day seven. See you there. 33. Physical Mastery Day 6: The basics, like I said, is a very short one. And it's also something we already touched upon, but previously just want to mark it out here. And that's this idea of positivity and smiling. Because if you go, That's a typical example. There's like a little baby. If a bad day and the baby smiles at you, you're going to help it and smile as well, right? And then the baby smiles more. I like this nice dynamic. But by smiling, by being positive, this will also translate to you feeling better about yourself. And then process goes again, right? It's also a bit towards the feelings, right? Thank you. Smile. You feel better. You think the day is going better and it spirals upwards. Just remember like to not take everything so seriously. Make some jokes in there. If it's not funny, just pencil, okay, you can just love of all that. I sometimes love here as well in situations where it might not be too funny, but it's kinda funny for me. So that's okay. Just to remember. It's also nice quick boost, just smile, laugh. Look at a funny video to like, I don't like this idea of faking it till you make it. Just watch a funny video, right? Buddhism situation so you can engineer it and then it's real, and then you smile. And this will transit, like I said, to higher confidence. If you keep this in mind. The basics done tomorrow day seven, it's probably the one that Yeah, you will not be able to achieve this fully in one day. I also didn't till like a month. But this is something the physical acceptance at least you build up step-by-step. So come back to this video and like the sections, again, it's kind of like layered upon each other and upon each other until you can really master the physical acceptance and Mastering doesn't mean a 100%. It means you're 80 per cent and new content where you are and that's okay. And you will also notice this and they say oven and also other sections of the course. So see you there. 34. Physical Mastery Day 7: Final day, physical acceptance. And like I said, this is the hardest semester, but let's try to just lay a tiny bit on top of this physical acceptance. And then also outlined some strategies for what you can do in the future. Okay, physical acceptance. Now I hope this is okay to say I want you to meet, right? But we had this amazing looking clothing on day two. We had done comfortable looking clothing on the other days. And now one of the strategies from the book called six pillars of self-esteem is the no clothing challenge. And to kind of lay out how this works. It's something when I started going to the sauna, sometimes cathedrals great way for me to come down The first day, like the first couple of hours to days from the day and also the first couple of minutes, if I go again of you being completely naked in a room full of strangers, it's uncomfortable. But at some point, if you stay in this sauna spot area for quite some time, you just read a next level, physical kept acceptance because you see, first of all, all shapes and all sizes of every single body there is Ryan just walking around you. So you think, like the human body is so diverse, it doesn't really matter too much. How I look is still great people. I didn't talk to them, but I assume so. And the second SP just get more comfortable in your own skin, right? So there's no clothing aspect of you're going to assign us, but it's also nice day to come down. And then you notice there's so many different types of people and they look so different, but they all kind of candy on skin and it kind of signals to your brain. I'm also comfortable my own skin, more related to the book six pillars of self-esteem. There's this idea to at-home undress completely and stand in front of a mirror. And similar to the awareness part, we talked about all your weaknesses are your strength. You look at your body and you look at what do, what do I like? What do I don't like? What is really there? And you try to just say You know what? Again, it's to some degree changeable, but it will take some time, right? We're exercise, eating, etc. But what I'm seeing, I'm okay with it. It's not perfect, but I'm content and it's okay to be as I am. If you reach this, right, It's an extra level of physical acceptance. And you can do this another time. You go to the mirror and again, you just notice everything there is and just say, You know what? That's just my body. I like I like this part. And you focus on not just the bed, but you focus in this case, sometimes just on the good, and then you focus on the bigger picture again, trying to accept it. And then you focus on the good and the combination of this, right? Except in your body, look in the mirror and also saying nice things to yourself. Yeah, today You look good. I'll say, okay, today I don't look as good. But you already did the uncomfortable coding challenge, so I'm okay as I am and layer by layer by layer, you will reach a new level of physical acceptance. Once you reach this ultimate long-term strategy of physical mastery, if anything happens, say somebody rejects you, okay? There will be a bit this spiral, but the physical aspect is so rigid, right? You say, maybe I don't look perfect, but I'm okay with it. So you cannot really spiral down telling yourself, Oh, you look so bad, you feel worse next to me on a project person, because the physical aspect is rigid to going down. And you can use some quick boost to bring it up again. So if you've achieved this to some extent, humans so proud and really give yourself sometimes there's a soul tricky, but if you achieve this even a tiny bit, you can be very, very proud of you. 35. Physical Mastery Summary: Congratulations. You mustered your physical influences at least to some extent. Again, tap on the back. And I'm just realizing or realized this before the video. This type of the bag is similar to the quick boost of the body map, right? This is like a, I'm proud of myself. And you can do this as a quick boost. Again, like the body map to boost your confidence. And boost in confidence is already a first main aspect of physical influenced mastery. And there's five. The first aspect are all the quick boosts outlined on this slide. And again, use them like a buffet. Try them all out a couple of times and then pick out your three, maybe four favorite ones. So you always have something to get you there. Now, the second aspect, and that's the first long-term strategy is exercise. Because exercise makes you not only acceptable anymore because it looks better and other people treat you nicer because you look better, but also makes you feel great. The third aspect is healthy eating because your body is worth so much. Treated like this expensive car and feed your body with the best off, not the best gasoline, but the best food, which is similar to gasoline, right? So nice metaphor actually, the fourth aspect to physical mastery is your posture. We've talked about with the crabs, but also in general, stand up straight and just remember to have this open body language and straight posture. And finally, the ultimate long-term strategy. So maybe circle it in the PDF that's attached to it or write it down in your book wherever it's great to note those things down because otherwise you're going to forget about them is physical acceptance. And if you put those five things together, again, not a 180%, 85% percent, that's enough. Then you will have this physical rigidity of not being able to be hit as much and to be stable and your confidence to some extent you can never go lower than you previously were. 36. Section 8: Master Your Behavior: Alright, and welcome to the section on mastering your behavior. And just like the other sections, this one is again different in a way that there are four theoretical videos and just one bigger action step, which is your discomfort challenge. So why is this discomfort challenge so important that I keep mentioning it? And the easiest way to understand this is if you look at the bodybuilder and a bodybuilder has to put in his reps, right? So step by step by step, you start with small weights, going a bit uncomfortable, going to the next level, higher weights, putting into reps until he's comfortable with that, go into the next level and step by step by step by step by step, he builds up his strength. And the same goes for your confidence in terms of difficult situations. Because one big part of your confidence is to be comfortable. In uncomfortable situations. Everybody can be confident that situation is great. But when it's more uncomfortable than real, authentic confidence shines through. And that's why we do the discomfort challenge. We start very small and then rather the next level. And then we go to the next step by step by step, becoming comfortable and uncomfortable situations. And we're gonna get more into this in the second video of this section. But first, let's talk about becoming proactive. 