Transcripts
1. Welcome + What You Will Learn: Hi, and welcome to this online training while be showing you how you can become a confident and boost your self-esteem is really short and intense course. So we learn everything related to confidence and self-esteem. How you can have a more positive and confident language, how you can have a better body language, more confidence. You will also learn how you can transform negative situations into more positive situations. What are the things that you can do in your life? To be more confident? These are the things that we are going to see. So I wanted to make this concert is short and really intense to show you what really works. What are the things that are truly important to building your confidence and your self-esteem. So that's what I'm going to reveal here in this course.
2. How To Build Confidence At Anything With These 2 Questions: What are the two questions that you can ask yourself to build your confidence at anything. So I'm sure that you have a goal in your personal or professional life where you would like to be more confident in, you will say, Oh, I want to be more confident at giving presentations. I want to be more confident when interacting with people. What do you want to be more confident in? And then when you have defined what you want to have more confidence, you're going to ask yourself two questions here. The first question is, what did they do well? And the second one is, what can I improve next time? And the goal here was to question it to start taking small actions daily towards your goal. And then you're going to reinforce them positively with these two question here. Because if you think what is confidence? Confidence about showing you brain that you are able to do something well over and over again. That's confidence. So what we want to do here is defined the goal defined where we want to be, where we want to have more confidence. And then we're going to take daily actions, small daily actions towards that goal. And we are going to reinforce them positively with the two question here. Let me illustrate that. Let's say that you want to, you want to be more confident approaching people.
3. How To Use The Power Of Your Focus To Build Confidence At Anything: How to use the power of your focus to increase your confidence. You must understand that a situation is a situation. That's a situation, okay? But now there are two ways to look at it. You can look at it from the lens of the glass half-full or the glass half empty. And confident people will tend to look at situations more positively. There we'll see the good in situations. They will see the opportunities. And people who are low confident that we'll look at the world through the low confident glasses. It means that the will, the will look at the word and say and see everything. They lack, everything they don't have compared to other people, that we see, everything that's wrong. And basically, if you, if you understand it's a choice, the situation is the same. It just how you interpret it that will impact your level of confidence. To the key here is if you want to become a confident, start looking at life more positively. Start looking at life as if there was great things for you. You have a choice here. Let's imagine that you can wear two glasses. The first one is a green glass. It means that you can wear the green glasses and you will see what's create, what should you do? You did well. You will see what you have compared to other people. You will see opportunities instead of problems. You will see things that you can give to people who see value you can give to people. And you have the red glasses that you can wear. And you will see everything that you did wrong. You will see everything that people do wrong. You will see everything you lack. You will see problems. The situation is the same. And if you want to become a confident, I encourage you to start looking at the situation with the glass half-full. What is really interesting here is that confident people, they will focus on themselves, on the things that makes them great. So you say, Oh, I have this value compared to other people. They won't be saying, Oh, this is what I lack compared to other people, confident people that will look at other people. And then they will say, Oh, this person here has this quality, has this kill that I don't have yet. And then they're going to start working towards that. But never going to look at other people as something they lack or something that impacts them negatively. So this is a great key here. Look at the word more positively and that way you will be able to see the great thing. And you will be able to build confidence.
