The Complete Goal Setting and Goal Achievement Master Class

1. Introduction to the Course: What do tennis greats, federer, Nadal marine joke of edge have to do with personal productivity, goal setting and achievement. Well, it's all about their expert follow through. They finished their swings and they work smarter, not harder. My name is Jason T tick. I'm a YouTuber, author, trainer of trainers, business coach, and the founder of rule of Rome. As an educator, I'm committed to your learning. And as with all of my businesses, I've set out to level the playing field of learning. The way the world is going. Personal productivity is becoming more and more important. And I can teach you how to get and stay productive. They say it's the busy people that get things done. If you want to get things done, ask a busy person, will in this program, I help you capture your best ideas and make them reality. You'll gain the confidence to do the important things in stopping a slave. To unproductivity. The secret sauce. Great systems to guarantee your follow through to make things happen and to lead your most productive life. Early in my training career, I worked for a very successful tech company called epic. Epic has a wonderfully productive, not so secret philosophy that bucks the trend of the bullpen style. Shove everyone in a football sized spot with desks here, Nair and office spaces of Facebook and the like. Do you want to know what they did? By the way, it's a proven process to increase productivity by 40 percent and I loved it. And it's 385 acre campus. They provided private offices. Yes. You get a door for all staff, a choice that's designed to support the laser focused work practices. This is an example of the type of strategies you'll find in this program. Strategies that work but aren't what everyone and their brother is doing or is thought of. This program is for anyone looking to eliminate. Procrastination, though is just beginning to embrace a culture of getting things done. And seasoned pros. Have you heard this myth? I don't need goals. I really hope I don't achieve this goal. Said no one ever. There's a big difference between a goal and a wish or a dream. You can wish for a million dollars or dream of being your own boss. But goals, our way the dreams meet reality. Wishing is much easier. Pie in the sky nature of it all makes it feel less on complicated, more fun. But in many ways, setting goals and going after them. It seemed convenient. Destination, on the other hand, feels good. It's much more comfortable to sit back and install or promised to get to it soon. Although it might feel better, it actually makes things worse. This course is for you. If you're ready to switch gears. This program is for anyone that's excited to pursue what they want to become in business and life, or all the above. Here's what you'll get. Get working on your life, not just in IT. Learned the art of yeses and nos make mental shifts that you've wanted to make for years. Do what you say you'll do. Overcome procrastination and build follow through with systems that you'll love. Feel productive every day, get back energy lost to things slipping through the cracks or just feeling like they will avoid the burnout of auto pilot. Discover how to build finish lines in cross them. The covers, everything you need to run your own race, best version of yourself to thrive with your life, not just survive. To catapult your life. The places you never dream to live out your true worth into use your success to bring success to others. In this program, we take a goal for what it is. In its simplest form, a goal is a plan to move you from point a to point B where you wanna go. Without goals, there's no growth. Or worse, you're not shaping your choices, which are just letting others, their goals shape your life, likely without taking your needs into account. I created this goal-setting system's achievement system for you to strategically meet those needs and take those dreams and wishes and make the math. Learn these whip smart ideas in personal productivity systems, and get yourself to the top of your game. By working smarter with these proven winner strategies. Wake up, energized for your data model. Let's get going. 2. Run Your Own Race with the Best Version of Yourself: I'm going to show you how to run your own race with the best version of yourself by setting meaningful goals for your life. Take a moment right now and think about your most amazing future. Think about three years from now, one year from now, three months from now, and one week from now. Looking backwards from that day, what has to happen for you to feel good about your progress? There's energy in that question. It gets you thinking about what it is you want by the end of the year, end of the week, or end of the day. The word progress can be applied to multiple topics. Do your own health, your own finances, your life, your own relationships, and the right level of activity in your life or your business. Challenge yourself with this question. What has to happen to feel good about my progress? Then the action steps will start to identify themselves. What is a goal? A goal is a vision. A vision defining what you're trying to accomplish via a set period of time. Many people asked goal-setting questions of others, but forget to apply those same techniques to their own life or business. Setting. Meaningful goals is all about running your own race rather than trying to run another person's race. You can't succeed by trying to run another person's race that's competing against others. And it doesn't work as well, is if you compete against yourself, you need to run your own race by competing against the best version of you. And this session is all about learning new envision the best version of yourself, and then setting goals to achieve it. You can start by identifying the behaviors and activities that you'll do on a monthly, weekly, daily, and even hourly basis that ensures you'll have the opportunity to come back and do this life tomorrow. And if you don't do those things, you're putting yourself on a trajectory right out of the race. So how do you set meaningful goals? I'm going to show you 10 steps to set meaningful goals and make those goals your own. In this session, step 0, which is optional by the way, is to create your bucket list. Step one, you'll learn how to create your mission statement for your life. Step 2, you're going to learn how to create your 10-year vision for your life in step 3 will build your principles or values for your life. Step four, we're going to help you identify your strengths for achieving those goals. Step 5, you'll select your target market for your goal. Step 6 will create your life or business process. Step 7, we'll set up your three-year picture or three year goals for your life. Step eight, you're going to determine your one-year commitment to those goals. Step 9, we'll set up your quarterly building blocks to ensure you succeed. And step 10, you'll learn how to describe your Plainfield reality, opportunities and challenges for achieving your goals. 3. Make Your Goals Your Own: Let's get started with how to make your goals your own. Do you have an action plan for your life? Many people create a life plan or business plan or relationship plan or a health plan. And then they discover years later, they've never stuck to it. Either the plan was too large in scope, leaving it on attainable, or it wasn't practical enough to be actionable and useful in their life. You're about to learn a short and sweet ten step recipe to create a goal plan that will help you set meaningful goals and achieve them. You're either a meaningful specific or a wandering generality. Which one are you? The energy is really in the meaningful specific space. And to get to that space, you need to think about what it is you want and why it is that you wanted. Your thoughts ultimately end up in your actions. Think of factors influencing your thoughts. Coding the people you hang around, the stuff you listened to, the books you read. And creating an action plan will help you identify and harness the core of your life and who you are as a person. And this will allow you to have razor sharp focus on the things that are meaningful, the things which make you happier, more successful, freedom in your life. By the way, as you're working your way through this session on setting meaningful goals for your life. It's important to get your family hand or your colleagues or team involved in this process. Whether it be your spouse, your kids, your staff, your team, involve them in your goals by saying, Hey, if we do these things or reach this goal, we're going to go into ans vacation, or we're going to do this addition, or we're going to get this new house or whatever it is, get your family and staff involved. Life is too hard to play it solo. Now I'm going to start by just giving you an overview of what this process looks like. And then during the course of this session, I'm going to give you specific tools, each and every one of the steps in this session on your own. In fact, you're going to get one-on-one coaching from me in inactivity on exactly how to apply the examples you're about to see in your life. For now. Just sit back and watch as I take you on a tour of the examples for this session with one of my clients, then I'm going to share with you the exact steps in the exact resources that you need to run your own race with the best version of yourself by setting meaningful goals for your life. 4. Create Your Bucket List: Step 0 creates your bucket list. The very first step is to create your life bucket list. I call this step 0 because it's optional for this chapter. With that said, one of the most inspiring thing to me when I first started in my business was to write down 100 things I wanted to do before I die. Now prior to this moment in my life, I had never thought about those things before. Before this day was all about just showing up and seen what happened that day. The wandering generality. It's not about what your best friend wants to do before he dies. It's about what you wanna do before you die. As soon as you write down your top 100 things, your actions will start to become meaningful and specific. By the way, doesn't have to be a 100 up to a 100. The amazing thing about the universe is that you better be careful what you ask for because your subconscious mind will create that reality. Doing this bucket list first will serve as fodder for you as you go through the next ten steps, making your goals you round. It's a great exercise to get you thinking and dreaming. And the reason we call it step 0 is because we find it opens the mind and do the other steps coming up. If you'd like to do this now, stop the video and write down the up to 100 things you wanna do before you die. If you would prefer to keep the tape rolling, that's fine. You can create your bucket list anytime. 5. Create Your Mission Statement: Step 1, create your mission statement. What is your why? Why are you even getting out of bed in the morning? What's your why for doing anything? What do you even showing up for? You? You've got to be in touch with your why do you really need to be in touch with that? Why? In order to make the how more doable? Otherwise, there's really no energy behind the actions you need to take to do the things you need to do. If you don't know where the actions are going to lead you. Here's an example of a mission statement from one of my clients. I will use my compassion, generosity, and persistence to connect with, create awareness for and inspire carrying leaders and professionals to align their strategies, tactics, and tools today with their vision and goals for a full life tomorrow. Now you're gonna get a chance to build your very own mission statement in the activity at the end of this chapter overview. For now, just follow along with the big picture so you can see how it all looks from a bird's eye view. 6. Create Your Ten Year Vision: Step 2, create your 10-year vision. And a 10-year vision gives you the image of what you want your life to look like 10 years from now. Your 10-year vision needs to be absolutely different from the person sitting next to you. What joy is there and just running somebody else's version of your life. You'll learn how to create your own vision later on in this lesson. The 10-year vision consists of six parts. Revenue and profitability. What do you bring it in the door and what are you taking home? Ten years from now. Team makeup. How many people are on your team or in your life, or in your business, or in your relationships, or in your family 10 years from now, education and expertise. What would you like your skill set to look like 10 years from now? Ideal client who's showing up in your calendar when you go to work each day. Ten years from now. Service model, what are your clients, team members, or family going to experience when they integrate with you or your business or your life ten years from now. And life role integration, what are the things from your bucket list that you're enjoying in your life as you achieve your goals ten years from now. Here's an example of a 10-year vision from one of my clients. You're gonna get a chance in the activity for this session to build your own 10-year vision using the tools I will share with you then. 7. Create Your Principles: Step three, create your principles. You've got your mission, you've got your vision. How are you going to identify who you are on your journey? How are you going to execute or accomplish your vision or realize your mission? The answer is to create your principles. What are the principles or values underpinning your vision for the future? Your principles of the five to seven words that capture the essence of who you will be on your journey. They'll help you execute your vision. Here's an example of a list of principles from one of my clients. Be the best I can be. Mission focused, authentic, fun, the law of giving and receiving. 8. Identify Your Strengths: Step 4, identify your strengths. When your actions are in alignment with your strengths, magic happens and that magic will put you on the right trajectory to your most amazing future, including the 10-year vision you're trying to accomplish. Your strengths are those things that make you feel powerful and energized. Strengths give your life flow. And that's where it's almost always at when you don't have to work to do them. Strengths are things you're good at and enjoy doing. And knowing them as a critical next step in your business action plan or life. They can help you align that plan with the best version of yourself. Now you can determine your strengths by completing this sentence. I feel powerful, energized and inflow when I want. Here's some examples of how this could look. 9. Select Your Target Market: Step 5, select your target market. Now if you're in business or life, this step will apply when you create your 10-year vision. And step 3, you already wrote down your ideal client, your income, your assets, but that might not be enough. What is it about these people you're with that make you excited to have to show up on your calendar. It's great that they have certain income or bringing a certain number of assets or whatever else you do for your business. But what else makes them special? What kind of people truly boost your energy when you work with them? Now you can determine your target market by completing this sentence. I get energy out of working with people who blank. Here's an example that have high integrity are carrying people and professionals value the partnership in value that I provide. 10. Create Your Business or Life Process: Step 6, create your life process. Now if you're in business, this step will be your business process, future life, what toolboxes you're going to bring to your business or your life. How are you going to do what it is that you do? Your life or business process represents the proprietary steps yield take to ensure you provide the most value and deliver the best process and product to your target audience. Here's an example of a business process for somebody who sees multiple prospects and clients throughout each week. He said be referred and then set the appointment and do the approach with consistent and practiced language. Perform the first sales meeting, introduce the meeting with a commitment in a prioritization. Take good notes and delegate tasks to my team as necessary. Apply appropriate planning tools, review the plan and tweak it, close the meeting, be careful of giving too many options. Prospect. Q social awareness opportunities. 11. Create Your Three Year Goals: Step 7, create your three-year goals. It's time to bring your 10-year vision closer to you. If you're on your life journey with a clear mission in you're reaching your three year goals. Well then that puts you in alignment with your 10-year vision we talked about earlier. The key is to set realistic stretch goals. Remember the introduction to this chapter, you're not running somebody else's race. You want your three year goals to be your stretch goals for you. On many people make the mistake here when setting their three-year goals is setting the bar too high. They can't possibly achieve it, or too low, they don't push themselves to greatness. The key is to set goals that are achievable, yet still push you to grow. Three-year stretch goals are goals that are just outside of your grasp at this point. Creates stretch goals. Start by breaking your 10-year goals down to where you are at right now. If you just kept doing what you're doing right now, where will you be three years from now? Then? Ask yourself, what's something just outside of my reach? Something beyond what I'm currently doing. And the answer to that question will be the beginning of a realistic stretch goal. The same metrics apply for your three year goals as they did for your 10-year vision. You can tweak these metrics based on your business or your life. Here's an example of three year goals for the client. We looked at earlier. Revenue and profitability, 200000 in revenue, a 125 thousand and profitability, team makeup, just Keith and a mini me, education and experience, two new certifications. Ideal client, $7 thousand a year carrying positive and energizing service model, comprehensive, balanced red carpet treatment, life role integration, optimum health, one vacation every year, charities time with kids, time in meditation. You'll have different ones, but that's his. 12. Create Your One Year Commitment: Step eight, create your one-year commitment for you to be where you want to be in three years. What has to happen in one year for you to feel good about your progress? The answer to that question for you is your one-year commitment. And just like the 10-year vision and three year goals, the one-year commitment is described using the same six categories. Take a look at the example of the one year commitment. Revenue and profitability. 100 thousand revenue, 60 thousand in profit, team makeup, just half mini me, education and expertise. One certification, ideal client 5000 year carrying positive energizing service model, comprehensive, balanced red carpet treatment, life role integration, optimum health one vacation every year, charities time with kids, time in meditation. That's the client's example. Again, we'll create yours in just a moment. 13. Set Up Your Quarterly Building Blocks: Step nine, set up your quarterly building blocks. Now the quarterly building blocks are three commitments that if you completed these will put you in line with your one year commitment that we just talked about. Your quarterly building blocks can focus on any of the pieces to your one-year commitment. Take a look at the three commitments that the person, the client that we're talking about chose for this quarter to get himself in line with his one-year commitments, health and vitality, attend to the gym three times a week for the entire quarter and post food intake on apps. Way to a 115 pounds so that my suits we'll button and I can feel comfortable. 5, 4, 3 will become a habit for my business and the quality and consistency of the program will be flowing. I'll feel powerful, energized and inflow. Key research will be completed. I May not have interest in this certification right away, but I'll complete the course. 14. Describe Your Playing Field Reality: Step ten, describe your Plainfield reality. The last step is to set up your Plainfield reality, which represents the challenges and opportunities you have right now to achieve your goals and visions. What current challenges or issues are you facing right now that are getting in the way of achieving your goals? What current opportunities do you have right now? They can help you achieve your goals. For example, you may be surrounded by many people in the business world that you've never talked to about what you do. Maybe people you consider friends and you know them well. And because of that, you may have decided to add social prospecting to your business opportunities. Here are some examples that my client shared of current opportunities that make up a plain field reality. Social prospecting, close the gap. All in quote to be my best release inner goal achiever, find a marketing person for my business. Find a mini me, consistency of rituals and calendar of success. Reviewing my MVP, we'll talk about that more in this program and my goals quarterly. Here are some examples of current challenges that my client had that make up his Plainfield reality. Fear of full engagement, protecting myself from various things. Lack of motivation feeds me. Lack of all in mentality. 15. Activity: Create Your Bucket List: The first step in this activity is step 0, and it's called that because it's optional. You don't have to do it to start the activity. But if you have some time right now, it can be a really cool thing to do. Your task is simple, right down, up to a 100 things you wanna do before you die. Whether you create your bucket list or not, that's up to you, but makes sure you join us for step one. 16. Activity: Create Your Mission Statement: Step 1, create your mission statement using the word columns that we're going to share with you either in the workbook around the screen, fill out your mission statement with principals, true to you sound something like this. I will use the following gifts. And I will, to impact in these three ways, to impact in these three ways, this subject or subjects, and to impact in one to three ways, the objects of those subjects. Now you might be thinking, why would he talking about, well, here's an example of a mission statement that one of my clients, Joe, came up with and I'll show you how to do yours here in just a second. Here's just, I will use my fascination, empathy and courage. Courageous, self-expression, I should say, to awaken, inspire and equip leaders to clearly envision, passionately create, enthusiastically celebrate living lives of purpose. Now the way to figure out your own mission statement is to action is actually quite simple and a lot of fun. I've created a table for you to use to figure this out. You'll notice this table has five column headers. Gifts impact one subject, impact to an object. What you're gonna do is to look at each column and select one to three words. Three is the maximum per column. That best describe you and your mission. Let me show you what I mean. Let's start with the first column. Your gifts. Look at the table and choose one to three gifts that best describe you. And once you have those one to three gifts, write them down. For example, Joe chose the gifts of fascination, empathy, and courageous self-expression. Next, take a look at the third column titled subject. Choose one to three words in this column that best describe the types of people. Entities are things that you most want to impact with your life or career. Once you have those three subjects, write them down. In our example, Joe chose just one subject, leaders. Now, take a look at the second column titled impact one. Choose one to three verbs from this column that best describe the action. That best describes a way you impact the subjects you chose in column three. In our example, Joe chose three impact one verbs, awaken, inspire, and equip. Next, take a look at the fifth column called object. Here you'll choose one to three objects that describe the attributes that you would like to impact from the subjects you chose earlier. For example, remember how Joe chose a subject of leaders? Well, what are the objects of those leaders that Joe wanted to impact? In Joe's case, he chose the object called lives of purpose. That's the thing about the leaders that Joe wanted to impact. Lives of purpose. Finally, look at the fourth column called impact to choose one to three verbs from this column that best describe the way you would like to impact the object's you chose in column five. In our example, Joe chose three impact to verbs, envision, create, and celebrate. Now it's time to put all your work for your mission statement together. Remember, here's what the blank mission statement looks like. You're simply going to insert all the words you came up with into those blanks when you're done and you may need to pause the video obviously to do this. It looks like this. 17. Activity: Create Your Ten Year Vision: Step 2, create your 10-year vision. One of the most powerful and underutilized tools we have for propelling our lives forward is a compelling vision. These visions, when optimized, involve all our senses and engage our emotions. And the objective is to tap into an amplifier deepest desires, which in turn, release a constant flow of energy to empower our actions forward. It's time for you to describe your 10-year vision in extreme detail. Consider these areas, personal, professional, financial, spiritual, physical, mental, relationships, and the questions you need to answer as you hear these questions I'm about to share with you. Take a moment, pause the video if you need to write down the answers to these in the activity to this session that best correspond to your vision of your most amazing future. Let's start with revenue and profitability. How much money are you bringing in the door ten years from now? That's your revenue per year. And what do you take it home ten years from now, that's your profit per year. Write those numbers down in step two of the activity. Next, think about your team, your family, how many people are on your team and your career life that you have ten years from now, this could be employees that you work with team members. Do you have hired members of your family or friends network that are a part of you achieving this vision. Write down any or all of these people now. Next, let's look at your education and expertise. What would you like your skill set to look like 10 years from now? What certifications, courses, degrees, or books, what you have read, achieved, or realized? Write those down. Next. Think back to the subject you wrote earlier and your mission statement. Who is that person? Perhaps it's an ideal client. Perhaps it's someone or something else, either way, who's showing up on your calendar when you go to work each day, ten years from now. Next, look at your service model. Who are your clients? What are your clients, team or family go to experience when they integrate with you? 10 years from now. How will you service them? Write down what that looks like. Finally, let's take a look at your life role integration. How will you achieve your personal integration so you can enjoy your life career relationships more. Do you remember that bucket lists from step 0? This is that portion of the bucket list that you'll have done within the next 10 years. Go ahead and write that down now. 18. Activity: Create Your Principles: Step three, create your principles. Are principles are the ethical guideposts we plant that help us make decisions in alignment with our best selves. Now in the following exercise activity, we're going to discuss and identify three different types of values or principles. And if you understand these and can identify them, first of all, it's challenging, but it's an incredibly important since your values are who you are and who you aspire to be. And by becoming aware of your values, you can better use the measure energy ps to guide you to make better decisions and live your best life. Now there are three kinds of principles. The first is your core values. There's a huge universe of positive principles that may be present in our lives, but only a few that are key differentiating factors that separate us from other people. And these are known as our core values and they're ingrained in our lives. They define who we are when we're at our best. Take a look at the principle word table in step three of this activity and on the screen right now, identify and then prioritize three to five values from this principle word table that you feel are your core values. Pause the video if you need to in order to identify your three core values or principles from this table. The second kind of principles are what I call pay to play values. And there are other values that we may exemplify, but they don't necessarily differentiate us from others. These values are more commonly held and will be known as your pay to play values because without them, ultimately, success at the level you desire to live is unsustainable. Take a look at the principle word table in step three of this activity and on the screen now, the third kind actually are aspirational values. And these values are not innate, but principles that you seek to incorporate into your life, that you aspire to have them, but you may not fully embrace them yet. Take a look at the principle word table in step three of this activity. On this screen. Identify three to five values from the principal word table that you feel are aspirational values. 19. Activity: Identify Your Strengths: Step 4, identify your strengths. Research shows that the majority of people do not make full use of their talents and gifts and their careers in life. In fact, only a third of people believe they use all their strengths at work and are contributing to their organizations in a positive manner. While these exercises are to clarify exactly what your strengths and weaknesses are, to help you inventory how much time you're spending doing those things that make you feel strong and give your performance and edge. People who use their strengths at work and life are more inclined to be engaged in function at superior levels. Discovering how to lead with your strengths will help you set an example for others, and will also help you attain your maximum potential as a leader in your organization and in life. You can find your strengths and weaknesses by completing the following sense. I feel strong, energized and effective when i, and you'd come up with three to four strings for yourself. When you do examine your strengths statements and identify specific steps you can take to move in the direction of utilizing your strengths. Use what you've learned from the statements you've just made to identify opportunities within your organization or life or business where you can utilize your talents that make you feel strong and powerful and allow you to make a greater contribution. 20. Activity: Select Your Target Market and Create your Business Process: Step 5, select your target market. What kind of people truly boost your energy when you work with them? I get energy out of working with people who what you can come up with, up to three types of people you like to work with, either in your career, business for life. Step 6, create your business or life process. What toolbox you going to bring to your life, career or business? How are you going to do what it is that you do? Your process represents the proprietary steps you will take to ensure that you provide the most value and deliver the best process and product to your target audience. So what is your process? Write it down in step six of this activity. 21. Activity: Create Your Three Year Goals: Step seven creates your three year goals. It's time to bring your 10-year vision closer to you. Now if you're on your life journey with a clear mission and you're reaching your three year goals, then that puts you in alignment with your 10-year vision we talked about earlier. To create stretch goals. Start by breaking your 10-year goals down to where you are right now. If you just keep doing what you're doing, where will you be three years from now? Then? What's a goal just outside of your reach, just beyond what you're currently doing. The answer to that question will be the beginning of a realistic stretch goal. Describe your three year goals using the steps on the screen. Let's start with revenue and profitability. How much money are you bringing in the door three years from now, that's your revenue per year. And what are you taking home three years from now? That's your profit per year. Write those numbers down in step 7 to the activity. Next. Think about your team makeup or family makeup. How many people are on your team in your career or life and your family that you have three years from now. This could be employees who work with team members you've hired, or members of your family or friends network that are a part of you achieving this vision. Write down any or all of those people now, next, look at your education and expertise. What would you like your skill set to look like three years from now? What certifications, courses, degrees, or books where you've read, achieved or have realized. Write those down. Next. Think back to the subject you wrote earlier and your mission statement. Who is that person or people? Perhaps it's an ideal client, perhaps it's someone or something else, either way. Who's showing up in your calendar when you go to work or live your life each day. Three here. So now next, let's look at your service model. What are your clients or your team or your family going to experience when they integrate with you three years from now? How will you service them? Write down what that looks like. Finally, let's take a look at your life role integration. How will you achieve whole-person integration so you can enjoy your life, your career, your relationships more. Do you remember the bucket list from Step 0? Well, this is that portion of the bucket list that you'll have done within the next three years. Go ahead and write that down now. 22. Activity: Create Your One Year Commitment: Step eight, create your one-year commitment for you to be on target for your three year goals that you just created. What has to happen in one year for you to be feel good about your progress. The answer to that question for you is determined by your one-year commitment. Describe your one-year commitment using the steps on the screen. Let's start with your revenue and profitability. How much money are you bringing in the door one year from now? That's your revenue per year. And what are you taking home one year from now? That's your profit per year. Write those numbers down in step 8 of the activity. Next. Think about your team makeup. How many people are on your team or in your family and your career or life that you have one year from now. Again, this could be your employees, you work with your team members, you've hired members of your own family or friend networks one year from now, write down any or all of those people now. Next, look at your education and expertise. Well, would you like your skill set to look like one year from now? What certifications, courses, degrees, or books will you have read or achieved or realized one year from now? Write those down. Next. Think back to the subject you wrote in your mission statement. Who is that person? Maybe it's an ideal client, read someone else. Perhaps it's something else. Another way. Who's showing up in your calendar in your life? You go to work or you're with your family each day when you live your life one year from now. Now let's look at your service model. What are your clients, team members, or families are going to experience when they integrate with you one year from now. How will you service them? Write down what that looks like. Finally, let's take a look at your life role integration. One year from now. How will you achieve whole-person integration so you can enjoy your life one year from now. Remember the bucket list from stub 0. This is that part of the bucket list that you will have achieved are done in the next year. Go ahead and write that down now. 23. Activity: Create Your Quarterly Building Blocks: Step nine, set up your quarterly building blocks. The quarterly building blocks are three commitments you aim to accomplish in the short-term, IE, the next three months. If you do them this quarter, they'll put you on line with your one-year commitment. Your quarterly building blocks can focus on any of the pieces from your one-year commitment that we discussed earlier. Pause this video if you need to and write down the one to three commitments you're willing and able to make over the next quarter, three months through which your organization or your life will make forward progress. Really think about these as these are big for you. These are your goals that you'll be setting over the next three months. We've gotten there. 24. Activity: Describe Your Playing Field Reality: Step ten, describe your Plainfield reality. The final step, your Plainfield reality represents the challenges and opportunities you have right now on your path to achieving your goals and vision. What are your current challenges or issues that are getting in the way of achieving your goals. Pause this video if you need to and write down the one to five current challenges or issues that are getting in the way of you achieving your goals. Then when you're ready to think about this, what are your current opportunities that can help you achieve your goals? Again, pause the video if you need to, and write down a one to five current opportunities that can help you achieve your goals. Congratulations. If you've done all 10 steps from the activity in this chapter and you'll have to pause it to do it. You've taken the first huge leap toward running your own race by competing against the best version of yourself. You've learned how to create the best version of yourself and then set goals to achieve it Those year quarterly building blocks, your one and threes, and you can now identify the behaviors and activities you'll do on a monthly, weekly, daily, and even hourly basis that ensure you've got the opportunities to come back and do this life or business tomorrow. Great job. See you in the next session. 25. Build Momentum to Make Great Things Happen: I'm going to show you how you can build momentum to make great things happen in your life by leveraging your focus to achieve your goals. Ask yourself, have I said enough goals at a high enough level and achieved them to make them real. The honest answer to this will put your journey to achieve your vision into reality seat, when you can answer a yes, that achieving your goals becomes a journey, not a destination in and of itself. Consistent goal achievement requires a mental transition from perceiving the label of goals as an achievement to recognizing it as just what it is a label. Many people perceived goals as a destination and accomplishment, the result of doing some stuff that gets you accolades and rewards. This is hollow. The achievement mindset might initially put jet fuel into your career, but it'll be temporary. Lasting motivation comes from the realization that it is not all about the ribbon. First and foremost, achieving goals is about your impact on others. The number one thing that you'll have to sacrifice to be great del, to achieve what you're capable of and to execute your plan. Is your comfort. The secret to living your life to its full potential. His devalue the important stuff above your own comfort. If goals are about impact, not the classification, production or ribbon. Well then you have to look at the activities you need to be doing. That will align you with the longer-term vision of your goals. You will have to get uncomfortable. There is no comfort in the growth zone. There's no growth in the comfort zone. And that is never more true than when working with goals in mind. You need to be more motivated by the vision of what you're doing for others, then you are by your own comforts and discomfort. The critical step is creating and maintaining a compelling vision of the future that you want even more than you desire your own short term comfort, then you must align your short-term goals and plans. With that long-term vision. You've got to find a vision for your future that you're emotionally connected to. And the more compelling your vision is, the more likely it is that you'll act upon it. It's your personal vision that creates an emotional connection to the daily actions that you need to take place in your business or your career, or your life. If you're not purposeful about how you spend your time, then you leave your results to chance. You don't satisfy the various demands of the day as they're presented. Like responding without giving much thought to the value of the activity. That is a reactive approach in which the day is controlling you. Giving away the reins on your day prevents you from performing at your best, living up to your vision and making the greatest impact that you can. And once you have a vision that creates impact or you have something to focus on. In this session, I'm going to show you three ways to leverage your focus to achieve your goals. First, you'll learn how to stay focused to your vision, to your visions improvement, and to the score of your vision. Next, you'll learn how to stay focused on your day, on your time and on your goals. And finally, I'll show you how to leverage others to stay focused. In other words, you're going to learn how to stay focused on your goals everywhere and anywhere in your life. 26. Stay Focused to Your Vision, Improvement and Score: To stay focused to your vision, improvement in score. That's where we're going to start in a program centered on workplace achievement. Why would our first topic start outside of work? But because your vision is most powerful when it's developed in light of an alignment with your personal vision. See this isn't just about work, it's about your life and the reasons so many people fail to follow through when things become difficult is due to this lack of connection with their personal lives. Now at its most basic personal focus through mental refreshers and routine are two ways to benefit all aspects of your life, including your professional and career growth. Try finding at least three hours in your week. Three hours to spend on things other than work. Use this time to refresh and invigorate your mind so that when you return to work, you can do so with much more focus and energy. The more you can create routine in your days and weeks, the more effective your execution will be. In the best way to do this is to create a picture of an ideal week outside of work, the planet on paper, all the critical tasks that occur in a typical week and organize them so you can be most productive. 27. Apply Your Personal Vision: Let's start with how to apply your personal vision that we talked about earlier in this course, we mentioned that the critical first step to executing well is creating and maintaining a compelling vision of the future and being willing to sacrifice some amount of comfort to achieve it. It's often said that we become a product of what we read, what we listened to, and who we spent time with. So start with an examination of those. From those influences. You can get a vision for what's possible in your life and what you might need to change. To open up greater possibilities. Think about what you want to achieve personally and the type of person you want to be. And there are three ways to create focus through your personal vision. First, you need to create your personal vision, which if you haven't started your vision yet, I highly recommend you do that before you continue with this session. But if you haven't, no worries, because I'm going to show you right now how you can expand that to your personal life. In this session and in the activity to follow. Second, you take inventory of that personal vision. You'll learn that too. And third, you target the top two to three areas of focus. Let's visit each of these three in more detail. Your personal vision can take many forms. Words, pictures, ideas. Personal vision, true to you will not only reflect your personal passions and priorities, but the manner in which you capture them should also be uniquely. You consider a collage of pictures, my personal favorite, a list of feelings and ideas, or a detailed list of what matters most to you, whatever form your vision starts with. Be sure to address seven areas of your personal life. And you can see those on the screen or in your workbook. Here's what they include. Family, work, health, spiritual, financial, emotional, and intellectual. No work is not your personal vision. This is not a typo. Work should be an aspect of your personal vision, not the specifics of your job or how you manage your tasks and achieve promotion, et cetera. But your personal vision of how work fits into your life as a complete person that definitely has a place in your personal vision. And notice for your vision, some people are able to just reflect on a broad topic and get all the thoughts out with what appears to be no effort at all. But for those that aren't sure how to write something to sum up the vision for your life. I've broken it down into a process of many visions. We'll do an activity on this later, but just listen now, ultimately, you should use whatever method will help you find the vision that's true to you, speaks your passions and is something you can honestly live your life to fruition and to bring your goals to fruition. Here's the steps for the personal vision that I recommend. First, describe in any format. The could be for each of the seven areas. Second, right, many visions for each of the seven areas. Third, combine many visions into comprehensive personal vision. Let me explain in more detail what I mean for each of those. Take those seven areas of your personal life and in some way, document what they mean to you or what you want for yourself in each of them, listed out as much or as little as necessary to capture your complete vision for that area of your life. Remember, this is your vision. You don't have to be limited and you probably shouldn't be by what your current job is, your current family situation, your finances. Make this a list of what could be. Now when you have all that done, go back to the first topic and craft a summary statement for each area one at a time. This could require some reflection in a few drafts to get the accurate and complete idea out. But what you wanna do is find the theme that comes across on to all the elements you captured for each of the seven topics and then summarize it in one sentence. These are your seven mini visions. Next combined the main ideas of each mini vision into one comprehensive statement, one personal vision, and then reread and revise this vision until it appropriately captures the most important elements of your hopes, goals, needs, passions for the work, family health, spiritual, financial, emotional, and intellectual aspects of your life, the seven parts. So you have a personal vision statement. Now what if a vision statement is the summary of where you want to be in seven aspects of your life. In order to live a life of passion, impact, and satisfaction? Well, it makes sense to take inventory. Where are you at with each of these areas, which are rewarding and acting as a source of energy which are draining you because they fall short of your vision. Go back to your list of the seven areas, the items that are meaningful to you in them. And your mini visions rank each one on a scale of one to 10, where 10 is a source of energy and you're living your vision and one is a drain on your energy and your current life is far from the vision you have for it. Remember, when you wrote the many visions, you looked at what could be taken inventory is a time to look at the now and how it compares to what you want. And the last piece to creating focus through a personal vision is targeting areas that are out of alignment with your vision for a defined period of improvement. Go back over your list of many visions and rankings. Which areas are causing you the most pain and or will have the greatest impact on your life if you change them, it may not be that all items with a low ranking our worth fixing now, the greatest impact to your personal vision, to your energy and passion. It might come from focusing on something just shy of a tan, rather than fighting to bring up a one or a two. And just as some people work to further enhance a strength, rather than fruitlessly struggled to convert a weakness to his strength. You may find it more advantageous to bring home the ones closest to your vision. Put a star next to the two or three items that will give you the greatest impact for your focus. These are the ones you will pursue with intensity for a 12 week period coming up next here in this program, you can't focus on all things at the same time and expect to do them well. These are the quarterly building blocks you created earlier. Choosing a few to tackle for 12 weeks is not saying that the other aspects of your vision aren't important. It's just prioritize in your list. It's creating focus. So which ones to choose is a personal decision. No one's going to be able to tell you which one's better or pick for u. This is your personal vision in what you choose to focus on is a reflection of where your heart is at any given moment. What you pick now, maybe very different than if you were to do this a month from now. There is no math or science on how to pick. You need to feel this with your God and listen to your heart. Now I get to tell you about this amazing tool that I use called the 12 week template. We all have critical activities which drive our lives that we need to do each day. When you have done the numbers and unbroken success down into key items that you must perform daily. Then if you do though, is crucial activities every day. You've got enough no worried about the future is amazing that font reduces stress. And you can summarize those key practices on one template called the 12 week template for yourself, for others on your team and family and your relationships. This template aligns your actions each day with your overarching goals and vision. Now the 12-week template lives in appendix of this training companion for this course, in appendix in the book, back in the back of the book. And it's also something we'll put on the screen so that you can see it right now. This is a powerful tool to take your quarterly building blocks and make them real and actionable. And I'm going to describe how to use this in detail. But essentially, each area of focus or goal represents each of your quarterly building blocks that you already created in this session and in earlier in the course. Now recall your quarterly building blocks are your goals for this core. This template is going to allow you to take each of those building blocks are goals and make them actionable, measurable, trackable, and achievable. That is an amazing thing. Because it's so amazing, I'm now going to dive into detail on how to do it. 28. Create Improvement from Focus: And I'm going to start by showing you how to create improvement from focus. So everything in this lesson up to this point has been about creating a personal vision, creating something upon which to aim your focus outside of work. The next step in the process is to devise the tactics, the methods, the processes that you're going to use to apply that focus, create tactics and you can actually derive improvement through your focus on a personal vision. Now there are five necessary elements of tactics for Focus on your personal vision. Some people call these smart goals. Here they are. Every smart goal is one specific, to measurable, three achievable for relevant and five time-bound. I can tell you what makes a good tactic, but actually crafting the tactics to achieve the goal is you start in the previous section. That's up to you. So look at the first item you marked, let's say it was the financial aspect of your life and you aren't living up to your vision of financial stability. Well, what will that take? Do you need more in savings, fewer expenses to impair rather than replace a high dollar item. Your personal situation, combined with your values and your vision, will outline the tactics necessary. Remember, your tactics are there to help you achieve your goals. Making impactful changes on your personal life. They shouldn't be so daunting as to make it impossible to complete them each week. They may be challenging. But the key to actually achieve an improvement through focus is to do something. You have to be able to execute the tasks that you devise. And that means when the lottery this week is not an acceptable tactic for improving your financial aspect. A weekly game plan going to translate to your high level 12-week commitment into daily and weekly actions. And it allows you to structure your activities so that you're focused on tasks that are truly important, that'll bring you closer to achieving your goals and where the weekly game plan in place. You can stay focused and productive in each moment. Instead of getting caught up in all the noise and distractions that can easily derail us. It reflects the critical strategic activity from your 12-week plan that needs to take place this week in order for you to achieve your vision centered goals. Now here's the thing. Each tactic has a designated week for completion. Those tactics keep you on the path to improvement by dictating your daily actions. The weekly game plan is 1 12th of the work needed to bring those carriers have impact up to snuff. In the pursuit of your personal vision. Each week, you're going to tackle new elements that bring you closer to the end of the 12 week period and 12 week period you committed to to impact will change in one to three areas, your personal life. So spent 15 minutes at the beginning of each week to review your progress from the past week and plan the upcoming one. I do this every week. The first five minutes at each day should be spent reviewing your weekly plan of that day's activities. And your weekly plan encompasses your strategic and priorities. Strategies and priorities, your long-term and short-term tasks and your commitments in the context of time. You need to carry it with you and work from it on a daily basis. 