37. Behavioral Mastery Day 1: Becoming proactive. It's the first and main chapter of the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. And I think it's not only one of the keys to becoming a highly effective person, but also becoming more confident. Because life rarely changes without an increase in responsibility for those who haven't read the book yet. What does being proactive mean? And being proactive simply means to take ownership of the things that you can control. So let's say you in school and there's a Spanish teacher who doesn't treat you nicely and gives you bad right? Now because of this teacher who is also not teaching very well. You could say, I have never learned Spanish and I will never learn to manage because I have such a bad teacher. And there is some truth to this, right? You could learn better with a great teacher. But there's also part of your own responsibility because you could also sit down and learn Spanish by yourself or find other ways of learning. And being proactive means simply to focus on the things that are in your control. So instead of focusing on the little time you have for exercising, you could focus on just finding five to ten minutes to make it every single day. And if you're in a job, we don't like what you're doing. There's so many things you can do. You can look for a different career. You will look for a different job and good to try to go to different departments within that company. You try equal, tried to increase your skills so you get valued more. So many things that you can always do it every single moment. But who am I saying this too? Because right now you're being proactive and you take ownership for your confidence and self-esteem. Like you've got this course, you went all the way till here. You took all those action steps. So you are proactive about your own life. And that's why I guess some of you are even to proactive that in every single area of life, you think, Oh, we can do better. How can I improve on that? You have to also focus on, Is it worth improving? For instance, me, I'm a horrible drawer, but so far really matter as much. And it didn't have to proactively become a better drawer because it wasn't worth it. And that's why just a little extra step of today. Focus on two areas. We can be more proactive. We can take more ownership, but also focus on two areas where you can just accept how it is and say a is not worth it to put so much attention on being proactive in this area. Once you've done this, we come to the next video, which is going deeper in your discomfort challenge. 38. Behavioral Mastery Day 2: Discomfort challenge, definitely the biggest extra step of this course. But also one of those has by far the most benefit for your confidence and for your self-esteem. So let's do this together. You already heard me talking about what the discomfort challenges is, just taking step-by-step by step-by-step to get comfortable in uncomfortable situations. But we're gonna make this in the easiest and again, most efficient path possible. So let's do this together. Instead of me giving you a text documents of questions to fill out. So just pause the video here and there, and we do this together. So the first step is to open your confidence book or take a piece of paper and start planning the discomfort challenge. Once you've done this, you're going to write down all the things that are uncomfortable to you on this document or piece of paper. And go from easy, slightly uncomfortable to very uncomfortable. Just write down everything that you would feel uncomfortable, if you will do this. And pause the video to take a couple of minutes just to do the step. And once you've done this, go again through the list and then categorize them into five different categories. The first category are easy things to do. Those are things that are just a tiny, tiny bit difficult, but not too much. The second category is slightly uncomfortable. The third is uncomfortable. The fourth is very uncomfortable. And the fifth one is your final step or the final day of discomfort challenge. And that's the most, or one of the most difficult steps that you could take. Once you've categorized all the things you've written down, lucrative couple of buckets estimate but empty and just extend a bit so that the, each bucket, you have at least five, at least for the very easy, slightly uncomfortable, uncomfortable. And around three to five for the very uncomfortable and just one for the most uncomfortable that you are willing to do. And don't worry, you didn't have to do all those items just the right amount where you think it's very uncomfortable. But I can do this. And then you start planning for day one, day two, day three, you take some of the easy aspects. And from then on, take as many steps as you need to get from slightly uncomfortable to the final level. And probably best if you just focus on the behavior section while you do this discomfort challenge. Just that we focus really deeply on one aspect will take more time. But this way we can achieve way more mastery. Then you're doing this discomfort challenge and then also doing the extra steps of the other sections. It doesn't really combine as well, right? Depends on your time preferences, of course, and on your learning preferences. But I would recommend taking a bit more time and focusing day by day by day by day and discomfort challenge. And once you've done this, you can move on to the next section. Or if this is your final section, you can move on to the awareness part and then the conclusion. Alright. Back on the shoulder. Once you've done the first day, you got this plan is a bit how many days you're comfortable humming data, willing to put in, plan really step-by-step that you move gradually up over time. And once you've done this, I'm very proud of you. But more importantly, you can be also very proud of yourself. 39. Behavioral Mastery Day 3: Just a very short video. But this discomfort challenge the first step that list can also be a quick boost your confidence. Say you want to go to a club and you think, Okay, Today I'm going to approach a couple of people, right? Let's take the scenario. Then. You can start today by already talking a couple of strangers in the supermarket. And once you had to look club, you talk to some people, may be in the waiting line on the path going there. So step by step by step by step, you already start getting into the flow of talking to people and then talking to people but longer, right in a waiting line or maybe two people checking you in. And once you're in a club, you already build momentum for that approaching people. Not as a big step because you already did a couple of steps previously. 40. Behavioral Mastery Day 4: Okay, This is very short video. It's all pretty straightforward. I just want to say to you, I've put it all out there. And that is to spend your time wisely. Because if at the end of the day you feel like you've wasted your time. You spend your time in a job you don't like. You spend hours on your phone and on social media. You didn't exercise, you didn't eat well, then you're going to feel bad about yourself and isn't a turn, again, will decrease your confidence if you keep doing this day by day by day by day. But how can you make sure that you spend your time wisely? But without, at the end, always focusing on the things that not going perfectly. And that's where a productivity tool that I developed might come in handy. And I call this one the 123 technique, just to have some more catchy name to it. At the evening of the previous day, you're going to write down one aspect. There will be fun. It can be, you have a nice meal, like very specific what type of meal you got with a friend. You're going to watch a movie. Just one aspect that would make this day valuable in terms of fun and experiences. And once you've done this, you're gonna go to the two aspects, which are your two main goals for the day. Because I've seen many people writing down very long to-do lists and they check off six or seven items, but then there's still eight missing. Financially, they feel bad. They could spend their time wisely, of course, that's some time where some time was wasted. It's in every single day. So if you just focus on two main aspects, do you want to complete every single day? And that can be something very easy. It can also be something more challenging. But if every single day you complete to action steps that actually move you forward. And the end of the year, 365 times two is around 720 tasks that are crucial for your life and step by step by step you moving forward. This is great because at the end of the day, you only had two things that you tried to check off really every single day, tried to make it a commitment. Every single day you're going to get checkup, at least those two aspects. It makes it easy to achieve. And if during the day you had some time where you waste a little bit of time, you'd list completed your two main action steps. So we talked about the one fun thing. We talked about the two aspects you should achieve every single day. And the three is your daily habits. There you just write down, what are the three main habits that you want to achieve. And Judas at the beginning of the month. So this can be exercise, it can be this comfort challenge or height. If you have the discomfort talent right here, it can be the rejection parts, it can be meditation, it can be healthy eating can be doing a good deed. So at the beginning of the month, you just write down the three main habits you want to focus on in the evening. And very simple. One fun thing, two main goals, and then three habits that you wrote down at beginning of the month. You don't even have to think about too much. If you do this, you're going to spend your time wisely. And at the end of the day, Be proud for what you have achieved. And soft link, shame of all the things you would have done. Extra. 