Transcripts
1. Introduction: Hi, my name's Alina. I'm a graduate student of Clinical Psychology and I see way too many people sabotaging themselves. Either they're not pursuing the creative passion that they want because they're scared that they're going to fail or someone else has already done it before, or they don't take a major life decision that would be very crucial, but they're so paralyzed that they don't dare to take the first step. So in this course, I want to give you a brief introduction into what self-sabotage is and why we do that in the first place. Then I would like to talk to you about the difference between self-sabotage and intuition. And I would like to give you a few tools so that you can stop sabotaging yourself and going for the life that you truly want to live for full disclosure, this is not a punch fear in the face course. We're gong to non-mental your sabotage kindly. I, you want to unblock you to live a creative life and to fund more courage. And we're not going to do this in an aggressive or entrepreneur in the face way. As a course project, I'm going to provide you with different journal problems that are intended for you to discover how you actually sabotage yourself, what your own very special mechanism has to hold you back from living a brief life. And hopefully in those journal prompts, you will also find the key to stop sabotaging yourself and on the lock your best, most creative life.
2. Why We Sabotage Ourselves: So why do we sabotage ourselves? Well, first of all, most of us do it because we feel inferior. Inferiority in itself is quite normal. I mean, when you're a baby, your contour, anything had been hopeful you grow up to be a capable adults. But there will always be certain areas in your life where you will want to improve or you can improve or you should improve. That's basically up to you. But inferiority in itself is normal and it can be very positive if it's a driver for growth. If, for example, you noticed that your communication pattern is not ideal and you struggling your relationships. It's very good to notice that you're inferior in those skills and then improve them to have a better relationship. Inferiority is bad if it stops growth. For example, a view become so scared that everyone will see Hong fury you are, or if you believe that you are so inferior that you will never overcome this obstacle and you stopped trying. That is when inferiority is bad, You have a greater risk that inferiority is going to be bad for you. If you have very low self-esteem, if your behavior is more focused on attention and approval than on fulfilling your own internal goals. And those goals are completely unrealistic. And another reason why we sabotage ourselves is coherence. We need the world to make sense. So if, for example, you get a great opportunity to show your writing, that might be very terrifying because maybe deep down you think, well, you know, how to know, Should I do children all odds? And maybe then you don't even try hard and off because your internal belief is that you are a bad writer. And because your internal believe that you're a bad writer is so persistent, you have to make sure that everything else around that core belief makes sense. So you're going to know, try when you get the chance you're going to perform worse. They actually could, just because this belief is so strong and you need coherence and the world to make sense so much that you basically adapt your behavior to this core belief that you are a bad writer. Another reason why we self-sabotage is because of, first of all, civility. As human beings, we don't like change. If you ever tried to install a habit or change one, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. We are a deeply terrified all change even if its positive change by the way. So then if there's a possibility to change in a bad scenario, you could go one of two ways. Either you believe that you're so flawed that you were never able to change, you're never able to do anything because of all the herself fundamentally flawed or others other problem that's also a very popular one. It's always the other person and William parents don't support to your boyfriend, wouldn't approve of this. You'll girlfriend needs who to make more money than you would as an artist or whatever. You will always find reasons to change. And it's very easy to just outsource their responsibility and sailboats, others, uh, well, you know, I'm just fundamentally flawed that blocks and defense against having to change very easily what taking the courage to change and take on responsibility, not just put it in, into other people's hands is very hard. And that's why most of us self-sabotage. So the first round of trauma problems is supposed to dig a little deeper into why you feel inferior and how you try to externalize responsibility. So first of all, I would like you to journal on where do you feel inferior? And second question I would like you to ask is, who are watts to a blame to keep my own story coherent.