29. Keep Score: We're gonna do an activity in a second on all this. But let's move on first to keeping score. It's grand and say you're creating improvement through focus. But really, I mean, how do you know? The only way to know something like that is to measure it. You have to confront the truth and keep score. Now having a way to measure your execution is critical because it allows you to pinpoint and break down and respond quickly. Uh, people often drop out with their goals when they reach a point because they lack the courage to face the reality of their actions. Instead of scoring their performance, they distract themselves with other things that seem important in the moment. In fact, though, failing to keep score undermines your entire vision and your dedication to it. So there are four ways to keep score of your tactics and goals using your 12-week template. So that doesn't happen to you. You can write these down in your training companion. Here we go. First, track the number of tactics you've completed. Second, measure execution, not results. Third, set a threshold for weekly tactics completed of 85%. If you get 85%, you've done very well. Fourth, measure, excellence, not perfection. Give yourself permission to be excellent, but not perfect. Effective score keeping is essential if you want to execute well and perform at your best, take the time to establish a set of key measures that align with your vision and tactics and that included leading and lagging indicators. We'll get into those in a second. But most importantly, be sure to score your execution. Have the courage to measure your performance. 30. Activity Develop Focus through a Personal Vision: Now it's your turn to uncover opportunities for personal focus in leverage that focus on creating beneficial change in your life. You're going to see an activity in your training companion. But I want to briefly go over it with you now, It's activity time for you to put all this into place. Step one, create a vision board or revision book. Gather up ideas, words, pictures, quotes, et cetera, that align with each of the seven aspects of your personal life, work, family, health, spiritual, financial, emotional, and intellectual. Dedicate a Bolton border notebook to collecting the elements of each area that represents what you want your personal life to look like. Step 2, write many vision statements for each area of your personal life. Reflect on the items you gathered in your vision and your vision book or on your vision board, and combine all items into one statement that encapsulate those areas. Complete this for each of the seven areas. Step three, write a personal vision statement. Take the mini vision statements and rework them into one summary statement that reflects the most important parts of your mini visions. Step four, rank your current personal life against your vision. Examine each of the seven areas and rank your life on a scale of one to 10, where 10 represents your current life as a source of energy and you're in alignment with your vision. And one is a drain on your energy. Step five, determine the most impactful one to three areas. Review your list and determine which 12 or three areas would benefit you the most right now if you put focused attention on them for the next 12 weeks, remember, it isn't necessarily the lowest ranked items that will provide your life with the greatest impact. Step 6 divides 12 weeks of tactics to address your biggest impact items, remember the tactics must be specific, actionable, due dates, and assigned responsibilities. Start with the biggest impact items first, and then repeat for any additional areas of focus in this 12 week period. Additional charts are available in the appendix of your training workbook for the 12 week template. Step 7, determine the metrics you're going to use to keep score of your improvement efforts. Create a schedule for checking your weekly game plan in detail the specific ways that you're going to track your progress. In step eight, keep score. Track your score with each week's tactics according to the metrics you outlined already. Repeat each of these for the other areas of focus using the tables in the appendix of your training workbook. That's the first activity. 31. Stay Focused on Your Day, Time and Goals: Next, I'm going to show you how to stay focused on your day, on your time, and on your goals. Let me ask you a question. What's the most important thing you can be doing in any given moment in your work day. What is your vision? Are you intentionally expanding and focused effort to bring the vision to life? You can put eight to 10 hours of work and not really have accomplished anything any given day. You can spend most of your waking hours working, being stressed, getting exhausted, and not really knowing what you have to show for it. Do you just put out fires and react? Or do you take control of your day and focus a time? The key is to ask yourself this question, what's the most important thing I could be doing right now? And being focused is the intentionality of do my actions at work or in my career and life align with my vision of what I'm trying to accomplish with my life or business or career through the work that I do. So what's the difference between focus and intentionality? Well, intentionality is the conscious, effortful choice to take actions or not to act, to bring about a desired state of affairs like your professional vision, intentionality is about being purposeful and deliberate and everything you do and when you choose to do it, focus on the other hand, a concentrated attention that you put on being intentional. The reality is that if you're not purposeful about how you spend your time, then you leave your results to chance. You don't satisfy the various demands of the day as they're presented. And you're spending whatever time is needed to respond to demands without giving much thought as to the value of the activity. This is a reactive approach in which the day is controlling you and it prevents you from performing at your best. Lewis Carroll from Alice in Wonderland once said something very important about reactive results. He said, If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there. When you have an accomplished goals for the day, it's unlikely you're able to focus a 100% on your late day stuff. But when you're doing the things you should be doing, well then focusing your effort and attention in this moment. It creates focus in other areas of your life. In other moments. That's why you need to take control of your day. 32. Take Control of your Day: Effective use of your day can be the difference between mediocrity in great performance. The choices that you make on how you spend your time, ultimately determines your results. And to become great, you must choose to allocate your time to your greatest opportunities. And you'll have to choose to spend time on the difficult things that create the biggest pay-offs you'll need to live with intention. Vat requires you to be clear on what matters most, and then to have the courage to say no to things that distract you. There's a really important concept I want to share with you about this. It's called Focus plus strengths. The focused and concrete application of your strengths will produce your greatest achievements is not powerful. Accountability is another way to take control of your workday and your professional life overall. But the only person who could hold you accountable is you. It's not a friend. It's not a coach. When you step up and accept accountability for the intentional actions or inactions, you take in the pursuit of your professional decision? Well, you're taking control on both the front-end and the back-end of your work. Anyone can call the shots and be in-control to start focus and successful insignificant person exercises that focus throughout any process or decision. With self-managed accountability, putting accountability in the hands of someone else is ultimately giving up control of your day. You're choosing to become the passenger in your journey at the point of execution in your plan. And it can be uncomfortable. It can be inconvenient at times. But only you can make you aligned with your vision. You must be certain and do certain activities to have the life or career you envision and to make the necessary impact and micro-managing goals with a highly competent team member might be more comfortable for you, but it won't deliver the kind of impact you desire when it pulls you away from other tasks. So you must hold yourself to your vision and take control of your workday by choosing not to intervene tasks in which you're not needed. This requires a mental, mental shift. The mental shift is this. To achieve breakthroughs, you must come to think about your own time as at least as important as that of your clients, your customers, or anyone else you serve. And accountability is the stance in life in which people acknowledge their role in outcomes. You see once we accept that our actions have an impact on the outcome, then and only then are we truly empowered to create the results that we desire. Being accountable is not easy. And at times it's very unpleasant. But if you're serious about your goals, you must take ownership of your situation. And taking ownership means that you stop looking outside yourself. Stop letting all those little things keep you from creating the practice in your life, your family that you desire in the professional goals, in life goals you're capable of. Now there are four key actions that you need to take for greater accountability. Here they are. First, I want you to resolve never to be the victim. Second, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be willing to take different actions. Associate with other accountability people. Accountability is not consequences. Its ownership. Step up. One, it take control of your workday. 33. Be Intentional with Your Time: If you want to achieve your goals, you need to be intentional with your time. The more you can create routine in your days and weeks, the more effective your execution of all your tasks will be. And the best way to do this is to create a picture of an ideal week. I love this and do it all the time, plan all the critical tasks that occur in a typical week, and organize them so you can be most productive. And then you build these into your calendar, your planner, and you share them with your team and your family and yo hold yourself accountable to them. To do this, there are three time blocks for your work week. And the first one is called the strategic blocks. The second, our buffer blocks, and the third are breakout blocks. Let's dive into each one. These are awesome. And our strategic block is a three hour block of uninterrupted time scheduled once a week. During this time, you take no calls, you read and respond to 0 EMA hills. You accept no spontaneous visitors, nothing. These three hours or exclusively for focusing your energy on plead pre-planned strategic money-making activities in life goal achieving activities. And what are these? No interruptions, magical activities where there are the things you should be doing but somehow seemed got distracted from buffer blocks or the balance to your strategic blocks. These are the times to deal with all the normally unplanned or low value yet still necessary activities like email, voicemail, aim for 30 buffer blocks, minutes per day, or two separate one hour blocks in the course of a week. But the power of buffer blocks is not what you get done. But in the fact that you group these tasks that tend to be otherwise unproductive. And the grouping allows you to increase your efficiency in dealing with them and taking greater control over the rest of your day. Now by only allowing a limited amount of focused attention on these low-value tasks. Instead of being constantly distracted from other focused activities, you can maintain your focus on higher value tasks the rest of the time. Now in addition to emails and voicemails, dealing with drop-ins from staff and colleagues in addressing and all sorts of follow-ups. These are the perfect buffer block activities. Think of them like office hours for your team, your co-workers, co-workers, or even your family. You're available for drive-by chats. While you wait for those, you power through a stack of emails and a stack of voice mails. Now there's an important concept called a buffer block thinking shift. In order for your buffer blocks to function as they should and enable you to appropriately focus on tasks. You have to say no to drop things that occur outside the buffer block time is share your calendar with the appropriate times the buffer blocks, and you keep an open door during those buffer blocks. Interruptions in other tasks can result in 15 to 20 minute delays in regaining where you left off after the distractions resolve, the balls come flying down. The last of the time blocks, the third one, possibly the most important, and it's called the breakout block. Now at some point in your week, intentionally spend at least three hours on something other than work. Happening to spend a few hours on non-work things is not the same as blocking time every week for this, your breakout block is to refresh and invigorate your mind so that when you return to work, you could do so with more focus and energy and having your mind in the same place as your feet. 34. Focus on Your Professional Vision and Goals: Now, it's time for you with an activity to focus on your professional vision and goals. If you can use focus to bring about beneficial changes in your personal life by achieving your personal vision? Well, you can certainly do the same professional. Applying focus at work is more than just taking control of your day and being intentional with your time. You can tangibly do something with all that focus and bring that professional vision to life. Just as you created discrete goals from your personal vision, it's time to do the same thing with your professional vision. Will do this activity in just a moment. But first, think about this. Break your professional vision down into separate pieces and rank and prioritise the ones that cause the most pain and the ones that will provide the greatest impact when achieved. And from there it's time to create another 12-week plan that gets your professional life in alignment with your vision through the completion of a 12 weekly game plans. And remember, the Basque 12-week plans are focused on just one or two things that you most desire progress on. And the best goals are realistic. But enough of a stretch that they'll call on you to deliver your very best. For each of your goals, define the highest priority daily and weekly actions that you must take to reach that goal. Those are your tactics for each of the weekly game plans. For those actions you decide to implement in this 12 week period. Remember to keep them specific, actionable. Include due dates and clearly outline responsibility. They're smart. And do you remember the 12-week plan template that we alluded to earlier? This 12 week plan template, it's in your training companion as well. And the appendix is my weekly tracking mechanism to help me meet my goals to grow my business. And it's also a metrics tracker for me to monitor my execution of the tactics necessary to achieve my goals in my 12 we plan. Now you can make a version of this to track whatever your tactics are in relate to. But the rubber hits the road when you have to execute on those tactics daily, weekly, you failed to do this and you demonstrate your lack of focus and delivering your goals to yourself. You can hold yourself accountable of this on your delivery by scoring yourself against self-determined metrics. Now there are four metric pitfalls to avoid. Write these down with me first, avoid metrics that are too complicated. Second, avoid metrics that are insignificant or unimportant. Third, avoid metrics with no time scheduled to assess their progress. Fourth, avoid abandoning the 12 week template system when you don't score. Well. Remember this. Measurement drives the execution process. It's your touchstone with reality. Don't be afraid to confront what your numbers are telling you. Or your vision will never be more than just a vision. 35. Activity Focus on Your Time and Accountability: It's your turn activity time, it's your turn to demonstrate your focus through intentionally managing your time and sharing your accountability at work in your career and in life. Here we go, it's time to demonstrate your focus through intentionally managing your time and sharing your accountability with others. Step 1, identify a strategic block in your week. Make it three hours, and make sure it's repeated every week. And block this time when your public calendar and write it down in your training companion step to create buffer blocks in your week, allocate 30 minutes a day to focused effort on low-value tasks. Block this time on your calendar, write it down, communicated to your staff, your colleagues, your family, the purpose for this time. Step 3, reserve time each week for a breakout block, set aside three hours a week for intentionally refreshing and rejuvenation time. Block this time on your public calendar and make sure it's repeated weekly, and write it down in your companion. And step four, create a 12 week plan for your highest impact professional goals. Follow the process he used to create weekly game plans for your personal visionary as a focus, including the specific metrics you will use to evaluate your progress. Now a complete template is available in the appendix to this training workbook for this course. In step five, exercise personal accountability by keeping score, track the execution of your weekly game plans using your metrics. Write it down in your companion when you'll evaluate your progress and metrics and make sure to block the time on your calendar every week. 36. Leverage Others to Stay Focused Go Public with Your Results: Now the last section of this session is entitled how to leverage others to stay focused. Now while it's true that only you can actually hold yourself accountable, it's possible to leverage the people around you to help you maintain a laser focus on your goals and progress. If you're working towards achieving big goals, you're a leader. You have to be leaders must lead. By example. He used the pressure of being a leader no matter how many are leading to keep you on target with your vision, goals and metrics. Here's the thing. If you can't be proud of what you've accomplished each week and stand behind what you're doing and why you do it. Well, you risk letting the people around you down, letting down the people who respect, those whom you desire respect from. So you leverage the people that are important in your life, those you don't want to disappoint to ensure that you don't over-commit and under deliver or break promises. And the first step to leverage others is to go public with your results. Now tracking your progress silently. It's not enough. When we're talking about professional goals and vision. You're not the only player in the achievement of a professional vision. Your team members share that vision with you. Your family shares it with you. So reports your progress and metrics to your team members or your family who are also stakeholders in your professional vision. And do this during what I call a wham, a weekly accountability, meaningful way home, or whatever key activities create the alignment with your vision. Share a pass fail achievement of those critical elements every week. Now here's the key for your wham meetings. A pass is 85% or more tactics for the week completed. A fail is less than 85 percent of tactics completed for the week. And by sharing your metrics, you're not asking other people to hold you accountable. Know, you're demonstrating your accountability, your ownership of the achievement of these goals, the ones that bring your vision to life. If you only give your score to you, then you can convince yourself it doesn't matter, it's flawed or it doesn't need to be tracked because you just know where things are at. But when you report it out to others, that requires you to put yourself out there, which might be uncomfortable. But going public with your goals, your progress, your metrics, your lack of progress. It forces you to focus on achieving and measuring those goals. You're leveraging the presence in respect of other people to compel even greater focused in your, in your work. Now maybe you don't have a team yet, or maybe some element prevents a wham from being effective for you or for them. Well, you aren't off the hook ongoing public. There are other ways to demonstrate your personal accountability and leverage others to stay focused. You can set up a five to 10 minute call with an accountability partner to go over your tactics and goals. You can also report out to a study group. A lot of my clients do this and they love it. You can also report out to a member or a role model. 37. Don’t Overcommit: The key though, is to not over commit. As a leader, especially a goal-driven leader, your ability to keep commitments is essential in building and maintaining strong relationships in a productive workforce if you have one. So give yourself permission to say no to things that are of lower value than the things you're currently pursuing. Whether these are prospects are more important to micro-managing task, whatever it is, say no to the low stuff. Here are the top three common commitment pitfalls I see people make when they commit to goals. First, they miss a commitment once and then they give up. Don't do that, Stay the Course. Second, they fail that confront a miss commitment. So if you miss something, use discernment to figure out why. Third, they don't value their own word. You need to value your own word. The best way to avoid the common commitment pitfalls is to not overcommit. It's hard to miss a commitment or ignore a missed one when there are rare and significant. Here's my key thinking shift on commitments. It is okay to say no. A goal achiever can and sometimes should Say, no. Same null. And preventing over commitment from the start is your best method to stain focused. But say no is often harder than it sounds on paper. So as added incentive to help you choose the right commitments, consider going public with the activities you agree to do. If you have to share with your team, the entire office, or even your family, something you agreed to, that public exposure can help you stay focused on delivering. Now here's the thing people deliver on what they own. As a goal setter and a leader, one of your responsibilities is to foster ownership of the things that matter most. You need to train yourself to think about and connect with the longer term benefits versus the short-term inconveniences and discomforts of NADH over committee. How can you focus on your professional vision if you're committed to everyone else's vision and goals ahead of your own. 38. Keep Your Promises: What is the response of other people when you come back from a personal training like this one. Is it? Here goes again. You are once again all pumped up for a day. Hype the team on all the great new things. And then two weeks later, nothing's changed. Broken promises drain emotional bank accounts and they damage relationships. If you say it, you have to believe it and show up and do it. We aren't in elementary school anymore. You don't have to say the words. I promised to be effectively making a promise. If you say I'm doing something from nine to 10, but your staff can hear that you aren't. The bottom line is that you're lying to them and you failed to live up to your word. Take a look at this box. It's called, I do as I say. Now it's imperative that your words and actions a line if you want to have the greatest positive impact. So let me ask you something. What are the costs of breaking a promise to someone in your life? You might lose the respect of others. You might miss opportunities, limit your production or fail to achieve your goals. If the commitment wasn't worth saying no to where the task was important enough to verbalize desire or plan to complete, then there must have been some benefit to making that promise. Why isn't the loss of that benefit worth it? Now? Are you choosing pleasurable activity now over the pleasurable results that you announced that matter to you. You see leaders often make the hard choices and stick to the difficult path because it's worth it in the long run. Or simply because keeping their word aligns with personal or professional, professional vision. The presence of staff, colleagues and other leaders, family and your work life should help you stay focused on keeping those promises you do make. If you don't know why you're making the promises that you are, go back to your personal vision. You have to start there, the one at the beginning of the session. Be intentional with everything that aligns with that vision. Minimize all the things which don't align. 39. Activity Establish a Weekly Accountability Meeting : It's activity time, it's your turn to go public with your results to leverage others to help you stay focused on achieving your professional goals. Step 1, review the one to three professional goals you're focused on for the next 12 weeks, your quarterly building blocks, you should have these from the prior activity. Write them down now, step to review your weekly game plans and tactics to determine the best audience to go public with. It might be your team, a mentor or a leader, a study group and accountability partner. Write down who you plan to report out to every week. Step 3, determine which metrics from your weekly game plans that you're going to share? It might be all of them. If so, write them down. Step 4, schedule a recurring meeting weekly with your report out audience. Write down in general when it will be. Step 5, demonstrate personal accountability by reporting out reported out at your wham meeting, whether you pass or fail in the execution and the tactics outlined in your weekly game plan. Write down the first two weeks of report out results. Great job in this session, I'll see you in the next session. 40. Save rewards from slipping through the cracks: I'm going to show you how you can save rewards from slipping through the cracks by creating a fail-safe follow-up system for your goals and for your life. Most people don't want stuff to slip through the cracks. You're about to learn and easy in fail-safe system of reminders to create and follow up with all the key tasks that you need to do in order to achieve the key goals, tactics, and measurables that you set place to do in your life. I E, to get stuff done. This will help you avoid any of them from slipping through the cracks. For example, you may set a meeting and for whatever reason you have to reschedule. But what if you weren't able to get it rescheduled? Now you've forgotten about that person. You may forget to do it completely, or it just may bother you too. You do it either way. Try and remember these types of things is exhausting. It's also a wasting time in your day. I'm going to take that and we're going to take that stress away in this session. If you've ever wasted five minutes or more trying to find an e-mail. Remember what an email correspondence said, or figure out what tasks to do next with a particular goal or client, or person or family member. Than this session will change your life forever. If you waste five minutes, even once a day, that adds up to 1300 minutes of lost business or time a year. We're going to take back that time in this session. Now, many people are not good at follow-up. Imagine having a tried and tested follow-up system built specifically for you that you can use on your own or share with your staff, your family, your coworkers, your team. That's what you're going to learn in this session. This system needs to be fail-safe. If you have an assistant or a team member, it needs to be easy. If you're still on your own, people forget stuff. Other people want something or someone, you to take things off of their plate and to do things for them. That's one of the values that you provide. They forget to bring a check to a meeting. For example, an AI, you've gotta get a check from them or if you forget to follow up on things you promised to somebody, then it slips through the cracks, whatever it is. You may get the fact that you need to set goals and achieve them because there's lots of them. You may understand even why you need to get more done, because there's a lot to do. But why do you need to create a fail-safe follow-up system? Let's say you forgotten about one person. Even if it's just one person, you forgot about it. And you set that person, and then that person had to cancel with you for some reason and you weren't able to get that person on the phone or reschedule, stuff comes up. Now you've forgotten about that person. If that was a client, for example, let's say that client was a $15 thousand per year person and they were close. You're going to close business with that person. And you just lost a ton of money now, plus all the money you lost in the future from the follow-up that you'll never see. And you've lost the chance to get back together with this client on an annual basis, do an annual review. And this is not just about clients, this is about following up with existing tasks and goals to get existing key things done in your life. Even if you don't have clients, if you don't know how to follow up well, which most people by nature don't. Then you'll miss 20 percent of the time. That any of those goals would have gotten met for you. You miss this, all of this because you don't have a fail-safe follow-up system. We're going to help you take back those resources in this session. Now this is not just a would-be nice chapter. If you don't do this well, then either you or someone on your team or family is really going to struggle to achieve your goals. Because not paying attention to the techniques in this session. It's like cutting a hole in the bottom of your pants pockets and saying, Well, whatever money stays in his fine and whatever slips through the cracks is just going to go through. But a follow-up system covers that hole in your pocket. By the way, it's not just you. That's going to appreciate this session. Your staff members, your team, your family, they will thank you too for this session. See most teams, families, staff members are blown away by the amount of follow-up that's required in their industry or family. When you first start out in business, for example, follow-up falls on you in a very short period of time, you'll start asking others if you haven't already. And when you do, you'll still have your own follow-up to handle from the list that you had to do, but others will take on a large chunk of it. The system you're about to learn in this session will help those other people as much or for some of you even more than it helps you. They will love you for bringing this section back home and about, I'm going to help you and those around you create a fail safe follow-up system. So one of the biggest problems people have is that they're terrible at following up because they have so many things that are vying for their attention. There's just too many things for people to worry about on a daily basis. And yet it's one of our biggest needs. One of the things we want the most, we want the most who follow through. That's what we're looking for, is we want people to follow through and it's not just us, It's our clients, it's our family. And one of the things clients, for example, one at the most is to work with others who follow through. Clients want follow through, but most people aren't wired to do it. Your family wants follow through, but most aren't wired to do it. So you most likely spend a lot of time in the office, for example, doing lots of stuff and working really hard doing it. And if you don't have something that handles this offer you to make it more organized and simple in the background so that you don't have to keep it in your brain all the time. Well, then you're going to spend all of your time outside the office thinking about it to see when you're filling in the cracks. There's no way around it. Life or the career or the business that you're currently doing starts to happen like clockwork. The business that you're going to write later if with clients, for example, who you just need to remind them to get back together with is also going to happen more. So how do you create a fail-safe follow-up system? Well, there's three ways and I'm going to show you in this session. First, we're going to learn how to follow up on what accomplishes your goals. Now. Second, you'll learn how to follow up on what accomplishes your goals later. Third, you're going to learn how to manage your time more efficiently. You're about to learn how to do all three of these. 41. Follow UP on What Accomplishes Your Goals Now: Now let's start out with how to follow up on what accomplishes your goals right now. As things come into your email or paper in baskets, there are certain things you need to take action on, and other things that you don't need to take action on. These are called actionable. Write that down. And non actionable. Actionable are all of the things you need to take action on immediately. Because if certain things don't happen, there will be a bad end result. These are all the key tasks that either you need to do immediately or a staff member needs to do immediately, or a family member or they need to be marked on a calendar because they have to be done at a certain time of the day or time of the week in order to accomplish your goals. They can even be things you put on a project list to get done over time. But these actions need to be started immediately to make sure your goals are accomplished on your 12-week template. Now, there are two key things for you to remember when it comes to goal achieving actionable. First, if it's a goal achieving actionable, that means it will accomplish one or more of your goals and the next two months, that's big, two months. Second, if it's a goal achieving actionable, then you need to either do it, schedule it, or delegate it this week. Now, non-action bubbles are all the things you don't need to take action on her schedule immediately it to achieve your goals for your life, your career, your business. These are things that he can either be thrown away, file it away for you to be referencing later if need be, or tickled for a later time when you maybe will want to consider doing something later. This includes wish lists and would be nice lists. So there are two kinds of key things for you to remember when it comes to non-goal based, actionable. So non-action Hubble's first a non-goal based actionable. That means it won't accomplish one or more of your goals in the next two months. Second, if it's a non-goal based actionable, then you need to either trash it, file it, or Ticulate this week. Articulate just needs to save it for later. Will tickle that idea and save it for later for me to explain more to you. 42. Identify Actionable Versus Non Actionable Items: So how do you identify actionable versus non actionable items? Well, first, you need to know that an item that requires a decision is an inbox item. Write that down in a can come to you in a variety of ways. I could I could be a postage envelope, sent you an email, sent you a phone call, a face-to-face meeting, or even a new thought that comes to you. Let's take a look at an example. Here's an example inbox with a number of things that Jim needs to decide if our actionable or non actionable. Now, each of these email items come to Jim's attention and he needs to decide if the item is actionable, IE will it help them achieve his goals in the next two months? Or if it's non actionable, IE it won't help him achieve his goals in the next two months. So how does a person determine what's actionable and what's non actionable? Well, to answer this question, let's look at some common examples of things that come into your inbox. And let's analyze them together on how you would determine whether each is actionable or not. So really help you as you're figuring out yours. For each item. Ask yourself if it's something that will help you achieve your goals in the next two months or not. And if it'll help you achieve your goals in the next two months, then it's actionable. If it won't, It's not actionable. So let's try this together with some example items that may come into your inbox. A client contacts you to cancel or reschedule the meeting. What do you think? Is that actionable or non-acceptable? Let's actionable because it's going to have to happen in the next two months. Someone in the office tells you about a continuing education program that you should attend that helped him achieve a similar goal to yours. This is actionable because it will help you achieve your goals. In the next two months. You get a weekly notification that ranks your performance with respect to other people in your organization. This is actionable, it helps you with your goals. A colleague emails you a link to a website that she claims has all the data you would ever want to know about your health, not when your goals, by the way, well, this is not actionable. It's not one of your goals. A client tells you in a meeting to send him an email in six months as he will then be ready to do business with you. All this is actionable. You email yourself a link to an online training video you felt was useful that you'll want to watch again. But it's not related to your 12-week template. This is non-action well, because it's not something you'll need in the next two months or even the next 12 weeks. You've decided you'd like to get another license this quarter certification into do additional learning for that license. This is actionable. A friend, contacts you would invite you to come along to the football game on Saturday. Well, this is non actionable if it's not related to your goals for the next two months. If it is, it's actionable. Your client told you he wants to move forward, but you need a voided check before you can submit the paperwork to do the business. This is totally actionable. It's business. You receive an email inviting you to join a networking group where you may be able to meet new people? Well, this one depends if it will help you with your goals in the next two months, it's actionable, but here's the key. If not, it's not actionable. You receive notification that you forgot to put something for a client or didn't do something, right? And you need to go and fix it. Well, this is actionable. Of course. You get an approval e-mail back telling you that you've been approved for licensing in a certain state. This is non actionable if it doesn't affect your two month goals. You need to send an email or text to a client who needs to do an introductory phone call. This is an easy one, actionable. Another company contacts Usain, they'll give you hot leads. Well, this is non-action. Well, it's not part of your goals. You get an update from LinkedIn that people are looking at your profile. This is likely non actionable is it also doesn't affect your two month goals. Do you see the difference between actionable and non actionable items? 43. Decide if Your Actionables Are Tasks or Projects: Now I'm going to show you how to decide if your actionable, our tasks or projects. This is huge for getting your goals. Don't stay with me here. Once you've determined if the item is actionable or not, the next step is to do, is to do the actionable items in your inbox. And remember, actionable items are all things you or your staff need to take action on immediately to accomplish your goals in your life or increase revenue and your business in the next few weeks to the next few months. If these particular tasks don't happen, bad things will occur. For most people. Actionable is maybe things that need to go on your calendar or your task list because they have to be done on a certain day or a certain time of the day in order to make sure you make more money or you move forward with a goal. They can also be things that puts you on a project list to get done over time, but the task needs to be started immediately to help you achieve your goals. Now all of these actionable items that will help you achieve your goals in the next few weeks are either single-step tasks or multi-step projects. This is big. So what's the difference? Write this down on the task requires one step to complete it, then it's done. A project requires multiple steps or tasks to complete it. So how do you tell if the chore is gonna take you one step and be done or it's going to take multiple steps to complete. Well, let's analyze the following examples of actionable items to answer that question, Do this with me. A client contacts you to cancel or reschedule the meeting. Well, this is a task because it only requires one step, reschedule the meeting. Someone in the office tells you about a continuing education program you should attend that helped him achieve a similar goal to yours. This is a task because it requires one step. Schedule the program. A client tells you, you're in a meeting to send them an email and six months as he'll be ready to do business, then. This is also a task because you simply need to email him in six months. That's one step. You've decided you'd like to get another licensed this quarter and do additional learning for that license. This is a project. It will require multiple steps. First, you'll need to identify the learning necessary. Then you're going to need to schedule the learning. You're going to need to schedule the time you'll need to learn it. You'll need to pass the test to project. Your client told you he wants to move forward, but you need a voided check before you can submit the paperwork to do the business. This is a task. You simply need to send an email asking for the voided check. You're taking a certification course and you need to schedule the exam. Well, this is a task because you simply need to schedule the exam and you're done. A client tells you her car broke down and she needs to change her plan. As soon as she pays off the car bill, she wants to go back to her services with you. Well, this is a project. It will require multiple steps, including printing her plan on hold, emailing her reminder to start it up again. Then you got to start it up again and then update the plan. You receive notification that you forgot to put something on an application for a client or you didn't do something, right? And you need to go and fix it. Well, this is a task. You simply need to go in and update the application. Done. Do you see why we spent this time talking about these? If you know, if it's a task versus a project, it will help you get things done. Because you'd be able to plan effectively for what's in front of you. Let me explain that further in this next section of the video. 