41. Behavioral Mastery Day 5: On to the final video of mastering your behavior. And that's also one of the ultimate long-term strategies, which is radical authenticity. And we can see this in pretty much every person has a very high confidence, self-esteem. They also very authentic. Their caves, sometimes they get rejected. And they okay if some people don't like them, but to the other people would really draws us to them. And it's also one of the most charismatic traits. Just be very authentic and not in a self-centered way. We talk about more about this in the feeling thinking, but in a way that also puts the tension on others. That doesn't have to always take attention and take listening time, but can give away attention because you have such a high self-worth and you just yourself. That's okay. Like so many things for the long term, this is easier said than done. But if you're afraid to be rejected, the new couple of extra days of rejection challenge in your discomfort, challenge. If you're afraid of people not liking you, then watch the video board. Liking in the thought must resection and understand that being authentic and not trying to be like, actually it's you being liked the most. And if you're afraid of some uncomfortable situations because you being authentic, then guess what, put it more into the discomfort challenge, That's the drill. If you perform this daily, you can also make this one off your daily ancient goals in the daily planning, you will reach the next level, confidence and self-esteem. Because you don't constantly think, what do others think of me? But you focus on what you think of them. You don't fake it because you are authentic. Sometimes you're sad, who bring the emotions out. You can also share, Hey, right now I'm not doing so well. That's also very authentic. I noticed very difficult. But if you put your reps and just like the bodybuilder, I think you're going to achieve this radical authenticity around others and also transform your confidence and self-esteem on the behavioral level. See you in the next section. 42. Section 9: Master Your Thoughts: Hi, and welcome to the section about mastering your thoughts. This section has the same layout like the physical influence section, in a way that it will be split up in seven different days. Every day you have a video with theoretical parts and then one action guide to complete. 43. Thoughts Mastery Day 1: Let's start this day with a little story. Say you have to go to court because he did something bad. You walk up the stairs and I'm very nervous and very anxious. And you open the doors and the judge is yourself, chances are you'd be very relieved because this means, hey, I can decide my own judgment. Nothing really bad happened. Because if I want to, I could just even leave the cord right away and declare myself as non guilty. And when it comes to assessing your own self-worth, Ultimately, you're the only judge who can decide if you're good enough or you're not. But still, most of us decide to be way too harsh on ourselves. And to add to the injustice, we don't just punish ourselves once, but multiple times for very small mistake. We keep repeating the punishment of pulling ourselves down sometimes for the rest of our lifetime. Then again, to add more to this injustice, we only judge herself depending on very few criteria. Instead of assessing the complete picture. Because some people just judge their own self-worth based on success in their career. Or some people just assess their own self-worth based on our other people like them. Or they assess their own self-worth depending on what they get done every single day. And even though all those aspects are important, there are so many more aspects to take in consideration. All those things combined because not only the results matter, but also the effort you put in. So let's shift this back to equality. The first aspect is to find out all the criteria that matter for assessing your own self-worth as a person. So how can this criteria look like? The first hour of categories are your values. So what are the main things you'd like to stand for? That honesty or the positivity? Or is it support of others? Or is it kindness, or is it growth? Outline the main values you would like to stand for and judge yourself worth, depending on this, at least to a very small percentage. Then you can go to the next pillars. Some can be for your physical aspects, meaning how well you exercise, how will it look? It can be based on how you feel. It can be based on how you treat people on your behavior. It can be based on how you teach yourself in terms of thoughts and tuning yourself like your own best friend. We talk about this more in the feelings section. You can judge yourself based on your performance and your career of your students in the school, but also to some extent. And you can even touch yourself depending on how others treat you. Because two small percentage, it's a nice feedback to see, hey, to people like me because it means I do something right? And it does, it gets tricky if you overvalue one of those aspects. If your career is the main driver for your own self-worth, things might go great and you would feel great, but then something happens and your self-esteem and confidence plummets. But if you focus on multiple aspects, this cannot happen to you. And it's also a more fair judgment of user person. And if you do make a mistake, then like a fair judge, find the right way to make up for this. It can be apologizing to somebody, maybe making gifts to say you're sorry and do this. Once he made a mistake to just several self-compassion, again more in the feelings section. Then find something how you can make up for it. And it's off the table. Forgiveness, this key. Why would you punish yourself two years later if you already made up for it doesn't make any sense and is very unjust. And that's also the extra step for today. Finite the category's you'd like to judge yourself on. And also how much you'd like to value yourself depending on your situation. And then also commit that if you do make a mistake, that you make up for it once, and then you forgive yourself. 44. Thoughts Mastery Day 2: Onto the second day, which the belief busting workshop. And first pause this video and finally the list you made previously in the course on beliefs that are holding yourself back. And once you've found this underline, the two main aspects that you think if you'd bust them, would have the most impact on your self-esteem and your confidence. So let's talk a bit about where those beliefs came from in the first place. And beliefs can be thoughts or feelings or visualizations that you kept repeating. See planted a seed and it grew roots and more routes and more down roots. And you've got a big, big tree with a big belief holding you back with just a lot of routes that are making it stuck, making it hard to change. So for instance, you can say, I'm not worthy is a person, right? It's pleated, holding him back then because I don't look good. Because people don't like me. Because I'm betting my career because I was waste my time. All those aspects being the roots of the belief, holding yourself back and being good enough might be a bit too big. So focused on something maybe a bit more specific. Like, I'm not attractive or people don't like me. And then pause the video and write down all the roots that you think. Make this belief stuck and hard to change. Once you've done this, it comes to busting their beliefs, right? And it's really straightforward. We tried to get rid of every single root step-by-step iStep, replaced with different routes and then build completely different beliefs that are beneficial for you. And then holding yourself back in your own judge of yourself, right? We've talked about this in a day one. So let's make this as fair and accurate as possible. So after you wrote down the two men, Billy's going to focus on. And then also at least four to five roots. It comes time to challenge those roots. The first question to ask yourself is, is this correct? Do I have all the information? Could this belief and all those roots because maybe via misinterpretation, dislike digging up the soil because maybe you didn't have all the information to say unattractive. And the second question you're gonna ask yourself then is, where does this belief come from? Does it come from my past, from some people who said it? Does it come completely from myself, just for my assumptions that I made. And if it was just from me or from the past, could those beliefs be wrong? And then you're going to ask yourself, what are the consequences of disbelief for my life, for my happiness, for my relationships, for my confidence and self-esteem. What are all the consequences that come from disbelief? Once you've done this, you're going to ask yourself, Okay, if this belief would be not there at all, I could get rid of it. How will this benefit my life? And once you've done this, the soil is actually so shaken up that you can take out some of those negative beliefs and replace them with our actual reality looks like. So for instance, the belief people don't like me. Then some of the roots is because I don't get invited to events because people talk more about themselves and asking questions. Or because I'm not good enough presenter, Good enough communicator. I don't ask the right questions. Then you ask yourself, could this be wrong? Could just be just made up the assumptions. And whereas this belief even come from. And if all those things nobody ever told you that nobody told you a boring or you don't like you and all came from your head, then are you the right judge or like a fair judge to assess your own aspect of being liked. And what are the consequences of all those roots enough disbelief. Because maybe you behave more uncomfortable, less like yourself. In the process we would like to do like you bid less because I feel like this person behaves a bit uncomfortable. There must be something wrong. And then you ask yourself, what could I change or home life look like? If this belief would not be there? Better relationships, more authenticity, all those positive aspects. And then comes the time to take out the roots in replacing the ones you grant comes the belief. People like me, because there are many events I get invited to. I don't get invited to everything. But there's some meaning people like me. I have two friends who know they can count on me. I'm always listening and being a great friend. All those aspects you can replace the process, build a strong foundation for the new belief. Then it comes time to water this and treated planned day by day by day. You focus on the roots. You focus on nurturing this tree or this plan. What it is just the metaphor to building this. Step by step by step. The tree gets stronger in growth. Roots also go deeper. And once you've done this, you ******* to believe and build a new one. Now in the next video, I'm going to outline a slightly adjusted version of this. But in the end it's the same process of you taking out the roots and building new ones. It's just like a tiny bit different way. And then action step for today is to find out to beliefs and then to bust them in this process. And for one of them, also try the manuscript and method. Unlike in the next video. If you've done this, I'm gonna see you in day three, which going to talk about belief building in general. 