4. How To Use The Power Of Your Language To Boost Your Confidence: How to use your language to boost your confidence. So confident people, they use a language, an inner language that boosts them. It means that it's a language that encouraged them to take action, encouraged them in life. And most people who are not confident that we'll try to destroy themselves, their site to take them down. What's going to happen is that if you, if you become aware of what you tell yourself, you can dramatically improve your confidence level. My exercise here for you is to just be aware of what you tell yourself. And for a whole day, You're not going to judge what you tell yourself. You're just going to write it down. And at the end of the day, you will have a sheet, a piece of paper, and you will look at it. And you're going to ask yourself this question here. Is it positive? Is it negative? And most of the time use a lot of negative things to yourself. And when I did this exercise here, I would tell things like, I would say things like, Oh Alan, you are loser island, you are going to fail. Alanine not going to succeed Allen, your hair, it looks like shit, like it was really terrible. And I asked myself this question here. Why do I allow myself to say the things? Why would I say that to a friend? And the answer is no, because if I say that to a friend, this friend wants day my friend very long. But we allow ourselves to say negative things. So what we want to do here is to just analyze, become aware first of the self-talk that we have. And then we are going to improve that. How are we going to do it? We're going to create five sentences that are short, powerful that you can use. Anytime. For example, I have L and you can do it Alan. Alan, you are great. Alanine are going to succeed Allen. Let's do it. These are my five sentences that I have and I tell myself all the time, because if you say something consciously, it will override what happens unconsciously. So if you say a lot of negative things unconsciously, by saying something positive consciously, it will override that. So what I encourage you to do, you take a piece of paper and you write down five sentences that are really short, that has your name and that has something like Ireland Marie Emily, you can do it. You are awesome. You are great. And you're going to repeat them over and over again during the day. Now, something is really important here. Most people would say, Ireland, your grade on your awesome. And when there is a disconnect with what you say, NGO body language, your brain will try to find out what's true. And as a communication between two people, 7% our new words and communication between two people, 93%, our nonverbal. And it's the same thing here with ourselves. So if I say Alan, you are awesome. It's only the 7%. But the nonverbal, it means the emotions that I'm feeling, the tonal voice, everything that is non-verbal. If I if I say that with Oh my God, I don't believe it. Like Harlan, you awesome. The brain. We'll look for the 93 percent, which is the non-verbal part. So it's really important when you tell yourself the sentences that you add, passion, emotion, and you can even overdo it. For example, instead of saying, Allen, you can do it is a Ireland, you can do it. And I can see I'm, I have power. I'm tapping into my power right now just by saying that. And it's really, really powerful. That's why I encourage you to write down your five sentences every morning. You go in front of the mirror and read them out loud. And you add passion, emotion, and certainty. And you know how to say things with certainty. Now it's all about seeing them to you.
5. How To Boost Your Self Worth: How can you boost your self worth? So it's important that you should remind yourself of the value that you already have. Low confident people that will be focusing on everything they lack, on everything they did wrong. And they will forget that actually there are things that they did. Great. They did well. There are things that they were able to do in the past and that was great, That was awesome. And the brain shuts that down. Because as they are, I'm not truly confidence. I'm not going to focus on the things that I did well, I'm going to focus on everything I lacked. And then it's a cycle and it continues. Confident people, they are aware of the thing that they were able to accomplish in the past, the things that they were able to accomplish well. And that works great for them because there are always focusing on the positive side of life, on the things that they did great. And then the reinforced that I'm not saying that they don't look at everything that can improve the look at that. But they look from a lens of 0. I'm going to see this situation on what I can improve. I'm going to learn from that and build on that and reinforce that positive and negative, not negative people, low confident people. Though, we'll be looking at the situation and will be saying, what did I do, What did I do wrong? And there will be repeating that over and over again and they will leave. They're not going to learn something from that. They're just going to repeat that over and over again. It would traumatize them and then they won't be able to take new actions because they will always have this thing here. That'll happen. And it will be playing the movies, the negative movies in the line. So a great way to do that is to start changing your focus and focusing on your self. Worth. A great exercise is that you take a piece of paper and you write down, why do you have value as a human being? What are the things that you are able to accomplish in the past and that's where great that you did well. Why are you ask them? So the idea here is to take a piece of paper and write down, I'm awesome because I have value as a human being, because what I did well is, and then the goal is to write as many sentences as you can, try 100 sentences. And if you do that, you are going to boost your self-confidence and self-worth because we are just showing you brain that you were able to accomplish something great in the past that you have value as a human being. It just about putting some lights on the great parts that are within you, is about unleashing, uncovering the great parts that are within you. So do this exercise and you will see that you will be able to boost yourself first. Now if you want to take one step further, and I highly encourage you to do it. When you have written the sentence here, you're going to go in front of the mirror and you are going to say them out loud. With emotion. You add the emotion of certainty. You're going front of the mirror. Any reading? I'm awesome because I have a master's degree. I'm awesome because I'm a great father. I'm awesome because I like myself. I'm awesome because I love myself. I'm awesome because I have blue eyes. I'm awesome because I am doing something I love with my life. I'm awesome because I have a passion. I'm awesome. You see here, it's about coming up with things. And you see that with emotion and you look at yourself, it's going to boost your self worth. And just regarding to the things that you can say, the thing that you can write. It can be things that are huge. For example, Oh my God, I am. I have values of human being because I'm, I'm a mom, I'm a dad. Or it could be things like, Hey, I'm awesome because I'm alive. No matter how small it is, your brain cannot perceive the difference. So that will really help you.