44. Create a Task List for One Step Actionables: Now that you have your tasks and projects separated and you know what's actionable and non actionable. The next step is to create a task list. For one step, actionable, this is amazing for achieving your goals. A task list is a place where you can put all the tasks you need to do each day. And it relieves a ton of stress because you don't have to worry anymore about remembering to do all these things. They're off your brain and they're on a list. Now the key is that for each of your tasks, you must list specific actions along with the date for when it needs to be done. The secret to any successful production system is that it's easy to implement and to use task system that I'm about to share with you is just that there will be days when you won't even have time to look at your task list and others when you do. This system accommodates both days because it's rolling, flexible. Once you implement this system, you will seriously wonder where it's been your whole life and why you didn't do it before. Now there are five different kinds of tasks. I promised when we're all done, this would totally make sense, but just watch these first, you can do it now. This is for tasks that require less than two minutes to do. If that's the case, you just need me to do it because it would take that long to create a task and plan to do it in the future anyway. So just do the task now in the two minutes or less. Second, you can delegate a task. And if it's going to take more than two minutes and it would be more efficient for someone else to do it. Well, then delegate it to someone else, does it. Third, you can defer it. If the task will take more than two minutes, you can do it yourself later. When you have more than two minutes of time forth. You can schedule it. If the task takes more than two minutes, you can schedule it on your calendar so that you can do it at a specific time. And finally, fifth, you can wait. If the task requires someone else to get back to you before you can do it, then you can assign a weight category. Let's go back to each of the tasks we looked at earlier and decide for each one what kind of category to give them. This will help you figure all this out for you and your goals. Now for each of the actionable tasks, you want to decide which of the five different kinds of tasks supplies do it now, delegated, defer it to schedule it or wait. A client contacts you to cancel or reschedule the meeting. Well, this is a do it now task because it will take less than two minutes. Someone in the office tells you about a continuing education program that you should attend that helped him achieve a similar goal to yours. This is a different task because you won't have time to do it now, but you'd like to do this and take a look at it. A client tells you in a meeting to send him an email and six months as hill, then be ready to do business, then this is a different task because it can't be done now anyway. So we defer it for six months. Your client told you he wants to move forward, but you need a voided check before you can submit the paperwork to do the business. This is a weight task. Once you remind the client to send you a voided check, you mark the task as weight because you need to wait for another person. In this case, the client, to send you the voided check before you can mark it complete. You need to send an email or text to a client who needs to do a phone call. This is a do it now task because it'll take less than two minutes. You're taking a certification course and you need to schedule the exam. This is a scheduled task because it requires you to schedule something and it'll likely take longer than two minutes. You receive notification, you forgot to put something on an application or didn't do something, right? And you need to go and fix it. Well, this one depends. It could be a schedule that task if you want to set up a time to do it later. Or it could also be a defer it if you want to just defer it to a later time without an exact date. And finally, it could be a duet now task if you think it'll take less than two minutes. This is helping you. Is this a cool concept? Now you might be thinking, well, it's cool JSON, but how do I implement this concept? The answer is so important that I created a stop sign box for it in your training companion. And I'll show it here on the screen. Once you create your actual tasks, we recommend using Outlook. You'll want to label each of those tasks with its name and the category it belongs to. So that when you revisit the task, you can quickly determine what kind of action you will need to take in order to accomplish it. This will help you get the task done, which will help you achieve your goals. Now you don't have to use Outlook, you can use anything. But here are some of the most common task categories that you will use. Calls the task requires you to be on the phone to complete it. Computer. The task requires you to be at a computer to complete it. Aaron's, the task requires you to drive somewhere else to complete it. Office. The task requires you to be at your office to complete it. Schedule the task requires you to schedule something on your calendar to complete it. I have one called Team meeting. The tasks requires you to be at your meeting with your team to complete it. I have another one called staff. The task is something that you've delegated to a staff member. I have another one called weight. This task requires me to wait for something from another person before I can complete it. I have another one called home. This is a task you would like to do at home. For each of your actionable tasks, you want to decide which category to give it. Is it phone, computer, Aaron's office schedule, team meetings, staff, weight, or home? So let's try this together with the tasks that we've been looking at throughout this session so that you can try this for yourself. A client contacts you to cancel or reschedule meeting. Well, this is a do it now tasks that we would label calls because we'll need to call the client. Someone in the office tells you about a continuing education program you should tend that helped him achieve a similar goal to yours? Well, this is a different task that I'm going to label computer because I'm going to be using the computer to research and complete this task. A client tells you in a meeting, descend him an email in six months as he'll be ready then to do business with you. Well, this is a different task. That's I'm also going to label computer because we'll need our computer to send the email in six months. Your client told you you wants to move forward, but you need a voided check before you can submit the paperwork to do the business. This I labeled weight. This is a weight task and I also labeled it computer because I'm going to need my computer to email the client asked for the voided check. You need to send an email or text to a client who needs to do a phone call. Now this is a do it now tasks that I also labeled computer because I'm just going to use the computer to email the client. You're taking a certification course and you need to schedule the exam. Well, this is a scheduled task that I'm going to label schedule because I don't need to schedule this on my on my calendar. You receive notification that you forgot to put something on an application or you didn't do something, right? And you need to go and fix it. Well, this is a task I labeled office because I need to be in the office to get this application done. So you can create and store your task list wherever you like. I recommend an electronic software program like Outlook, but you don't have to use that. And take a look at the task examples right now in either in your book or on the screen. This is an example of Jim's task list that he uses to keep track of all the tasks for himself and his team. Now he actually has an assistant keep track of all these, but you can do it yourself too. It's not a problem because it's all there in a one-stop shop at your fingertips. Very cool. By the way, notice that there are no tasks on the example list from Jim called do it. Now, that's because if it's a do it and how task Jim did it right then you need to do it right at the very moment. You don't need to create a line item for that task. And they only tasks that need to be created are the ones that take more than two minutes to do that you're unable to do right now. 45. Delegate, Defer, Schedule or Wait for Tasks: Let's take a look at some examples of those tasks that take longer than two minutes that Jim chose not to do now for his business, instead, he chose to delegate them to somebody else. Let's start with a task that is decided to be delegated to his assistant, Michelle. A gym delegated this to Michelle because it would take more than two minutes and it wasn't a task that Jim was uniquely qualified to do. In other words, it wasn't a high revenue producing task or a task that Jim wasn't just very good at, or he didn't love to do it. And either way, he delegated it to his assistant Michelle. Now, let's look at some tasks that may be deferred at a later time. Here's an example of two tasks. Jim deferred because they're going to take longer than two minutes and they don't need to be done at a specific time slot during the day for Jim. Now what about scheduled tasks, IE tasks that we need to schedule. Here, we see Jim Scott and his scheduled tasks that he's scheduled. Now these are tasks that take longer than two minutes and they need a specific time slot on the calendar. In Jim's case, you see a scheduled task of a meeting with his mentor Karl. Now lastly, we see below a weight task that was created. I'm going to show you this now. This is a task that needs to be done, but has to wait until Jim can get information from somebody else before it can be done. 46. Activity Follow UP on What Helps you Achieve Your Goals Now: All right, let's do this yourself. It's your turn to do an activity to follow up on what helps you achieve your goals. Now, you can either do this activity now or you can wait till the end of this video session. But either way, here are your next steps so you can put everything we've talked about into practice to follow up and what helps you achieve your goals. Now, step one for each item in your workbook in your life right now, ask yourself if it's something that will help you achieve your goals in the next two months or not. Now if it will help you achieve your goals in the next two months, then it's actionable. If it won't, It's not actionable. Step 2, for each of your actionable tasks, decide which of the five tasks labels apply. Do it, delegated, defer it, schedule it, or weight. Step 3, decide what category you label each of the tasks. Calls computer, Aaron's office, scheduled team meetings, staff waiting home. Good luck. 47. Follow UP on What Helps You Achieve Your Goals Later: You've learned in efficient system to follow up on what makes you money now or get your goals done now, it's time to use that same system to follow up on what gets your goals or money done later. And to do that, we're going to take a look at how to deal with the non actionable items in your inbox. Now recall a non actionable items are all the things you don't need to take action on or schedule immediately to make more money for your life or to achieve your goals. These are things that can either be thrown away, filed a way for you to reference later if need be, or tickled for a later time when you might want to consider doing it. This includes wish lists and would be nice lists. Now there are three choices that you have for non actionable items. First, you can trash it for any items that require no action now and never will need action in the future. Second, you can file it for any items that require no action now, but will require you to reference the item later. And third, you can tickle it. I promised you I'd cover this. And this is for any item that requires no action now, but possibly would require an action someday. By the way, you might be wondering how is finally in an item different from tickling in item? Well, the answer is pretty simple. File is used for something you have to refer to at some point. I eat or read it, look it up, et cetera, but you don't ever have to take action on it. I-i don't have to call someone or scheduled or anything like that. Vertical is used when you're going to have to take an action on this someday. Someday you will likely need to call someone, schedule something, etc, but not in the next week or two. So let's practice these three non actionable choices. For each of the non actionable items, I want you to ask yourself if it's something that you think you want to trash file or tickle, I'll show you my answers for how I'd handle it. And you can compare with yours. You get weekly notifications that ranks your performance with respect to other people in your organization? Well, this would be a trash item for me because I can look at it briefly and then I can trash it to avoid clutter. A colleague emails you a link to a website that the colleague claims has all the data you would ever want to know about a future goal of yours. By the way, it's not this quarter goal. Well, I would file this to use it with a future goal of mine since it doesn't apply to a current goal. But I can see it applying to a future one. You email yourself a link to an online training video that you felt was useful that you'll want to watch again? Well, I would file this one in my training folder for a future time that I'll do this training. A friend contacts you and invite you to come along to the football game on Saturday. I tickle this for later tonight if I wanted to go to the game, otherwise, I'd trash it or just email. Uh, no. You receive an email inviting you to join a networking group where you might be able to meet new people. Well, I would tickle this one for four weeks from now since I'm too busy to do this right now, you get an approval e-mail back telling you that you've been approved for licensing in a certain country? Well, I would file this if I needed to know this later, otherwise, just trash and if it's already in my head. Another company contexts you saying they'll give you hot leads. I would trash this. You get an update from LinkedIn that people are looking at your profile. I'd trash this and I wouldn't look at it if it doesn't apply to my goals this quarter. Do you see how powerful this is? Do you see how it can help you get things done without wasting time? Do you see how make you more efficient? 48. Trash, File or Tickle Non Actionable Items: Let me make this a little more real for you. I want to show you some examples of trashing, filing and tickling that Jim has done for his business practice. See if this helps you understand how to put this into play. Now, these are where the trashed items are stored because not only did these tasks do not require any action on Jim's part, but he'll never need these items again, not even for reference. Next, you'll see filed items that Jim will need to reference later. Now remember if you file it, that means you're going to need to reference it for information someday. So you'll want to file it away. And either a physical filing cabinet with physical folders or in an electronic filing cabinet with electronic folders like the ones that Jim is using here. I use the same type of electronic filing cabinet, by the way, for myself in my own practice. Finally, for Jim, we see in this figure the tickled items that Jim may someday want to take action on, but not now. Now these include things that are on hold and things that are a wishes item for him. Which items for him? 49. Activity Follow UP on What Helps You Achieve Goals Later: All right, it's your turn to do an activity to follow up on what helps you achieve your goals later. You can either do this activity now or you can wait until the end of this video session. Either way, here are your next steps. So you can put this into practice to follow up on what helps you achieve your goals later. Now this is a short activity. Simply take a look at your own task list or you can use the one in the workbook and for each of the non actionable items on your task list or in the workbook. If you need some additional practice, ask yourself if it's something that you think you want to trash file or tickle. 50. Manage Your Time More Efficiently with Daily Processing Time: Next I'm going to show you how to manage your time more efficiently. The last step and inefficient production system is to monitor on a daily and weekly basis everything you need to do. This includes your task list, calendar, and the projects you need to do. Remember, a task is an actionable item that only takes one step to complete one step in a project is an actionable item that takes multiple steps to complete. We're going to start with how to process your in basket on a daily basis. I call this processing time. And it's the time you take each day to process all of the things that come in to your basket. This mostly includes checking e-mails, but it can also include scheduling time, checking your postal mail, or anything else related to thinking about what you're gonna do with all the stuff that comes at you all day long. Now let me say something about e-mails. Stop checking, email so much. I'm serious. The first rule of thumb is for you to make sure that you're not checking your email every five minutes because that's what's happening to most people in business and in life. People are in front of their email at inappropriate times. In business, many are doing their deals, but emails are popping up and they're looking at him. I recommend you process a minimum of 30 minutes per day. And if you're processing your emails correctly, you could also process 15 minutes, the beginning of the day, and 15 minutes at the end of the day. You can also have your assistant process for you, which we'll talk about in a little bit in the next section. But even if you do that, you're still going to need to process the tasks that you've been assigned to. Buyer assistant. If you have one. Now I recommend optimally, you could check your emails four times a day. This is what I do. 730 AM, 1030 I am to 03:00 PM and 530 PM. But minimally, you could check them once per day, in the morning or at night. Here's an example of what processing time looks like as it is scheduled on Jim's calendar each day. Now notice Jim checks once in the morning and once at the end of the day. That's it. Now there will be days when you won't even have to look at your task list much a last process it. If you have a heavy day full of meetings or if there's a slot of stuff during the day that comes up that requires you to put out fires with clients or your family or team. Well, then you may not have an opportunity to process the process at those key times. But there are times when your whole day can slip away and you don't even have time to look at your task list. You don't have time to process, you don't have time to look at your e-mail. And this can even happen for two or three days in a row. You know this where you can process a single e-mail. When that's happening to you. You're probably running 07:00 AM to 07:00 PM on each of those days. The key on days like this is to still give yourself the 30 minutes or even 15 or 10 minutes to get the processing done. If you woke up a little earlier, but there'll be a time you could get that processing time in until you get staff. You may have to get up at 06:00 AM to process each day. Even with staff, that may be the case. You just need to find yourself 15 to 30 minutes in the morning to do this and 15 to 30 minutes at night. That's the goal. I recommend you process 30 minutes per day. The greatest key to making this system work is that you process once per day for 15 to 30 minutes. You must do this to have a working system so that nothing falls through the cracks. If you can't do 30 minutes, at the very least, process once a morning. If you can't do that, at the very, very least, process every other day in the morning. Remember, this system has worked for even the busiest people in the world. It can work for you too. 51. Manage Your Time More Efficiently with Weekly Review Times: Now the next step in the fail-safe follow-up system is to set up a weekly review times. I loved this. I do this with all my clients every Friday. It's important for you to review the key things that will help you follow up on all the things you need to do for the coming week. For example, you can review your calendar to make sure that your Monday and Tuesday don't encode a meeting you're not ready for. During your weekly review, you're reviewing three key things. First, your review in your calendar. Look at the next two or three days to make sure that every meeting on your calendar is something you are prepared for. Second, here, reviewing your task list that we already built in this session, look to see if there's anything you need to do. Third, you're reviewing your project list. Look at your projects to see if there are any tasks that you need to add. Don't confuse weekly review with processing time. Processing time is the time for you to go over emails, tasks, and your calendar for that day only. Processing time happens once or twice per day, usually morning and night. Your weekly review time is the time where you review tasks, calendar, projects coming up for the next week. This happens once a week, usually on Fridays, that's the day that I do it. You can also do it on Mondays. By the way, Jim is an example on his schedule for weekly review times every Friday and during this time, he can review his project list of actionable items that require multiple steps tasks for him to complete. Now notice, Jim doesn't allow his weekly review time to be moved. It's that important. 52. Apply a Weekly Reflection to Your Life: I want you to take a moment and I want to talk to you about a concept that I call a weekly reflection on. Many people are spending time each day working in their life or career doing things. However, they're often not spending additional time on a weekly basis when they're not in their life or career, working on their life or career with something called that I call a weekly reflection. Now I've actually built an entire document describing the weekly reflection and I've placed it in the appendix of your training workbook. And let me just tell you this is an awesome, awesome added bonus to this program. This is an area where it wouldn't be, it would not be unusual for a person at any point in their career needing some work on their life or career. This weekly reflection is a literally a template you can use to do your weekly review. Now because I'm so high on recommending you to take a look at this. I'm going to share it with you right now. Again, you can find this in the appendix to the workbook for this companion for this course. But I want to show you what it says because it's a template for you to do your weekly reviews. Right now, battle plans never survived the first contact with the enemy. The statement is as true in life as it is in battle. And this is because our plans involve others who make decisions on their own based on their perspective. So it's critical to evaluate what's working, evaluate what's working and what's not. Now this doesn't mean that when you run into a challenge, you run for cover. Instead, it suggests you must stay mentally engaged in the results that are being created on the battlefield and adjust accordingly. So being conscious, cognisant of the results requires you to slow down, evaluate the outcomes you've been creating, get deeper and draw out insights that are beneath the surface but are there for your discovery. Nonetheless, these insights act as a homing device guiding us based on the feedback we get from life. Unfortunately, very few people invest the mental energy and focus to discern the messages don't fall prey to such short-sighted thinking. Weekly reflection begins by clearing your mind to allow the best decisions based on optimistic realism you'll be bringing to this endeavor. This means embracing the reality of the current situation and finding a satisfying meaning for it. Embracing reality is a vital character trait. C, ability to find the silver line, even build upon what's great effort list high performance demands. Both. What this means to you as, as a person, is that when preparing for your weekly review, you're going to benefit by managing your energy, quieting your mind in clarifying the vision you're committed to create. This is step one in the week and review and it's called get connected. And this clarification process may include reading your mission and your vision statements, as well as reconnecting with the core values you've chosen to express in your life, your principles. And you take five minutes prior to the beginning of the operational piece. To ground yourself on the operational pieces designed to get clear. This is step two of the weekly review of the weekly reflection. It begins with a complete processing of all your collection bins, empty your inboxes, transcribe any notes, do a mind sweep, capture any processing ideas are commitments that are grabbing your attention. And it's essential that your strategic plans begin with a clear mind. And having a lifelong process does not allow for such clarity. So you clear the decks. It only requires 10 to 15 minutes. And if clearing the decks requires more time than this, just create that as a project and schedule and on a block of time on your calendar, catching up and moving on with the process. Once your backlog has been eliminated, it's time to get current. This is step 3 on the weekly reflection on all of the moving parts in your life. Begin by reflecting on your calendar going backward and forward in time as far as need be to ensure nothing drops through the cracks. Then scan your contacts lists such as the next actions, calls, and you need to make emails to read or write projects to define errands to run. Next, look at existing projects, meeting agendas as well as anything you're waiting for from others. Mark off what's been completed or received, and ensure that every active project has a next action. This simple process will allow you to maintain momentum on everything you've committed mental bandwidth to. And this is the bulk of the weekly reflection process, and it should be completed in about 30 to 45 minutes. Now finally, step 4 of the weekly reflection is you can get strategic and buys strategic. I mean, simply allocating you're incredibly valuable resource of time and energy based on your new awareness of your options available for you to focus on. Determine which projects are the most important and move forward. Whatever those high leverage projects are, make an appointment with yourself to complete them. Get him in your calendar for focus time and prepare to operate like any appointment only this is to yourself. Manage your calendar with brief periods of recovery built-in. And this will ensure you have the energy required to bring your best over scheduling without allowing time for renewal, neglects the physiological reality that we need recovery. Now this final strategic planning time should be completed in 15 to 30 minutes, making the full commitment of the weekly reflection from start to finish, between an hour and an hour and a half. But the benefit of this investment will be a significantly elevated peace of mind and enhanced productivity. As this process ties all the loose ends together in our minds. You'll also most likely find it incredibly rewarding to not only accelerate, but to recognize your progress. And once this process becomes a ritual, it will provide you the confidence you'll need to trust your system in. Only with such trust, will you optimize your performance and fulfillment? 53. Put It All Together: It's time for you to put all this together in the appendix of the training workbook for this course that accompanies this course. You'll find an infographic flowchart to assist in understanding the entire fail-safe follow-up system that I've just shared with you in this session. Now for your convenience, I'm also going to include this in the video. Let's take a look. This chart is amazing. I suggest you cut it out and put it on your wall, use it to implement everything you've learned in this session called the fail-safe follow-up system. And this is amazing for me. I can tell you by the way, that this flowchart is going to save your life because it's going to help you get stuff done. 54. Activity Manage Your Time More Efficiently: Now it's your turn. It's your turn to do the activity. Step one, determine when you'll schedule your 30-minute daily processing time to process all the things that come to your in baskets. Will it be once a day? Every morning? What time is it going to be twice a day. What times will be four times a day? What time is it going to be? Step two, determine when your one to two hour weekly review time will be. This is the time to review the key things you need to do for the upcoming week, such as your calendar, your task list, and your final project list, which will be Friday morning. What time will be Friday afternoon? What time on Friday afternoon? Once you do all of this, once you do all the activities in this session, and you use the flowchart to be able to apply all this stuff in your life. You'll have a fail-safe follow-up system. And I can tell you, I use this fail-safe follow-up system in everything that I do. It's on my desk, It's on my desktop, on my laptop and I use it to figure out what's next. What are my task where my projects, I use my weekly review and the weekly reflection to make sure I get stuff done. This is how you achieve your goals and make sure nothing falls through the cracks. Good luck. See you in the next session. 55. Don’t Just Talk about It, Be It: I'm going to show you how to not just talk about it, whether that's your goals, your success, your fulfillment, or anything else in your life. But how to be it. By mastering your grit scale. If you desire positive success in life, you must not just possessed grit. You must master, period. The extent to which you do will define whether you go from good to great, great to success or success to significance. The best of the best would score highest on the grid scale. So if you care to join them, mastery is essential. Angela Duckworth developed a test to measure grit, which she called the grit scale. It's a deceptively simple test and that it requires you to rate yourself on just 12 questions from I finish whatever I begin to, I often set a goal but later choose to pursue a different one. It takes about three minutes to complete, and it relies entirely on self-report. Now she found it was remarkably predictive of success when it be cool if each student graduated from school with not only a GPA, but also a CPA. For character point average. If you were a college admissions director or a corporate human resource managers selecting entry-level employees. Wouldn't you like to know which ones scored highest in grit or optimism or zest. Well, Duckworth Grit Scale is a self-assessment derived from indicators that measure seven key aspects of a person's character, which according to research, are especially likely to predict a life of satisfaction and high achievement. Now there are seven critical character strengths. Write these down with me. They are number one, zest to social intelligence. 3, self-control for gratitude. Five, curiosity, six, optimism, and seven, grit. Zest is the energy of your personality, the excitement, fun you Brenda situations and people, just by being you says Does your energy and people like energy. It's one of the three pillars of being able to connect with the people you want to be able to connect with the most. Now, even if the word zest brings orange peels to mind, you still aren't far off. Think of zest as anything added to impart flavor to enhance one's appreciation, your personal energy should if you have zest in part flavor to the life experiences you partaken and enhance people's appreciation of you. A social intelligence is your ability to get along well with others, foster a sense of cooperation with them. Closely related in some might say a prerequisite aspect of social intelligence is emotional intelligence. In those who exhibit high emotional intelligence are able to relate to people through an effective management of their emotions, as well as an inability to perceive and appropriately respond to the emotions of others. In David Goleman's book, Emotional Intelligence, he states, if you know and manage your own emotions and if you can effectively read the emotions of others while you hold the world in your hand. But this is critically important in normal life and in business. Self-control is composed of your habits, rituals, and discipline. Now in order to function well in society, we all need the ability to control our emotions, behavior, and desires in the face of external demands. That is self-control. And then there is grit. Now your grit is your courage combined with resolve, passion, and persistence, Your strength of character grid enables you to persevere in accomplishing a goal in spite of obstacles over an extended period. Being a champion isn't for wimps. No one's going to be very good at anything in the long haul without grit. So let's get down to it and master grid. I'm going to teach you three ways to master your grid and thereby achieve any goal you want in your life. Number 1, identify how gritty you are. Number two, you set up your environment for self-control. And number three, make your grid sustainable. 56. Identify How Gritty You Are: Before you can grow and master your great, you need to see where you stand right now. A grid is a learned, an acquired skill. You'd develop grit when you don't want to do something and you attack the job. When you want to do something, you're successful on it and your compliment and on. Babies are not born with grit. We teach them when to persist and when to give up through our actions and responses to their actions, people and animals might show initial tendencies that reflect grit. But grit needs to be developed and ground, which is why we can become masters of it. The difference between the initial tendencies and learn grit can be explained with these two examples. First, let's look at training a bird dog. If you put a live bird and with the puppies and you watch them, who attacks and who cowers. Those that tower are not exhibiting grit, whereas the ones that go after the bird are exhibiting grit. Second, raising a child to three and four-year-olds tend to be shy with new people or they reluctant to meet new people, or are you teaching them that that's what we should do? 57. Describe Your Own Grit: So the first step for you is to describe your own grid. Now, assessments are handy because they're discrete questions and answers and a score comes out at the end. But recognizing grid in yourself and others doesn't always come with the time to take a test. Ask someone about his or her grid or describe your own in situations not conducive To written assessments with this statement. Tell me about some time in the past when you wouldn't have done something if you hadn't possessed a lot of passion and perseverance, grit to complete it in spite of challenges. C, While formal, formal assessments are useful, There's limitations to them. In the case of the 12 item grit scale, it relies on self reporting. You have to rate yourself on various statements and their accuracy to your life and being there, this means an accurate assessment requires brutal honesty with yourself, fudging your answers in responding the way that you think will make you grittiest on the test is not a measure of where you are at now. At best it's a measure of the person you'd like Tim P, or pretending you are. To master grid, you'll need to put away the facade, show the real you to identify your current level of grit. To do that, I'm going to ask you to take the grit scale assessment right now. 58. Activity Take the Grit Scale Assessment: This is the 12 item grit scale. Now I'm going to go over this assessment with you right now, but as I do, I want you to score yourself. And when you do that, please be honest. There are no right or wrong answers, but you need to be genuine and honest when you respond so you can accurately assess yourself. Number 1, I have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge. You would then ask yourself, Is that very much like me? Mostly like me, somewhat like me. Not much like me or not like me at all. Then you ask yourself those five questions for each of the remaining questions on the grid assessment. Number 2, new ideas and projects sometimes distract me from previous ones. Number three, my interests change from year to year. Number for setbacks don't discourage me. Number five, I have been obsessed with a certain idea or project for a short time, but later lost interest. And we're six, I'm a hard worker. Number 7, I often set a goal but later choose to pursue a different one. Number 8, I have difficulty maintaining my focus on projects that take more than a few months to complete. Number 9, I finish whatever I begin. Number 10, I've achieved a goal that took years of work. 11, I become interested in new pursuits every few months. And number 12, I'm diligent when you're finished with the assessment. Here's how the scoring works. For questions 1469, 10, and 12, assign the following points. 5 equals very much like me for mostly like me three, somewhat like me to not very much like me. And one not like me at all. For questions 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 11, assign the following points. One very much like me to mostly like me, three, somewhat like me for not much like me in five, not like me at all. Now add up all the points and divide by 12. And the maximum score on this scale is five extremely meridian, the lowest score, and the scale is one not greedy at all. 59. Set Up Your Environment for Self Control: We are 100% discipline to our existing set of habits and rituals. Therefore, self-discipline is simply a matter of creating the habits and rituals that will achieve our goals. Aristotle once said we do what we repeatedly do, excellence then not an act but a habit. You see there's a difference between discipline versus habits. I coach clients to uncover and learn how to achieve their highest potential work or in life in general. And during one of these sessions, a client said to me, I always thought discipline was my problem. But what you said is right, it isn't discipline. It's my habits. In rituals. You see, when we're faced with something that we have never done before, the challenge is not to force ourselves to soldier threw in spite of the setbacks, dislike or difficulty discipline. Instead, the work exists in creating new habits and rituals around that goal. Human beings naturally want to maintain what is the state level. And this is homeostasis. And counter to that is syntrophy, the force in nature that causes growth. Every living thing needs and wants to grow. This is a fact of life in nature. So the challenge is to leverage the compulsion to grow, to create excellent habits and rituals that will then be maintained through our desire to stay the same. Homeostasis has more strength binding. Syntrophy still exists in all of us, but it generally doesn't have as much muscle behind it. It takes willpower, passionate, and strength to act on the desire to grow and change to overcome the power of the status quo. The great people in history achieved this. They overcome the nature of steam input to achieve growth in this process can be painful though. And that is why spirit and the five keys for a successful life will help you create an environment for self-discipline that is creating habits and rituals that will put you on the path to growth and grit. Here we go. There are five key grit rules for a happy, successful life. First, get some sleep. Second, purge yourself of negativity. Third, follow a healthy daily routine. Fourth, live with zest and excitement. In 5th, be real with yourself. 60. Get Some Sleep: The first rule of grit is to get some sleep. No matter what you need to do, how badly you want it. You have to start every day fresh, you have to start somewhere each morning. So where are you going to start from? You can't get up and get going if there's no downtime. And while no one has been successful while asleep, you also can't achieve much if you deprive yourself of sleep. Sleep facts to open your eyes. Now here are some sleep facts according to the better sleep council. Number one, you'll die from sleep deprivation before food deprivation, it takes two weeks to starve, but 10 days without sleep can kill you. Number 2, most Americans 79 percent would feel better and more prepared for the day, would want extra hour asleep. Number 3, only 26 percent of Americans would choose sleep over other activities if they were given an extra hour in the day. And number 4, about 1 third, 30% of all respondents thought an extra hour of sleep a night was worth a 100 bucks or more. Five, about half of adults, 49% do not feel they get enough sleep. Habits and rituals of getting good sleep are just as important as the actions you take while you are awake. Sleep is your body's process of overhauling your brain every night. And if you don't get a good night's sleep, well, don't expect to achieve greatness and a half charged brain. Get some sleep so that you get up and get going. 61. Purge Yourself of Negativity: The second rule of grit is to purge yourself of negativity. The differentiator on the path to significance is how fast someone can recover from negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are poison. You must purge yourself of them. Think about the last time you got food poisoning. You know, the gas station, sushi that probably should have been skipped. Inevitably, those funky fish revolt and you throw up. And how do you feel after throwing up? Most people feel better. Why you got rid of the poison? Imagine this scenario. You had a bad phone call with a client. They got angry and swore at you. Now post the call. Your negative thought is, what a terrible rude guy, What a jerk. But maybe he's right. And I'm being too forward to aggressive. Now, spinning out on this negative thinking will poison the rest of your day, causing you to second guess your actions. Hesitate unnecessarily and replay the conversation over and over in your head. And when this happens, stop. Project. There are three ways to purge yourself of negativity. First, recognize the negative thought. This is called problem-centered thinking. Second, purge the negative thought stopping. Third, go from the negative thought to a solution. This is called solution centered thinking. So you, once you stop spinning out on your negative experience in recrafting your negative thought. A million different ways. You need to acknowledge that you had a negative thought. Say it out loud if you have two, and then turn that negative thought into a positive or at least a neutral, non impactful thought that will not taint your day. 62. Follow a Healthy, Daily Routine: The third rule of grit is to follow a healthy daily routine. And too many people merely get out of bed. They don't have anything deliberate. A pre-performance ritual that gets them ready for their day. You're ready up time is your entire morning routine from Wake up to getting in a car to your morning commute up until the moment you stepped through the door of the office. Now, here's the key aspects of a healthy daily routines. First, meditation or prayer. Second, its reflection and thinking. Third, workouts, stretching. Fourth breakfast. Fifth, personal health and hygiene. You see everyone's healthy daily routine will be unique. But most contains some of the aspects that I just shared. Your meditation and thinking time might be when you purge the negative thoughts. He couldn't shake the night before. Or you could use it to get focused on a challenging meeting or goal for the day. You might not be throwing down at a CrossFit gym at the crack of dawn. But even a few stretches and oxygen in fused deep breaths can wake up your mind and body for a successful day. Are you focusing time and attention and the food you eat to feel your day? What about on the process of eating? Spending conscious time and enjoying, and appreciating your morning meal. That's an important part of writing up for your day. 63. Live with Zest and Excitement: The fourth rule of grit is to live with zest and excitement. But once you're ready and standing at the threshold of your office, it's time to show up and showing up as so much more than just walking in. Showing up is arriving at work with zest, grit and excitement. Showing up as the difference between being in the game and just being at the game. If it executive walks into his office with a bad attitude, that really hurts the firm. Well, it can be done. In fact, a lot of people do it on a regular basis, but it comes with a cost. Just arriving or worse, arriving with an air of negativity will ultimately cost your business or your life. In the long run, you can lose clients, get up, disgruntled staff or family, you know, a lack of success. So scrape the dog poo off your shoes before you walk in the door, show up with pride, passion, and positivity? That's correct. 64. Rise Up and Be Real: The final rule of grid is to rise up and be real. You have to be real with yourself to know where you're at and where you need to grow. You have to walk like a champion. Before you are a champion, you have to rise up, Act, feel, believe you are successful before you actually get there. Now those working towards success and significance often suffer from what I call delusional competence because they think they need to be in the practice of it. But delusional confidence is when you think you're so good, but you aren't really. But it artificially feel fuels and feeds your confidence to your detriment. When you rise up, you need to avoid delusional confidence. It's important to see yourself as successful before you get there. Yes, to rise to a level of success that you can achieve it. But you also must know your limits in this process. Otherwise, you risk delusional confidence. Accept the responsibilities of leadership before you are formally titled as a leader. Act, the way in which a successful insignificant person does. While you're still working hard at success. In barely taste insignificance. Those things are not delusional confidence. That rising up to the task, focus on what you're doing and what you're trying to achieve. Be in the game and actively play the game. Don't warm the bench. Some people have a hard time with the idea of fake it until you make it, they feel it's dishonest or pretentious. Think of it like a job interview. You need to convince people or yourself that you're worthy of the job, success and significance. So you have to portray the person that can handle those achievements and responsibilities. Someone already successful, somebody already significant, or tried to spin on it. Faith it until you make it faith it. Having faith that you'll get there eventually. And you're just rise into the responsibility a bit early. 65. Activity Incorporate the Five Healthy Daily Habits in Your Life: Well, it's your turn with this activity to incorporate the five healthy daily habits in your life so that you can create an environment of self-discipline to master your grid. Step one, rate yourself from 10 very high to one very low on each of the five healthy habits, number 1, get some sleep to purge yourself of negativity. Three, follow a healthy daily routine for a life with zest and excitement. Five, be real with yourself. Step to reflect on your sleep routine and the role of sleep in your daily life. Right down strengths and areas for improvement with your sleep. Step 3, commit to one improvement in your sleep routine that you will do every single day for the next month to make it a habit. Write it down in your training book. Step 4, initiate a routine to purge a negative thought that's been plaguing you. First, write down the negative thought, second, acknowledge it. And third, recrafting into a neutral or positive stance. Step 5, write down the routine you currently follow. That sets your day up for success. If you don't have a standard morning routine, write down any tasks you do most mornings before you go to work. Step 6, create the ideal morning routine for yourself that will get you ready to face a day with challenges and come out successful. Change or add to your existing routine to make it one that will have U thriving and vibrant when you walk out of the door. Step 7, commit to the new Ready up routine for the next week. Reflect on how you felt during your work day as a result of seven days of the routine and then recommit for another week. Step 8, before you walk into the door at work or wherever you're going to work at each morning, commit to taking a deep breath and exhaling all the negativity in any bad attitude you're carrying so that you can show up to work. Step 9, rise up to your desired level of success and significance by acting the part, identify one thing you can start doing now to exude an attitude of confidence, success and significance. Be careful to avoid becoming cocky or taking on delusional confidence as you do this. 66. Make Your Grit Sustainable with Good Habits: The greatest of the greats don't just do these routines for a little while and then stop there sustaining these habits and rituals. But once a habit or rituals established, once it truly becomes a habit or a ritual, then homeostasis is on your side. But to keep it going strong, sustaining your grit still takes conscious thought and some effort, even with a force of nature working to keep your habits in place. New habits form all the time. And desires for change and growth may appear to undermine your grid initiative. First, you need to recognize how good habits can fail. Many people drift away from good habits because they lack the intrinsic motivation and accountability to keep at it solo. Not because they don't want to keep the good habits going. Most people need a partner, motivator, or coach to keep them in sustainable processes. But as a master of grit and as a master of your mind, you're empowered to be your own mentor, your own coach, and your own motivator. 99% of the time speaking, mentors and coaches. It's great when a mentor or a coach can be your grit cheerleader. But unfortunately, he or she isn't present all the time. In grit quarantine situations aren't likely to wait around for your coach to be present before they smack you upside the head. Use your mentor when you can. But you need to be able to sustain your grit as a solo operation to 67. Direct Yourself to Sustained Grit: A second, you need to direct yourself to sustained grid. Learning to sustain your grit is like being an acting coach. The actors have the script, the words in the stage queues, but you need to guide them to be the best performance of that script catches your both the director and the actor. Write these down with me. There are three ways to self-correct for sustained grid. First, assign yourself and activity goal. Second, watch and reflect on your performance. Third, make the correction. So once you have established and grown your grid, it's conscious effort that sustains it and ensures you make use of it as much as possible. Assign yourself so sorta number you need to achieve. It has to be something you can measure because you cannot manage what you can't measure. Caveman and management you can't measure. It also has to be something that requires grit. The point of this is not to prove you can set easy goals and achieve them. You're practicing in sustaining your grid. So choose appropriately. The higher your grit scale, the more challenging your assignment it will need to be. Now to stay in your grid at a high level to sustain it, you have to face situations which require you to feel the need to be gritty and not just do it instinctively unless you can videotape yourself. Step 2 is going to have to be a reflection on the situation. How did you perform? Did you hit the activity goal you set for yourself? Why or why not? If not, Could any of your own actions have changed the outcome if you weren't successful, which is very possible if you selected a grit necessitating activity for yourself. Now you make the correction. Where did you step back instead of forward? Find the moment during which your resolve faltered and you gave up. Instead of persevering, talk or think through how to change that going forward in measure your same activity in the near future. 68. Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: The last step is to focus on solutions and not problems. They see there isn't a magic pill you can take. There's no perfect formula, no secret steps that will up your grit scale by two points. You internalize the habits to strengthen your resolve. Now, you have to reinforce it through practice. Grit is developed slowly over time in the face of adversity. You can't just talk about it. You have to do it. You can't just do it once. You have to do it constantly. But when the average person gets not bound, her mind starts thinking negatively and that is why she loses some for grittiness. She gets lost. They get about the problem instead of the solution. And she's mired in the negativity, she needs to purge. It's time for you to do solution oriented thinking. You need to move from negative thinking over here to positive thinking over here. And to do that, you must sustain your grit in the face of adversity by changing your focus from problems to solutions. And grit comes in when you have to utilize a learning while you're scared, nervous, or uncomfortable. If you don't have grit, you're gonna put your tail between your legs and go after something else to grow your grit, defy that urge to tuck the tail and run. Put yourself in situations where you might want to give up and leave, but instead, stay true to your passions and look past the problem staring you down. You need to create an environment that's conducive to your goals. Remember why you chose this path. Remember it. Remember where you are and when you faced adversity so that you don't give up bats grit. And the more you practice it, the more you have it, and the more sustainable it is. 69. Activity Self Coach to Sustain Your Grit: It's your turn to self coach to sustain your grids so that you can become a master of your grid. Step 1, set a measurable activity goal that will require grit, passion, perseverance in the face of a challenge that's great to achieve it. Write it down. Step two, after you've completed the work for your activity, reflect on how you did trying to achieve it. How did you perform? Did you hit the activity goal you set for yourself? Could any of your own actions to change the outcome? Step 3, self-correct your actions and determine if anything could have been improved to result in a better outcome. Why did you stop back instead of forward? Why did you resolve falter? Why did you give up? Instead of persevering? Step 4, write down what you'll do differently when faced with that situation in the future. Step 5, set another activity goal and use what you wrote in step 4. And that is how you build and maintain grit. 70. Grow Yourself Faster and Stronger by taking a Risk: I'm going to show you how to grow yourself and your career in life faster and stronger by learning how to take a risk in a healthy and productive way to get yourself to where you are today. What risks did you have to take? A lot of times business leaders will tell you that they had to risk everything. Other people will say they only had to risk a little bit, but everyone likely had to take some risks in their life of some kind. A thing about it, had you not taken the risks you've taken, how would that have turned out for you? What would have happened with your business or your life, or your relationships, or your current position. Most people will tell you they wouldn't be where they are had they not taken the risks. Think about tomatoes. They're either green and growing or ripened, rotting. What about the people who say, Well, I've already taken my risks. I put in my dues, I've taken my lumps and now I'm going to enjoy this thing. Well, if that's where you're at, then you just need to accept the fact that you're ripe and rotting. And that's fine. You're cool with a if that's your value, It's okay. A tomato is rot on the vine fine for a while. This chapter is for the people who want to always be green and growing your life, your career, your relationships, or your business. It doesn't get the opportunity to grow or to grow nearly as fast as it does when you take risks, regardless of what industry you're in, you have to take risks at some point. If you're not taking risks and changing and evolving, then you're likely ripe and rotting. If you don't like taking risks, you still need to get used to doing it because that's part of life and that's part of business and careers. If you're seeing that you've already taken enough risks in your life, and you're wondering, well, why should you take more risks than you're arguing with reality? Complaining about taking risks is kind of like living in the North Pole and complaining about the fact that it's cold in the winter. And the reality is that it's cold and North Pole in the winter and successful people need to take risks. That's the reality. Taking risks also frees up your time. Many great leaders by virtue of taking risks, are now working less time than they did before. As a result, they made, we'll have more time than they had previously. They, they built a team of people that take a lot of the obligations that they have off their plate. This gives them freedom to spend more time with family, hobbies and dreams. They're not so tied down. They can still choose to do work for those days, but it's not like they have days scheduled out. All of that newfound freedom is a direct result of taking risks. When you take more risks, you earn more respect. The thinking your head right now about those people that you respect or society respects that have taken no risks, can you come up with anybody? The answer is likely know, the people who are the most successful, Happy, have the most freedom and life. Who people respect them most have one big thing in common. They have all taken a ton of risks. It could be calculated risks. They can win almost every single time, but they're taking risks. Why is it that people who are risk takers are so respected? Well, the answer, Sibyl, most people find it very difficult to take risks. It, when you take risks you earn respect because you do things that others only wish they could have done, but they didn't do it. It's very difficult to take risks. This is why people tend to be jealous of risk-takers. Let's say your best friend puts himself out there, becomes very successful. Let's say you did not. Now suppose your best friends risks worked. He's a huge success. Well then who are you? Who does that make you? Safety comes from staying the same. You used to be exactly the same and your best friend decided to take a risk and make a change and you stayed the same. What happens is that it totally disrupts the status quo because your friend took a risk, but you stayed safe by being the same. Careful of the crabs in your life bucket. You've ever watched a crab tried to get out of a bucket full of crabs. It's not easy for the crab to do it, because as the crab climbs out of the bucket, the other crabs try to pull him down. It's the same with you and the risks you take. Think of it like the elevator of success. As you take more risks in your life, you go up that elevator of success. You get off on a higher floor. And all of the sudden, the people who were at the floor with you and 4, 1 and your life start to feel resentful or hurt. You're going to learn how to deal with those people. In this session. I'm going to show you three ways in this session to take a risk in a healthy way. First, you'll learn how to create a safety net for yourself. Second, you'll learn how to conduct a risk audit in your life. Third, you'll learn how to execute on that risk in your life. 71. Create a Safety Net by Determining if It’s a Viable Risk: A successful entrepreneur once said that to be a success in any business or in life, you have to be willing to fall backwards. Knowing there might be a net below you, but not knowing how far off the ground and that is. Have you ever felt that way in your life or in your business or your family when you take risks. By creating a safety net, we're creating a safe environment for you to take a risk. And in order to do that first, you need to determine if it's a viable risk and see the way our brain works anytime we take a risk is by thinking, we're going to live in a van down by the river. This whole charade is going to just fall to pieces. One of the best ways to alleviate that fear, to make good decisions. The problem is that many people, business leaders, entrepreneurs, others struggle with this. Well, what if there were a logical, easy way to make decisions that involved risks? There is. And here's how you do it for anytime you're faced with a choice in life, if you have any risk you're contemplating in your life that may help you with the exponential growth in your life. Then to decide, you can ask these two questions. Number 1, if you make this decision and you get it right, how does it change your life? Number 2, if you make this decision, you get it wrong. How does it change your life? Once you have the answer to these two questions, you can more easily see if the risk is a viable risk or a dumb thing to consider. You can see what would happen if it works out horribly. And if it works out well, you can see if it works out horribly, for example, that you're still okay. You can see if it works out great, what positive things will take place. Now if the answer to the question about getting it right suggests there's at least some positive things that can take place for you and your life will then right there, you know, this risk may at least have some merit. Let's analyze this. Let's analyze this two question technique with some examples. For the first example, let's start with hiring somebody. Now you might not have a business, but stay with me on this. If you make the right decision to hire somebody, the right person and you get it right. How does it change your life? Well, for a small business owner, it may make it so you only have to work four days a week instead of five days a week. If you were to hire somebody for three to five months and you get it wrong, you may lose ten to $20 thousand, but then it doesn't change anything beyond that. So let me ask you which of the decisions above that I just explained changes your life the most? When you look at the pros and cons to hiring somebody, at least you're now creating a safety net for yourself to make a decision. If you hire this person and you put $9 thousand into him, it doesn't change your lifestyle all that much. If you're a business doing well. If it does work out, things will be way better. Even if you're a business doing poorly. In this case, there's way more upside, in my opinion than there is downside. Well, let's look at another example. Suppose you've got $2 million to your name. Suppose also that you're financially independent. You can leave the money sitting in cash and never have to run out of money again. Now, suppose your buddy comes to you and says he needs a million dollars to invest in his company. That million dollars could make the company worth a billion dollars, or the company could lose everything. Should you take this risk? Well, to answer this question, even if the scenario never affected you, watch this. Let's go back to the two questions you can ask yourself to create more safety, to make this decision. If the company makes a billion dollars, how does that change your life? Now much, you may be able to buy a bigger yacht. That's pretty much it. But if you lose the money, then you may have to go work for the next 10 years. And in this case there's way more downside, then there is upside. 72. Create Safety Parameters: Well, once you've determined if it's a viable risk, you need to create safety parameters for yourself. The safety parameter is the point at which you say this decision didn't work out. And enough is enough. If you don't create safety for yourself, you never change. The safety perimeter defines how much you can risk and put out on the line. Before you say enough is enough. Safety primer helps you avoid the van down by the river mentality. Because it, once you decide your life is better off if you make a decision to take a risk. In this case, let's say you hire that staff member, then you want to create safety parameters around that decision to hire that staff member to allow yourself to feel better about making that decision. Suppose the person you want to higher costs $3 thousand a month. Let's just say that's what it is. If you choose to hire that person for three months, then you're betting $9 thousand that this is a smart thing to do at the end of the three months. If it's not working out, then you've already put your plans safety net into motion. There. It's not working out. You fire that staff member. 73. Activity Create a Safety Net for Yourself : Let's do an activity for you to try this. It's your turn to create a safety net for yourself. Step 1, identify a risk you're contemplating in your life right now that may help you with exponential growth in your life. To make a decision. Answer the following questions. If you make this decision and you get it right, how does it change your life? If you make this decision and you get it wrong, how does that change your life? Step 2, if the answer to the question about getting it right suggests there's at least some positive things that can take place for you in your life. Then right there, you know, this risk may at least have some merit. Step 3, decide what the safety parameters are going to be for the risk above. In step 2, IE, how much you can risk and put out on the line before you say enough is enough. 74. Conduct a Risk Audit: The next step is to create a risk audit. And the first section of this session we dealt with the more intangible risk items. This section will help you to make the decision to make a risk more tangible. For example, suppose after the first section of this chapter, you now feel like if you hire a new staff member for $9 thousand for three months and you lose the money, you'll be okay. Now you're proving it to yourself. In this section, we're going to prove it. To start, you need to put your decision on paper. You may know from your accounts receivable that you have the money to pay for this person. You may know you have the money in cash and you're going to get this $9 thousand and set it aside and do an audit to determine if your intuition or your hunch is actually backed up with Logic. You see it's taking whatever you realized is a potentially viable risk from the two questions we learned earlier in the previous section of this session. And simply put it on a piece of paper or in a spreadsheet to make real data to support it. Let's take a look at an example of a real risk audit. So a businessman named Edward decided to join forces with another businessman named Matt. Uh, both were very successful in their own right. And even if you're not a business person, watch us, it'll help you. When they got this idea. They started by asking the following two questions. Number 1, if you make this decision and you get it right, how does it change your life? And number two, if you make this decision and you get it wrong, how does it change your life? So each of them felt that there was more up side than there was downside to go into business together. However, that wasn't enough data to make the decision. They decided to perform a huge risk audit. Now there are two key pieces of a risk. Odd, number 1 is time and number two is money. So it wasn't until they perform this risk audit that Edward realize what this would really mean for his business? It meant he would have to change the people he was reaching out to. And the way he went about reaching out to them, instead of making revenue, now, he had to set himself up to make revenue down the line. Edward had to look at how much income was coming in based on the renewals of his current customers in all the other companies he was involved in. He had to look at how much money he could afford not to make. Now, he had to put it on an Excel spreadsheet in detail out all the monthly expenses and the expenses of all his different businesses. He then needed to figure out, okay, how much revenue do I need to come in to make sure I'll be okay. 75. Decide What Would Need to Change: Now the next step is to decide what would need to change. A risk audit allowed Edward to figure out exactly how much he was willing to forego now to gain more in the future. So he, once he used this spreadsheet to conduct this risk audit, Edward realized some things need to change. To actually pull this off successfully. He needed reuses overhead significantly. This including staff expenses, marketing expenses, operational expenses such as his office expenses, his computer expenses, and all the other things needed to run his business, his operational overhead needed to go down, get it to go down. Edward and Matt needed to work out a deal where they were able to do a sharing of the costs. That way, Edwards expenses went down. Now when this happened, keep listening because this will affect you, I promise when this happen, mats expenses went up. It was a shift of expenses in an exchange Edward staff that shifted. It started serving some of the roles that we're missing in Matt's team in mat needed to hire those people anyway, so it worked out pretty well. So the risk audit, it verified a win-win for both Matt and Edward. 76. Be Really Honest with Yourself: So what about you? What should you do when you perform your own risk audit? Well, a risk audit comes down either time or money. Those are the two things that you're really auditing. You want to be very real about both of these variables. And to do this, you need to be really honest with yourself. In other words, don't fluff the numbers. There are two keys to conduct a risk risk audit for yourself. First, overestimate the revenue you'll need. Second, overestimate the hours or the time you'll need. Then apply the 20% rule. C. The goal is to be more conservative in your risk audit, then you may even naturally be whatever time or money you think it may take, add 20 percent to the bottom line. For example, suppose you need a $100 thousand per year to live your current lifestyle. Well, when you create your life budget, you want to be sure to create a budget that is setup for $120 thousand per year. 77. Activity Conduct A Risk Audit: Well, let's stop right now and take all this and apply it to your life. It's your turn with this activity to conduct a risk audit for yourself. Step one, take the risk you're contemplating from the first activity in this session and detail out in an Excel spreadsheet or any other document, all of the monthly expenses in time associated with that risk. Step to answer the following questions for that risk number 1, if you make this decision, you get it right. How much money will you make? Number two, if you make this decision, you get it wrong. How much money will you give up? Number 3, if you make this decision, you get it right. How much time will it take and, or how much time will it save you? And then number four, if you make this decision and you get it wrong, how much time will you have given up? Step 3, based on the data that you just learned, summarize how much money and time you would be willing to forego now to gain more in the future. And then step four, apply the 20% rule to the steps that we just laid out to determine exactly how you would come up with that money. And that time. By first, overestimate the revenue you'll need by 20 percent. Second, overestimate the hours you'll need by 20% 78. Execute on the Risk with an Accountability Partner: Now the final stage in this session is to show you how to execute on the risks so you can achieve your goals. Here's the thing. It's not that people don't know, they should stay in shape, eat healthy food, save money. It's just that they don't do it. Executing on the risk falls under that same category. Now this has huge implications for goal setting and goal achieving. It's the accountability piece to actually make it happen. And your first step is to find an accountability partner. You created a safety net for yourself by asking the two key questions earlier. You've done a risk audit with your Excel spreadsheet or another document, and you've added your 20 percent. Now, you're ready to execute on that risk. And to do that, you need to find somebody to hold you accountable. That person holds you accountable to putting yourself out there. For example, when it comes to hiring someone, you need to find somebody to hold you accountable to actually hiring somebody. Now that person may hold you accountable to start the interview process or even to put yourself out there to do the research in the first place. But the key is that they're holding you accountable. Now there are some things that you may need people to hold you accountable for. And there's some you don't. Laura, for example, the sales executive works out seven days a week. She doesn't work out with anybody else. She doesn't take any classes. She literal, he just gets on the treadmill and runs seven days a week. That's just what she does. She doesn't need anybody to hold her accountable to working out. But there are other things in Laura's life or she absolutely needs someone to hold her accountable. How do you determine where you need accountability help? Well, you do it by asking yourself this question. Where do you let yourself off the hook in your life? Let's go back to the hiring example from earlier in this session. But what's going to stop you from hiring somebody? Well, if there's anything that can come up in the way, it would stop you from hiring somebody and you've got to find an accountability partner to help you with that. The best accountability partners are those who matter to you. The best accountability partner candidates for you in your life come from a one of five places in my personal experience, the first place is a mentor or a coach. The second is your boss, The third is your spouse, the fourth is apparent, and the fifth are your kids. Think about it. If you really want something to happen, try asking one of these people that I just shared with you to hold you accountable. For example, suppose you ask your dad to hold you accountable. If he's calling you up saying, Hey, did you hire that person? It's pretty tough to say to him, Oh, no, I didn't. You don't want to let your dad down. The key is to find someone with no skin in the game. Whichever person you bring on as your accountability partner, that person needs to be somebody who has no vested interest in the decision or risk that you're contemplating. For some risks, certain accountability partners may be just fine. But for other risks, you may need to find somebody else. That way. It's coming purely from a place of good intentions. For example, suppose you ask your spouse to be your accountability partner for hiring somebody. Now the problem with that is that if you hire somebody, probably going to affect your spouse financially. If you ask your dad to be your accountability partner, it doesn't affect him financially, so he'd be a better choice in that case. He may say to you, Well, you asked me to hold you accountable for hiring someone. I'm going to hold you accountable for that. From a non financial standpoint, your spouse may be a fantastic accountability partner. In other areas of your life. The key is to ask your spouse and any accountability partner that you choose to hold you accountable for things that don't affect him or her that much. So here are the top five qualities of accountability partners write these down. Number one, their opinion matters to you. Number two, you don't want to let them down. Number 3, you pick up the phone when they call. In other words, they listened to you and you listen to them. Number 4, you respect them. Number five, you talk to them on a regular basis. 79. Create an Accountability Game Plan with Your Partner: Your job as a human being is not to change. Your jobs to stay the same. And you're going to naturally want to let yourself off the hook on this whole idea. You wouldn't be creating an accountability plan with an accountability partner. If you weren't susceptible to this, for you to make changes and set yourself up for success. You don't want to leave it to chance. Therefore, as soon as you have made the commitment and you've come up with your execution plan, you need to have a timeframe, timeframe to execute that plan. And you can start by asking that person to call you at the end of the week. If it's a short-term goal, it may sound something like this. Hey Dad, can you call me at the end of the week? Now, if it's a continual goal that will take longer than you can ask your accounting accountability partner to call you at the end of the week for the next x number of weeks. Based on the deadline for the goal that you set in your execution plan. It might sound something like this. Dead can you can you call me at the end of the week for the next month? Let's ET cetera, reminder for yourself. The thing is you need to set a reminder for yourself, even if your accountability partner is plenty to call you on a regular basis. You also want to set a reminder for yourself where you'll reach out to that person. If he or she hasn't reached out to you, otherwise, you'll let yourself off the hook. 80. Deal with the Crabs in Your Life: Do you remember the crabs we talked about earlier? Try to pull you down as you climb out of the bucket or out of the elevator of life. Remember as you take more risks in your life, you go up that elevator of success. And when you go up that elevator, as you take more and more risks, well, you're going to have people who start to exit your life. And they're going to feel resentment for you because you're taking risks. What, what's interesting is that it actually has nothing to do with you at all. It has everything to do with their own issues. When you get out of the bucket and you look down at all those other crabs and they're looking, they're looking up at you. They may say something like this. Well, he must achieve it. He must have stepped on one of the crabs heads. Now the key to handling these crabs is to ask yourself the same two questions we asked earlier in the session. First, if you make this decision and you get it right, how does it change your life? Second, if you make this decision, you get it wrong. How does it change your life? And you then go right back to weighing the pros and the cons. Here's the most common threads among very successful people. And they're very clear by the way, you want to know what they are. First one is they've all failed. The second is they see their failures as stepping stones to their successes. 81. Know Who You Are As You Take Risks: If you follow these two most common threads of successful people, then you can do the next step, which is to know who you are as you take risks and have an idea of who you are. So at the end of the day, you're going to either have epic successes, are you going to have abject failure should try it on both. Knowing who you are helps you get through both. So how do you know who you are? The answer to that question isn't found in how you feel when you're listening to this program or when you're with your friends, coworkers. What matters is how you feel when you turn the lights off at night and you're staring up at the ceiling. That's the feeling that matters. That's where your inner demons come out. And these inner demons make you stare up at the ceiling and they say, it's too painful, I can't do this. And you may then end up abandoning your original decision. You may wake up the next morning until your new staff member. I can't hire you anymore. Even though that next week may have been when that staff member would have had a breakthrough. You also need to know when to burn the ship. If you do a risk audit and you realize you have a good plan that's worth the risk, then you should follow through with it. When, when are you going to go through these risks and these changes? When you do that, you may want to abandon the ship at various stages in the process. Don't burn the ship. It'll be tough to do this, but you must stick with it. The worst thing you can do is if the audit told you to sink a bunch of money in this thing is burn the ship. Many times people out of fear when they're staring up at the ceiling at night say, Oh, why didn't the world did I get myself into? If you burn the ship out of fear, then you end up shooting yourself in the foot. You lose money, you lose time, you lose everything else. But if you didn't do a risk on it and you took a big risk that you now realize was the wrong decision. Well then the worst thing you can do is not to burn the ship. Even if you put a bunch of money into it, you may need to burn the ship. The key is to let the real you, not your fear, drive the decision on when to burn the ship. Now to do that, you have to know who you are and that's why calculated risk based on the risk audit is so important. Once you make the decision based on that risk audit, then you can stick with that decision. Even when you're looking at the ceiling in the middle of the night. That's what matters. What's going through your head at that time is what matters. And this is where you find out who you are. This is where you do the soul searching and find out who you are as a human being. Who are you as a human being? What does it mean for you to be human and be on this earth? What impact do you want to have? Let's say after all this soul searching, you feel like you're a nice person. Well, once you realize this, then it, if you lose all the success, you lose all the money, even lose your family. Doesn't matter if you know in your core of who you are. It doesn't matter what happens in your life. You can always bank on this notion. Now, if you have a shaky foundation, there's no point in building an ability. But knowing who you are as a person doesn't mean you have to have it all together. That's not a foundation. That's a charade for you. Knowing who you are. Maybe knowing that you care. You may care about the well-being of others. So how do you figure this out for yourself? You need to ask yourself this question. Who was the five-year-old version of you? As a child? All you can be as you, society really hasn't screwed you up too much. If you look at the five-year-old version of yourself plane in the playground. Who was that person? Why do kids want to play with that person? When you were five years old, did you have the leadership position? You have now? No. It didn't matter to find this out. Go ask people who knew you when you were five, or go ask a life coach to help you figure this out. But once you know who you are, we'll then is you're taking this risk, whether it's success or fail. You're always going to have this. You know, who you are. 82. Activity Execute on the Risk: Let's do an activity to help you figure this out. It's your turn to execute on your risk. Step 1, identify an accountability partner with no skin in the game, who will hold you accountable for putting yourself out there and executing on that risk. Choose from a mentor, a boss, a spouse, a parent, a kid, or somebody else. Step to decide on the accountability game plan timeline for which you'd like your accountability partner to hold you accountable. Example, at the end of next week's step 3, handle the crabs in your life by reminding yourself of the following two questions for this risk. Number 1, if you make this decision and you get it right, how does it change your life? Number 2, if you make this decision, you get it wrong. How does it change your life? Step 4, write a one-sentence description of who you are as a person, even if all else fails in your life. Who was the five-year-old version of you? Step on, decide now before you take the risk, if you will ever burned the ship, and if so, when you will do that, Good luck. 83. Get a Higher Rate of Return on Your Time: I'm going to show you how you can get a higher rate of return on your time by solving your inefficiencies in every area of your life. Imagine if you had a life that was so efficient, you could spend three months out of your life each year battery in your life, better in your family's life and your community. Solving your inefficiencies is going to give you a higher rate of return on the investment of your time. If you're more efficient at getting things done, well, you now have more time to be away, to be with your kids, be with your spouse, take vacations to go travel with friends. I've spent upwards of three months away from the business and that total includes vacation time and conference time. If you eliminate your inefficiencies, then by definition, you have a more efficient life. By having a more efficient life, your time is more valuable. You're doing more efficient things every day. And because of that, you're earning more money and you're saving time. And that in and of itself will give you a much higher return on your investment than if you didn't solve your inefficiencies. Beyond that, is the impact you get to have on other people's lives as a result of your efficient life. See you'll increase your significance in your impact fold. Once you put these techniques in this session into play, if you're more efficient, you get to spend more time with the right level of people. You get to help people at a higher level, which will then have an impact on their lives, their businesses, their family, and the community at large. The money, it's a nice thing and while it's a motivator, it probably won't surprise you to hear that money is not why I jump out of bed in the morning. The money is a byproduct of why I jump out of bed in the morning. But it's about showing up with the servant's heart mentality. The fact that you get to do well while doing well is the reason while you get out of bed in the morning, aren't you going to have more energy to give away? If you conserve your energy by running a more efficient life, aren't you going to enjoy beam in an environment that's more efficient? Instead of spinning your wheels in a life that's less efficient. There are three ways I'm going to show you in this session on how to solve your inefficiencies in your life. First, you'll learn how to identify your life success process. Second, we'll talk about how to reduce your if inefficient activities. Third, will maximize your goal achieving activities. 84. Identify Your Life Success Process: Let's start with how to identify your life success process. Most people who have less than five years in their career have an informal figure it out as you go process for growing in achieving their goals. Now this can be highly inefficient. This section is going to give you a more formal written plan for how to succeed in the key areas of your life. How to achieve your goals in less time. You'll be able to achieve more goals and take more time off than you would've been able to otherwise. Now you need to start by identifying the critical positive goal achieving activities in your life. I've done lots of coaching over the 27 plus years that I've been in business, in the communication business. And I've also spent a lot of money on that coaching through it all. I've identified seven key steps to business and to life success. Then I'm going to share with you to help you dig deeper in your life and your goals and achieving those goals. Now on the screen, you'll see those seven critical goal achieving activities. First, prioritize your life, determine your goals and priorities. Build accountability for achieving them, and you've learned how to do this in this program. Second, identify and engage your goal advocates, build advocates to introduce you to other key people who can help you achieve your goals. Third, set new higher goals, generate and convert new higher goals. Fourth, market your goals. Build a brand. Set up your marketing strategy to ensure your goals get traction. Fifth, develop your team. Get the right team in place, even if it's just you set those goals, team goals for team success. Six, finder advocates, find professionals in other areas to give you influence with future goals. And seventh, manage your life. Continue to increase your goal-setting and keep that going for years and years to come. Now, once you have this list of seven critical activities, you want to dig deeper and formalize the process. For each one. We're not suggesting that you're not already doing these seven things above that I just talked about. Everyone can do these seven things, but digging deeper in one area each month is what I recommend, will be a tremendous goal booster. You're not shutting your life down trying to do all seven of those things at once and then flipping the switch back on saying you're open again for life. Instead, once a month, you're just taking yourself offline in going really deep for a few hours or even a full day in one of these seven areas. And by the time seven months have gone by, well, you've done in dig deep, a dig deep ban all seven areas. But to master these seven critical areas in your life, considering getting a coach and work on each of these areas with your coach. I recommend you work on one each month and rotate the areas for seven months and then start again. 85. Do a Time Audit of Your Life: Now the next step is to do a time audit of your life. I love this one. You might be thinking you're doing well in these seven areas already. You might think everything in your life is going just fine. However, when you actually step outside your life and look at it, or have somebody else look at for you. You may realize that things aren't as fine as you thought they were. Whatever you're doing right now, a timeline, it can help you take those seven critical areas of your life to that next level, a time audit. It's a simple tool to time your daily tasks. And you can do the audit yourself or ask somebody else to do it. Now you can start simply by getting an idea of the length of time it takes you to do the things in your life and your career, your business, or your family relationships on a typical day. To do this, you want to break down each 15 minute segment of your day. As you work, simply enter into a log what you doing during each of those 15 minute increments. If you work in eight hour day, you would have 32 slots to fill. The best-case scenario is to do the time audit for one week. This allows you to identify the trends in how you use your time. Here's a few examples of things you would write in each of those 15 minute slots. Number one, preparing business to doing office work. Three, phoning for approaching new opportunities. Five, meeting with family or clients staff. Six, walking around the officer talking about football. Seven, interface and on social media. Eight, answering texts, what time am I going to be home tonight? Nine watching the news online. I did you notice the items I just shared that represent inefficient use of your time and the items that represent an inefficient use of your time. 86. Identify Your Inefficient Activities: Next, you want to identify your inefficient activities. So it's now time to use that time audit to create your most amazing future. And many people would make the argument here at everything they do is getting them closer to a most amazing future. But your time audit will show you the reality of whether that is in fact true. It will identify trends for you. As you ask yourself one crucial, crucial question for each activity you documented in the time odd. Here's the question. Is this activity getting me closer to or further away from the life that I'm pursuing. Now there are two types of activities that people do. The first are positive goal achieving activities. The second are non-positive goal achieving activities. The time Audit allows you to become more proactive as opposed to reactive with your time. For example, suppose one of your goals is phoning clients. You may find that you're getting in at 930 instead of 730. And that two hour difference allows you only 30 minutes or even eight minutes on the phone each day instead of a full hour. Now you can start to be proactive about your phoning rather than reactive. So you should document each of your 15 minute time slots for one week. When you do, you will have over 160 different time slots with an activity next to each one. The question now becomes, how do you categorize that list so that you can quickly ascertain whether you're being efficient or not. Remember, efficiency leads to greater goal achievement. Here's an example for a person in the business world, this totally applies to any other situation too. You must ask yourself for each activity where the action helps you achieve your goals are not. To make that really simple, you can create a table and put each activity from your time audit into one of the two columns in a goal table. Like this. 87. Activity Identify Your Goal Success Process: It's your turn to identify your goal success process. Step 1, identify the top five to ten positive goal achieving activities in your life. Step 2, if you can't think of these, try filling out the table with the activities of your most recent day in your life. 88. Reduce Inefficient Activities: Okay. So you've written down your time audit activities and categorize them in a manner similar to what we talked about in the previous section. Now, in addition, you've categorized them into one column of positive goal achieving activities and another column of not so positive achieving activities. If you haven't done that, by the way, stop the tape, go do it. But now it's time to maximize your positive goal achieving activities. And there's two ways to do this. The first way is to remove non positive activities real-life. Say no to them. The second way is to delegate to somebody else the low positive goal achieving activities in your life that you need to keep doing. Let's start with the first one, removing all the non-positive goal achieving activities. You may have 90 things you're doing every week that are positive, goal achieving things that are really important for your life. And 70 things that are not achieving your goals. Well, the next step is to take everything on the right-hand side of the list and remove it. Now these actions don't achieve any goals for you. So they're not something you want to do during your golden hours. You need to maximize your golden hours. So what are golden hours? What your golden hours, the hours you have available during business time to spend with achieving your goals. And as time is absolutely precious, you want to maximize those golden hours as much as possible with activities that give you the highest goal at the time racial possible. Are you more focused on logging the hours of your life or business than what you put into the hours. To maximize your golden hours, you want to eliminate or minimize everything in the right-hand column of your time audit table. In other words, get rid of watching the news and walking around the office talking about baseball or basketball game during the golden hours, many people waste time with inefficient activities because they're chasing the wrong goals. And they often don't have the courage to confront the reality of this opportunity. They're not willing to address something because they aren't looking for it's as a result, they spend resources chasing down something that's never going to happen. Some refer to this as plane for the artificial versus reality. Still other people are inefficient because they're unwilling to confront others who may not be the right fit for the job. Eliminating other people who are a poor fit for a certain task. We'll get a person to where it should be, where he or she should be. On the other hand, people turnover can be a huge inefficiency as well. So there are also those people who neglect spending quality time on continued education. And this can contribute to inefficiency as you walk by opportunities that you may not even be aware of because you're not continually sharpening the saw like you are in this program right now. So here are the top five ways people don't value their time. First, they waste golden hours, they waste that time. Second, there are understaffed or they aren't delegating key things in their life. Third, they're chasing a goal rather than doing what we're learning in this session forth, they're unwilling to confront others. And lastly, they ignore a continued education like this program right here. 89. Delegate Activities to Someone Else: So we've now eliminated or isolated the activities that produce 0 goal achievement for your life and move you further away from your target. So the activities that are on the left of the list are the activities that get you closer to the vision you're trying to achieve for yourself in attained for your life. Once you've identified all the ones on the left that are remaining, the next step is to identify those activities that you should do. And also the ones that you want to delegate to someone else. You're only one person. You want to maximize the activities that help you achieve the biggest, most important goals. And then give all your other activities to people you hire or delegate them in another way. And now the first step to do that is to identify the value of your time. How do you identify the value of your time? Well, one way to figure out what your time is worth is to look at what you made last year and divide it by the number of hours you worked. Once you discover what your time is really worth to you per hour, well then you can start to determine which of the revenue producing activities you want to keep for yourself in which you want to give away to others. Now to do that, try this, try answering the following questions. Which items on that list gets you closer to the kind of life you want to have. If you can hire or delegate somebody to do the less essential tasks for a lower dollar rate than what your time is worth? Well, wouldn't that be more efficient? And how many activities are the highest and best use of your time? Which activities are the biggest positive goal achieving or maximum revenue producing activities that you can personally do the best. Which activities can you hire for or delegates somebody else to do for less money it for our than what you get paid. This will free you up to do more of the higher goal producing, higher revenue producing kinda work that only you can do. So what can you delegate to somebody who makes less than what your time is worth? So that all you're doing, doing that during the day is achieving the key goals. The high revenue producing activities and building the kind of life that you want a half. Here's the bottom line. Be yourself, not your assistant. You can be yourself or you can be the assistant or associate. You associate yourself, but being yourself pays more than being the assistant or associate yourself. And once you understand the value of your time, you start to realize that you're wasting a lot of it on inefficient activities. For example, many people are understaffed. They're not taking advantage of the highest and best use of their time because they're constantly being pulled away from a higher value work to do lower value work. Or by doing the time study that we talked about in this session, you can start to see which activities on the left-hand side, our assistant or associate activities, in which activities over here are for you. And as you look at your table of activities, start to think more about what it is you want it to hand off. And when. 90. Activity Reduce Inefficient Activities: It's your turn to reduce inefficient activities. Step 1, identify the top five non-positive goal achievement activities in your life that you will stop doing during your golden hours. Make a commitment to stop doing them in the next month because they're not positive. Step to identify which of your positive goal achieving activities are worth less than what you can earn? If you focus on other things. Those are the things you want to hire out if possible, versus doing yourself. Step three, identify which of those low revenue producing activities you can give away to your current staff or to somebody else that you could hire so that all you're doing or the high revenue producing activities that are also high goal achieving activities. Step 4, if possible, make a plan to hire a staff member in the next three months to give away more of those low revenue pretty soon activities so that all you're doing are the high revenue producing activities. 