45. Thoughts Mastery Day 2 (Part 2): Another metal scripting method stems from a YouTuber called market pet. I think that's how you pronounce this name. If not, I'm very sorry. But I think this is just a great way to actually identify the current beliefs, get rid of them, and replace them with new ones in a very authentic and honest and true way. Instead of just faking it till you make it, which an idea really do not like. How many scripting works is that you identify an aspect, upset about yourself or something you don't like. Then you're going to write down as much as possible about things love, you dislike about the situation, and things where you are indifferent. And once you've done this with the current situation, you will do the same for person who would really love to do is I would think very differently. It's very unclear. So let me give you an example. Now, I had a course in university. I really didn't like because I was forced to do so many aspects. I wanted to focus on different things. And I was very upset. And every time I was doing the course, even though it could have learned some things, also is very focusing on negative, very bad. Like, I don't wanna do this. Like what do they want from me at already, right. Like a ten day report after the end of the week. Okay. I didn't even learn anything that doesn't benefit me at all. And then there was the first time I tried the metal scripting method. I started with the current situation. That was like, I love to do things that benefit me. And I love to grow as a person. And I love to be positive, right? As the current situation like this is some positive beliefs that are still there. And then I move to the next aspect, things I strongly dislike this list pretty long. I dislike the course. I dislike. I had to take this course. I really dislike how the course is set up. I strongly dislike that after write this ten page report, that helps nobody but nobody ever going to read. And it's just going to waste my time. Once I've done this, I moved to the second part, which is how would I think if I would see this differently, if I would actually like this course, it would actually like myself. It would actually think that I'm attractive in a true and honest way, in a way that actually still are relatable to you. You can still write down, I really liked it. I put effort in university. But then I'll also a couple of things that are more adjusted to me actually liking this. I really liked the possible takeaways from this. Then I move to the things that are strongly dislike. I strongly disliked procrastination. I strongly dislike to not take action and just the complaint. I strongly dislike sitting in front of OBC and to constantly complain and learned nothing. And you can write out this list, make it relatable mega towards you. You don't have to fake it, but actually things that you could actually see yourself believing and the fuel right for you. And then you move to being indifferent. I'm indifferent if this takes a couple of hours, I'm indifferent that I have to write this ten page report. So it's slightly different than what you currently are, but in a way that's possible to you. And you can do this method for anything of your possible beliefs, right? I strongly dislike harm around different people. I strongly dislike when people don't invite me. If you think that your current situation, then move to, Hey, how could this look like for a person or me and a couple of years who actually likes myself. Then you do the same for widgets really like what is strongly dislike and what you're indifferent about. If you do this once or a couple of times, there's actually a very nice way to shift your beliefs to something that is more beneficial for you and also more true to our situation actually is. And after trying this method, I think I did it once, maximum twice. I actually shifted my perspective. And we're still aspects it didn't like. But there are also a few I really enjoyed the end that did really well in the course. And then I was like, yeah, you know, I did the best. That will actually something valuable away from this course. 46. Thoughts Mastery Day 3: On to day three, which focus more on how beliefs are built. Instead of busting the ones you already have. And all those insights come from a book called The Four Agreements. So if you think you can still Marcy your thoughts and your beliefs building, I can highly recommend this book to you. It's a bit more spiritually written, but the takeaways are still crucial. And there are four different assumptions that you can make. Two, in the end, build right beliefs for you. The first thing, the first strong belief that you should have is that every word you say, plants a seed of either of greatness, a failure. And we already talked about this in the belief building section that everything you say to yourself or everything that you'll keep visualizing about a certain aspect. Plans a seat. And it's just one seat. But if he planting it in planning and planting it, you build numerous trees, always strong roots based on those beliefs of failure. So if you keep saying to yourself or you suck, people don't like you. Obviously what's going to happen? You're going to put blend all those seats. And things are going to grow. Some things are not going to grow, but in the end is you keep planting, then the chance of something growing from it, something negative in this case is pretty high. And this is crucial to understand that everything you say to yourself, everything that you say to other people isn't the end. Planting something. So it matters what do you think on a daily basis? And the second aspect, that is the second agreement of the book is to make no assumptions. Because if you look at typically how people build those beliefs, right? And you saw this also in the belief busting questions. Is they just make assumptions that are not attractive and people don't like me and keep sticking to us examples, but it can be any belief. And those beliefs are first of all, not true. And not most people like maybe one person told you don't like you, but how many people actually told you, Hey, I don't like you. And this belief is still so strong because you make assumptions of how people treat you in some striking how reality is. Because look at yourself. How many people in your life you strongly dislike positively, you think about and write down all those people that you strongly, strongly dislike. And if you look those people, I'm guessing. The only reason you don't like those people is because I did something against you. They mistreated you. They talked, bind your bag, all those aspects. Then you think about how many people do I strongly like? And it's also just gonna be a very small amount of people, small amount of people. You don't like that. It's something bad actually to you and never apologize, never made up for it. And then a small percentage of people you strongly like, you can certainly support, you can trust on your closest friends. And in the middle, all those people you're mainly indifferent about. And it sounds hires, but as you meet so many people, of course you cannot strongly like everybody and most people who think they can do their thing, they're actually quite nice. But yeah, we just don't fit so well. Some hanging out with just those few people. And for all those people, we think that they don't like you. Guess what? Most of them are actually indifferent unless you made some super bad mistakes. And for those you can still make up too. And we're going to repeat this in the next video. And you having to be liked. But if you look at the agreement here is to stop making assumptions and to challenge them. Maybe you go to the nurse and say, Hey, item freshman that when I did this, you really didn't like it or I had the impression that didn't like me as a person. And it's vulnerable and it's difficult to do this. It's an uncomfortable step, right? That's what we're for in the previous part. We have this discomfort challenge. But this way you challenge the assumption and you notice that most people weren't different. And to make this even more clear, I have Excel worksheet with a couple of questions to fill out. This worksheet is to show you how the first place little people actually think about you, how little they really care, and then how little of those thoughts are negative. And just to guide your tiny bit through the questions. The first key is to realize that if you look at your own life, you mainly focus on yourself, on the things you do, on the close friends and those different view. How often do you actually think about them? Very rarely. So even for your best friend, maybe ten per cent of your time, That's a lot, maybe 5% of your time. You think about your best friend. And then you move to the next question. How often for your best friend that you really like, you think about negative aspects of them and positive. And if you are less accepting, maybe it's a 5050 split or maybe ten per cent of the time you think negatively of them and you feel this again out in Excel aspect. The next question of how many times you think negatively of that person? Does it even matter for them? Is it actually something that's worth fixing? So maybe you can, there's like 50%. If you do this again, for in general, you will notice less than 0.5% of the time. People think of you, then think negatively about you. And