6. How To Have A Confident Body Language & Feel Confident: Now let's talk about your confidence body language. So the body language that you have will really impact your level of confidence. And this one here is a hack that I love because I am able and people that I coach, they're able to go from low confident to highly confident in matter of seconds. How are they able to do that? It's simple. If you adopt a posture of someone who has low confidence, you are going to become low confident. If you adopt a posture of someone who is confident, you are going to become confident. Why is that? Because our posture, our nonverbal, is linked with our brain. It means that we can either change the body language and then it changed what we think, or we can change what we think. And then it changed the body language. It's easier and it's faster if you change your body language and it changes what's happening, what happens here. So the idea is when you are in a situation where yellow confident, you're going to analyze and you're going to see something really interesting. You are going to have the posture of someone who is not confident. You are going to have your chest close, your shoulders down, you're going to look down. You are going to have a posture that is closed, that doesn't take space. And maybe you have a depressed look on your face. And this is really great. If you have a deeper look on your face, It's really great to be like low confidence. Have a deeper look on your face. You look down. You try to touch your hand. You try to be like low confident. Now, this is how people are and the low confident, I'm not judging, I'm just saying, Hey, be aware of that so that you can change it. And when you are aware of that and what you want to become a confident, you are going to use what I call the Superman posture. You're going to put your chest, you're going to open your chest, pull your shoulders back. You're going to imagine that you're doing, that you have a cape, that you're Superman. You're going to have facial expressions. You can even smile to activate the positive emotions in your body. You're going to have your head, that is trade is not down straight. We're going to imagine that you have a string pulling you to the sky. You're going to gesture a luxury to take space. And if you do that, you cannot not become confident because the body language and your confidence level is linked. Right now, I could be low confidence or it could be confident. And I can go from a level of one out of ten to 89 or 10 out of 10 of confidence, just by changing my posture. So try that next time we want to be confident and you will see, you will become a big success.
7. How To Reduce Your Fear Of What People Think Of You & Rejection: So how can you destroy the fear of what people would think of you and the fear of rejection. So it's normal to be thinking about what does this person think of? What, what do people think of? It's something that is normal and that prevents us from being crazy. But the problem is that if we are adapting who we are all the time to please people, we adapting who we are. We are always worried and we cannot live our life fully because we are always thinking about what people think of us and that becomes a problem. So something that really helped me is that I heard a sturdy that brawny where g. So she she's an Australian nurse and she was taking care of people just be father died. And she asked them a simple question. She asked them, What is your biggest regret in life? And you know what almost all of them said. They said, I regret I didn't have the courage to live a life according to who actually was. But instead, I lived the life according to what other people expected of me. And when I heard that they say, Oh my God, that's incredible. I don't want to be at the end of my life and have regrets. I don't want to have this regret here. And it really hit me like so hard that they say, Oh, I'm going to change how I live my life. Nothing to focus on what other people expected of me and say, I'm not going to focus on what other people want of me. I'm going to ask myself a simple question. What do I want? How do I want to live my life? And instead of having the focus on other people, I put it back here where it belongs inside me. And then I started thinking about what kind of life I wanted to have. And if you are watching this video, it means that you are not dead yet. So even if you are not living a life true to you now, you can start baby step it every day. You take a new action that is more aligned with who you are, so that then you can be in alignment with what you truly want. Another thing, most people think that they can control, what people will think of them. And actually that's not the case. You don't control 100% of the interaction. How much do you control? You control 50 percent. You control your 50 percent. If I'm talking to you, I control my 50 percent. You control your 50%. That's what I call the 50 percent rule. We have 50 percent. So it means that I cannot control what you think. Yes, there are things that I can say or do that we'll have higher chances of you liking me, but I cannot control it. Tonight. I could go to a bar and I could approach a woman and give her a compliment. 