91. Maximize Your Goal Achieving Activities: It's now time to maximize your goal, achieving activities. Think about all the things we've addressed already in this lesson. And now imagine you've already done all the things you've learned so far in this session for your life. That would mean you have identified the high goal activities in your life, the high revenue producing activities. You've identified, which of those high positive revenue producing goal achieving activities are worth less than what you can earn if you focus on other things. You've discovered the things you want to delegate out versus doing yourself. You've completed your time on it, which told you what your high goal achieving high revenue activities are. And you started to give some of the low revenue producing activities away. So that all you're doing are the high revenue producing, high goal achieving activities. You have reduced or inefficient activities. You may even have hire new staff recently. Let's say you've done all these things. The question now is, how do you maximize your high revenue? High goal achieving activities? Well, you can start maximizing your HIV positive goal, achieving high revenue producing activities by maximizing the goals. And the people you work with. 92. Start the next section of this chapter called Find Your BHAGS: First, you need to find your b hashtags, big, hairy, audacious goals. And the key to maximizing your goals is to look for these beehives. These are the goals and the people that fall under the category of the big, hairy, audacious goals. They're the people and the goals that scare you. They're the people who make you uncomfortable just by being alive. You probably around people who are behaves there, the big kahuna us, roughly 20 percent of the people that you put yourself in your life and in your life with every quarter should be behaves. And the more time you spend with the big kahuna is the bags, the more quickly you are going to be growing upwards and your goals in your life, the more time you currently spend with people who make you feel comfortable along here, you're going to stay exactly where you're at. But on the other hand, when you spend time with people who scare you, you'll catapult your life, your counterpart, your career, your business, your relationships in no time flat. Let me tell you a story that illustrates a really great example about a B hashtag. A father-in-law sold his company for a billion dollars. He gave each of the kids five million dollars. One of the kids was a prospect of a Financial Grep. We'll call him Steve. And he knew John, a financial rapid Steve brought John in on the case. Now this prospect whose father-in-law is worth a billion dollars and whose siblings each have $5 million, had a lot of other people, as you can imagine, competing for his newfound wealth. Many people wanted to be his wealth management adviser. While Steve brought John in, and together, they were able to ensure a significant amount of insurance in a significant amount of investment assets. They gained referrals to others who were in a similar situation to Steve's prospect. Now, Steve was only three years in the business. He was laying a good foundation. Steve was doing his phoning with his prospects and clients who was doing his prospecting. He was had a lot of clients per year that he was finding, but he hadn't created the kind of revenue he wanted in sales yet. But this joint work with John helped Steve on this front. Steve got 40% of the revenue for this prospect. But more importantly, he learned lessons from John that he can now use in the business when he works with other behaves similar to this process. So how does this relate to you? Successes in measured by the number of months you've been working on a goal or a career. Success is measured by the activity you put inside of those months. And this is all about maximizing positive goal, achieving high revenue producing activities. You see it's not just the things Steve learned with John at that higher level that enabled him to talk to other people at that level. Steve also took things from that higher-level meeting, meetings that were more in his comfort zone. Steve didn't even need John for those regular meetings, but his work with John helped them be more productive in that space. He's getting a win-win. And the same is true for you. In one to two months. You can work with a new level of Bihar tags for your goals with another person, for example, who is more advanced in the area of your life or your career or your business that your goals are focused on. 93. Sharpen the Saw: And in order to help you do this, I'm going to show you now how to sharpen the saw. If you're totally comfortable with where you're at, your income, your lifestyle, all your needs and your goals are met. Then turn off the video. But if there's anything that's not how you want it to be. In terms of your person, your life, your career, your income, your health, your relationships are what you wanna do for your community or your family. Will then put on your seatbelt. And let's go. You see a lack of continued education efforts can contribute to inefficiency. When you get more and more knowledge, well, you'll know more the science behind the goals you're trying to achieve. And then you're able to identify opportunities that you may have walked by before. When you get more and more knowledge, more and more certifications, you know more of the art behind each of your goals. That's what this program is all about. The people who say they don't need to go, to go grow or go learn. Well, they're not maximizing their high positive goal, achieving high revenue producing activities. But the people who are constantly learning, putting in there one hour per week and practice passing in, assessing themselves. They're crushing life. So check out these two testimonials. One attendee said, since taking this program, I'm setting and meeting goals like crazy. I'm using the techniques, but finding my own style with it. If you can find your own style and then put in some of these techniques. And like me, you'll have goal after goal achieved in one and after this program, I think I'm second in my region for goal production. Attended. Number 2 said, I love how this program is so far. You're just a normal guy and you just have conviction. I think what I got the most out of this is the confidence thing in bringing the energy to my goals. And my achievement ratio went way higher. Goals metrics and achievement have gone up. I've doubled my business. This is what sharpening the saw can do for you. 94. Activity Maximize Your Positive Goal Achieving Activities: So let's do this in practice right now. It's your turn to maximize your positive goal achieving activities. Step one, determine what percentage of your current goals and people in your life that you're working with per quarter or be hashtags, big, hairy, audacious goals and people. Step 2, identify three people in your world who are working with goals at a higher level than you are, and their goals are at a higher level than you are. Step 3, identify one instance in the last month when you didn't stop for continued education. And you could have make a commitment to hit those goals. Today. 95. Practice the Respect that People Gravitate Towards with Positive Boundaries: I'm going to show you how to practice the respect that people gravitate towards by setting positive boundaries in your life. Goal-setting ultimately is often about boundaries, and boundaries are all about respect. Successful people respect themselves by establishing boundaries. The ability to set and enforce boundaries is unique, challenging, and attractive. Most people are bad at it, but those who do it well find that people naturally gravitate to them. And the goal is they're trying to achieve. It's not about respecting other people. That's important. That is not this session. Demonstrate respect for yourself and your values by leveraging boundaries that ensure your choices and actions align with those values. Leveraging the boundaries that keep you true to your values will help you believe in what you're doing and help you believe that you deserve to achieve the key goals in your life. Respect starts with the respect in yourself. You'll never receive the respect you deserve or feel you deserve until it is clear you respect yourself, it would be very difficult to truly respect yourself and not set boundaries for yourself. You could, however, set boundaries without first respecting yourself, that that is not successful behavior. You won't achieve success with your goals until you believe that you deserve respect from yourself. For yourself. You see, most people see respect is something that others should be giving to them. If you respect yourself, you will naturally set healthy boundaries for yourself. And learning to leverage your self-focused boundaries will support your progress to achieving your goals. Use of boundaries on your journey and stain at your goal achievement will bring you more success, happiness, and freedom. First and foremost, people are more attracted to people with boundaries which would generate more success for you. Setting rules to live by and work within and to govern how you interact with the rest of the world that can free you from the weight of constant analysis, decision-making and rationalizing choices. Boundaries give you guidelines for saying no to things. You remove the pressure of how, when, why to say null by creating boundaries. Do that up front before an issue presents itself to free you from some of the stress in each moment. Same no, creates freedom. Boundaries reduces the incidence of instances of why did I get involved in this after you're committed to something that's a life with less regret, boundaries allow you to guide yourself to happiness by eliminating some of the unnecessary, the unpleasant, and the unprofitable goals. And successful boundaries means that you say no to things that don't achieve your goals. And you say no to things that highly successful, insignificant people that have already achieved your goals wouldn't do. Let me ask you a question. With the most successful people that you look up to spend time working on things that don't align with their goals. At this point in your life and your career, you need to operate with a mindset, priorities and with boundaries that align with the success and significance of people who have achieved what you are aiming for. There are three ways we're going to discuss in this session how to set positive boundaries. First, you'll identify your positive boundaries. Second, you'll recognize boundaries where you fall short. And third, we'll learn how to enforce boundaries in your life. 96. Identify Positive Boundaries and Promote Goal Success in Your Life: Let's start with identifying your positive boundaries. While there is no master list of positive goal achieving boundaries, university to all successfully people. That doesn't mean we can't start to create one. In this session, I'm going to share with you the positive goal, achieving boundaries that have helped me set and achieve my goals for the past three years. Now because my boundaries are born out of this approach to personal respect, they might not work exactly for you, but minimally use these as inspiration to help you create your own positive goal achieving boundaries, and identify new boundaries that you need for your positive goal achieving longevity. First, you need to promote goal success with others. There are two boundaries that I use to promote goals success with others. First, I have no traditional business meetings after hours. Second, I hold no client meetings unless I'm feeling 90 percent plus. I neither hold nor do I attend any traditional meetings sitting at the desk closing business suit on outside of business hours. It's not that I won't meet with people outside of business hours, but it has to be a non office, non suit environment. You see in my world and after hours meeting is more likely to occur at a pool or a fitness center, talking business in workout clothes with treadmills and swimming suits than it would ever be in my office. Extended a normal business day. Think about this. Why on earth would this be acceptable, professional and positive goal achieving behavior? Making clients workout with me and meet with me at 07:00 PM. It comes down and respect if somebody's willing to work out to get something from me, there, obviously willing to give something. See this illustrates the given received principle. A positive goal achieving successful person expects to give and receive. Whereas non-goal achieving people are driven just to give, give, give, give, or just to receive, receive, receive, receive. Next. I do not meet with people unless I'm feeling at least 90 percent and a 100 percent is the best I've ever felt. Whatever the reasons for less than 90 percent, I haven't taken care of myself this day or week or I didn't get enough sleep, or I had a poor nutritional diet that day, or I'm frustrated with someone bad attitude, et cetera, in any of these events, EI and you have two options. You can force yourself to get to 90%, or you can cancel your meetings for that day or that time. Either way, you need to accept the reality of whatever has you operating at less than 90 percent, put it behind you, admit you were wrong, swallow your pride and then shake it off. Choose to not let it affect you as a human being. When it isn't mental or emotional though, that can be harder or impossible to do. Maybe your allergies are kicking in despite your allergy meds. Maybe you feel sluggish and irritable or tired. If so, except that you are not in a position to meet with people that day or that time and have your staff cancel all your meetings? By the way, I have only canceled meetings two or maybe three times in all of my life in time, in business. Every other time I was able to force myself to that 90 percent. Uh, you can use this power of clearing the calendar sparingly. And only when you truly cannot influence a change, you won't achieve as many goals if you're consistently operating at 60 percent. So either get it out of your head and put the emotions aside and commit to 90 percent or don't waste your effort at anything less. 97. Demonstrate Positive Goal Achieving Boundary Practices : Now it's time to demonstrate goal achieving boundary practices. And there are three ways to do it. First, don't spend time with people who don't move you towards your goals. Second, do not personally do any work that doesn't generate enough and goal achievement. Third, always be learning something personally and professionally. You need to surround yourself with people that will advance you on your path to your goals or help you stay there. Don't spend time with people that don't move you in the direction of your goal status. So being selective with your professional and social circle, It's not snobbery. It's not that Suzy Q down the block doesn't deserve your time. It has more to do with the fact that associated with her doesn't help you move your goals in the right direction. Or your cousin with a narrow belief about the level of success that people can achieve. No matter how nice he is. That mindset, It's not going to support your progress to your goals. Never cut someone out based on intense emotions because you're mad at them. It always comes down to the role that person can play in supporting you directly or emotionally on your path to your vision and your goals. Keep the people who believe in you, who believe in your work, who believe in your achievements, keep the advocates, the beehives, outsource to your team members or others, outside companies, colleagues, friends, or even family members. Any work that is too low in goal or income generation or too high in hours of effort for that goal or income. Determine your line in the sand. How much does a task have to generate an income before it's worth your time and effort. For me personally, anything that I can hire out for less than $50 an hour is outsourced. If the skill required to complete a task will cost even slightly more than $50 an hour, then I still do the work myself for now. The exception to this is that any task for which you lack the skills or expertise to complete? Well, that must be outsourced regardless of the cost. If you don't know how to upgrade the security applications on the office computers, you need outsource it to the experts. Here are some examples of things I've outsourced based on this criteria. You don't have to do these. These are just examples to help you see this. Filtering emails, phoning, managing my calendar, bookkeeping, payroll, accounting, grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house. Yep. That's right. Your personal life is fair game. You can use boundaries to demonstrate positive goal achieving practices at home. And that's the difference between being achieving goals and not achieving goals. Goal-setting takes it to the personal round two. And it's not about not doing things because you think you're better than somebody who will do. It's not about that. It's not because you're too special to mow the lawn. You need to focus your time on the things that will help you achieve your goals and move you ahead in your career or your life. You wouldn't expect the President personally shovel the driveway to the White House. It wouldn't be a good use of his time. If shoveling your driveway is not a therapeutic activity, that gives you time to think, reflect, and plan, then find somebody who's willing to do that task. Lastly, demonstrate your goal achieving practices by putting enrichment before entertainment. I have established that I will always be learning something to ensure that I am never ceasing to grow. Enriching your mind whenever possible, and not just passively consuming entertainment is something that most people could benefit from. 98. Protect Your Mental and Emotional Health: Next, you need to protect your mental and emotional health. Now there are four boundaries for you to protect your mental and emotional health. First, do not spend a single day on autopilot. Second, believed the success you have and the success you desire. Third, take a pause when entering fight or flight mode. Forth. Do not intentionally operate and Cohen native stress. Let's dive in each one of these. First, make life intentional. Be in control of your day. Always be aware of where you are, what's going on, how you're operating. If you're going to have a conversation with a friend or colleague, there has to be a purpose and an intention to it. Even if it's just I want to say hi and let you know about how much I care about you instead of him here to do business. So you allowing myself to be unaware of my emotional state and at what percentage I'm operating, it's simply not acceptable to me. Likewise, drifting through the day passively receiving events and experiences in changes is not successful behavior. You've gotta disable the autopilot feature in your life. Take back control. Each and every day. Establish a boundary around negative thinking. But leave the success you have. The success of successful status in all the successive comes beyond that. One of my universal beliefs and core values is that everyone can experience key levels of success. He or she believes in the unlimited potential of success for all people. That includes me. Belief in your own high level success can clear the path that you didn't even realize you were blocking. So when you're confronted with challenging high emotion, gut instincts, situations, force yourself to take time to respond, not just react. When you feel yourself entering that fight or flight mode. Take a pause. Do not subject anyone else to your fight or flight reactions that are likely out of proportion with the realities of modern life. Make a commitment to yourself. This is my issue to work out. I will remove myself from the situation until I have an under control coordinate of stress can easily permeate our lives, especially at work. And while it can't always be avoided, you can choose to not intentionally operate under cognitive stress. I know I could organize that bookkeeping that my bookkeeper does for me, but it's so far outside my striving instinct that I would be exhausted and stressed out doing it no matter how simple it may be for her, I choose not to do it because it is a source of Khanate of stress for me. In even when you cannot avoid all natively stressful tasks and you can't always get what you can choose to not operating in ignorant Lee. Incarnate of stress. Be aware of your Kony of string strengths. The things you naturally do when you're responsible for tasks and you know, when you're required to work outside of AC so you can plan, cope, and manage your frustrations. 99. Activity Identify Your Positive Boundaries in Your Life: Let's do an activity as your turn to establish some boundaries for yourself that demonstrate your respect for yourself and bring you closer to your success. Step 1, review your list of boundaries, indicate which ones you can use exactly and which ones require tweaking to work for you. This is my list of honors, but I want you to review for yourself step to rewrite those boundaries that required tweaking to apply to your life. Skip the ones that are not your tweak boundaries. Skip those. Step 3, specify any details needed to make the boundaries realistic, enforceable, personal. 100. Recognize Boundaries Where You Fall Short : Next, let's talk about how to recognize boundaries where you fall short. Boundaries are meaningless. If you don't enforce them. If you don't know whether or not you're living up to the standards established and protected by your boundaries. The journey to goal achievement and success is going to be even more challenging. You need to know where you fall short, in which boundaries are still allowing unnecessary pain, struggled to enter your life. If you aren't aware of how you measure up against your boundaries, well, you're not going to be able to leverage them to achieve your goals. You can't improve that which you do not measure. If you don't know how you measure up to enforce in your boundaries, you don't really know where you're falling short. And it's awfully ARD to fix the broken ones. When you're throwing darts in the dark. I have ranked my own enforcement and inherence to my goal level boundaries. Now at 10 means I'm doing this each time, every time a situation presents itself, I'm doing it attend. A one is a pipe dream that I have never been successful and sticking to it. So I use whether or not I can recall a time that the boundary wasn't followed as a gauge for the score. For example, I could not recall the last time I put on a suit for an after hours meeting. So that one got a 10. However, the boundary related to money, hourly costs brought to mind at least one exception. So it got an eight. 101. Create Your Own Boundaries: Next, you need to create your own boundaries. Now, earlier in this session, we hinted at the fact that there is no master list of positive goal achieving boundaries. Well, we can use myList is a starting point. Your positive goal, achieving boundaries are created by the successful people who live by them. That means you have to create some of your own to supplement the starter list that I gave you in this lesson. Here's a couple more boundaries that I created so you can check these out. Compare him. What's the process for thinking of your own boundaries? Well, look for areas in life where there's pain. But instead of seeking a resolution outside yourself, find a way to direct the finger of blame inwards. Often there are actions we can each take that will lessen pain that we believe is coming from outside and that we think is being forced on us. So what's the boundary for yourself that if it existed, this pain would be less are gone entirely. If you set this boundary on yourself, then you wouldn't have this issue. We're paying for my boundary and giving to sit examples. You can understand this for fitness. I sourced it from the pain, frustration that I didn't feel I was doing enough aerobic fitness for superior overall health. I had the weightlifting down have that down pat. But I felt I was lacking anaerobically and it was bothering me. A specific example that stood out for me during this reflection was the manual chore of moving a pile of wood. Assure a wheelbarrow makes that an easy task, but a boundary that forces me to carry the wood and develop my aerobic fitness would help address that pain. While doing other tasks. You see boundaries should make you a little uncomfortable because you're establishing boundaries for yourself. Internal rather than to manage others and others actions with you External. Those boundaries should be a bit of a stretch. If it feels easy and requires no conscious thought or active energy or reminding you probably fooling yourself. However, not having any boundary should also be uncomfortable. At least if you're truly seeking to achieve your goals, to hit your success, your significance, your happiness, your freedom in your life, the lack of boundaries to protect and respect yourself should actually be uncomfortable. You see lack of motivation in adhering to your boundaries can undermine the discomfort of not having boundaries. What will keep you motivated to adhere to your boundaries? For me, it's simple, simply painful to do things that don't make me successful. Avoiding that pain and achieving success over and over is great motivation for me. And it can't be for you too. 102. Make Creating and Evaluating Boundaries Routine: Ranking your adherence to boundaries, creating additional ones are not quite all it takes to recognize where you fall short. Those are certainly two critical elements and the huge step in the right direction. But until you make your boundaries routine and make the ranking and creation processes routine, you won't really leverage boundaries to achieve your goals and success. The fact that it's possible to add two boundaries to what already felt like a comprehensive list means that your list needs to be re-examined Regularly. The list is never done growing. There are always new boundaries to establish. And ranking in creating your boundaries needs to become a weekly or monthly routine. You need to find a regular time to reflect on painting your life and find internal solutions through self-focus boundaries. Let's summarize what you need to do in order to put all this into practice. The boundary routing contains six components. First, you need to rank your adherence to the boundaries. Second, you must identify areas of pain or frustration in your life. Third, figure out how you contribute or allow that pain forth, established what you can do to reduce and eliminate the pain. Fit, consciously focus on adherence to your three lowest ranked boundaries. And lastly, repeat this every month or even every week for superior results. 103. Activity Reign in Your Boundary Shortcomings: It's your turn to assess your adherence to your boundaries so that you know where you fall short in order to improve your ability to leverage those boundaries to achieve your goals. Let's do an activity. Step 1, identify two panes or frustrations in your life right now. They can be personal or professional. Don't use something already addressed by mylist, the boundaries from the prior section right down to pain points in your workbook right now. Step to acknowledge how you enable, allow, or cause those pain points to exist in your life, right down your role in creating or contributing to those pain points. Step three, create two new boundaries that help you reduce or eliminate the pain points from the prior step. Remember, to keep the boundaries self-focused only creates something that dictates how you will act, not how you want others to act. Step 4, rewrite your final list of goal producing boundaries. Make sure to add the two new boundaries you created in the prior step and include any tweaks to my original ten. Don't worry about the rank column yet. Step five, go back to the table and step 4 and rank your adherence to your list of boundaries. Use a scale of one to 10 like I did where ten represents the fact that you cannot recall anytime you didn't abide by your boundary. And one is a boundary you have never successfully implemented. Step 6, Identify your three-week as boundaries. Write down the three boundaries that you ranked the lowest on your ability to adhere to them. Step seven, post your boundary list where you can see it and highlight the three from step six. These are the boundaries you will consciously focus on improving over the next week or weeks until you re-rank them and determine the next ones to focus on improving. Write down. Where are you will post your list. Step eight, determine when you will repeat your boundary routine. Write down a field, revisit your list weekly or monthly. And the first instance you'll do that after completing this activity. Create a calendar reminder for yourself. 104. Enforce Boundaries in Your Life using Grit: Contrary to all the reflection in planning you've done up to this point in this section, in this lesson, you haven't actually done anything to implement boundaries in your life. You've only just identify them and where you're falling short and using them, which by the way, congratulations, that's awesome. But in Faust, enforcing the goal producing boundaries you created, that is the final piece to leveraging boundaries to get to where you want in life. And without, without some muscle, some effort behind enforcing them on yourself. You just have a wishlist, a list of shortcomings, and a list of someday maybe tasks. And that is not positive goal achieving quality. How you enforce a boundary is not the tricky part. The challenge lies in being committed to enforcing each and every boundary that protects and promotes you to where you want to be. Boundaries are black and white, which makes them relatively easy to enforce. A list of black and white boundaries can be easy to enforce. When contrasted with the world of gray. The danger lies in rationalizing yourself out of enforcing boundaries. The first step is to use grit to enforce your boundaries. The ease with which you enforce your boundaries in your life can come down to your grittiness, your stick to witness how committed you are to plowing through these challenges, to remain strong in the face of obstacles. And how good are you at persevering that he's your grip. If you're successful and committed to that. While you're likely inherently gritty. If you need to go back to the grid section to really understand what grit means. The grid lesson how you know how gritty you are and what can be done to develop your grid. There's even a grit scale assessment and you can come completed to give you more insight on how much grit you actually possess. But remember this, those with lower grit can certainly achieved goals, but it will require more help and more boundaries to get there. And it'll take even more to stay there. 105. Enforce Boundaries in Your Life using Conative Strength: Another key step to using Khanate of strengths to enforce your boundaries. Remember, the key to these boundaries and what makes them positive goal achieving boundaries is that they're self-focused. You're setting boundaries for yourself, not for others to abide by. So what happens when you're out of your element in trying to enforce them? If a boundary or two falls outside your Khanate of working style. Well, your natural approaches to problem-solving. You'll have to work twice as hard with greater frustration and exhaustion to enforce the boundary. Now that doesn't mean you toss out the boundary. Instead, you call in reinforcements. Now there are three things you must ask yourself to evaluate the colonnade of stress of a boundary. First. If you were to enforce this boundary, does it mean you have to work outside the way you naturally work? If the answer is yes, then you need help from someone who is not code natively stressed by this boundary. And the answer is no, then you can do it on your own. Now the keys in this evaluation process are the words naturally. And to help you're a Khanate of working style is the way you naturally, instinctively, without thinking about how to approach it, solve problems and tackle work at home or in the office. You need to be clear on how you naturally approach problem-solving. To assess this, you need to be honest with yourself about your preferences, your tendencies, and your biases. Just because you think of boundaries challenging. If it actually aligns with your natural strengths, you cannot push it off on someone else. Remember, boundaries should be somewhat uncomfortable if you truly can't enforce adherence to your boundary without co native stress, well then you can call in somebody to help you out, not someone you enforce for you, or to make you stay accountable, someone to help. And the help is often just an outside reminder that you're not enforcing a supportive person to call you out when you're falling down or failing to act within your personal boundaries, you still have to do the work to adhere to it. You might need to seek out assistance to get started on one or two of these. But you should eventually being able to sustain each boundary on your own. Most boundaries should be things you can enforce on your own. Reliance on a mentor, coach, partner or friend, long-term, or for more than a couple boundaries. That's not successful behavior. You set the boundaries for yourself. So now you follow through on them and you live by them, by yourself. 106. Determine Your Boundary Enforcement Helpers: Next, you need to determine your boundary enforcement helpers. Before you can call an assistance, you need to know what you're asking for help on just as you rank your adherence to your boundaries earlier, remember that 90 to determine your boundary helpers. Let me give you an example. I evaluated my list boundaries and whether I'm capable of self-enforcing each of them or if I need assistance. For example, I said I'm capable of enforcing my first boundary, which is no traditional business meetings after hours. You remember that one? I said I was capable of doing that by myself. Now, what that looks like is somebody booked a conference call meeting for 07:00 PM on my calendar. And in spite of the fact that I was capable in available to participate in this call, I cancel this just two hours beforehand. The meeting violated my boundary. And instead of allowing it because somebody else was unaware of my boundary and they booked it. I held fast and I protected my time and my process. This is where you have to remember. Boundaries are black and white. There is no rationalizing. Well, he didn't know I don't do meetings like that after hours. He didn't know that or it's only a couple of hours from now. I'll just stay this once. No. Adhere to the rule. Don't blur the lines. There is no gray in your boundaries. So what about the one that requires assistance? How does that play out? Well, avoiding cognitive stress is one that commonly requires assistance simply by the nature of cognitive stress and working preferences and strengths. If a task doesn't align well with your colonnade of strengths, that boundary inherently requires assistance. Somebody with the necessary strength to assist, otherwise, you're violating the boundary. So let me give you an example for me. That means tasks that are necessary to submit and paperwork that's necessary to submit. That tends to cause me call native stress. I mentioned bookkeeping earlier. I rely on others to walk through those steps that are necessary, so I'm not overwhelmed or exhausted with that kind of stuff. You have grit, cognitive strengths and helpers at your disposal. You're at the point now where you just need to do this. Don't point a finger when you fail to adhere to a boundary. Shake yourself, and be the enforcer. 107. Activity Enforce Your Boundaries: Let's do an activity to put this into practice. It's your turn to determine the methods you will use to enforce your boundaries to achieve the success that you desire and achieve your goals. Step 1, evaluate your boundaries for cognate of stress, review the list of boundaries, and make sure to add your two new ones earlier in this lesson and place a check mark next to any that would require you to operate in a manner outside your natural working style. Use the training companion for this. Remember you're not marking the ones that will be hard or uncomfortable. You're indicating possible sources of colonnade of stress. Step to determine where you need to help to enforce your boundaries. Identify each boundary as self, or assist in the enforcer column. Remember, you should be able to enforce most of these yourself. And enforcement help is not enforcing for you. Again, use the training companion for this step three for each boundary marked assist. Identify who you will ask to help you and how you plan to have them help. They can't enforce for you. They should only be helping until you can do it on your own. Good luck. 108. Thrive with Your life—Don’t Just Survive: I'm going to show you how to thrive with your life. Not just survive by bettering your process. Most people set goals and only work on themselves in their life. When their world is on fire. When the bills need to be paid or things aren't going well. That's when they set goals, work on themselves or their business or their life. But when a person's world, is it not on fire, That's when he or she typically stops progressing. The people who are going to benefit the most from this session are the ones who are ready to take their goal setting to the next level when their world not on fire. This session is for those people to take their goal setting from good to absolutely elite. Now there's one thing, only one thing that's stronger than the fear of failure. You know what it is? It's a fear of success. Let's say a person's making $100 thousand to $200 thousand per year to him and the world around him. Nothing has really changed. He's a little bit more financially free. He has a small team, let's say it's not really that big of a team. And he can relate a lot more to the world around him because his friends are making 80 to a 100 thousand dollars a year. Now what happens if he starts making a million dollars a year? He might think that means he's going to change as a human being. Why do people just work when the worlds on fire and stop working when it's not. Because it's the fear of success. Who does that success make them? It's like the question, if you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do? Success is a magnifier. The route of having a fear of success is that when you're successful to that point, you won't even know who you are. Most people have spent their entire life focusing on surviving. So that's all most people know how to do. Survive versus thrive. If you're really nice and you become very successful, you become even nicer if you're a jerk. And you become very successful, where you just become more of a jerk. If you're making a $150 thousand a year doing your business or whatever it is you do consider that you've won the lottery. That's because you're going to be able to do that consistently. And you don't really need to worry about money anymore. Here's the problem. The problem is that life will be fine, fine, fine, fine. And then it's on fire. And then it'll be fine, fine, fine, fine again. And then it'll be on fire again. When people are in survival mode with their goals, they carry around this backpack all day long that weighs 100 pounds. And whether they realize it or not, the people themselves are creating that fire. They're creating their own fires. Y, because that's what allows them to feel normal. It's what allows them to feel safe because they've always had that type of fire. The goals, they go in waves. Thriving is a totally different mindset. It's using the techniques in this session to allow your life to become really easy. Instead of just running, you're going to learn how to make your business or life hom. You'll start to see it really get going. You will see how to lift the burden of this live off your back by creating what's possible and adding more freedom to your life better in your process. This session is taking your goals from being just fine to be an exception by proactively bettering your process and incorporating all the aspects of this program. You can reach your goals far faster while taking over two months of vacation and not working more than 40 hours a week, then you can focus on the important things in your life. Perhaps serving other people, loving others, giving to others of your time. If you think you just don't have the natural skills to do this, then it's that much more critical for you to getting this bettering the process right, then you can not only survive this life for a few years, but you could thrive with success and significance in this world. In with your goals. The biggest reason why those people in the middle don't have that Kanai approach, constant and never-ending improvement approach has nothing to do with the fear of failure. It doesn't. When a person first sets goals, the others a fear of failure. He or she is constantly saints himself or herself. I don't want to fail. I don't want to fail, I don't want to fail. Well, we're talking about in this session is not having the fires anymore. Or at the very least, not having the fire's be survival type fires. Instead, it's thriving, not surviving. This session is the catalyst to help you take your goals from small to big. This is where you start to change and shift your mentality from just setting a goal that's fine to having a goal and a life that is exceptional. So which are you? Are you a new goal setter, a middle goal setter, or a high goal setter. The mentality of a new goal setter is a surviving mentality. You want to learn because your life and goals are on fire. The mediocrity mentality is that you feel like you've quote, made it and you stop growing. But the thriving mentality, well that's about constantly seeking to grow Kanai constant number I need improvement. And the motivation of the new goal setter is a fear of failure. You don't want to fail. The motivation of the middle goal setter is a fear of success. You're afraid you're going to just change as a human being with success. But the motivation of a high success goal setter is battering success. You find all the stuff that's working and you make it better. The proactivity of the new goal setter and the middle goal setter is to focus on the fire when the bills need to be paid or things aren't going well, that's when you work on yourself or your goals. But the proactivity of the high success goal setter is a better process. You take everything that's working in your life and with your goals and you just start magnifying that stuff. The Sales mentality of both the new and middle goal setter is well, if you run out of clients, create a big prospecting campaign. But the Sales Mentality of the high success goal setter is, what can we do on a weekly basis to get five more a plus clients? See the mindset of the new goal setter and the middle goal setter is no mindset, no, that can't work. The mindset of the highest success goal setter is yes. Mindset, yes. And, and this brings us to the metaphor of the pigs. The middle people who don't see it at the start to be, they'd become like pigs being led to the slaughter house. The slaughterhouse represents mediocrity. If you're one of those people, the reality is that someday you're going to wake up and you're going to die. And you had the opportunity to be in Pig that's free. But you're the one who chose to walk right in line. Slaughterhouse. The pigs are the middle people. The new people aren't being led to a slaughterhouse yet. They're being fed all the green grass. They're being fattened up. It's almost like Big Brother where you're just being bred to be this non-thinking clone. People don't necessarily like that message. But that's the truth. Most people don't like messages that caused them to grow when they first hear them. But the people who are at a high success level who have gone beyond surviving in mediocrity to thriving are the pigs that have actually left the entire farm. Instead of trying to find all the stuff that's not working, the successful people find all the stuff that's working and they make it work better. And it's the difference between survival mentality and thriving mentality. Better in your process is taking everything that's working in your life and magnifying that stuff. And this is very different than what most people do. Most people just deal with the stuff that's on fire. And they run out of clients to reach out to, for example, o, then they create a big prospect and campaign. But what if instead of that, when something is working well in your life, you ask yourself what you can do to make it better. For example, if your life or business is working, well, you could ask, what can we do to make this so we get things back a week faster. If you're in sales and the sales are going well, for example, and you're getting huge prospects and you've got a huge prospect bank then asked, what can we do so that on a weekly basis, we get five more a plus prospects, at least five. See your goal is to have one of your values be to thrive, not survive, and your other values should be to be exceptional rather than mediocre. Most people will insist that their values and their goals do not include setting for mediocrity, but they're still mediocre. Truth that you need to admit is that you continue to fall in this trap of mediocrity. Still not sure which type of person you are. Ask yourself the following questions. Does what I'm doing align with my values? Is mediocrity. One of my values. That's what most people are doing. Am I going to accept mediocrity? Do I have a value of survive or thrive? How much time am I spending grounded every single day? How much time do I spend each week bettering my process? Not the stuff that's on fire, but the stuff that's going well. How you take your goals to the next level is by adopting a Thrive mentality. And that's why we talk about bettering your process. That's why this is such an awesome chapter, because it's maybe the first time that you can take a look at something in your life that's working and make it better. Specifically, you will learn three ways in this session to better your process. First, we'll identify what's working. Second, we'll explore what's possible. Third, will implement easy solutions. 109. Identify What’s Working: First, let's identify what's working in your life. Most people spend their time focusing on what's not working well in their life. This is where you can expand your mind. Think about it like flexing your muscles. Most people have used the muscle of survival their whole, entire lives. And that's because most people are survivors, are working on things that aren't working well, is the muscle, muscle most people have worked on thoroughly on their own. What they really need help with, what you really need help with is working on things that are working well. For example, if the bank account is out of money and they don't have a job or prospects. They'll go out and get prospects and get names of jobs that muscle knows how to do it it needs to do. But the muscle that's not being used, not being developed, not being flexed, is the one that's based on the Thrive mentality. And this muscle says, I've got a lot of prospects, for example, in sales. Now let's see what we can do to make it more efficient. When you look at the generations that have come before us, there's always been survival of the fittest. Well, we are transitioning right now, new IT world now, where very few people need to survive. We have the opportunity to thrive. Everybody wants to thrive. Yet some people haven't adopted the mentality needed to thrive. I don't understand that. If you're thriving, you will become super attractive. You can't fake it. That's because success breeds success. If you're the one person who is thriving amongst a group of people who are surviving, you instantly become more attractive. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for all those people around you. Obviously, people can thrive for themselves, but if you can find a reason why you should thrive for other people, well, you can do it more easily. You can model this for other people. If you can adopt a Thrive mentality. Not only is it going to make your goal setting and achievement a lot easier in your life. But you can also model for others who don't know how to do it themselves yet. Many people are afraid to think that big. And they're basing their decisions on a scarcity mentality rather than a Thrive mentality. That's why this session is so important for you. If you haven't adopted it already, this is going to be the first glimpse that you get of what thriving really looks like. Most people look at things with the no mentality. They say many statements throughout the day that are the equivalent of saying no, that can't work? No, that's not right. What if instead of saying No, you said yes. A and the only thing you can say is yes. And what if you adopt the mentality that whenever somebody says something, the other person has to say yes. And this creates the idea of what's possible. You look at the greatest entrepreneurs of our time in this mentality is magical for them. But it's because they adopt a yes and methodology. And that's what we're saying to do with your life. 110. Write Down and Rank the Steps of Your Success Process: The first step is to identify what's working in your life. In to do that, you need to write down the different steps of your success process. And when you do this, you want to drill down and think about the effectiveness of what's working and what's not working in your life. Here's some items to get you started. Number one, family member to work. Number 3, health, number for spiritual. Number 5, financial, number 6, emotional, and number 7, intellectual. Now in order to identify what's working, the next step is to rank each of the things I just shared with you with what's working and what's not working. You want to rank the best areas of your life versus the worst areas of your life. You rank them on a scale of one to 10, with one being the best area of your life and 10 being the absolute worst area of your life. When you do this, likely there will be one or two things. You're doing really well in one or two that you're not doing very well. The third step is to identify what's working in your life is to focus on the top half of your scale. Those are the areas that we're going to focus on improving. For most of us, it doesn't make logical, intuitive sense to pick the top half. For most of us, our whole lives, we've been told to pick the bottom half. For example, let me, let me give you an example to help illustrate this for most people when they're in school, if they're good in English and they're bad in math, they spend all their time on math. We're flipping that approach. I'm suggesting you really focus on what you're good at. This is the moment where most people have a full fledged aha moment. It's often the first time when this approach is really cemented in your mind. And the paradigm shift has started to happen toward a thriving mentality focused on bettering your process. 