that it even matters. Once you understand this. The fear of having always to be liked. Because again down. But more importantly, you notice that all those assumptions are there for nothing. The third agreement is take things personally and that's very related. Families mean to you or they don't listen to you. Don't think, oh, what did I do? What did I say bad? Maybe you're told the wrong story. But then again, people mainly thing about themselves. Maybe this person had a bad day. Maybe this person is mean towards you, but this doesn't say much about you, but more about them. But then often people, they see somebody who's not nice to them. So they make the assumption this person doesn't like me. They take it personally because I think I did something wrong that this person doesn't treat me well. And then the plant, the seed of the day not being liked enough. And that's how most of your beliefs are formed. But if you from the beginning, you stop making assumptions and you check the reality, then you take things in Personally, somebody that does something, it says more about them. Then you also focus a lot on planting right seats. Then you build beliefs that actually are true, that support you and that fitted reality. But if you then also just focus on giving your best, you don't try to go for 100%. You go for 80%. You do your best, you can and do your best in every single aspect of life, then you build the right belief and also judge yourself more accurately. Now I don't have to tell you to keep repeating. I'm great, I'm awesome. But I gave you the general understanding of how great beliefs are formed. And if you keep in mind where it's RCT's take things in personally, stop making assumptions and just give your best. You're going to build beliefs that are very empowering. And you stop holding yourself back. And action step of today because your words matter so much is a no complaining day. The full day, no complaints allowed will be challenging. Maybe have a wristband every time you complain, you put it from the left hand to the right hand. There's actually an action guide from a book called The Economic complaining challenge is actually like a movement. But you for today, just focus on planting or positive words without complaining. 47. Thoughts Mastery Day 4: Okay, so let's pass to believe that you are not liked. It's actually one of the main ones showing up in already touched upon in the last video. But let's make this as complete as possible. So let's start this by looking at how people grow up. And now we have used a little child. And you don't know anything about the world. But what you want is love from your parents. And you don't want them to criticize you or judge you, or say you did something wrong. And what those things are that you get complimented for instead of criticised for the pens on the value system of your parents. So if the main things your parents value is a successful career or successful life, they're going to compliment you for grades and they're going to complain if you don't put effort in school. And if the value honesty a lot, they'll criticize you if you lie. Now, there are so many different parents in this world. And every little child learns different value systems on where they dodge if what people are doing is correct or incorrect. Now if somebody doesn't like you write, let's say they're not miss indifferent category. We're going to talk about a bit later and we've talked about previously. But they actually don't like you, is because they value on something that's completely different than you value yourself and completely different than your best friend values you because we all grew up with different value systems. And then if a kid comes who gets valued for being strong and where weaknesses punished. And a kid where connection and honesty is valued and being unkind is punished, which can be more week, which can be a bit more stepping back for the other person, their value systems to some extent are going to clash. And what can happen is that people don't like you, not because you are doing wrong, but you're doing wrong based on their value systems. And that's why the statement, there's always gonna be bold. Unlike you. They have different preferences. They have different value systems. They see the world differently and they see you differently. Maybe they just met you once, you had a bad day, you didn't make the perfect impression. And I'm not going to like you. But it's not based on reality, but based on their perspective on their value system. So it will always be people who do not like you. Now that being said, there's also the assumption aspect. So we always assume some people like us, some people don't like us. There's always this 5050 split with just a tiny bit of people who are in different. Whereas in reality, there's just 12, maybe three people use strongly, strongly dislike. Most people you indifferent and the same goes for you. So some people you think, oh, they don't like me, I'm not a good storyteller. Know. Maybe they don't like you as much based on their preferences and their value systems. But mainly they indifferent, they may only care about themselves. We already touched upon this in the no assumptions part. And now if you combine those two, so if you stop making assumptions and you know, if somebody doesn't like you as much, at least they think they probably just indifferent. You combine this with the fact that everybody has different value systems, then your fear of not being liked can go down to a very big extent. The aspect is still remaining is actually very valuable because to some extent is very beneficial to care what others think of you. Because it reflects how you treat others and to some extent also reflects what do others think of you and how do they value you? And if now suddenly people treat you, bid less nice and the careless for you, then there's probably something you're doing that's kind of not matching yes, on the value systems. But maybe also not matching your own value systems. Maybe you're focusing too much in your career. You have a low self-worth, so many aspects that you could keep in mind. So some part of eukaryote of things positive. But the remainder, you can cancel with the key takeaways from this video. 48. Thoughts Mastery Day 5: On today five, letting golf comparisons. And one, sorry, that perfectly illustrates the strategy is by the German author Michele lifestyle. And early in his career, he drove to the office and he saw a thing, it was a yellow Ferrari or Lamborghini, just the car that he really, really admired. We looked at his old car, a lot of scratches, not nice-looking, low worth a lot of miles. And every time he drove past that car and in the morning, It just felt bad about themselves. He was very jealous for this person. And overtime it she got to know this person and they became friends. And one day this friend asked him, Hey, you wanna drive my car for one round, who? He was very excited indeed. Finally, he could drive in the car. They always wanted to drive in and legs shaking. You open the door, got into the car, and the first thing you notice what will sitting way too low, almost on the floor. Very uncomfortable. And when you start the car was a crazy feeling. May start driving. A car came close and we got very scared. He kept driving and it was like a little bump, need ***** slow down completely because he didn't want to break the car. Every single mistake could have cost thousands of Euros. Once he came back, sweaty, anxious, relieved, even he handed over the key, thank them for experience. And it was a great experience to a certain extent, but there were also many downsides to it. Once you've gotten his own car, he noticed, Hey, there's so much space I can even eat in here, doesn't even matter if I could just scratch. No problem. Nobody really cares because the car is too old anyways. And the key takeaway from the story is that even though he admires something, often we just look at the benefits and the costs were just bought a person maybe the career. And we'd like to have the same. We would not like to have all the downsides. Would not like to have media publicity, would not like to put all the effort. So for extra step of today, look at a person we typically very jealous or people we typically compare yourself to. Then look as accurately as possible at all the upsides, but also all the downsides, right? It's a cool car, but the downside, it costs more. Scratch matters. People are zealous. It's also a downside. Maybe if you're famous, downsize our media publicity all the effort that went into it. Then there's only two scenarios. On the one hand, if you notice all all those downsides, you can pretty much see, would you be willing to trade your life to achieve this? If the answer is no, well, the comparison agile see, fades away to a big extent. But if there's something, will be very, very, very happy to have new life, new willing to accept the downsides. Well, then this can be motivation for you to actually get there. So look the things accurately and either does matter anymore because you wouldn't trade lives. And if you do, you really have a passion or path, you can follow. 49. Thoughts Mastery Day 6: As you already took a couple of uncomfortable steps in the section, this one is more easy, more shrill, actually pretty nice for you. This is the complement box. So this can be a physical box or it can just be somewhere on your computer, on your phone. But every time somebody gives you a compliment or say something nice, you write a piece of paper, throw it in a box, or writing a document. And every time you feel down about yourself or you feel upset about yourself because you did something wrong or you didn't perform as you want it to, can open a document and you can see all the compliments that people gave you or you just pick out a piece of paper, read the complement. You can actually shift away. The ancient stuff for today. You guessed it is to implement your own complement box. Maybe you can already fill it with a couple of compliments that you remember, or you browse your phone through messages to for compliments that you already received in the past. And every time you see for complement that really matters to you. You put in a box and now you can either take out a piece of paper, open document, to quickly boost your confidence. 