111 woman can say, Oh my God, That's amazing. And the other one can say, go away. I don't control it will do a control. I control my 50 percent. I control what is is here in my control. So the question that you should ask yourself is, what are your passions? What are your interests? What do you like doing? What are your goals? Who are you? What are your personality traits? Could you want to become? And when you think about all these questions here, and I know it's deep questions. You don't have to answer them right now. But if you think about having the focus on yourself rather than an order on other people. And that's saying, be egoistic, that you are, you don't care about other people. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, when you are building your life, ask yourself the question like, what do you want, what are your goals? And you focus on making yourself happy. Wasn't than trying to meet other people's expectations. Ask yourself this question here. Are you proud of yourself? There is no need of making other people proud if you are not proud of yourself. So this really helped me a lot. Also, there is the fear of rejection. The fear of rejection. It's because we don't want to be rejected, we don't want to be, we want to be loved. We want other people to appreciate us. And it all comes from, oh, I think I can control the interaction. And something that you must understand is that sometimes rejection is great. I like being rejected not all the time, but most of the time I like because I know that I am mastering my 50 percent. It means that I'm going with great communication skills and I'm showing mice. I am showing other people who I am. And most people as some people don't like it. That's okay. I prefer to have people rejecting me for who I am rather than liking me for who I naught. So sometimes rejection is great because you don't click with that person personally or professionally. That's great. Sometimes it can save time, energy, even sometimes money. And also rejection is not in your control. You cannot control. If someone rejects, you control your 50 percent and they are controlled, they're 50 percent. It means that I could approach someone and they have a really bad day. It's their 50 percent maybe someone died, maybe they got fired. I don't know what's going on. And then the reject me. What most people would do that They will take it personally say, Oh, I don't have any value, I'm a loser, but that's not the case. You must understand that you control 50 percent and they control their 50 percent. It means that don't take rejection personally. When you approach people. Understand that they have their 50%. And even for example, bread pH George Clooney would approach someone. They may get rejected. They get rejected because they don't control the other people's 50 percent. Yes, there will have a higher chance of success than you and me if you're, George Clooney is not watching this video here, they're going to have higher chances of success. But it's important to understand that they don't control it. They don't control the other person's 50 percent. And sometimes people want to give you feedback. It means that if you get rejected over and over again, when you do the same thing, maybe look if you want to improve that behavior in yourself, That's the only time we are going to take it personally. And maybe that's who you are and you don't want to change it, that's great. But by being aware is better. Something is really important. Don't tie your self-worth with approaching. It doesn't mean that this person rejects you, that you don't have any value. And most people think that a lot people who are low confident. So we think that it's really a shame because they say, Oh, this person rejected me, I'm a loser. And actually they didn't see that this person rejected them because someone broke up with them. So don't tie you self-worth with approaching people.
8. How to Stop Comparing Yourself With Other People: Stop comparing yourself with other people. Low confident people that will always compare themselves with other people. They will see everything that other people have and everything that they lack. And what's going to happen is that they are going to be always telling themselves that they're not create enough compared to other people. And confident people, they are going to look at other people for inspiration on the things that they can do. And they are going to compare themselves to who they were yesterday. So confident people will ask themselves this question here. Am I today a better version than I was yesterday? And they are comparing themselves with who they were yesterday. Because there is there understood that there is no point comparing themselves to other people because they, like everyone has a different story, everyone has different goals. Everyone has a, has a different life. So there is no point of comparing yourself with someone who has 20 years of experience and saying, I'm a loser, there is no point. You compare yourself with who, who you were yesterday. You focus on the things that makes you great. You get inspiration from other people, and then you work on that.