111. Activity Identify What’s Working: Let's do an activity. It's your turn to identify what's working in your life. Step 1, write down the steps of your life or business process. Use this list to get you started. Number one family member to work. Number 3, health, number for spiritual. Number 5, financial numbers 6, emotional and number 7, intellectual. Write down the process for each of those in your life. Step 2, rank what's working and what's not working on a scale of one to 10, with one being the best area of your life, and 10 being the worst area of your life. Step 3, isolate the top half of your scale by writing down the top things that are working in your life. 112. Explore What’s Possible for You to Work On: You now have your top half. You've identified what's working. It's time to move on to explore what's possible. And this should be one of the most fun activities that you'll get to do. Because most people, they usually spend all their time focusing on what they're not very good at. You can spend some time on something you're actually good at. So first, you need to pick out what you want to work on. And to do this, start focusing on one area that you're really good at. You want to take a look at one of your top half activities from the previous section and figure out how you can improve on that one activity. Now here's a very easy example from a sales rep to show you how this works. The sales rep looked at his initial meeting with prospects as something he was good at. He then looked at the time between his initial meeting and his clothes and it was good. The time between his initial meeting in his clothes was about a week and a 2.5 weeks. During that time, he and his staff would mail out a discovery letter that would summarize what they talked about in the initial meeting. And it was working really well. And by the way, if you're not a sales rep, hear me out, this will apply to you. His close ratio was about 55 percent, which he felt rooves really good. Considering most sales reps, we're at 30 percent. He decided to make that good process even better. And in the next section you'll see the easy solutions that he implemented that lead to an increase in close ratio from 50 percent to 70 percent. And then we'll apply it to your life and how you can apply that process yourself. 113. Write Our Your Process and your Results: The next step is to write out your process and the current results you're getting. For example, here are the notes on the sales rep process for his original client meetings. It took him an hour and 15 minutes to do each initial meeting. And he asked for prospects 20 percent of the time. He got on average one or two prospects. Now the relationship for him developed throughout the entire initial client meetings, but really starts to develop around 30 minutes into the initial client meetings. Keep watching this, I promise you this will wrap right around into your goals. But by the time the initial client meeting is done, 60% of the time it ends up being a case open in out of all his initial client meetings, that shouldn't be a case open, IE 55 percent. There's one out of every ten of those that are not a case open. So nine times out of ten, it should be a case open. And it becomes a case open. But one time out of 10, something just didn't work very well. In other words, he didn't become relevant enough. So how do you do this? How do you determine your process for your goals? Well, the answer is to ask yourself and answer these five questions. First, how much time is your process taking you to do? Second, how much time is it taking your staff, if you have staffer, others in your life or family to do. Third, what are the results you're getting forth? Is there room for improvement? And fifth, Do you want improvement? 114. Have Somebody Else Look at What You’re Doing: One of the easiest ways to help better your process is to have somebody else take a look at what you're doing currently and then you need to partner up with that. Somebody, a coach, friend, somebody to help you come up with what you could potentially do to better your process. Now this is one of the most important parts and it's a partner activity. You need to partner up with somebody and his or her job is to pick at you. This is all about getting more done in reducing your stress. His or her job is to challenge you on those fronts. Let's take a look at an example. You're about to see an example of that sales rep I was referring to earlier, having somebody else look at what the sales rep is doing. Now you could apply this to any goal in your life of those seven I showed you. But in this case, the sales rep and the partner might have the following dialogue. Let's watch and see. So just what part of this process and the initial client meetings that you've had really causes the most stress for you? It seems like getting into the initial client meetings right at the beginning when we start to get into the initial client meetings, the second piece would be wrapping things up. Okay? So what can you remove from what you're doing to get a better result? But can you remove from that? I look at my approach language to get into the fact finder. The goal is to get people to open up. Maybe my approach language isn't genuine enough because I'm using some language I learned from somebody else. It works. I mean, eight times out of 10, I'm getting into the Fact Finder, but two times out of ten, I'm not getting into the initial client meetings. It kinda makes me uncomfortable. Makes other people uncomfortable too. As you're working through bettering your process, the key to paraphrase that takeaway as the partner. Whenever you paraphrase the takeaway, always end the paraphrase with the statement. Is that right? Let's continue watching as the dialogue with the sales rep and the partner. So you can see this as an example. Let's continue on with, this might sound like with the sales rep and the partner, It sounds like your languages and genuine. And it's only getting eight out of ten people to do an initial client meeting. Is that is that writer? Yeah. Okay. So what can you add to what you're doing to get a better result? We've talked about removing earlier. What can you add to what you're doing to get a better result? What do you think add is just having language that's genuine to me, not somebody else's language. And language is just more comfortable. So what opportunities would you say there are for things to become more efficient? I think if I just do a turtle step like an experiment and try to come up with some more genuine approach language. Then I may get 10 out of 10 people into an actual client meeting instead of eight out of ten. Okay? So what can you remove from what you're doing? Or what can you add to what you're doing to get a better result there? I think it really just comes down to coming up with more genuine language. If I were to be really passionate about my language and language are really reflected my values. I think I can get results. Isn't this amazing stuff? As you're watching this video, you probably now are wondering, well, how do I do this for myself? How do I better my process? I'm glad you asked. The answer is the four pillar partner questions to better your process. These are the four questions your partner can ask you to help you better your process with your goals in your life. Question 1, what part of this process causes the most stress for you? Question two, what can you remove from what you're doing to get a better result? Question 3, what can you add to what you're doing to get a better result? Question for what opportunities are there for things to become more efficient? If you want to go back and listen again to the sales rep and the partner, discuss these questions and you'll see just how powerful they are in real action. The key when you do this is to repeat questions 23. Your partner will be most effective for you when he or she repeats questions 2 and 3 as needed to get the most out of you and the bettering of your process. When your partner asks you these questions, you may not really see the issue or the opportunities at first. It's your partner's job to then expound on each of these questions. Here's what it might sound like. Let's take a look at that. That partner. At role-play again, your partner might say, Well, you're saying in your initial client meeting that you asked only 20 percent of the time, But why why do you only ask 20% of the time? Notice the key question is why? That's your key. 115. Activity Explore What’s Possible: It's your turn to explore what's possible in this activity. Step one, pick out one area from the exercise that we talked about that you're really good at. Step two, write out your process and write out your results for that one area by answering the following questions. Number one, how much time is it taking you to do? Number 2, how much time is it taking your staff to do if you have them? Number three, what are the results you're getting? Number four, is there room for improvement? And number 5, do you want improvement? Step 3, have somebody else look at what you're doing and ask you the following questions. Number 1, what part of the process causes you the most stress? Number two, what can you remove from what you're doing to get a better result? Number three, what can you add to what you're doing to get a better result? And number 4, what opportunities are there for things to become more efficient? And then repeat as needed. 116. Implement Easy Solutions: It's time to move from a mediocre goal setting to goals that are thriving. You have now identify what's working in your life. You've explored what's possible. Now it's time to implement a solution. This is my favorite part and it's a solution that's going to move you from being mediocre. Let's go back to that example of the sales rep. As we mentioned in the previous section, the sales rep and his team decided to look at his client meetings as something he was good at. He then looked at the time between his initial client meetings and his clothes? Yeah, it was good. The time between his initial client meetings and his clothes was about a week and a half to two weeks. His close ratio was about 55 percent, which he felt was really good. He felt really good about that considering most people are at 30 percent. During that time, the sales rep and his staff would mail out a discovery, a letter that would summarize what they talked about in the initial client meetings. I was working really well. The sales rep decided to make that good process even better. So he said to himself, self, this is working well. What can I do to make this process work even better? He and his team then proceeded to implement easy solutions and ended up increasing their close ratio from 55 percent to 70 percent. How did he do that? The answer is to give yourself permission for a week. And that's what we'll talk about in the next section. 117. Give Yourself Permission for a Week: Once you pick out the one area you need to work on, you want to create a turtle step or two in that area. Now most people think that changes need to happen in a quantum leap forward. Of things don't have to happen in quantum leaps and they often don't. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take just a turtle step. The turtle step is sometimes harder to do than the subsequent larger steps. The first step is the difficult one. You have to give yourself the freedom to try something new, to try something different, you need to experiment with a few things. It doesn't mean that change has to happen forever. It's just a turtle step. Try experimenting with something for a week. See how it goes. It doesn't have to be for a week, but it needs to be enough time to evaluate whether it's working or it's not working. The key with whatever steps you decide to take is that you have to give yourself the freedom to try something new. It's giving yourself the freedom to experiment with something different. Even for a short while. Bad experiment needs to have safe parameters in the sales reps to case his permission was to experiment with setting a different timeframe for the close and then to see how it went. One of the first things he decided to see if you can get the clothes to happen in the next week as opposed to the next two weeks. That was one turtle step to see if he could do that. Now he had to do some work within himself because at first he was thinking an ad to be two weeks apart. But the reality was that if his expectation was that the person needed to meet tomorrow for the close well, then they could meet tomorrow for the close. Try it for a week. You can change something for one week. And if you have to go back to the way it was before. And so be it, especially if it was working prior to your experiment, but try it for one week. 118. Give Yourself Permission for Three Months: Another bigger permission that you can grant yourself is to try something new for three months. Well, for example, consider how this applies to the goal of implementing an easy solution, like bringing on a new staff member. For example, most people are scared to get a new staff member and they think, Oh my gosh, how am I going to bring on this staff member? I can't afford to do it. What if instead of taking on a staff member for life, he simply try it for three months. What did you say? I'm going to take on a staff member for three months. And if within that three months it's not working, then that's my answer. Another example, three months turtle step, it also applies to bring it on a life coach. You may discover that one of the easiest solutions to your life is to bring on a life coach. Let's say it's for a 1000 bucks a month. You may be scared to do it, wondering if you can afford it. At the same time, you and your partner from the exercise above that we talked about earlier, the previous section may have explored what's possible and discovered it's time to try a coach. What you're about to be a leader as a goal setter, you're about to take staff members on, you're about to make a bunch of money. It may be time for a coach. Instead of committing to a life coach for life, simply try that person out for three months. See what happens. One of the bigger solutions that that sales rep made over three months was instead of mailing offer discovery agreement. Here's an example of this. He created what's called a vision statement, which is a one Cheater. Well, instead of the sales rep asking his staff staff to take all this time and mail this letter out which the client may be receives or maybe he doesn't receive or the client may be looked at or maybe he doesn't look at it. The sales rep had one sheet of paper and he presented that and the person showed up for the close within the next week. Now, when the client arrived, the sales rep had his vision statement right there. So why am I telling you this? Well, do you know how he came up with this vision statement? He asked himself, What's the purpose of this discovery lighter. And the purpose of this discovery letters to let the client know that you listened to him. So what's interesting is that because of these two easy solutions, the sales rep and his team saw a jump from 50 percent close to 70 percent close. And he did this. That was the end result of the three month trial. And you can do this for your goal too. 119. Create Safety for Change: So how did these people get themselves like the sales rep, to be able to take the plunge and implement these kinds of changes. Well, that's what the remainder of this session is all about. You should know these aren't easy to do for anybody. You have to create safety for yourself to make changes like this. One of the best ways to create safety for change in your life is to ask yourself the following two questions. Question number one, if I make this decision and I get it right, how does it change my life? Question number two, if I make this decision, I get it wrong. How does it change my life? Let's visit these two questions for the sales wrap as he contemplates decreasing the time he takes in-between the initial client meeting and the clothes from two weeks to one week. Now if he makes this decision to decrease the time and he gets it right, but how does it change his life? Well, it could increase his close ratio because he's more relevant and that would make him more money. And if you make this decision to decrease the time and he goes and gets it wrong, well, how could it negatively changes life? Well, it could cause him to lose business for the week or two weeks that he tries it, but it doesn't really change his life all that much. So he potentially risks two weeks of production. But he can always go back to the way it was prior to the experiment. Now, as you can see, by asking these two questions, he was able to feel the safety he needed to attempt to the trial period and make a turtle step change. This may happen for you as well. Seriously, in some cases, you'll feel safe in attempting that trial period of your goals because you're going to say to yourself that the benefits far outweigh the risks. And these two questions though, aren't always going to tell you to move forward with the decision. There are exceptions in which the benefits don't outweigh the risks. Let's take a look at another example. Let's look at a bigger change where somebody says, I have the opportunity to sell my business to somebody else. Or what happens when we ask those same two questions that we asked earlier? Well, if you make this decision to sell your business and you get it right, how does it change your life? Well, it doesn't really change my life that much. I mean, maybe I'd have a little bit more consistent paycheck or a little bit more money than I do right now. But overall, it doesn't change my life all that much. If I make this decision to sell my business and I get it wrong, well, how does that change my life? Well, the relationship goes bad and the reality is that I don't have my messages anymore. I don't have a paycheck. I don't have a paycheck or my business in this case, these questions would give you validation and give me validation that actually I should not go through with this decision. You see how powerful these two questions are. This brings up the 90, 10 rule for most people. When you apply these two questions in general, 90% of the time, the answers to the questions are going to tell you to make the change. Conversely, 10 percent of the time, the answers to the questions are going to tell you not to make the change. Let's look at two more examples for you so you can really understand this before we do an activity. Let's look at the hiring of staff for helping to leverage your business and firing staff. And even if you don't have staff, watch us, it'll help. Let's say you're contemplating a goal of hiring a marketing person. Well, here's what the two questions might look like. If you make this decision to hire a marketing person for your business and you get it right. Well, how does it change your life? Well, it allows for greater efficiency. You'll get in front of the right people and your calendar will potentially be stacked in the right manner. It overall production will increase. In production has the potential to increase by thousands of dollars. Let's say. Well, as you can see, if you pick this decision to hire a marketing person for your business and you get it right, it's pretty cool. But if you get it wrong, how does it change your life? Well, for a trial period of three months, you could end up losing $11 thousand. It seems pretty reasonable to me to hire that marketing person. The benefits outweigh the cons. Now let's say you're contemplating firing a different marketing person. This happened to a man named Joe with an employee named Kim. Now Kim was in charge of marketing in Qin, was actually doing a decent job. She was completing the tasks. She was in charge of getting new people on the calendar for Joe. She was doing it. Not most people would be really excited for somebody like that what Kim was doing. The problem Here's the problem is that she wasn't a fit for the office culture. She'd complain. She'd have a negative attitude a lot of the time. She needed a lot of support to complete the tasks at hand and she wasn't a self-starter. What's interesting is that the position was working with Kim on many levels. Levels. Joe's calendar was good and he was making money. But now let's revisit those two questions in imagine you have a similar circumstance. If you make this decision to fire a marketing person for your business and you get it right. Well, how would that change your life? Well, first it would open up the opportunity for the right person to be in this role for the rest of his or her career. This is how Joe fallen his current employee, whether the new employee might not complain at all. Next, the new employee might be a great self-starter, and the new employee might be a team player. The new employee might be low maintenance, and the new employee might be a blessing to have. As you can see, if, if Joe makes this decision to fire Kim, the marketing person for his business and he gets it wrong or right, There's some good stuff. Now let's see what happens if he gets it wrong. How does that change Joe's life? Well, if Joe gets rid of her, he has to go back to phoning for a while until we find somebody new phoning on his marketing team. And he has to be the one that has to pick up the phone and call people over his business. In this case, Joe found, Joe found that fire in his employee made more sense. It's easy to fire somebody when she's bad. It's hard to fire somebody when she has good qualities to in this case, it was part of that 90 percent rule where if you made the decision, it would be more likely to change his life in a positive way. 120. Identify Your Action Steps to Move Forward: The last step in implementing easy solutions is to write down exactly what those action steps for that decision are going to be. Now you can do this step now that you have created safety for yourself to make a change. And the two questions have told you which direction you want to go in terms of making a decision, you want to identify one to four turtle steps that you can do to improve this process and come up with a timeline in which you're going to do it. You need to write down what those action steps are going to be. Let's talk about turtle steps for a moment. Turtle steps are the action steps that you identify that will hold you accountable for the decision you gave yourself freedom to try. Turtle steps are not that major. The key is once you identify the turtle step, you need to have something that's going to hold you accountable. For the sales rep example, with the initial client meeting, his first turtle step was to set the clothes for a week or less for all his meetings for the next week, if at all possible, if he was going to start that change immediately. But the turtle step was that he was going to try it out for two weeks. Now, the third turtle step for the sales route was to stop mailing discovery letters and instead to create a vision for himself. Now for hiring a new staff member, the first turtle stuff maybe to write out a job description. The second terminal step may be to set aside the money for this person to be hired for firing somebody. The first turtle step may be to find somebody in your office who can help you with the firing process. Now, there are three keys to turtle steps for you. First, do it immediately. Second, try it out for a short duration, for example, two weeks. Third, have something or someone that holds you accountable. 121. Activity Implement Easy Solutions: It's activity time in it's your turn to implement easy solutions in your life. Step 1, give yourself permission to try something different via our turtle step for one week. Step to give yourself permission for three months to implement a bigger change or goal by asking yourself the following two questions. One, if I make this decision, I get it right. How does it change my life too? If I make this decision, I get it wrong. How does that change my life? Step 3, identify your action steps to move forward with whatever decision you have made for one week to three months. Step four, identify someone to hold you accountable for those action steps. 122. Catapult Your Life to Places You Never Dreamed Of: I'm going to show you how to catapult your life to places you never dreamed of by surrounding yourself with great people. None of us want to wake up someday with a lot of regret. Yet many, many people will wake up with regret someday because they never really push themselves. They allow themselves to wallow. In mediocrity. They allowed themselves to sit around or to get by hap hazard. Rate. People hang around with great people. Successful people hang out with successful people. The more successful you become, the more successful people you hang out with. Surrounding yourself with great people. It doesn't just help your business or your life. It helps all areas of your world. When you surround yourself with forward thinking and big thinking people, they help you become bigger and stronger in your own world. They help push you to bigger objectives. They help you define how great you really can be it because sometimes those great people will see things in you that you don't even see in yourself. If you're willing to listen to their thoughtful suggestions and how you can be better in your life or in your career. Well, it will catapult your entire life and career to places you never dreamed existed. But if you don't surround yourself with great people, you're going to fall out of your goals mentally. You'll end up with mediocrity running rampant in your world. It's much more exciting to celebrate victories as a team are collectively with a great group of winners than it is to celebrate all by yourself. The celebrations in victory, these are enhanced and all of the grades we surround ourselves with, many times have one key trait. In common. They have great teams, great organizations and great people all around them. And you can learn from them and how to surround yourself with great people and use that knowledge when you're hiring and building your teams are enhancing your goals, your life. And then all of a sudden, you'll start to do more and become more. And as you do more and become more, you become more like them, then you can reset your own bar and your own objectives to grow continuously for yourself. Time is the most valuable asset that any of us have. So often we spend all of our time doing things that we should be delegating. If we build a winning team around us to help us. But we'll have more of our time back. Surrounding yourself with great people means being intentional about who you allow yourself to spend your time with. You need to dive into who you want to become. When you get around people who are doing things, you think our way out of bounds that you could never in a million years accomplish. It'll help you think a little bit bigger and it will stretch your vision a little bit more. And that makes your time more valuable. The more prepared you are to meet great people. Then when you meet an opportunity, you'll do a better job. The more prepared you are with your systems and your processes and your goals, the more you can take the emotional roller coaster out of the process for those. Now you will understand how success works better. You'll know how to separate the false information over here coming into your brain versus the really positive reinforcing information that you need to be significant. This allows you to build momentum. And when you build momentum in your life and you build yourself, your life becomes a very big, well oiled machine that's running on all cylinders. There are three things you're going to learn in this session about how to surround yourself with great people. First, you'll learn how to build your army of advocates. Second, we'll show you how to find your big thinkers. And third, you'll learn how to surround yourself with industry and life or career giants. 123. Build Your Army of Advocates: Every day we run into different human beings. We either leave them feeling better for having run into us, or we ignore them, or we rock, walk right by them. That can drive by shooting. However you choose to live is your decision. The Basque people are the ones who choose to be out there in traffic with other human beings. And when they are there genuine, they're able to share that connect. They engage. When you do this day in and day out every week, every month, every year, you start to build something pretty unique for yourself, for your life and for your community. Your advocates are anybody and everybody who come in contact with you from a goals perspective, you're about to learn the exact steps required to build your army of advocates. And if you've been striving for some goal for at least a year, this is going to be gold for you. Because we talk about how to build your army of advocates. Let's look at what an advocate really looks like for you. First, an advocate is somebody who believes in you. Second, and advocate is somebody who loves you unconditionally. And third, and advocate is somebody who respects you and your life and your business. If that's if that's pertaining forth, an advocate is somebody who continually pushes you to get better. You see your advocates are all those who believe in who you are and what you represent. They love you unconditionally, through the good, the bad, the ugly, and through the indifferent. They see respect and admire your effort and your tenacity and reaching your goals and in building yourself. And finally, they are continually pushing you to become the best version of you. 124. Build Your Self: The first step is to build your army of advocates, is to build your own self. If you can build yourself, then your advocates are just going to come. And the first way to build yourself is to be a student of the game, the game that you play. What that means is that you read, you listen to tapes, you go to programs like this one. You go to industry meetings, you watch programs, you read books, are constantly working to absorb new information, new knowledge, new techniques, new processes. And do you then practice, practice, practice your craft so that you're constantly getting better and better. And as you get more knowledgeable, you become more valuable. And when you're able to become more valuable, you can help people in a greater capacity. To build yourself. You have to have exceptional habits that the best people have and that they've built into their lives. Success is acquired through habit, and we form habits, and habits form our future. Now there are certain habits that super successful people have implemented in their lives. And these activities and habits will help you reduce your stress. Here are some of the exceptional habits employed. The top people in various industries. First, get up early in the morning. Second, exercise, cardiovascular activity at least 30 minutes, four times a week. Next, have a rigorous accountability with a partner. Then align with people who share blind spot opportunities. Listen to growth opportunities with acceptance. This is what they do. They get involved in charities or key organizations in the community. They serve on a board of directors or a for another company or any organization to get connected with people. They pay attention to people's lives with no expectation in return. They looked for ways to connect people to each other for a mutual benefit. They send thank you letters, birthday cards, and anniversary cards to other people. As you build yourself to higher and higher levels and you meet with better and better people will then those people will want to become advocates because you will become so attractive to them. That's because they'll see something uniquely exciting and new. They'll see some trait inside you that I think is just great. And they're going to want to advocate for you. 125. Build Others Up: The second step to build your army of advocates is to build others up. Now, when you build others up, you are building up yourself. The key to building up others is through the way you care about and treat other people. When you build others up, you will start to create an army of advocates. Let me ask you a question. Are you self-absorbed? You need to be others absorbed rather than self-absorbed. Now there's a variety of things your advocates will say about you. And that's why you want to be a blank piece of paper each day and go out each day with a purpose and passion. People will see that there's something different about you. You're not self-absorbed, you're others absorbed. There are three ways to build up other people to be others absorbed. First, treat everybody as a human beam. Second, have care with candor. And third, make people feel better with you. So the first step, let's dive into these. The first step is to build yourself up by building others up is to treat everyone as a human being regardless of his economic or her economic situation. You give that person your best self when you're with that person, you can build up others, as Rudyard Kipling one wrote in his poem, if, if you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue or walk with kings nor lose the common touch. The second step is to challenge people without upsetting people. Again, from Kipling, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you. If all people count with you, but none too much. The third step is to make people feel better having spent time with you, then if they hadn't put down with you. People never remember everything that we said, but they certainly remember the way they felt in your presence. Kipling, that explains how you can build up others. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming the nine, you. If you can trust yourself when all people doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too. If you can wait and not be tired by waiting or being lied about, don't deal in lies, or being hated, don't give way to hating. And yet don't look too good. Nor talk to wise. Isn't that great? 126. Build Your Personal Brand: The third way to build your army of advocates is to build your personal brand. Whatever the situation, you want to get back to building the brand. As you build your brand, people will start to advocate for you. When something comes up and people know what to do, they'll advocate on your behalf, someone else. So to build your personal brand, you're going to need to give everyone your best self and working with advocates for your brand can be anybody who knows you, who knows your life, knows your business or your career, or has experienced you and, or your business for a short period of time. For example, as you watch this video program right now, you might hear me say something that inspires you. The next thing you know, you may find yourself in a conversation that allows you to be an advocate. Let's say your name is Abby Smith. I'll people who spread your brand might say something similar to these comments about Abby. You know, Abby Smith. You definitely need to reach out to Abby Smith what a great human being abi is. One great person she is. Wow, I really love Abby. She's awesome. She made me feel great. She really helped us out. You could definitely benefit from meeting with her. She's a connector. She helped my business. When you build your brand, you're building your advocates, and as you build your brand, your life, your goals, whatever it is, your business to higher and higher levels and meet with better and better people than those people will want to become advocates. And that's because your brand will become attractive as they see something uniquely exciting and you, they'll see some trait inside you that they think is great and they're going to want to advocate for you. Now there are three main ways to build your brand. Let's write these down. First, follow through on your promises. That's the most important. Second, make it simple to work with you. And third, communicate with transparency. Let me ask you a question. Do you honor your commitments? Following through on what you say you're gonna do is the first major step you can take to build your brand. A lot of people over-promise and underdeliver. Falling through on your promises means delivering what you said you were going to do in a way that's even better than what the person expected. Think about it. Think about yourself for a second. If you say, you're going to show up somewhere, do you shop there on time? Are you respectful? Do you use time wisely? All of this builds your brand because it creates an experience that you have with other people. People will experience your brand when they experience what it's like to be working with you. That's your brand, you or your brand. Building a brand really means creating an experience for people, making it simple and easy to work with you is all about creating a great experience with your clients or anybody in your life. Think how Steve Jobs made Apple so easy and simple. When he did that, he had people lined up outside every store in the country to buy his next newest products, the best brands in the world are able to do that. The reason customers lined up was because he was creating the quote, Apple experience and simplicity. Was that the head of the table? So how do you create an amazing yet simple experience for other people? So they want to be your advocates and tell other people about that experience with you. We could do it by helping them accomplish their objectives and their goals. You hone in on what's important to them and you keep the entire process simple and succinct. And to do that, you get involved in their lives. You ask them for permission to help them get those things done that they said were important to them. The more you help people do the things that they think are important, the more they're comfortable with their own situations. And as a result, they are then more apt to share your name when other people ask when they ask about the services that you provide. 127. Find Your Big Thinkers: You don't just want advocates. You also want a few people in your life who think bigger and push you to reach beyond where you think you can go. You need those who are going to inspire you to set goals beyond what you think you're capable of doing. Big thinkers are very different from your army of advocates. You remember, your army of advocates can be anybody in the world. You're a big thinkers, on the other hand, are really your Knights of the Round Table. Think King Arthur, knights of the Round Table, big thinkers can make you feel like you, the only person in the room with them. They can focus in on you to be very end of the moment, big thinkers can stay with you and be crystal clear on what's important to you. Most big thinkers are great teachers. They're always, constantly teaching you the process and showing you different ways to communicate it. Big thinkers are people who practice nine important habits. I'm going to tell you what those nine habits are right now. First, they see greatness in you more than you see in yourself. Second, they envision things not as they are, but as they could be. Third, they're never satisfied with where they are forth. They're always wanting to get bigger. Fifth, they're always pushing the envelope. Six, they often live on the edge. Seven, they get you excited about hanging out with them. Eight, they have a contagious personality where you can feel their drive, their determination and their enthusiasm. And nine, they look at their lives, their businesses, their practices, and they plan for the future with confidence. They say were able to do X, Y, and Z. But I think if we did a, B, and C, we could add two times that. We could grow it twice as big as it is now. So how do you find your big thinkers? Well, the easy answer is you look for When you're at meetings, industry meetings, when you're reading the books, when you're watching programs like this, everybody knows the big people who are knocking the cover off the ball. Your mission is to seek them out. Take a look at the reports of offices in your industry that are crushing it, the people that are doing this, then find the person who's in charge and simply pick up the phone and call him or her, call the big thinkers. Call whatever big thinkers out there and you could impact in, or could impact you. Email them, contact them in any way. You won't be sorry. 128. Find Your Strength Big Thinkers: Once I've a big thinker, is known as the strength big thinker. And a strength big thinkers are the ones who help you discover your strengths and they build them up. And they think even bigger strength big thinkers are able to see inside of you. They know who you can become. Many times they see more in you than you see in yourself. For example, one of my big thinkers pointed out to me that I could be one of the top presenters in the country, potentially even the world. Here's what my big thinker said to me. Jason, with your skill set, your presentation skills and your knowledge, you could be a top presenter if you continue to do your disciplines which are amazing, and if you have the courage to present to people relentlessly, and if you develop yourself to get more from the people you're with, there's absolutely no doubt in my mind that you'll be one of the top presenters. I see it, Jason, he said to me, It's going to happen. I suggest that you keep pushing the envelope to get in front of more and more people. But when I spoke in front of 10 thousand people the first time, after going from 2000, my big thinker took notice. He believed in me. He was constantly leaving voice messages and he would notice my business and my following. He he would leave messages about that. In addition to checking in with me at key milestones in my business, that's a strength big thinker. Now you're big thinkers, your strength big thinkers. They'll know you there. Great communicators and teachers. They're gifted at finding now what makes you tick? And once you hit your first goal, the strength big thinker will push you to hit a bigger goal and then a bigger goal. They're always pushing you to get better and better. And said even lofty or goals. One great way to find a big thinker is to find a life coach who can help you think begging. If you want a giant of a coach, find a person you admire. One who has been really successful in business or life. And ask, we works with next, interview other successful people and get more life coach suggestions. Find the coach who seems to fit best for you where you currently are. Then just try the life coach for 90 days to see how it goes. 129. Find Your New Tape Big Thinkers: Another big thinker is called the new tape. Big thinker. New tape, big thinkers are the ones who show you the old tape you're playing in your head. And then they suggest a new tape that challenges your current beliefs in paradigm. New tape. Big thinkers help you remove the old tape in your mind and replace it with new tape. But what's year-old tape? What is the limiting belief about yourself that is holding you back right now? For example, one of the big thinkers in my life has helped me rethink my background about my skills, building a learning organization and creating a business. My old tape told me, Jason, you're very ineffective. It built in organizations and you won't be good at it. Now that voice made me feel that I couldn't do certain things or I couldn't reach a certain level. But one of my big thinkers told me that I wouldn't be in the business. I was at the level I was at if I wasn't extremely good at working with people. He also pushed me to take the time to go get things to setup for the business, to set the process, to go after the goal is to do the right thing. He helped me stop and just take a look at all the business I was doing. And he also challenged me to make sure that the time I was investing was spent in front of the types of people I would want to bring into my future arc, that arc that the people could come in and I'm bored my business. He helped me move away from transaction business into a much more people strategy. Your big thinker is the one who helps you discover your strengths, builds them up, and thanks to help you think even bigger than before. Your big thinker is also the one who shows you the old tape your plane in your head and helps you destroy that old record and create a new one. 130. Activity Find Your Big Thinkers: It's your turn to find your big thinkers. Let's do an activity together. Step 1, identify one new strength big thinker who could help you do the following? One? Discover your strengths to build up your strengths. Three, think even bigger. Step 2, identify one new tape, a big thinker who can help you do that with the following. One. Show you the old tape you're playing in your head to suggest a new tape that challenges your current beliefs and paradigm. 131. Surround Yourself with Industry Giants: Imagine meeting once a month with a group of people who are all more successful than you are. But once you get to the point where you're more successful than everybody else is. Well, it's time to find a different group of people to hang out with. I'm always embracing this concept. When I go to industry meetings or I have meetings online, for example, I make a point of knowing who the big kahuna desire. I seek out those who are really successful and I talk with them. 132. Seek Out Giants at Key Times: You need to seek out giants at key times. For example, many times when people go to industry meetings or their online talking with people, they'll say, Hey, there's John Doe, the industry giant with the amazing following. But they won't introduce themselves. When you go to industry meetings when you're online tongue with a group of people, instead of just hanging out with just the group from your office or from your life currently. Try stretching yourself. Go meet with the people who are giants in your life, giants in your industry. Go talk to them. When you see that industry giant next time, go up and introduce yourself. Here's what it might look like when you see an industry giant named Joe. Hey Joe, Well, how are you tonight? I wanted to introduce myself to you. My name is Jason tick and it's great to meet you. I'm a new person in the industry, only in the business about a year or so. And when I think about my future in this business, you inspire me. I want to emulate what you've built and want to ask you a question here. He wouldn't mind. So what would be one bit of advice as a person looking back at his career that you might give me as I move forward in my business, what would you tell me to do if I wanted to accomplish things like what you've done. If you get an opportunity to eat a meal at an industry meeting and you see a hugely successful person sitting down having lunch, go sit down next to her, ask her if you can sit there, start talking and engaging with her. Here's what it might look like if you saw an industry giant named Aaron having lunch here and is anybody sitting here? What do you think of the meeting so far? Yeah. I actually, I'm I'm new to the business and I really admire your work. I've read a lot of articles about you and actually read a couple of your books in. I just wanted to see if I could sit here and talk to you for a little bit and maybe pick your brain, find out what would really make, make, make me successful in the business the way you have? Would that be okay? 133. Put Time in After Giant Seminars: Just the fact that you are in this program right now indicates you want to be a student of the game, but that's not enough. It's only about show, it's not just about showing up for the seminars are watching this stuff online. It's also taking the information you hear in the seminars and putting into play in your life, you need to be a student of the game. And a student of the game always wants to be better and always seeks new information to do that. A student of the game has the Kanai approach, constant and never-ending improvement. That's Kanai. He always has a little bit of information on what's out there so he can be knowledgeable and wise when something comes up. He knows his strengths, he knows his weaknesses. He knows when opportunities present themselves, and he also knows when to bring another person in the game to help out, to help out with something that's a larger than he can handle on his own. For many of us, we get motivated. We get excited to go to new seminars and to watch programs like this. And we would love watching industry giants who will help us build our practice. And then afterwards, we don't change. If you don't change your habits, then nothing is gonna change for you. So what's the point of going to a seminar like this? If you're never trying out the new techniques in the marketplace, that's half the fun. Trying them out in your life. Remember, it takes 17 days to form a new habit. When you go to seminars like this one, the one you're in right now, take the information and do the one hour per week of practice for three months to build a solid habit, get licensed or credentialed, and as many things as you can start forming new habits that make you better. Take this stuff and put it into practice. All the activities, make the habits public with somebody and be accountable to them. Take online seminars that have industry giants in them, get videos that allow you to develop your skills. You can watch at home or listening your car on the way to work. But these programs have industry giants, find the ones with the giants you love leading them that can help you develop yourself and meet your goals for always, constantly improving. 