50. Thoughts Mastery Day 7: Onto the final day of mastering your thoughts. And this one is about appreciation for others, your expectations. Because the main aspect that you pull yourself down apart from the main takeaway from the words that seats is that you expect too much of yourself. You expect a lot from other people and you expect a lot from life. And it's been okay, right? Expecting of yourself can be nice. But once you expectations become higher than your appreciation, That's where trouble emerges. And you can still expect a lot, but appreciate what you have. Appreciate the 70% where you already are. I appreciate all the good things goes back to gratitude. And once you've mastered this balance, it's very tricky. But you can do it to appreciate more than what you expect. Then by the process, you're going to think more highly of yourself. Think more highly of others, and think more highly of life than you did before. 51. Thoughts Mastery Summary: Now just a quick summary of mastering your thoughts. The first key aspect was the UR, your own judge. You should judge yourself accurately depending on many different aspects. And then we went more into beliefs. That your beliefs, everything you say, everything you think about yourself. Plants a seed, either of greatness, of failure. And you can take out some of the roots by questioning the current beliefs and replacing them by m, by new ones, either through the creation process, automatic scripting method. If you want to build new ones in the future, focus on everything you're saying, think matters, take things in personally, stop making those assumptions are not true, and shift your full mentality of yourself and others. Then we shifted to some of the most common beliefs holding you back. And the first was the fear of not being liked. Then we talked about that every person has a different value system. So if they don't like you, well it's base because the value on something completely different. And maybe they just saw like a tiny snippet of you in one day. So the judgments should not matter as much to you because, well, you just start yourself differently. And if you do mess up, you can make up for it. And for comparison, always think about the expensive car. Yes, it looks nice, but it cost a lot. You're afraid to have scratches. And people also will be jealous of you. See the situation as it is. And either that golf the comparison or use it as motivation. Then we also talked about a quick boost of the complement box. And then in the end, the long-term strategy to always appreciate more than you expect. If you combine all those aspects, not perfectly. 80, 85% is enough. Remember, then you reach a new level of thoughts mastery and also new level of confidence and self-esteem. 52. Section 10: Master Your Feelings: Hi, and welcome to the section on emotional mastery. And just a quick disclaimer is that this is my opinion, at least by far the hardest part to master because it may take months or years or decades to fully master your emotions. Just a quick note on mastery. Mastery doesn't mean perfection. Perfection doesn't exist. Like we tried to get away from this, because even the master has always something to learn. Mastery means 80, 85% where you feel content, where you know, you can still progress, but yeah, Okay, Right. That's what mastery means. But because it's so difficult to master, it's also the aspect that I have mastered myself the least. And the reason I say this is that I want to be really straightforward with you. And to be honest, I don't want to tell you I noticed that let me teach you. I'm pretty sure I have a general idea from everything I've read on where you sit get and how you can get there. I haven't fully gotten there myself. Now, I'll go back to this year-by-year and go through section and see, Hey, have I learned anything new? And if I do, I'll re-record one of those videos or maybe the entire section. That being said, the outline is also a bit different. So there'll be the four parts, which in my opinion, are the four key long-term components of emotional mastery. And I will share everything I currently know about the topic. So there'll be four different videos, each for those four aspects that I think are crucial to master. But before we get started, I linked to a TED talk by Brennan Brown, which is called The Power of Vulnerability. So watch this first and then we'll get started with part one, which is self-compassion. 53. Part 1: Self-Compassion: Okay, Coming to the first part of emotional mastery is this idea of self-compassion. And this idea was introduced by the author Kristin Neff, also one of the books in the flying bookshelf. This self-compassion has two components. On the one hand, it's idea of treating yourself like your own best friend. Rarely talked about this, right? You treat yourself like a road lane assistance. If you get out of line, do warn, maybe you go back and you fix the mistake. But don't be too fixed, too rigid. And the path on how you're supposed to be and how you're supposed to feel. And the second aspect to self-compassion is more on the side. If what happens, if you mess up or something bad happens to you. And that's where self-compassion that comes in. And self-compassion is this idea of unconditional kindness towards yourself. No matter what. If something bad happens, it's crucial to treat yourself with self-compassion. One thing that can really help us, the so-called face technique. The F stands for field of pain or feel the feeling. So really go into your body and be aware of what you're feeling. You see awareness, another component, that's where it all comes together. But the F is just understanding and just feeling the pain within you. You don't even have to think about it. Once you really did this for a couple of seconds, even though the next thing, which is a, except the pain, I'll give you a best to think. This is difficult. But I'm going to accept this. One thing from the book that may help you is to think about the common suffering among all humans. Because no matter what you did or no matter what happened to you, it's very, very likely that there's a couple of thousand people that feel exactly the same or maybe even worse. And even though it's very unfortunate, it can help you to accept feeling and accept the pain and accept the things that you may have done will happen to you once you're able to accept it to some extended list that comes to see, which stands for compassion, unconditional kindness, and support towards yourself in this difficult situation. So it's similar to giving yourself a hug and saying a, this is difficult, but I'm there for you. No matter what. If we made a mistake, We'll fix it. If something happened to you, we'll get over this together. And if you've done this, you can come to E, which is ending the downward spiral. And this an adjustment from the original face technique. But I think those three steps are enough to stop the downward spiral. If something very, very bad happened to you. Take some time off. Take more time to feel the pain, to accept the pain. Treat yourself self-compassion. Maybe talk about it with a friend to really get you through this and take some time and say, a, this is difficult. But no matter how long it takes, I'm there for you and we'll get through this. And if you can treat yourself with so much kindness, then your confidence and self-esteem will just reach the next level, but also more authentic level. Because sometimes bad things happen and sometimes you will mess up. That's part of it. But if you know that you can always count on yourself, all those things can never have as much effect on you as it did previously. Now, that being said, there's a couple of things. If you're in a place that you can do. The first thing, give yourself a hug, and do the face technique. There's also some self-compassion meditation's on YouTube by the author. But what helped best for me at least so far, is always this idea of doing yourself like your own best friend. I know I keep repeating it, but you treat yourself laughter and respect and kindness and the good moments. And if something bad happens, even if your best friend messed up, you will still be there for them. You'll be kind to them. You say you messed up, but it's fixable and I'm there for you. If you have this metaphor in your mind, train yourself like your own best friend. That's the key to muster self-compassion. 