3. Self-Sabotage vs Intuition: One thing that is very interesting to look at with self-sabotage is the difference between self-sabotage in intuition. Because I mean, in both cases you kinda have this little voice near hat and it can be very hard to tell, well, it should I listen to this internal voice or not? So we're going to look at that in this little lecture to make a very general distinction between self-sabotage and intuition. We can say that self-sabotage does not like growth because growth needs change. And if you follow the voice of self-sabotage in the short-term, you might have a very relaxed feeling because I mean, the fear that you will have to change or the anxiety about what's coming in the future if, if that's going to be different than what you're experiencing now is gone. I mean, that's why you keep doing it because you have to good short-term feeling of lessening your anxiety, lessening your fear. But the long-term consequences of listening to yourself, sabotage or voice are in negative. Intuition, on the other hand, is all about growth. Yes, change is scary, but you want to self-actualize your intuitive voice once you to grow, once you do become better, once you tilt with the life that you really want. And it's open to go for a life that might be risky and not just safe while following your good intuition. Very scary. It increases anxiety, even it doesn't lessen it like self-sabotage does. You will have good long-term consequences. So alive that's lived according to their positive intuition, voice is going to have good long-term consequences. In order to be able to distinguish between those two voices, it's crucial that you know yourself and to get you started in self-awareness and self-understanding, I prepared to journal prompts for you. The first one is, have my decisions made me grow or shrink. In order to answer this question, you can choose any time period that feels appropriate and might be the last year or the last two years or maybe the last two weeks. The second journal prompt is, how do I feel short and long-term about my decisions? This is supposed to give you a long-term view about how your decisions, what voice you're going to listen to you. He is going to affect your life.
4. Tools to Overcome Self-Sabotage: So now that we've done this groundwork of explaining why we self-sabotage and what is the difference between self-sabotage and intuition? I would like to give you a few practical tools about how you can stop sabotaging yourself. First of all, you need to be honest. That is not going to be a nice experience, but it's so unnecessarily you need to assess your risk of inferiority having a bad influence on you. That means you need to ask yourself, what is my self-esteem like? Is it low? Is it normal? Isn't high? How do you feel about yourself? You need to be honest about what your behavior is directed at. Do you wanna seek approval? Do you wanna seek recognition? Do you want to stand on the podium and being applauded by 1000 people, you need to see whether your goals are actually a realistic question here is to ask yourself, why did you give in to self-sabotage to protect yourself? Because I mean your Psyche, your soul, your mind, whatever you wanna call it in once you protect yourself, it wants you to stay safe. It wants you to stay protected. And that is why it's going to keep you from taking a risk. And white wants to lessen your anxiety. So when you look at what parts of yourself you trying to protect by self sabotaging, you have to take an honest look at where you are the most vulnerable. And that also means exploring your inferiority. The next thing you have to do is you have to break free. And this is not a reference to the High School Musical thong. And even though I'm pretty sure it's going to be stuck in your head now. But what I mean is that you need to break free from those three factors that keep you in the self-sabotage behavior. So first of all, it's inferiority. And in order to conquer inferiority, you need to be very curious and very open Internet Explorer. Well, where do I feel inferior? Where do you have skills that are lacking? Because in the end that is going to lead to growth. When it comes to coherence, you need to accept that there is going to be quite a period where you will have to tolerate uncertainty and ambiguity. That is just part of being a human being, having an interesting life and being on Journey. Things don't always have to make sense. Sometimes they only make sense when you look back. When it comes to responsibility, you need to reflect and sort of react. That means you need to break the loop of automatically assigning the responsibility and the blame to others or just real resigning and being like, well, you know, I can't help it. I'm just not good enough. I can't do it. But you need to take back control. And in the end, what it all comes down to is courage. Because living a brief live, living your creative life, facing your fears, facing you inferiority is taking responsibility, being okay with ambiguity and uncertainty. That takes a lot of courage. So the last two journaling proms, I would like to send your way. Are these two? The first one is, do your fear. What do you need me to know? This can help you to give a voice to the self-sabotage. Because luckily, if you just push it down, it's going to find a way to come through one way or another. So giving your anxieties, your fears of voice, and giving them a chance to speak will likely less than them. The next question is, do you Courage? What do you need me to know? And this is to explore the intuitive side of you. The ones that would actually like to grow, the one that will actually like a challenge, that one that might be open to take the next step. If you give both of these voices a space to talk, you will have this internal dialogue that is mostly on autopilot, on paper. So you can actually look at it and you can see, okay, where do we need to take my responsibility? Where do I have the sense of coherence that might not be necessary? Where do I feel inferior in? Is that good or bad? And with that, I really hope that I could give you a few tools and especially the journal prompts to find out why you self-sabotage, to find out the different voices in your head. What is self-sabotage, what is intuition? And hopefully I could also give you a few ideas about how you can stop there self-sabotage. So I'm super curious to hear and read what you have to say about these journal prompts, your answers. What are the projects you're going to take on once you get out of this loop of self-sabotage, I wish you all the best in your new brief creative journey. And I hope I see you again here sometime soon. Take care and bye bye.
Alina