134. Activity Surround Yourself with Industry Giants: It's your turn to surround yourself with industry giants. Step 1, identify one new industry giant that you would like to meet at your next big meeting or online step to practice the language we use to introduce yourself to that industry giant in person or online. Step 3, identify the next three programs or books that you want to attend to read either in person or through video or whatever in your organization or personally. Step for schedule one hour per week for 14 weeks to review this program and work with the material and activities to build a solid habit. 135. Stay True to Your Vision and Make an Impact: I'm going to show you how to stay true to your vision and your goals and make an impact by living out your true worth. You probably have done things in your life or career to earn the respect of others. You probably deserve more respect than you've been given. And probably even more respect and you've been giving yourself credit for. Now. It is a matter of taking that respect and turning it into self-belief. Do that and you're in a position to live out your true worth today. If you're living out your true worth, it means you have a belief that you can add value. And with that belief, you only attract people to your life that share your values. Without it, you take anyone who surround yourself from personal life to colleagues and clients with people that share your values. Why bother? Because now your days are only spent with people that share your values, which is a very rewarding and enjoyable place to be. The issue with Worth has to do with your belief. Do you believe you have a lot of worth? Believing you have a lot of worth in living out your true worth are synonyms. We will behave differently with regard to all aspects of our life and our business. If we have the confidence, knowledge, or belief that were successful, valuable and we possess worth, when you believe you have value to share, you become a valuable person. So why might you fail to believe in your value? It could be a simple self-esteem thing. If you have relatively low self-esteem, you'll carry yourself differently. You'll act differently in front of prospects and other people. And you'll allow a quote, I need you more than you need me type relationship to develop with other people. But if you truly believe you have something to offer and you come at it from a point of view of carrying in sharing, sharing that message to the world. Well then it's I have something to offer and I'd like to help you. You see the difference because you believe you have something of value to offer, you will act differently. There's a difference between conceit and respect. You must earn respect before you can live out your Chu worth. But respect is insulation against confidence being perceived as conceit. So how do you get there? The answer is humility. The goal is always to be humble about your value and your true worth. Humble yet confident. Well, how do you keep humble confidence from becoming conceit? Confidence and enthusiasm can be mistaken for, can see. You need to be aware of this and massage your personality style to manage this. While still being true to yourself. Humility makes you attractive. Conceit is off-putting. Concede comes off as a challenge to others, prompting concede in response. Conceit is confidence that is disproportionate to the acts that prove on value. Some people will wait for others to ask them to lead rather than demanding followers. This is humility and confidence and action. They trust that if somebody has asked for their advice, guidance, leadership, well, it's likely they have also have the respect for those people. Living your true worth is not a fake it until you make it sort of thing. It's a believe it. And then lipid sort of thing. I'm going to show you three ways to live out your true worth in this session. First, you'll identify how valuable you are. Second, you'll learn how to accept how valuable you are. In. Third, you'll bring that value to the rest of the world. 136. Identify How Valuable You Are: If you don't feel like you have anything of value to offer in your life where you are now left with this mentality of I need everybody more than they need me. And that means you now have to spend your time with anybody because you believe you need everybody. This well, this morphs your life and your goals into transaction focus, goals with shallow relationships, not the territory of high success and achievement. Some of you may be asking, what do people really not know how valuable they are? The answer is yeah, really? This phenomenon is called the negative 80, 20 experience. In the early years of your life and your career, you may have 80 percent negative reinforcement and only 20 percent positive. For every positive event that occurs, there are four negative ones that can come with it. And that can make it hard to remember and focus on that positive 1 enough the field valuable. There are so many more opportunities for a person to say, no, pause, procrastinate, and ultimately reject you and your goals, your business, your life, your dreams, etc. Let me give you an example. Say a teammate may refuse the hard work to achieve the team vision and to quit. And you're left to the normal human nature intervals of day in and day out living without conscious reflection. Those for negative events can overshadow the positive one to the point where you, you may forget how valuable you were in that positive event. The good, well, just get lost. And we get lost in the noise. 137. Reflect on Your Past and Progress: So let's reflect on your past and your progress. Try something for me. Go all the way back to your very first day working on a goal or in your business, or in a sport, or whatever you were trying to achieve when you didn't feel like you had any value? What did that look and feel like for you? Chances are you are lost or overwhelmed. And you question was you had to offer anyone, but that didn't mean you had nothing to offer. You just needed perspective. At three years or more with that goal or that business or that sport or wherever it was. It may be time for some reflection in perspective again, generally, what can you offer others after three years of learning, growing, and doing? Well, what good can you do with your life goals? There are five answers I'd like you to write down with me. First, ask challenging questions that no one else will. Second, helps someone understand complex subjects. Third, apply abstract concepts to other people's lives. Fourth, highlight other people's strengths. And fifth, identify other's weaknesses in partner with them. If you apply these five keys to your life, good things will happen. You will start to see your true worth. For example, try this, reflect on your relationship since day one with someone. If you can help understand a complex subject, That's a value. Now, how many times have you done that before? How many times have you explained a tough concept, an abstract concept to a person, and helped her apply it to your life. Have you helped others identify weak points in their lives? Develop a plan to highlight and build on their strengths, help them work towards their goals. Those are all specific examples of the good you can do in your life with your goals, with others. 138. Find Examples from Others: You can find examples from other people. Have you ever had at least a couple of people say, thank you for helping me. Thanks for helping us. Every time person says thank you. It's highlighting value that you provided and worth that you have to offer. Don't blow past these. Keep every thank you. Note E-mail card from other people. If you aren't saving them, you're missing out on a huge aspect of recognizing your true worth. When you're feeling down on your abilities, feeling overwhelmed, or you just need a pick me up during a rough week. This collection is your treasure trove. Tangible notes that remind you of the help and value provided written by somebody else or incredibly powerful. He remembered that you're awesome, you're smart, you're hopefully you're carrying. You don't suck. Even if your last three attempts at trying to convince somebody otherwise is the case. I actually have a drawer with all these, so I don't forget, it's an opportunity for my reflection, a confidence boost for me, and it's reinforcement of the value I bring. And what I'm ultimately doing. Try it sometime. 139. Activity Identify Your Value Adds: It's your turn to inventory your experiences to identify where you add value to others in your life. Reflect on the first three years of one of your career, family life, or key vision or mission, or goals you've been working on achieving. Step 1, write down a time that you were able to ask challenging questions of another person and no one had asked them before. Be specific. Step 2, write down a time that you helped someone understand a complex subject, complex subject be specific. Step three, write down a time that you were able to apply an abstract concept to a person's life. Step 4, write down a time when you were very successful in highlighting a person's strengths to him or her. The specific step I write down a time when you were able to identify a weakness for someone that that person was not aware of, and then you partnered with that person. Step 6, reread the answers you wrote for the previous questions. Those are five times that you've done good in your life. Steps out and create a folder, electronic or hard copy to start collecting any notes, cards, thank yous that you've received from other people. Step eight, create a repeating monthly or quarterly reminder on your calendar to read through your notes and evaluate your specific values in instances that you've done good for others. 140. Accept How Valuable You Are: You already identified numerous ways that you provide it value to others and done good in their lives. But for some of you seen a list of ways you have worth, it's not enough. It can be there on paper, but you don't accept that the lists mean you have value of the difference between successful and unsuccessful people when it comes to value and true worth, comes down to the ability to not just see successes, like to leave them and know that you were an essential element in it's all up in your head. Non-successful people have success. Thank you card some others. Good job. Emails. They have them. They just don't yet believe them. The way a successful person does. The successful person just has an easier time looking from finding an accepting the value that she's provided because she's been even more successful and has the label of success to go along with it. At some point, you have to stop doubting yourself, accepting the fact on paper that you see and focus on your successes, and accept how valuable you actually are. The first step to accept how valuable you are is to recognize the difference between accepting and identifying. 141. Recognize Difference Between Accepting and Identifying: Before I can convince you to deconstruct the mind game your plane, that prevents you from accepting your value. You need to see how acceptance is different than identification is really common for people to not be able to move from identifying value that you've demonstrated to accepting that you're valuable. You can look at this list. You can agree with the list, but it's still hard to believe the list. Concern from a different angle. Like how other people have a hard time accepting what you tell them in spite of the numbers that you present them with. Think back I think back to a time that you helped someone understand how successful he or she already was. You probably showed him or her the math and how he or she can live life without fear of running out of money, for example. But chances are. He didn't believe you. The first time. People here, especially good or reassuring news. They often silently question it while saying they understand. But in the back of their minds, those skeptical people are saying, yeah, there's something that can happen that would screw this all up. I don't really believe you yet. Usually takes a few conversations or even years before the person truly believes what you've been working so hard to tell them. And that is months or years before that person starts confidently living their life. People can see the numbers, understand the numbers, but they won't necessarily believe the numbers right away. Now, it's okay to have a hard time accepting your value, but don't lie to yourself that you've already accepted it. If all you've done is identify past demonstrations that you don't yet have, that you have you truly convinced. Don't lie to yourself. 142. Break Down the Hurdles to Acceptance: The second step to accept how valuable you are is to break down the hurdles for acceptance. You see when people go through the checklist from the prior section in this lesson, they often invent a hurdle of mastery or an obstacle of comparison. Even if half the list is checked off frequently, they invent an obstacle. Yeah, I did these things they say, but until I can master this, I'm really not that valuable. Or they decide they fail by comparison. They say, I know I can do these things, but I can't do it as well as so and so, and so it doesn't really count. Now there are three illusions preventing your acceptance. Write these down with me. Number one, your need for acceptance. Number 2, your comparison to others. Number three, when you make your momentary rejection into something that is permanent. Let me say this another way. I want you to really think about this. There is no mastery of any of the things on the list, or in your life or in your business, there is no finish line, no magical perfect answer. If you set mastery is the goal, you will never be able to measure up to that, and you will forever stand in the way of your true worth. So why can't you accept your value? Well, you may hear what I'm saying. You see your list on paper, conceptualize. And conceptually it makes sense. But you just can't get to accepting it even after dumping the mastery, dumping the comparison, dumping the rejection and excuses. So what flips the switch to belief as different for everyone, but it may present as logical epiphany like it did for me. Let me give me an example. I had a couple of clients that were very smart people who were very likely capable of coaching their own lives. And yet they valued what I had to offer. Now why would a savvy person choose to work with me if I didn't have something to offer. Inversely, does it really make sense to let someone who can barely add 2 plus 2, who won't take your recommendation. Define yourself. Value. Has you rejection comes in and it will, it will never stop. It needs to be reflection on your time, your timing, not sure value or reflection of the person's value in his or her point in their life. See the difference. 143. Value the Opinions of Others: Lastly, I want to share some things with you about valuing others opinions. Hopefully, I've already convinced you of the value of saving the notes and the positive feedback from others as proof that you have provided value. And maybe you're on the path to accepting your value by giving up illusions and excuses. Well now it's time to value the opinions in those notes. There are messages in them that ought to be valued for what they actually say. And not just because they provide an emotional boost on bad days. What if you were to value what others value? How would that change your life? Think of the people who have helped the most and the people you most respect. How can you look at them and dismiss the faith that they're putting in you, your skills, your values. You can't let them down. They trust in you. They appreciate what you've done. You're not going to call them liars and say that you didn't help them, right? I mean, on the flip side, don't let the knucklehead person who doesn't know a left hand from a right and bring you down. If you're truly doing the best, the most ethical work you can. And somebody says, Not right now, go to the next goal. Even if the ultimate person says, no, you have provided value to others and this no is a reflection of him, not you remember that. And it will go a long way for you. 144. Activity Become Able to Accept Your Value: It's your turn to break down the hurdles and unwind the mind game you play that prevents you from accepting the value you've already identified that you offer other people. Step 1, what is the longest it is taken one of the people in your life or your business to believe what you're telling him or her about what is possible with your help. How did you finally get him or her to accept what you were showing? Step 2, which allusions to accepting your value are you struggling with most? Go back and look at the video if you need to, and write down some examples from your past that demonstrates these desiring mastery when it is not possible, is that one? Is it comparing yourself to others and assessing your value? Is it letting momentary rejection negate concrete past instances of value? Step 3, go back to the illusions in step 2 and write the word excuse his next to them, or over the top of each of them is step 4. Think of your most successful and savvy people in your life. You know the ones that seem to know how to do things all for themselves. They are the one person that feels easy to manage and work with because he or she is doing so much write allready. He or she understands why you make the recommendations you do. And he or she is willingly able to make changes to put the plan in action right down that person's name. In step 5. Y is the person from step 4 working with you? If he or she is savvy at things, why is he or she bothering to work with you and not do it solo? Why is he or she working with you and not somebody else? Write down why that person values you, what value you must be bringing to the table to make him or her stick with you. Step 6. Fine. Two notes in your folder of of appreciation from earlier in this, in this section. And write down messages that mean the most to you and why. 145. Bring that Value to the Rest of the World: No matter what you do for a living, you're in a service business. And as such, you need to be wired with a servant mentality. Everyone needs to be connected in dedicated to delivering a fan has to be experienced to others to achieve their goals. Do you know what the number one quality and trade is of the best and most successful people and the most successful businesses in the world. It's falling through on their promises. The response time on all communications needs to be impressive. Any miscommunication towns from a person requiring the same day response. Even if you have no answer to their question, a successful person owes others a confirmation of the receipt of the inquiry and a message of I'm working on it and nothing goes overnight without some sort of response. We've also discussed the importance of honoring commitments while demonstrating that principle also ties into bringing your true worth to the world, you must be committed to doing what you say you're gonna do. If you promise something, I'll have x to you in a week, for example, but you don't live up to the promise of Dalit. You deliver it in two weeks. You failed. You just lost the person's trust and you've diminished your value. I know rejections a part of life. You can't control it. But what you can control is your attitude and your reaction to it. 146. View Rejection and a Possibility and an Opportunity: You cannot physically help everyone that needs help. You don't have the capacity to do that. When somebody rejects us temporarily or permanently, it gives us an opportunity to find somebody that's ready to be helped. How many times you've been thinking this? I know I can help this person if he would just let me in the door. Consider all the time you're spending trying to convince him. There are five more people waiting outside your door, metaphorically speaking, but you can't let them in because you're so busy with the one guy, they won't let you in. You spent hours and hours thinking, dwelling, beating yourself up. You spend hours trying to convince him. He spent hours reflecting in working with a coach or a mentor. These are hours that are, you're not answering the Knox from other great people for other great goals. Think about that. Here's the thing. Scarcity is scarce. People trick themselves into fighting fruitless battles with a skewed perception of scarcity. There is no shortage of people, clients, opportunity. So stop acting like you're operating in a world of scarce opportunities. Let's say there are only 70 great opportunities in your city. You approach the first one on your list with the mentality of I have to get this opportunity and it doesn't want to be reeled in. If you go out and get the other 69. Do you really think that that first one who's now the last one is going to continue to hold out. Let me end with an example for you from my own life. Once I tried and failed to work with Mr. Big years later after bringing in several of Mr. Biggs, friends, and colleagues and as my clients, one of those clients gave me Mr. Big as a referral. I responded with I tried calling him a few years ago. He wouldn't take my call. And in the end, the client brought Mr. big to me. Now if I had continued fighting the battle to get Mr. Big when Mr. Big wasn't interested in, I would have missed out on the opportunities that the friends and colleagues presented. And that's a lot of lost or delayed success all for one person. And in the end, I still ended Mr. big because I let it go. Then I moved on to other possibilities. That's how I viewed rejection as a possibility and an opportunity. 147. Activity Bring Your Value to the Rest of the World: It's time for an activity for you. It's your turn to bring value to the rest of the world. Step one, consider the list of practices that get you to success from this session and write down three that are not currently in place. We're consistently practiced in your life. Step 2, write down the one that we'll focus on making a habit immediately, and how you will do that with your goals. Step three, make a list of your five, the 10 biggest opportunities in your life. Include opportunities you're currently working to do in those you intend to do, but you haven't done yet. Step four, rank your list in order of most desirable, one to least desirable or profitable, 10. These are all your biggest opportunities, but there's still has to be some priority around which you pursue first or most. Step 5, put an X next to the ones that won't budge. Step 6, look at all the opportunities without the x, and these are the opportunities you're letting others grab up while you paddled with the ones you marked with an X. Step 7, re-rank your list, putting the opportunities with the x's at the bottom. Commit to leaving these alone, except the rejection. And explore possibilities with the rest of your list. 148. Use Your Success to bring Success to Others: I'm going to show you how to use your positive success to bring positive success to others by living out, giving. First, imagine the people in your communities seeing you as more than just an outstanding success, but also as an outstanding human beings. Recognizing you as a person of great character and integrity. And if somebody others once in feels better being around, how fulfilling might it be to note that people say, you are very aware of your surroundings and aware of what other people are going through in noticing and appreciating how you try to lift people up. When you live out giving first, you are taking the steps necessary to allow this public perception and understanding to take place. In Bob Berg and John man's book, The Go Giver, a little story about a powerful business idea. They explained the law of value. Your true worth, they say is determined by how much you give in value than you take in payment. If your true worth is more valuable to you than just the bottom line, will then living out giving is how you demonstrate that true worth living out giving first can mean a lot of things. It could mean first, you want to be there to offer an opportunity to others to communicate with you what's important to them. Second, it could mean you want to be able to listen intuitively to understand other people. If you can understand them, you can understand what they want and what they want to get accomplished. And you can help them and you can give them suggestions to become their best selves. When we understand how we are game changers and what we offer. What are why is, well then we can help people. Living out giving means you want to help as many people as possible with their goals. You're consciously a force for good when you live out giving. So how does it work to give, give, give, and still get your goals accomplished? You'll be immediately more attractive to people. People don't really care how much you know, until they know how much you care. So in giving of yourself, you foster their appreciation of you. Look at it from other people's perspective. When a person meets with you and that person is all about you. It's very refreshing. Most people are so I focused and as a result are so off base that others can smell it from miles away. And it turns people off. Zig Ziglar seems to have hit the nail on the head with his statement that he said, You can have everything in life you want. If you will, just help other people get what they want. You cannot live out giving first by acting like you're doing it. You actually have to believe it and live it. It's a feeling you get an energy source. It's about moments that words can't describe the sense people get of your great character and your integrity, and the recognition that you're there, creating possibilities for those other people and their goals. It's amazing. Let me give you a few examples of this. Let's say that you work in an office where clients come to see you. Here are five surprisingly simple examples of ways to live out giving first, in that scenario. Number one, you can hold your doors open for other people. Number two, you can call it a chair for people. When you meet other people and you sit down. Number 3, you can wait to eat until others start dining. Write these down with me. These are really powerful things that are simple. Number 4, you can make others always feel appreciated and valued. And lastly, you can walk people through the car, including the parking garage. Just imagine if you did this. You might not be someone who works in an office and you can do these five things. That's not a problem. I promise you to stay tuned and you'll discover in this session why and how this will work for you. But first, you need to know something you cannot live out giving first. In order to get something you must give without expectation, with the right attitude about it. You'd have them about giving simply for the sake of giving, living out giving gets you out of your own way. Given little ways first, which will accumulate over time to become big giving. In this session, you're going to learn three ways to live out giving. First. First, you'll learn how to identify your greatest gift for others. Second, you'll learn how to live out that people use serve. Third, you'll learn how well you serve others. 149. Identify Your Greatest Gift for Others: Let's start with how to identify your greatest gift for other people. You need to identify your greatest gift for others so that you can become the best giver possible. When you identify your greatest gift, you're able to use that to operate at your highest capacity for impact. Each person's greatest gift is unique because every human being is unique and individual. So it's unrealistic to expect any two gifts to be the same. Here's my greatest gift for others that I identified. I will use my blank canvas creativity, futuristic ideation, and my maximizing cleaning to awaken, teach, optimize and refresh the servant players and inspire, motivate, empower, and refresh them to serve others. Now, I was able to identify my greatest gift for other people as my ability to help them visualize their most amazing future and then help them achieve it. Put another way, I believe that vision drives decision and I help people make decisions. Easy ones and hard ones. This is my mission statement. You can do this too. In fact, you may have already identified your mission statement in an earlier session of this program. Once you know your gifts, update your mission statement from the beginning of this course to make sure you're including Baum in how you will help other people. You started a good one back in the beginning of this program. But if it doesn't grow with you and now is also reflecting your greatest gift. It isn't the right mission statement for the gifted and gift giving. You. 150. Seek Outside Counsel: The next step is to seek outside counsel. Listen to what other people have always said about you. The most telling insight on what others perceive as your gift might not be what is said when you ask, Well, what would just say my greatest gift is? But instead, it might be just when they seem to be always talent talking about your what they always are telling you. The people who know you the best, the ones who have seen you grow from childhood or even maturity through a young adulthood, often have the ability to see your gifts most clearly. They have the benefit of time reinforcing your gifts to them over and over again and making it seem obvious that you are great at acts or in an inevitable that you went into y and c, outside input on your greatest gifts doesn't have to come from people who have known you forever. Accountability, partners, coaches, mentors can all help you see your gifts. And their role in your life is to help you keep living the best version of yourself. So even in a short period of time, they can often see your gifts highlighted amongst your skills as you face challenges. And you can also become a student of your life, uh, personal growth junkie. I like to call it a day if you find yourself attracted to people and the way that they operate, in how big they've become in their own world. This may be a viable option for you to gain further insight into your gifts. So seek out the advice of those distant experts. Read the books they suggest, listened to the audio is they suggest do the things that helped them become more powerful and create more possibility. And as you try things on for size, you may find a consistent sweet spot in which your growth, your confidence, your success, sores, and that sweet spot might just be a gift you never recognized. 151. Assess Yourself to Gain Understanding: Most people who take assessments find that the assessments are on target with their preferences and approaches. And that knowing a label with more descriptions around it provides a level of clarity they've previously lacked. Taking self-assessments can help you gain an understanding about yourself. And all of these understanding that you gain will make, you may filter away some of the mental and emotional clutter that's hiding your greatest gifts. Now you may not agree with everything in every self-assessment. And that's okay. Take as many as you can. And as you analyze the results, you will find some common themes. So consistent strengths and repeated weaknesses. And the more objective information you have at your fingertips, the more easily you'll be able to identify the areas of your life in which you flow with the greatest ease and success. And with that, you can work to improve and highlight those even more. Now strengthening your strengths and uncovering your natural gifts, vast what these assessments are all about and self-assessments and insights from people that you know and trust can be incredibly valuable to your process of identifying your greatest gift. But chances are, you already know what it is. Maybe not actively in the forefront of your mind, but deep down, you probably know, listen to your inner voice telling you what your greatest asset is. Your intuition likely knows what is in your DNA. You just need to quiet your mind, stop overthinking and acknowledge what the rest of you already knows. And if you have an idea or two, but aren't confident in them, compare them against the self-assessments and the feedback from the outside world. And it maybe they're telling you the same thing in different ways. 152. Activity Consolidate Insights on Your Gift: It's now your turn. Let's do an activity to try this out. It's your turn to consolidate the insights you already have at your fingertips to identify your greatest gift. Step 1, dig through your emails, file folders, journals, et cetera, and pull out as many completed self-assessments as you can find. Consolidate them all here in this training companion of this chapter of this program and make a note of which you have taken and the summary results step to put a star next to the ones that resonate most with you that you feel really hit the nail on the head and have captured the essence of u. Step 3, find another one to two self-assessments to take to make sure you've made something current in the mix. Step 4, add the results of the new self-assessment to the table in step 1. And then step 5, identify the commonalities and the themes that are consistent between all or most of the self-assessments. Paying careful attention to the ones you start. These likely touch on what you intuitively know about yourself. Does communication keep coming up? Your ability to follow through and do what you say you're going to do. Step 6, reflect on the feedback you've received from mentors, from leaders, from managers, from coaches, friends, and from family. What themes are common across all or most of these sources of positive feedback to you. Step seven, now compare the themes from your self-assessments with the themes from people in your life. Where do they overlap? Write those down in your training companion. Step 8, add to the list in step seven, any strengths or gifts you feel are missing from the list. Step 9, review, update, and reflect on this final list once a week until you truly believe that something from this list is your greatest gift. 153. Life Out the People You Serve: Relentlessly coming to the table to challenge, inspire, and ask great questions to help the people around you think about the things that they would not normally think about. Well, that is living out the people you serve when you accepted the responsibility of your life, your business, your set of goals that you took on. You took on a commitment to others, perhaps your clients, your team, your family, yourself, conducting yourself always as a force for good. That's what honors that commitment. You need to honor your commitments to other people in our lives, in our careers. It's all about others. It's not really about ourselves. Think about it. Others are your livelihood. Stay accountable to other people or to people to whom you have made commitments to help them achieve their dreams, their objectives, their goals, your efforts to honor the commitments that you have made, either in what you have directly stated or what's your role in their lives implies. This is paramount. The most important thing you can do is to do the things that you told others you would do. This is called your original commitment. And it's imperative, Libby not giving up in order to live out giving first, this is imperative. So make sure you have systems in place to follow up and to maintain a great relationship with other people. Give them the white glove treatment throughout their relationship with you. And you will become their go-to person, the one they think of always with anything in their lives. Once I was working on a presentation with an attorney. Now they reviewed the presentation and eventually got to the last topic which the client was lacking entirely. And this person was making it was about energizing and making are honoring a commitment. And I told the client, what I would love for you to do is this gives you the choice to implant this technique, which I will help you do. I'll help you do the analysis and walk you through it. I think it's probably one of the most important topics you could cover. The client said, Okay, Jason, that's fair. And I said, okay, well, in order to create this blueprint and in order to show you what it can do for your presentation, I need some data and then I can put together the possibilities. So the client said, yeah, I can give you the information. Well, I then did the work and I send it to the client to review. And I said, in the event that you don't want to use all these topics for your presentation. Here's what I think would get you the farthest with your audience. And you know what the client said. In response. He said, Jason, I really appreciate you thinking about that and it's something that I probably need to do. Now. How is this honoring commitment? Well, I helped the client think about an area of his presentation and his life that he wasn't thinking about. But that needed to be handled because it was an area that could really help his presentation. And the explicit commitment that I made was to bring options to the table for the client to think about. The unstated commitment was simply that as the client's coach, I was looking out for the best interests for the client and his presentation. I honored them both in one action. Let's see how this applies to you. 154. Honor Your Commitments to Your Team: Let me give you another example of Lebanon at the people you serve. So you can really start to see how this might apply to you. Do you have a staff that you work with that you have hired? And even if you don't, this example will help you understand what it looks like to live out the people that you serve. So hiring a team is a lot who work. The recruiting process alone is time-consuming and can be overwhelming. With too many great candidates and a budget too small to hire them all. Or feeling like you're scraping the bottom of the barrel with not a viable prospective staff member in sight. But once you bring your staff on board, don't forget the commitments that were made during that hiring process. Yes, of course. You will pay them the agreed upon wage. You'll grant them vacation time, et cetera, and they better deliver on who demands of the job as they so eloquently stated that they would or could during the interview. But the commitments we're talking about are not so obvious as the ones I just shared. We're talking about the things you need to deliver on in order for your team to do their jobs up to your standards. More often than not, people leave jobs because of their manager being inaccessible or micro-managing them, or lack of advancement or lack of opportunities or support to do their job successfully. Rarely do people leave because of pay alone. So are you honoring those longevity and success feeling commitments to your team? You give your team the room to grow and to be who they want to be. While also feeling part of something special. Validate that each of them is a critical element of what your team is building and allow them to celebrate together in the achievements of the team like achieving goals, helping to build interdependent working relationships to reach a bigger purpose. Do you see where I'm going with this? Enabled them to help clients empower them to correct course along the way to ensure the team is in the best place possible. The book dream manager is a way to help you understand this better, to connect with your team or anyone else in your life, your staff, your family isn't as likely not working out of the goodness of their hearts. You, especially your staff here and declining to receive a paycheck. They're working because they have goals and dreams that a paycheck progresses them towards when you fully honor your commitment to them by not just paying them the salary. Well, to help pay for their dream and actually help them achieve a longstanding dream or a goal or two. So the book that dream manager by Matthew Kelly is a great start to help you do this. And I want to wrap this around now to help you with your life. 155. Honor Commitments to Yourself: So lastly, you want to honor yourself. The earlier in this session we said success and goals are all about others and not about you accept that you do have to focus on you a little. Your family, your clients, your team, or any others in your life still need to be your top priority. Their success in security as a prerequisite to your own. But you are still in that picture to focus exclusively on others, to neglect or outright denial of her needs or goals is not going to get your goals accomplished anymore than putting yourself above your other commitments. Knowing what you have promised yourself, the goals, dreams, plans, commitments that you've made yourself is a powerful motivator in a yardstick for your success. You will work harder for others. Even in your worst times. If you have some personal skin in the game, your own success. A successful person honors her commitments to herself, while also honoring commitments to others. And thus she lives out a life of giving. Now in the years when I hadn't achieved success yet, my work environment was less than ideal. I found myself failing to meet my own standards and basically felt like I was operating in cruise control. Fall in industry. Cruise control wasn't a conscious decision. But by not consciously working toward the goals I had set for myself, I paid the price and I missed success for two years in a row. But it was only when I realized what I had missed and I recognized that I was tired of doing my job the same old way, the way I'd been doing it. That it hadn't been helping me meet my goals, that I only then did I make an honoring commitment to myself as a priority. And I found myself in a position to recreate an energy and excitement about the work I needed to do because I wasn't just doing it for everyone else. I was doing it for me to hear are six ways to honor our commitment to yourself. First, set clear, disciplined and habitual practice. Second, step, higher and develop and maintain a great team if you can afford 1. Third, partner in great work with other people forth. Stay committed to the effort. And fifth, create ways to make your goals happened. Last but not least, push hard on people to do things. Now here's the thing. The vast majority of people that achieves success just barely make it coming in. Just to add or no more than what's necessarily the requirement. Only about 10 percent of successful people far surpass the requirement. In addition to this, most people just barely make the cut, but that elite 10 percent or fewer are the only ones able to blow past the minimum requirements to achieve success and hit their goals because they're committed. They push themselves, they work hard and long, and they honor commitment in all aspects of work and life. 156. Activity Reflect on Your Life or Business Practices: It's your turn to do an activity to analyze how well you've been honoring your commitments to yourself through a clear, disciplined, and habitual practice. Step 1, write down the key points of your daily, weekly practice. How many goals are you hitting at this point in your life or career? Sub2, circle, the ones that you regularly fall short of meeting. It doesn't matter why you aren't meeting them, just that you've acknowledged the ones in which you are not consistently hitting the goal. Step 3, why are you failing to achieve each of the circled benchmarks? Write that down. Step 4. Why are these benchmarks something you identified as aspects of your ideal life? Itemize each of them with a value to your goals, dreams, or mission that we figured out earlier in this course. Step five, what's going to help you get those midst of benchmarks back on track. Do you need more discipline to simply do the work necessary in spite of the fact that you dislike it. Have you fallen into a bad habit that has you coming up short each week? Are you unclear of unwatched or why you're creating a particular benchmark, revise your benchmarks and or your detail out specific actions that you'll take to make them clear, habitual, and disciplined aspects of your life. Step 6, go back to the list you first made, put stars next to the things that you're consistently doing. These are the commitments to yourself that you're honoring. Step 7, write down all your successful and newly revised benchmarks, some place that you can review them daily. Your planner, a note card, your computer, a screensaver. Include the keys to helping you achieve the more challenging ones. And put the ones that you start at the bottom of the list and the ones that are the greatest challenge, we'll put those up at the top. 157. Live Out How Well You Serve Others: The key to this section is how well you serve others. It's not just about giving and serving others. It's about doing it totally, completely in, at a 110%. You see if you're serving and giving, you need to be rolling out the red carpet. In the process. We've all had gifts, wounds, ups and downs, successes, struggles, but you have to be dedicated to working through those things to create new openings for growth within your spheres of influence, your team, your family, your clients, your home life to be a consistent goal achiever. That takes a very clear, focused individual. You can't have too many distractions or you will flounder. That can make this habit of living out giving, and working towards success. Well, overwhelming. There's no finish line to the giver mentality or the person you're trying to become. So you need to do it well, always and keep it steady, keep it maintainable. So in order to serve others, you have to take care of yourself first. How well can you serve if you're not personally at a 100 percent? And just like an airplanes where we're told to put on our own oxygen masks on before who help others put theirs on. You need to attend to your own needs before you can offer anything of noteworthy value. The other three ways to take care of yourself, go ahead and write these down with me first, you need to constantly search for knowledge that will help you do it. This programs one example of doing that. Second, you need to work on your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. This program will help you do that as well. Third, you need good habits and to stay self-disciplined, what you need is a genuine, committed, constant search for knowledge. Certainly, that's certainly benefits you, but it also allows you to bring the most relevant and best ideas to the table. Keep your energy and flow up in all interpersonal encounters. And it allow you to present your best self with your top mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health and get the most out of your life and honor your career. And thereby offering you the most that you can use with the people around you through the development of good habits and a great use of self-discipline. This is how you take care of yourself to take care of others. 158. Harness Your Vision: By this point in your career and in your training, you should have a vision statement for your life. Makes sure that you've shared that vision with others that are the ones to help you achieve it. That's what you want to share it with. So they deserve to know what they're working towards and they're measuring against. And here's how you do this. Write this down with me first, what you wanna do is write out your vision. And then next you want to share it with others. And then you want to update your processes regularly and finally, regularly add another layer to your vision. This is the key. So as your goals evolve over time, you're going to need to make changes to processes to accommodate your vision. Maybe the vision itself needs to grow and change. A vision that you only ever look at it. Never update will never allow you and your team or family to deliver, giving, and serving at your fullest potential. But once you've mastered a part of the new way, then add in another layer, maybe make a goal that becomes maybe make a goal five years in a row. A vision that does not grow with you is not a vision for the future. It's a picture of the past. Without a vision for the future. You will only ever given serve the same as you always have, which eventually will not be the best, most impactful experience you could have. Adding layers to your vision in your life of giving takes time and it presents challenges. So allow, allow for setbacks and you're processing growth, your path to success, impactful giving, and success. Maybe more of a roller coaster than a cliff scaling adventure. Give yourself and other people a three to five-year time period to work your vision to a reality. Every action and interaction in your business creates ripples, outwards. Work to change the rebels slowly, working back to the core. 159. Be a Go Giver: It's time you learn how to be a Go Giver. Bob Berg and John David Mann, I've written a little story about a powerful business idea that I want to share with you. The book is called the lawgiver. And as the protagonist seeks advice to make a big sale and achieve the success that he craves. He learns that he needs to change his focus from getting to giving highly recommend this book. And only once he puts the interest of others first and makes it a priority to add value to their lives. Does only when he does that does he find success. Now the ideas in this book are powerful for anyone's striving to live out giving an aiming for major success and achievement like your goals. So write these down with me. There are five Go Giver laws. Here they are. Number one, value, number 2, compensation. Number 3, influence, number for authenticity, and number 5, receptivity. Now each of these five laws will help you get to and stay at your goals. And more importantly, to help you maximize the impact of giving in your life value, make sure you're giving others everything you have. Having great courage to challenge them along the way to ensure that they implement the right things in their lives. Compensation is all about when you care about and for others, the compensation will take care of itself. You don't have to worry about it. It just happens when you apply this technique. Influence is always positively influencing other people, but it's also paying attention to how they influence the people around them. So show that you care and how you care and that influence authenticity is being your best true version of yourself and people find authentic people very attractive. It's been last, receptivity is what happens when people compliment you and appreciate you. The best thing you can ever say is a genuine Thank you. That's receptivity. 