54. Part 2: Loving Kindness: Coming to the second part of emotional mastery, loving kindness. This an idea that goes more back to Buddhism or the Dalai Lama. And it's the unconditional kindness note to yourself, right? That's the self-compassion, but the unconditional kindness to others. And this really works well for your own confidence and self-esteem for four reasons. Reason number one, if you accept every person on this planet and if you are kind to every person is planet, well, you part of every person on the planet. So that means that you will also accept yourself and love yourself and treat yourself with kindness just like everybody else. And the second reason why this is so important, maybe even more than the first reason. Instead, once you think highly of yourself and you have a strong body language and you put yourself in the right environment. And you also treat yourself with respect. There's this tendency of high confidence, tipping over and turning into too much self-love or narcissism. Because one of the main goals of this course is better relationships with others. It's so crucial to be loving towards them. And this has many benefits if you think about it. First, other people will like you better. Second, other people will feel a better random and feel better about themselves. But this also puts the attention away from always focusing on your thoughts and your feelings on them. And if you focus more on them, well, guess what? The negative spiral, it doesn't even start because you don't focus on yourself, because you just focus on the other person, you're just there for them. Now, that being said, what can we do to become more loving and kind towards others? Because it's pretty tricky to accept every person out there and takes again, a lot of months, a lot of years even to master this. The first key thing is in general, to start meditating and especially to try loving kindness meditation. So hop on YouTube and try a couple of loving kindness meditations for free. And if you have any other meditation app, they also always have some sections about loving kindness that you can try out. And how does meditation is usually work? Is that you start by focusing on person you really like. And you send them happiness and you say, may you be happy, may you be kind. May you be safe? May you all the positive qualities that you wish that person to have and it would also like to have in your own life. Once you've done this, you go to the next person, or a more neutral width. And again, you sent them kindness and happiness and safety and belonging, everything you would wish them. And this can even be used as a quick boost because they found out in research that if in a situation where you feel very uncomfortable with yourself, okay, you in a group setting, six or seven people, you don't know what to say and you're a bit anxious. What you can do is to quickly go from person to person and send them little segments of loving kindness. So you go to the first-person just quickly in your head, you say, may you be happy, you go to the next, maybe save for the next person. May you be supported? If you do this, you put attention outwards on them. You wish them well. And the anxiety does goes away much better than thinking. The best. I got this, I'm powerful. I will speak very well right now. And what do I want to say again? Yeah, this doesn't really work. And they found this especially works for people with high social anxiety. So that's really nice. Quick stretch, you can try. It's loving kindness on the spot. But it's also a long-term strategy you can practice over time. Even if you don't have the time to do this daily, just notice once you feel bad to hurt yourself or in general backwards others, that this is something you can jump back to to really boost the relationship with them, to help make them feel better, but also to raise your own confidence and self-esteem. 55. Part 3: Raw Emotions: Okay, come into the section on raw emotions and vulnerability. And this is also the reason why I asked you to watch their vulnerability TED talk. If you haven't done so, please go back and quickly watch it. It's not too long. Pretty nice talk by Brene Brown. And this part of emotional mastery is to let yourself feeling the way you are an expressive outward, no matter how difficult. If you're going through a difficult time, letting yourself feel upset and feel down for a couple of days. If you're doing great, then allowing yourself and then a, I deserve to be happy and you can laugh and you can dance. Just bring it a bit outward. Not only bring into good outward, but also the bed and forms of vulnerability. And they're a person that you can really trust to share the difficult emotions you're going through to share a difficult situation and trust. Again, an idea by Brennan Brown is she calls it the marble jar of trust. And her child. In your school, the teacher had a marble jar and every time the class did something great and supportive, She put the marble in there. And every time fellow class members heard each other or criticize them, she took a marble out. And that's also how trust works with other people. Trust builds up over time. You share something in the past about you, and this person supports you, doesn't share it with other people. A marble goes in there. They break your trust. Marble goes out there to full jars broken. And to those people that you can really trust, it's great to open up, to share the weaknesses, to share the things you're afraid about, the share of mistakes you made in the past. Going step-by-step, if it takes time, don't just bring out this vulnerability to anybody who knows true vulnerabilities, only two people who can really trust. And this might happen step-by-step by step-by-step. But if you bring light to the same light to all those negative emotions, you also own the more. And just like Brandon Brown said, Would you rather be yourself or spend your life running away from the negative emotions? Because there's just one of those two options available. If your person is more reserved and less emotionally bubbly like some people are, that's okay. Just tried to bring out a little bit more happiness and saying How you doing, I'm okay, just change this up. Say Hey, I'm doing really good or I have today is not my day. I'm not feeling so well to the people you trust. And it'll just saying, yeah, it's okay, really share it. It's the best you can do. And on the flip side, if you are one of those emotionally bubbly people that feel a grade, sometimes we bring it out and if they feel bad they bring it out, then turns around and focus on the more reserved people listened to them. Go a bit more reserved yourself and show them that they can trust you. Give them reasons that they share the positive and negative with you. And listen deeply. Because like this, you can really support somebody else. 56. Part 4: Enjoying Life: The final section of emotional mastery, which is enjoying life. Because if you're constantly doing something that puts you down in a workplace that you hate or with people that pull you down, right? We've talked about this in the environment section. But doing things you truly enjoy on a daily basis, even if it's just five to ten minutes. This will not only increase your happiness, but in turn also your confidence and your self-esteem. So how can you live a life where you're feeling happy? It's a topic that could take hours, but I'm just going to summarize everything that took way into a few minutes. So the best way to summarize this, in my opinion again, is focusing on the short-term, on the long-term. And the short-term can be anything like experiences quick, simple pleasures. You're going out to a restaurant, meeting people, having fun, going to a party. And this can be different for everybody, but just doing things in the short-term that, you know, hey, I have a lot of pleasure doing them and on the other hand, are things for long-term happiness. This can be pursuing a meaningful career or some projects that really lead to long-term happiness. This is pursuing happiness right now for the long term benefit, which could, for example, could also be exercised. And the key here is balanced. Because if you only do things for the long term success or long-term happiness, if you always push happiness right now for better future, then you're not enjoying every single day. And you build a habit of not enjoying your life. But if you focus only on your short-term happiness. So you eat unhealthy, you party every single day, then guess what? The long-term happiness will be detrimental. So then you have to find a way to balance the two, to balance the short-term happiness and the long-term happiness. So there are many great short-term and long-term things that you can do. But what are the main drivers of short-term and long-term happiness? And starting with long-term happiness, one of the longest running studies of all time. The Harvard men study from the domain driver of a happy life are great relationships, social support. And this was confirmed in many other studies. For instance, another one found that the only thing that the top 10% happy people have in common are great relationships. Focus on this every single day, to give in your relationships, to be there, to wish them well. And then you combine this with short-term boosts of happiness. So things can be Hobbes going out does right, on things that really fulfill you in the short-term, making you happy and you combine those two. It's a very tricky balance, I know, but maybe this idea of short-term and long-term happiness makes us a bit more clear. And you might hear this in every single video about happiness or in general, fulfilled life. Gratitude matters a lot. Now how you do it depends on you because the research argues some say you should do it daily to build a habit than others say you just get used to it. So you should do it only a couple of times per week. But whatever works for you, write down at least a couple of times a week, a few things that you are very grateful for can also be self-gravity towards yourself, like we did this in one of the earlier videos. And the key here is that you don't just write it down, but you actually feel the emotions within you. And if you then also balance the short-term happiness with a long term. And you do things in each category that truly, truly make you happy, at least short-term or long-term based, then you have a pretty good basis for truly enjoying life, being happier, and then also being more confident. 