9. How To Feel & Be More Comfortable In Your Own Skin: How can you feel better in your own skin? So this one here is an exercise that I would like to share with you that is really powerful and that will really help you. So you go in front of the mirror and you look at yourself. This is how you look right now. Maybe you're going to feel negative things, positive things. You just need to accept how you look, because that's how you look right now. They're going to look at yourself, accept how you, how you look. Then you're going to ask yourself three questions. First question is, what do I like about myself? We wanted to start just reminding ourselves that there are things that we like about ourselves. And you're going to find five things that you like about yourself. Maybe it's your blue eyes, maybe it's your muscles may be to hair, whatever it is, just make a list of five things. Then you're going to ask yourself this question here. What are the things that I don't like about myself and that I can improve. For example, you think that you are a little bit overweight or maybe you don't like your hair. Maybe there are things that you don't like about yourself and that you can improve. And you're going to make a list, try to find at least three things. And then as there are things that you can improve, you're going to take action. For example, you don't like your hair, okay? You're going to call you a hair dresser and say, Hey, hairdresser, help me. And you're going to schedule an appointment with them. You want to lose weight, okay, Great. Come up with a plan to transform yourself. Because these are things that you don't like about yourself and that you can improve. And now the third question is, what are the things that you don't like about yourself and that you cannot improve. These other things that makes us, make us feel insecure. For example, let's say that you don't like the shape of your nose. And these are things that you cannot improve. You don't want to have surgery, like neither the last things that you consider that you don't want to improve. So you think about that, say, Oh, I have this note that I don't like about myself and that I cannot improve. What should you do it with that? You should accept it because there is no point of going through life and having someone that you that you can't, that there is nothing you can do about it and be worried about that. So accepted. So that next time that joined us in that social interaction and someone looks at your nose, you're not freaking out. You say, yeah, whatever. And it will really boost your confidence. So I encourage you to do this exercise. You will see it's really, really powerful.
10. How To Transform Your Negative Emotions Into Positive Ones: How can you transform negative emotions into positive emotions? So what's going to happen? And it happens more to low confident people, they're going to experience a lot of negative emotions. And when I say negative emotions, It's not that some emotions are bad and some emotions are good. It's just that thus certain emotions that don't empower you, for example, stress anger, being, being upset like all these emotions, that human emotions. But they don't empower you to build a better version of yourself. And sometimes it's great to feel them. But if you're always feeding them, for example, when you have to approach someone who does something really important, It's not empowering you in that moment. So how can you improve the emotions? There are three things that you can do. The first thing is that when you are feeling these emotions, is that you must understand that you can change them. Because if you say, Oh my God, I'm just feeling these emotions and I don't control how I feel. It. Just the environment that it's making me, that is making me feel that way. You cannot change it. So first thing is about understanding that you can control your emotions. And I'm going to show you how you are going to change your body. It means that you're going to change how use your body. When you are experiencing negative emotions, it means that your body is reflecting these negative emotions. You will be standing in a way, holding your hands or doing something that matches these inner state that you are having. So what you want to do is a radical change. What, for example, I do when I'm feeling down, I'm just going to stand up and I'm going to jump in the air 10 times. That's something silly I do. I'm going to do some push ups. I'm going to walk, I'm just going to tap my body. I'm going to do something. I'm going to use the Superman posture. I'm going to do something to change my body. Try now, do something to change your body. Can listen to some music that energize you, put something that energize you. And then what you're going to do. You're going to change what you put your attention on and what you tell yourself. So what I'm going to do is that I'm going to picture, remind myself of a great memory that I have. And at the same time, I'm going to use a sentence that empowers me and it can be Alan, you are awesome. So for example, I'm going to change how I feel. I'm going to change my body. I'm going to focus on a positive memory that I have. And then we'll say alanine. Alanine awesome with intensity. And right now you can see I'm in a great mood. So try that. You'll see you can change your emotions. And it's really important to, to be, to be aware that you can change your emotions. If you are not able to do that is because you're not doing one of the three things here that I have shared, which is you change your body, you change what you focus on and you change what you tell yourself is because one of them is not strong enough or you don't believe enough. So keep, keep doing this three years. And you will see you do that over and over again. And you will be able to go from negative emotions, positive emotions. And that's really useful when you want to be more confident.
11. Congratulations: So thank you so much for watching this on a 20. I hope that you enjoyed it. My suggestion for you would be to take one or two advice that you have learned in his ongoing training and advice and apply them right away. Maybe it's the Superman posture. Maybe it's seeing the glass. Maybe seeing your life with the glass half full instead of half empty. Maybe it's about being more positive or whatever it is. Start applying that. And the more you do it, the more you apply, the better you'll become and the more confident you will become.
Alain Wolf, Social Skills Consultant