160. Activity Apply the Five Laws of Giving: It's your turn to apply the message of the five laws from the Go Giver to your life or business. Now you can still complete the activity if you've not read the book. Here I recommend you read the book, but here's how you do it. I'm going to suggest you write a letter to yourself that you'll read in three years. Explain Holly, you'll have worked to the five laws from the book The Go Giver into achieving your goals, in what type of success you'll be by the time you open your letter in three years. This is an amazing activity. I'm so excited for you to try it. Go ahead and write your letter now. 161. Be Free from a World of Struggle and Hurt as You Set and Achieve Your Goals: I'm going to show you how to be free from a world of struggle and hertz as you set and achieve your key goals in your life by detaching yourself from the end result. Do you bank your happiness on the world around you? Or instead, are you a beacon of hope for other people? If you radiate confidence, then the flux of the world around you doesn't change who you are as a person. You're grounded enough, who you are, that you remain on ruffled. And which with each crisis, you become instantly more attractive, which leads to more happiness, more success. Filename, you deserve not to be controlled by other people. You're about to learn how to take your freedom back from people who have been taken it from here. The only thing you have control over is yourself. You don't have control over anybody else. This session, we'll teach you how to stop wasting time on other people's business. And if somebody takes your freedom from you, that person is called a boundary Smasher. Most people get very hip sad when someone smashes their boundaries and takes their freedom. Well after this session, people won't be able to smash your boundaries anymore or take control away from you anymore. Other people won't be dictating your life. You'll even learn how to say thank you to the boundary smashers. You'll be able to say thank you for trying to smash my boundaries. I now get an opportunity to show that I actually have control over myself. You see, when you're working with other people, they're gonna do whatever they're going to do. Let me give you an example. Let's say you're working with prospective clients and they're either going to move forward with your recommendations or they're not going to move forward. Or they're not moving forward without your recommendations, they're gonna go crazy or they're going to be happy, they're going to be sad, or they're going to be mad or whatever else they're gonna do with or without you. Oftentimes people allow how the others choose to react to affect them. If they're super excited and happy, It's going to change. You, make you happy and use super exciting. If the you are around others, they're really upset. Well then it's going to make the you really frustrated and upset. Much of this chapter revolves around guilt and shame. Most people don't realize how many choices we make on a daily basis that revolve around guilt and shame and what others will think. Conversely, being able to detach yourself from somebody else is an amazingly freeing experience. So what does it mean to detach? It means whatever the other person chooses to do doesn't change who you are. You can drop the rope, so to speak. I'll explain more on that in just a moment. But first, let me ask you a question. Have you ever seen a two-year-old throw a tantrum? I went a two-year-old throws a tantrum because his cartoon was turned off too soon. You might find it funny or are curious. Well, what's the difference between the two-year-old throwing a tantrum in a 40 year-old throwing a tantrum. There really isn't much of a difference. See the problem is that we, as adults, we act like there's a big difference when it with a curious mindset, you view anyone two years old, 40 years old having that tantrum. It allows you to have compassion. It allows you to care about that person. Here's the concept. The key is that even though you care about the person, you don't care about the end result. Bats cutting the rope. When you can do that, it makes you more attractive. For example, detaching from the end result with your clients means that you're detaching from whether you can have a positive impact on their lives or not. You can have a positive impact on their lives. But beating yourself up about whether they're willing to talk to you or not is what you have to detach yourself from. Most people consider the end result as what happens to this client or person and whether or not the person likes them. And that's simply not the case. In reality, the end result is whether the person has had a positive change or not. You wanted to detach yourself from that. Now to help you better understand this, let's look at two possible reactions you might have with a difficult person. The first type of reaction is, I don't care. Most people think they need to not care and even be kinda cold in order to let others not affect them. You may say whatever or cool or what you choose to do is in your neck of the woods. In what I choose to do is in my neck of the woods. This is an unhealthy choice. And the second type of reaction is, quote, your choices don't change me on quote or I care, but I just don't care. In other words, you may express that you care deeply about others, but not about what decisions they make. You may say, I care about you, the person, but I don't care what decisions you make here. This is a healthy choice. So how is it possible not to care what decision the person makes? Well, let's look at the example of that client again. Many people may counter by saying that if they can just sign that one breakthrough client, it could change everything for their business or their life. Well, how then you get to the point where you just don't care what decision any client makes when you really do care if that client signs with you. If you're saying, well, signing that client could change everything for me, then you should identify that as a thought. Let's analyze that thought. What does it really change? It may change some circumstances in your life, but it's not going to change who you are as a person. There's a huge difference. Let's say you do sign this client. Great, you sign the client, but then what? How does it change you? Here's the key. It doesn't change who you are. Just because an event may change your life. It doesn't mean it will change who you are as a person. Signing that client may change your external world. But the signing that client change your internal world. I mean, if you sign that client, you may build. You may be able to hire another staff member, which may even change how you spend your time on a daily basis. But does it actually change who you are? Does it change your values? If this person becomes a client of yours, that client's business may take your revenue from X dollars to y dollars a month. But does it change who you are? The revenue is the external. We're talking about the internal. Does it change who you are as a person? We're talking about your values, your mission, your vision, and your goals. Clients can change your life, but they can't change who you are as a person. Now to take this example to an extreme, let's say you have a client complaint about you to the Federal Commission and he may get your license revoked. Well, that would change your life, but it doesn't change who you are as a person. Will you be sad? Sure. You'd be angry. Sure. Because it's a changed your life, but that person doesn't substantively change who you are as a person. Now the problem is that most people act like most of the interactions they have on a daily basis will change with they are as a person. In this session, we're going to, we're going to talk to you about how you can get to the point where who you are able to, who we are as a person, is able to detach from. And from the end result. You will learn now to maintain your same level of attractiveness and your same opinion of who you are as a person, regardless of whether something good or bad happens to you in your life and your business, whatever, you may not be able to see your field this yet. But by the end of this session, you will be able to, if you choose to follow and implement what I teach you in this chapter, then all of this is going to change for you. What others do won't matter for you anymore because you're detached from the unresolved. It doesn't change you as a person. Now here's how we're going to do it. In this session, you're going to learn how to first identify whose business it is. Second, you'll learn how to find safety to detach from the end result. And finally, you'll even learn how to look forward to the next node in your life. 162. Identify Whose Business It Is: When there is a problem or anything unpleasant happened is 0 life. Oftentimes you'll tell yourself a story to make sense of that situation. Now a story is simply something that you tell yourself. This section, we'll teach you how to identify whose business that story really is. For example, let's revisit the client example. You may be telling yourself that since certain clients did move forward with you, they must hate you. And this is a story who telling yourself, if the person calls you up and says, I hate you, well then you can make the claim that this person hates you. However, a more accurate representation is that this person feels that they hate you, but they don't really hate you. Write these down with me. There are three types of business in my life and in your life. The first is my business, the second is other people's business, and the third is God's business. Now let's dive into each one. My business represents all the things that you directly have control over. Now these are the things you can change that affect your world in your sphere. For example, the choice to be happier not is my business. And this is a big one. Most people live in other people's business and their happiness hinges on external things. Other people's business represents things that you don't have control over. You can influence these things, but because of human freewill, you cannot control another human being. For example, when you worry about whether your friend Joe is happy or not, you're in Joe's business. Whether your staff is happy or not, whether your business partner or spouse is happy or not, whether your kids are happy or not, It's all other people's business. In lastly, God's business is literally everything else on the planet. It has nothing to do with another human. For example, worrying about what the weather is, that's worried about God's business. We're in about a tornado or earthquake in your area, is spending time in God's business. Worried about getting hit by a bus, is being in God's business. Worried about somebody in your family dying, is being in God's business. 163. Identify When It’s Your Business: So how do you identify when it's your business? One of the best ways to do this is to identify what is your business by asking yourself these questions. First, does what you want to require anybody else to do anything? Or is the control and potential all within you? If you're the only variable, it's your business. For example, let's say you want to hire a marketing person for your business. You may really want a marketing person for your business, but you haven't been able to find one yet. Well, if you're the only one responsible for taking the action to find that marketing person. Then it's your business. Write this down with me. There's just one question you need to ask yourself to determine whose business it is. Doesn't require any action from anybody else. You can tell whether you have taken on other people's business and attached yourself to their end result. By thinking about a tug of war analogy. Imagine somebody comes up to you and asks you to play tug of war. He does all sorts of things to try to get you to pick up that tug-of-war rope. And if you let that person convince you to pick up the rope, then you have not learned how to detach from the end result. If you show distaste towards something that that person said or did, then you've attached herself to his end result. Chances are that person wants you to be affected by what he says because then he knows he's got you. You're now attached to his drama and his end result. If you don't pick up the rope though, that shows you've learned how to detach from the end result, the shame, the guilt, or whatever, whatever else to that person's trying to use to manipulate you to pick up that rope. It's not working anymore. 164. Identify When It’s Other People’s Business: How do you identify when it's other people's business? But when you detach yourself from the end result, you gain a clear space. And to clear a world to live in. You can handle things in his functional of a manner as possible. If it involves anybody else and it's other people's business. If it involves you also, it's still other people's business. If you go up to a co-worker named Joe and say, Gosh, joe, I'm unhappy. I need you to make me happy right now, Joe. Well, then you're trying to get Joe to be in your business. But let's go back to the marketing hire example so you can understand this better. Imagine now that you ask Leroy to hire the marketing person for you. You go up to leeway, you say Lee, right? I need you to go find me a marketing higher. Now at this point, you're not getting into Leroys business yet. That's functional. That's how you choose to react to that situation. That determines if you're in another person's business or not. So if Leroy doesn't do his job and doesn't find that marketing hire for your practice. Well, you're going to have to decide whether you want to get in Leroys business or not. When you aren't in Leroys business, you're going to know it because you won't have an emotional charge. Even if Leroy fails to follow through on finding you that marketing hire, you won't have a charge. If you have an emotional charge that causes you constantly to check in on Leroy and tell him he's not hurting your marketing person fast enough. Well then you are in Leroys Business. Write this down with me. There's one way to tell if you're in somebody else's business, there's an emotional charge in you. So how do you stay out of Leroys business? Well, you do it by having the space in where with all to go find somebody else who can find you a marketing hire. You do that by carrying about the person, in this case Leroy and not the end result. A lot of people think that if you're going to be detached from the end result, then that means you should not ever care about anything. Again, that's not true. You can care about someone without carrying about what that person chooses to do. When you can do that, you have detached yourself from the end result in that state is much more attractive. The key to carrying about the person, not the end result, is to show empathy. Rather than getting emotionally charged up. You can't be emotionally charged up and still have her show empathy. If you're emotionally charged, there's no empathy. If you're emotionally charged, then you're up in somebody else's business. Someone is emotionally charged with you. You, you may start to feel the need to be combative, prove something to that person. And if that happens, then that person is probably up in your business. So when you see someone emotionally charged, you can assume he or she is feeling disturbed because he or she can't control another person. It might be therefore trying to use their emotions to let you know that there is a problem. You can have empathy for a person without carrying for the end result. Empathy is not getting in other people's business. Empathy is simply holding space. Take a look at the difference between the following statements you might say to marry, who says something challenging to you? So statement1 shows empathy to Mary. Wow, Marry. You were hurting. I really feel your pain. A statement two is an emotional charge. I can't believe you would say that to me. Mary, do you see the difference? Imagine one of your friends falls off the wagon and chooses to do drugs again. Now you could use empathy by saying, wow, he chose to do cocaine again, and now you're homeless. You can have a lot of empathy for that person in a curious way without getting all charged up about it. You can even cry over it with empathy and still not be in that person's business. But as soon as you start to get emotionally charged, any emotion under the empathy, then that person. And that means you're up in that person's business. Finally, there's God's business. Now God's businesses, anything that you or I simply do not have any control over. If you, the people in the room with you, those in your city or your state, or even the people in your country or the whole world, cannot immediately handle or control something. It's God's business. People who are able to detach from the end result, are able to let God's business be God's business. They focus only on what they can control. 165. Activity Identify Whose Business It Is: It's your turn to identify whose business it is. Step 1, write down something you are not happy with in your life right now. Step two, determine whose business it is by answering the following three questions. One, are the means to complete the task or project all within you. And then it's your business to does it require any action out of anybody else? Well, then it's other's business. 3. Is it something outside of your control? But then it's God's business. Step 3, determine whether you are in someone else's business regarding the task. To do this, ask yourself three questions. One, do you care about the person? Empathy, but not about the end result, what the person thinks of you. If so, you're not in his business too. Is there an emotional charge in you that causes you constantly to check in with that person. If so, you're in his business. In step 4, repeat these steps for each of the big tasks in your life. Next month. 166. Find Safety to Detach: Do you remember how we said detaching means that whatever the other person chooses to do doesn't change who you are as a person. You're not making the scenario mean anything. Detaching means dropping the rope. Imagine a client comes up to you and says, Hey, I can't believe you duped me into buying this product. What were you thinking? You say? I can't believe you would ask me that I'm so angry with you. Well, this response bruise, you're attached to the end result and you haven't dropped the rope, you see the hardest thing that people, the hardest thing for people to do, to detach from are the people who are closest to. The easiest people they detach with, are people who really don't matter as much to you. For example, the person who screws up your order at the restaurant, or the person who accidentally bumps into you down the sidewalk or in an airport has less significance in your life than your co-worker or clients do, bring your family does. In this next section, let's assume you're really bad at detaching. The best way to grow is to admit or imagine you need growth in the first place. Once you do that, you're ready to keep listening. 167. Separate Your Life from Who You Are as a Person: The first step and detaching from the end result is to separate things that affect your life from the things that affect who you are as a person. What others do may affect your life, but their actions don't affect you as a person. And how can that be? Isn't your life can affect you as a person? The answer is no. Things may affect your life, but that doesn't mean they need to affect who you are as a person. Now, to help you really understand this, I want you to try to answer the following two questions. Number 1, do you have the capacity to create safety and clarity for yourself? Number 2, do you have the proper environment in space to be able to, based on your skill set, to find clarity and detaching. See, we're talking about creating a world that's very foreign for most people. How do you find safety detached from other people's business? The answer is by separating what affects your life from what effect she was a person. Let's say someone close to you is having troubled detaching from something. For example, imagine that one of your colleagues named Benito, feels the need to manage yourself all the time. In particular, Benito feels the need to manage her staff member all the time. Now let's work with be needed to help her detach from the end result with her staff member. Here's how the conversation Here's how the conversation goes. Well, is it serving you that you're watching melody like hawk? And what, what do you make an amine if you don't watch her like a hawk, she's not getting a job done. Okay. So let me ask you this. By watching her like a hawk. That's what's actually causing melody to do what? Get anxious, scared, and paranoid. And whose businesses it anyways, I mean, is, are you in your business, are you in melodies, business? Melodies. So is it possible for you Benito, to say to yourself that what melody does doesn't affect you as a person. What do you mean? Well, are you able not to worry about what she does? Because what she does is not your business. When you're worried about what your staff does. Here in other people's business. You don't have to be happy with the choices that melody makes or your other staff makes. You can even fire her if you want, because that's your business. Will directly send to help her because she needs help to get things done. When the answer is sure you care, but you just don't care. What I mean by that is, you can care about someone without carrying what the person chooses to do. So when you can do that, you've detached yourself from the end result and that's much more attractive and inviting for your team. What does that mean? Well, I mean, you can have empathy for a person and that's the carrying without carrying for the end results. You can care for the person, the empathy without caring for the end result. I care about you. I want you to be successful. Jason. I'm having a really hard time accepting the fact that even that things could change my life. They don't change me as a person. I mean, if melody turns out to be a really poor employee, that could really change my life. I recognize that, but I'm struggling to understand how it doesn't change me as Benito, what makes you, you? I'm loving, caring. What else? So powerful. That's who you are. When you look at that list, you'd probably say, I feel good about this as my values and who I am. Yeah, I felt really good about that. Meli does a great job or a crappy job as an employee doesn't change anything on that list about you. See, you're saying that whatever melody does, it doesn't, it doesn't change who I am. What I detailed on that list. Her actions could change my life, but they can never change you? I am. Yes. Exactly. And this was the aha for bonita and I'm hoping it is for you to most people when they get to this point like bonita finally getting dizzy. All things that could change your life don't really change who you are as a person. 168. Separate a Value from a Thought: Once you know it doesn't change who you are as a person. In order to fully feel safe enough to detach, you need to be okay with the fact that even though it changes your life, you're still going to be okay. Now this is a hard concept to internalize, to grasp really apply to your life. Do you feel competent enough not to pick up the role? Do you feel in control of yourself and fully able to detach? At this point, Bonita, like most people said to me, But Jason, if my staff member makes a bunch of big mistakes, then I can list off all sorts of bad things that are going to happen for my business. What was my response to Benito? Well, but eat it means you're going to live in a van down by the river. And what is the van down by the river? Well, even when you get the aha, you may still struggle with the fact as Benito does, that if something in your life goes downhill, it may mean a bad existence. You should know, that's just a thought. Everyone has a negative thought every once and awhile. But it's just the thought that we can remove and replace with a better thought. So we're going to pull you out of that thought. Because the reality is that you're not going to live in a van down by the river. To handle that thought, ask yourself the following questions. First. What's the worst that can happen? Second? And then what? And then you repeat these questions on and on. I actually tried this with Benito and here's how it sounded. But Jason, if she screws up on the job than I can just have all sorts of bad things that are going to happen to my business, to me. So it means you're going to live in a van down by the river? Yes. Even though I get that, it doesn't change who I am as a person, they still feel like if something in my life goes downhill, I'm going to have crappy existence. And what's the worst that could happen? Screws up on something, I mean, and I lose a client. And then what? I lose a client. And then what? She does it again. And then what? I'm going to have to reprimand her again. And then what I mean, she could do it again and now listen to me. And then what? I rectifier melody. And then eventually, eventually I'll state myself that I'm just not good at maintaining a staff in there it is. What are you making that mean about yourself? Will maintain my staff is not one of my positive value traits above loving, carrying, special, powerful. So, right, so it's a value. You're saying I'm not good at maintaining maintaining staff and that statement is not a value. It's a thought. Benito. This brings up a very important concept. The difference between a value and a thought. I shared with Bonita, that as you're spiraling down, thinking of being in a van down by the river, there will be some negative thoughts. You can differentiate though, between the negative thoughts and your defining values as a person. For example, a thought might be, I'm a terrible boss. A value on the other hand, might be I'm loving. Let's say it gets so bad that you have to fire her. I'm pretend that, you know, this conversation is coming up with melody. What are you feeling? What are you thinking? She, she's not a good employee. She's actually been terrible. She's running my practice into the ground that so what is the conversation going to be about? I need you to tell her she's fired. I know she's going to make you thoroughly guilty and it's giving me a horrible. So do you feel you have the proper tools to have a conversation with her without getting triggered or feeling guilty or shamed. What do you mean? Well, I mean, when you fire her, do you feel like you have the tools you need to stay calm and collected to be able to do that? Yes. So tell me how it's going to go. Do you see what's happening with Bonita and how this applies to you and your ability to separate a value from the thought so you can find safety to detach. Do you see how to apply this to yourself? Maybe this will help. Imagine a colleague in sales says to you, I just got an apartment. I just got a car. I have all these bills on a monthly basis. And this was my big case for the month. Now this person is saying he doesn't want to do it. I actually owe back $10 thousand now and now he calls it he wants to meet I'll betty wants to cancel everything. My life's over. What would you say back to your colleague? Here's what I would recommend you say. What's the worst that can happen? Now when your colleague responds, you can then say, and then what? And then just repeat that again and again until the colleague start to realize everything's going to be okay. Remember, your thoughts may lie to you and tell you that this bad thing is going to mean a bad existence. Remember that's just a thought. These questions are going to pull your colleague and you, if you try this with yourself in a moment out of that thought. Because the reality is that you're not going to live in a van down by the river. And these questions, they'll prove it to you. 169. Show Empathy Without Picking Up the Rope: You know, you have the confidence to detach when you can show empathy for a person without picking up the rope. In other words, without caring about the end result. For example, when Benito has this conversation with their staff member, he can fire. She can fire the staff member and show empathy for this situation as long as she doesn't pick up the rope in becoming tangled in the end result, she has enough safety to detach. When you can detach, you will achieve success. You know you've found the safety to detach when you're able to care about the person and show them empathy without carrying about or trying to fix the situation. We're trying to change what the person will be do about it. Now to help you see this concept, take a look at the two scenarios of bonita firing her staff member that illustrate what it looks like to do this poorly. Let's start with the bad scenario. A banana firing her staff member, where there is detachment, but no empathy from Benito. Let's watch this. Okay, Let's role-play this. I'll be melody. I can't believe you would do this. I've been with you six months and you've barely helped me with anything. You expect me to know what I'm doing. I've tried so hard for you, Benito. My gosh, I'm never going to be able to pay the rent. My family, we were struggling before and now, what am I going to do? Is there anything else you'd like to share melody? Notice it Benito was able to detach yourself from the end result, but she wasn't able to show any empathy. Now, let's look at Benito when she shows a lot of empathy, but she's not able to detach yourself from the staff member. As you see this scenario, notice how Benito gets in the staff members business. I can't believe you would do this. I've been with you six months and you've barely helped me with anything. You expect me to know what I'm doing. I've tried so hard when my gosh, I'm never going to be able to pay the rent. My family, we were struggling before and now, what am I going to do? Melody? Just to let you know I really do care about you and the months, the mouse that you have to feed. But you kept screw up over and over and over and over again. And do you know how much damage that's caused my business? Notice that Benito wasn't able to detach yourself from the end result in she ended up seeing even more damaging things to her staff member. What good will do to say those things to the staff member? Notice that Benito is asking the staff member to take ownership for this situation. But do you think the staff member really, really will take ownership of all the destruction? That was caused in beneath his business. It's the staff members business. Benito is now all up in the staff members business and beneath it is now requiring something of her staff member. What about you? Are you and other people's business? Whenever you're requiring something of somebody or somebody else so that you'll feel better. You are in somebody else's business. For bonita, it was saying, do you understand how much destruction you cause to my business? Why do people say these dysfunctional things ultimately wrapping themselves in other people's business. It's like a hit of drugs. It makes them feel better, but it doesn't help the situation. In fact, it often makes it worse. Think back to the tug of war. Benito needs to feel better about herself and the end result. So she feels like she needs to win this conversation and prover point. She needs to feel like she's right in letting her staff member go. She needs to feel less guilty about this situation. Vineet is likely thinking if she can't recognize the fact that a staff member can't recognize the fact that the staff member screwed up my business wealth and the staff members should be gone too. And that's Benito being up in the staff members business. Benito is trying to legitimate ties in her head, how she's right. She needs that validation from the staff member to prove that she's right, but neither would probably love it if the staff member said, I totally did screw up your business and I probably should be fired. This would make Benito feel better about herself and give her validation to fire that the person. How about you? Are you trying to do this with people in your life? Are you trying to get validation from others to make yourself feel better about their situation or to prove that you're right. Are you trying to pick up the rope and attach yourself to that person's situation. If so, you may be trying to do one of the following things. Number 1, maybe trying to feel sure you're right. Number two, you might be trying to feel less guilty or feel better about yourself, or feel better about the situation. You might be trying to feel better about the end result. You might even be trying to win the argument. You might be trying to get validation from the other person. You see Benito is seeking validation in hoping to make herself feel better about what her decision wise when she says to her staff member, do you know how much awake and destruction you caused in my practice, she's trying to legitimate ties her decision, trying to prove to the staff member that it's the staff members fault and the decision to fire is a good one. And this is a very small and unattractive place to be. You are essentially saying, I need you to admit what you did is wrong, otherwise, I'm going to be upset about you. Are you doing this? Are you detached from the end result of situations in your life? Well, guess what? There's a way to tell. It's called the detachment litmus test. If you're trying to prove something to somebody, you're in somebody else's business. If you're detached from the situation, you don't have to prove anything to that person. So what does all this look like if it's done well? Well, let's take a look at a good scenario between Benito and her staff member. Let's see what it looks like. As Vineet a fires her staff member after the person found both the safety data, after she found both in the safety to detach with this person and she can show appropriate empathy. In other words, we need a cares about the staff member and is showing up with me, but she's also detached from the situation that she doesn't care about the end result. Let's take a look. Melanie. How are you doing today? I'm all right. Melody, I want to have a difficult conversation with you. It's going to be difficult for me. But one thing that I want to let you know is that I care about you deeply. I care about your well-being and I do appreciate you. And I like you as a person who silently know. And this is something I'm very open to talking about, but at this time, your services are no longer needed. And what that means is, in this stage of the game, were no longer going to be working together. I'm open to having some discussion with you. But just know that the end result is going to be that there's no longer a place for you on this team. I can't believe you would do this. I mean, I've been with you six months and you've barely helped me with anything. You expect me to know what I'm doing. I've tried so hard. My gosh, I'm never going to be able to pay the rent. My family, I mean, we were struggling before and now, what am I going to do? Yeah, just just to let you know I care about you. Okay? And I'm here to listen to you Melody. I'd like to hear more about that. If you'd like to tell me more. I my my ex husband is being very insensitive and before I took this job, I had a hard time putting food on the table for my three kids. And his job was my saving grace. I don't know what I'm going to do now. Yeah, I can understand is very tough. It's incredibly tough. I can't imagine the position that you're in, but just so you know, I'm here for you. Is there anything else that you'd like to ask me or anything else that you'd like to share. So what just happened? How did we need to find safety to detach when Benito was able to detach yourself from the end result. She didn't have to prove anything to this staff member. When Benito showed empathy and also detached. Benito is thinking to herself, or the end of the day, the staff member, whether or not you recognize that something was wrong here, it doesn't make any difference because it doesn't change me. And this is a much more free in an attractive place to be. As opposed to saying, I need you to admit that what you did was wrong. Otherwise, I'm going to be upset. And did you notice that Benito was holding space? She's holding space for the staff member. She's not putting that staff member off. She not putting up a brick wall. She's listening and she's showing by her body language or tone and her words that she feels for this person. And it's a really tough situation. She says she's not taking it personally. She's not picking up the rope and making it her business to fix the situation or managed the end result be needed is not need a validation from her staff member. Beneath it is not banking her worth on her decision on the staff members reaction. She has separated her value as a person from the outcome of this situation. If you're trying to prove something to somebody, you're in somebody else's business. If you've detach yourself from the situation, you don't have to prove anything to the other person. This is called being curious and exploring. Whenever you are in other people's business, there is an emotional charge to remedy that situation. In overcome that emotional charge, the first thing you wanna do is spur curiosity. Being curious allows you to explore. It opens the way for change. And that gives you a fighting chance to remove the emotional charge and to eventually detach. 170. Activity Find Safety to Detach: It's your turn to find safety, to detach, to learn how to separate things that affect your life from who you are as a person. You need to do for this exercise, you just do. Step 1. Write down five characteristics that make you, you step to share with a partner. Well, one thing in your life that has gone downhill recently or may go downhill in the future that you want to control. Answer the following questions regarding that situation. One, if it goes downhill, what's the first bad thing that could happen? Two and then y. And then you just continue asking and then what until you get to something unrealistic? Do those bad events change who you are as a person? Do they change the characteristics you listed in the previous step that make you, you? Step three, share with a partner a situation in the last month where you are trying to pick up the rope with a client or a status, a family member, or a person in your life to get validation, to feel less guilty you better about the situation, or somebody to feel better about yourself. How well did it serve you to stay attached to the end result? Are you making it mean if you don't stay attached, whose business are you in any way? Is it possible for you to say to yourself that what that person does doesn't affect you as a person. And if that person does a great job or a terrible job, does that change anything on your list of what makes you you 171. Look Forward to the Next No: You have victory. When you can be curious about a situation and detach yourself from the end result. When a month prior, it would have set you off. You would have picked up the tug-of-war rope then. But now you can resist. Imagine in the next month that another client, another coworker and other family member or friend or acquaintance comes into your life and causes you Anxi in anguish and whatever other negative emotions you can think of. In the past, you would have picked up the rope and played tug of war with that person in the past. It may have affected you, tugged at you and drained you. Now, you have the skill set and the tools from this session to be able to work with that person. And it won't affect you. What an amazing thing to be free of. When you feel this feeling of victory, you actually start to look forward to the next opportunity to say no to picking up the rope. When you actually do that, you will find yourself standing back and saying, this is amazing. It's amazing to have that clarity and not have to pick up the rope. 172. Take Turtle Steps to Detach: So how do you find safety to detach? When you initially find safety to detach, It's by going through one of these situations using turtle steps. You want to start with something that isn't that big of a deal for you at first. For example, take a look at your bills, see if you get an incorrect bill. Or consider an upsetting email from a client. The key is that you have the ability to take as much time and space as you need to have a little victory. Suppose a client sends you an email that says he wants to cancel all his business with you. You have the ability to craft an email response back to that client. Shows you are not picking up the rope. Here. Here's what the email response would look like if you're not picking up the rope with this client. Okay. Sounds good. We can take care of that for you. Before we do that though, I typically want to have a short debrief call. So let's set up something, some time to do that now and I'll reply to this e-mail. Could you please describe to me the reasons you want to cancel? I want to dot my I's and crossing my T's as to why you want to cancel your business. Now, take a look at an email from another person who instead of detaching, is all up in the client's business, trying to get validation from the client to make himself feel better about the situation. He is attaching himself to the clients and result. Here it is. Before we do anything, we need to make sure we get together and talk about this. Do you see how controlling the second response sounds? It's seeking validation by seeing that before anything else can be done. Well, this person wants to get together as opposed to the first person who said, okay, Sounds good. We can take care of that for you when you start to achieve this positive result. Even once, even for something as minor as an e-mail, you actually start to want to experience tougher situations that will test your ability to detach yourself from the end result in tougher spots. You can take turtle steps to more and more grand situations in which you need to find safety to detach. So to ensure you will always have safety to detach. Explore it what realm, and in what spear you hit an environment that does not feel safe anymore, then you need to work on that one. And you can work on your safety to detach in your office with your coach at home or wherever you can say the following thing. Here it is. How can I handle the situation and detach from the results? And how can I care about the person, but not the end result? You can always grow stronger on this front here. The bar can always be raised for you to continue to find safety to detach. And when you're able to start looking forward to the next no. That's when you know you have victory. You start to experience more and more of the following phrase. I'm a master of this. 173. Take Bigger Steps to the Next No: To actually implement this in your life, you need to set up a practice routine where you can implement nose in your life. Then you can practice detaching and start looking forward to the next node. These need to be real life teaching scenarios to make this practical for yourself and to come away with actionable, real results, you need to understand a little bit about the stages of learning. At the first stage of learning, a person is skeptical. What are they talking about? They say, the second stage, he's receptive. I can see what they're doing. At the third stage, the person is engaged. Well, I can do this with help. At the fourth stage, the person is sold. I can do this by myself. And at the fifth stage, the person has mastered it. I can teach this to others. You want to get to the fourth, fifth stages of learning where you can do this on your own and even teach this to others. And when you do that, it will be a remarkably empowering and freeing experience for you. But first, you need to go through multiple scenarios again and again. And you must up the ante each time. Remember, boundary smashers are people who tried to smash into your boundaries and try to control your emotions or the end result of the situation. When this happens, you will be tempted to try to control their emotions. And the end result of this situation for yourself and get into a tug of war. When that boundary Smasher, for example, a client comes in and you can sit there and have a victory over the know. By being detached from the end result. You will actually start to thank the boundary Smasher. You get to the point where you're not upset with the client anymore. You're actually thanking them. You're thanking him because he's showing you something about yourself. And he's giving you the opportunity to grow. See if it wasn't for him, then how else would you grow? For example, suppose somebody close to you, giving in your family, such as your spouse, your mom, your brother, or your sister, tries to smash your boundaries all the time. That's awesome. Now you get to practice on that family member. Then when you get with a prospect or a client who tries to smash your boundaries, It's easy compared to resisting your family member to practice taking bigger steps and looking forward to the next. Now, with your boundary smashers, you can follow a 10 step recipe. Now the first couple of times you do this recipe with boundary smashers, you're likely going to have to write everything down. You want to prove to yourself that whatever action that boundary Smasher takes, it doesn't change who you are as a person. It's like you're assuming you're an alcoholic. You are in the room with a bunch of other alcoholics and you're all playing tug of war with each other. And how are you going to be the one person not playing the tug of war? When you do these 10 steps for the first time, start off small. Don't try to bite off more than you can chew. If it's more than you can chew, you need to bring somebody else in width you who can help you with these steps. And as you do these steps, assume it's a safe environment for you. Whether you with your buddy or you're alone, you're going to go into the room with the boundary Smasher and you're going to have whatever conversation needs to be had. Even if it's tough for you at this stage in your growth process, it seems tough now because it triggers you, but you will likely see it as easy in a few months. So here it is. Here's the 10 step recipe for you to employ in detaching from the end result. And following this plan will allow you to stop playing tug of war with others in your life. Step one, ground yourself by taking a deep breath. Step to be curious by asking yourself, what am I making this situation mean? Step 3, Ask yourself, whose business is it anyway? Step for thinking about your values. Who am I as a person? Step 5, ask, do I have the skills to disengage? Six, ask, do I have the safety to disengage? Step 7? Consider, what's the one area in which I can avoid playing tug of war? Step 8, bring somebody else into help you. Someone who won't pick up the rope. Step 9, go have the conversation with the boundary Smasher. And step 10. Afterwards, ask, What could I have done differently? Now after you have done these 10 steps, if you don't get triggered, you have a victory. You can now look forward to the next. No. 174. Activity Look Forward to the Next No: Now it's your turn to look forward to the next. Now, suppose a client sends you an email or someone else send you an email saying they want to cancel all their business or cancel working with you or whatever it is. Step one, ground yourself by taking a deep breath. Step to be curious by asking yourself, what am I making this situation mean? Step three, ask yourself who's businesses at anyway? Step 4, think about your values. Who am I as a person? Step five, do I have the skills to detach? Step six asks, Do I have the safety to detach? Step 7, consider what's the one area in which I can avoid plane, tug of war? And step eight, bring somebody else in to help you. Someone who won't pick up the rope. Step 9, creating e-mail you can send to this client in which you're not picking up the rope. And step 10, repeat the steps above for any situation which you find yourself being tempted to pick up the rope and attach yourself to the end result. Good luck. You now have what you need to set your goals, achieved them, and detach from the end result.