57. Feelings Mastery Summary: Now I know all those videos were more theoretical, less application-based than all my other videos. On the one hand, again, I'm sorry for this, that I haven't reached this emotional mastery myself. But maybe also it's much better this way because emotional mastery can only be achieved by yourself. And if you watch to keep pillars to watch out for, maybe like this, you can build much stronger emotional mastery than if I would have already achieved as myself. We don't know what made. So what are those four pillars again? And what does it mean for quick boosts and long-term strategy? The first key was self-compassion. And that's simply the idea of treating yourself like your own best trend with kindness, with respect, but also keeping yourself accountable if you messing up not too harshly, but just anybody. We can do better. And the quick boost if something bad happens to you or you mess up is the face technique. Sit down for a second, feel the pain. Accepted, treat yourself with compassion, and then stop the downward spiral. The second key aspect we talked about for emotional mastery is loving kindness. Because emotions is not just about us, it's actually mainly about other people. So the practice of wishing others well, of doing kindness to others, of accepting them SAR. And there's also a quick boost for you if in a situation where you feel highly anxious and really if you haven't done so, try it out. There's a small group setting. You feel uncomfortable, just quickly go through the people. You don't have to stare them. You're just like, Hey, I can even look at the people talking and then just focus on one person sitting here a tiny bit and wish them well one-by-one. And you'll notice how your anxiety eases by a whole lot. The third aspect is raw emotions, meaning of letting yourself feel the way you are and if you feeling bad, that's okay. And the short-term boost here is talking to a friend you can highly trust to let go to shame because if you don't share it, no, just creep up in the dark and will be there much longer. And the final aspect, which was enjoying life, where you balanced the short-term and the long-term for highly fulfilled life. If you combine those two, self-compassion, loving kindness, raw emotions, and then also enjoying life. I think you've got some pretty, pretty strong foundations for emotional mastery. See in the next section. 58. Section 11: Master Your Awareness: Alright, and welcome to the awareness section. And this means you already went through the false mastery, the feelings mastery, the physical influence mastery, and the behavior mastery. If you haven't done so, please go back and finish those sections first before coming to this. And otherwise, congratulations, like if you just took 85% of the steps outlined before, That's amazing. And if you do all the steps and you keep doing them in the future, this will be completely transformational for your self-esteem and confidence. Now in this video, I want to quickly talk again about your awareness and the two aspects. The first, if you do notice low self-esteem, low confidence, pause for a second, give yourself self-compassion, and then try to understand where does it come from. Maybe it's a difficult situation that in general you feel this way. Maybe you're thinking of his selfless highly. You expect more than you appreciate what you planned wrong seats. And maybe it's due to your feelings or do do physical influences your posture all to previous behavior. And once you understand where the problem lies, you can also adjust, maybe even give yourself a quick little boost. No, exactly. Hey, what's holding me back? And the second aspect is where we talked about the first awareness section is to understand yourself as much as possible. Then accepted. Because maybe you'll always be a bit more afraid of not being liked or being rejected. Or maybe in general, you may introverted, and it's tricky in those situations. And that's okay. You understand yourself better and you accepted it. Maybe it's changed in a few years, but as of right now, yeah. Okay. And to help this process, please go back to the previous awareness section. Understand who you are in all its shapes and all the strength and all the weaknesses. And then aim to accept if more than previously. Once you've done this, we can go to the final section of this course where this is a quick summary, but then ultimately just a big, big congratulations for you going through this full course and taking action to transform you. 59. Complete Summary of Course!: Onto the final section of this course. And even though I have the same T-shirt like introduction, I'm sure if you took all the action steps that this course has the potential to completely change your confidence and your self-esteem. And there was a whole much we covered in this video. I tried to summarize the ten main long-term strategies for ultimate confidence self-esteem. Because yes, a lot of shifted. But you can even get more rigid, more strong in all the different subcategories. But this requires time and then clear understanding of what to aim for. And that's what this video is for. Now, Started with your environment. And then we learn to put yourself in the right environment, right friend group, depending of an introvert or extrovert in environment that's very stimulating or less. Also to keep your room clean, your house clean, to really control as you can and accept what you can. And also to understand that there will always be situations and environments. There's UV slightly uncomfortable in and your confidence momentarily might go a bit more down. But it's okay. Understanding will stop the momentum from rolling because you know, k, So situation, we got this, but to make sure that you are less affected by uncomfortable situations, the behavior section really focused on like a bodybuilder putting your reps and to get used to the uncomfortable situations and be okay in them. And more than that, not only did you train to be okay in uncomfortable situations, but you also learned to be radically authentic to stop the constant over thinking, what should I do? How should I feel? What should I say? And simply being, simply being yourself and being okay to reject it and to be okay in uncomfortable situations because of your authenticity. But even if there's a situation where something doesn't go as well. We learned in the feeding section, treat yourself like your own best friend by giving yourself self-compassion. The face sickening, feeling the pain, accepting it, giving yourself compassion. And then ending the downward spiral. And this will only on a negative situations, but also if you step out of line with kindness and respect, you say, Hey buddy, we can do better than this. We didn't just focus on ourselves and the feeding section. We also focused on other people because we don't want to be the narcissist, only focusing our self-confidence. We want to give this and shared with other people and loving kindness meditation. But just in general understanding to give more interrelationships, you now have a higher level of authentic confidence, self-esteem. So you can stop taking attention, taking listening time and giving attention, giving appreciation, and giving support to other people. Then we also in-depth covered the physical influences. And for physical influences, there are also two key long-term storage to watch out for. The first aspect is to treat your body for what it's worth. Because your hands and your eyes and you're hearing and you're tasting and smelling, and the moving of your body. It's all priceless but expensive things around us. Things we value for its worth and money. We sometimes treat so much better than ourselves, even though we're worth so much more. So give yourself the right fuel through the good foods and exercise property. Next to this, also give yourself the vesicle acceptance you deserve. We've talked about sourness and the naked challenge and looking at everything that your body is giving yourself to accept it. And saying this is so crucial as we learned in the third section. Because every word you use, either to yourself or others, either pending seeds of greatness or seeds of failure. So it really matters what you say, but also your perception matters there. The key long-term strategy is to appreciate more than you expect. Because let's say you had seventy-five percent of your desired goal. And it's okay to expect more and strive for more. If you are 70% there and twenty-five percent note, you should also appreciate three times as much as you expect. Because otherwise there's always more to strive for. But without appreciating where you already are, you just stumble and lose happiness along the way. Then finally, we talked about the awareness. Not only the awareness of how all this comes together, but also awareness of yourself. Because in German, confidence and self-esteem means self-understanding, self-awareness. So understand your strength, understand your weaknesses, understand situations that you're comfortable in and less the standard. Sometimes you want to be liked, understand all those aspects of who you are. And then maybe you can note on the accept who you are. But even like who you are. And once you reach all those aspects and you keep focusing on them reaching 80, 85%, your confidence and self-esteem will never be the same. Now, we didn't only learn about long-term strategies, but we also learned a lot of QuickBooks. And that's why after this lecture, there is a text document summarizing all the quick boost from physical influences, behavior, feelings, thoughts, awareness, environment. You can quickly implement to boost your confidence when you need it. 60. Congratulations!!! : Congratulations, I'm so proud of you as you went through this full course, took all those uncomfortable action steps. But more importantly, you can be very proud of yourself or getting here. But words cannot really describe all the things you went through. So now for the final, final ancient stave off discord. Take time to celebrate yourself. Take time to treat yourself in some way because you did all those uncomfortable steps. And it can be really, really incredibly proud of yourself. And I'm so grateful that you trusted me to guide you through this process. And I really hope that this was transformational.