Impactful Communication: How to Be a Better Communicator

1. Introduction: Imagine being able to effortlessly communicate with such a relaxed confidence that you instantly own the room the moment you enter, imagine knowing how to navigate through any difficult communication situation. Imagine learning how to control your social anxiety and using it to your advantage. Imagine leaving such an impactful impression that others will be more open to you and what you have to say, welcome to impactful communication. I'm award winning voice coach Gabriel bravado. I've been teaching game changing dynamic communication skills for over 15 years. Hi, I'm Todd, CEOs, lawyers, influencers, presidents, and people just like you had to master the art of communication. Unlike other courses that waste your precious time regurgitating things you already heard a thousand times. I've made it my mission to concentrate the content of this course to effective tips and techniques that work and have been proven to show game changing results. You will learn how to communicate in any business or personal situation. Join me on this journey as I teach you proven game-changing tips and techniques that will make you the best and most impactful communicator. You can possibly be. 2. Let's go back to the Beginning : In the beginning, our ultimate means of survival was our strength and our endurance to hunt and gather food for us and our families. But over the centuries those needs have changed and today are number one tool for survival is our ability to communicate whether it's an interview for a new job, to pay your bills, or to meet new people so you can build your social network or possibly meet your lifelong partner. Communication is essential for life itself. Countless experiments show that people who are more social or part of a network live longer. It's ultimately good for our health. And I don't mean social media. Yes. And this day and age, we can't do without it. I get it. I mean, good old-fashioned face-to-face interaction. We all know this. This isn't anything new. But for a lot of people, communicating face-to-face or zoom to zoom doesn't come easy. Not everyone is born a social butterfly with the charm and charisma and width they can win and any room, some people are painfully shy or others, English may not be their first language. So making the effort to get out there and meet new people can be terrifying for some. Well, I'm here to put your mind at ease and tell you that this revivals skill of communicating effectively is possible to learn. It's not a skill only reserved for the funniest socialites everyone wants to be around. It is accessible to all because it's a fundamental need we all have within us that we just simply have to know how to tap into. Trust me if it's necessary for our survival. You better believe that your inner instinct will make sure you have the access to that ability. Now, let's tap into that ability to gather and become better effective communicator. We always want it to be. 3. The Winning Way to Look at Communication: I want you to think of communication like a dance between you and one or several individuals. A constant giving and receiving of words and information to get you to your ultimate desired goal. Now, before we step onto the dance floor, we need to clearly define what that goal is. Make more friends pitching a new product or service, meeting someone special, we need to establish a clearly defined destination and end game when you look at it from that perspective, it doesn't seem so daunting. We're all humans with their own individual needs. This is just the dance we need to play to get what we want out of any communication situation. Now, once we clearly define what we want out of a particular communication situation, we need to be able to step out into the dance floor and start moving. 4. The Biggest Obstacle to Effective Communication: Let me ask you, when I mentioned stepping out into the dance floor, did you start feeling those butterflies in your stomach? I hear you. Let's address the elephant in the room. Anxiety. Look as an actor, I still struggle with this issue before I go out onto the stage. That fear of failing, fluttering my words for getting my lines falling flattened my face. It's still alive and well. It never really goes away. We just have to change your perspective on anxiety and see it as a friend, not an enemy. All anxiety is, is our inner instinct. Remember that term to try to protect you. But this time it's not against dinosaurs or saber tooth tigers, but the fear of failing or looking stupid too. Now, when you look at it from that perspective, instinct, anxiety is not the big intimidating monster we imagine it to be. I wanted to share with you some practical solutions we can do to keep anxiety from flaring up. These are the same practices that I and many of my other actors use to help deal with social anxiety. And to give you the confidence you need to be an effective communicator. 5. The Spot Light is Not Always on You: Yes, we've all read the books and seeing the videos on how to think more positively, meditate every day and exercising to reduce stress and anxiety. Those are all great. But let's dive even further into the true cause of our anxiety in social situations. Going back to what I mentioned earlier, that eminent fear of failure or underperforming are being judged and looked at by our peers. Which you have to start to realize is that the other dancers on this communication dance floor, after their own objectives, they are mostly looking out for their own best interests. Playing the game just like you, to get to their end game. Bosses want to impress their bosses, or there's your climbing the corporate ladder or social ladder, somewhere out to meet that special someone. They're too busy to be out there waiting for that moment to bask in the glory of your failure. He, he, he, he mind you there are people out there like that, but we're going to address them a little later in the course. Once you start to realize that the spotlight is not always on you, that you are one of many dancers on the dance floor trying to get to their own individual destination. Suddenly the fear of anxiety starts to cool off, giving you the freedom to relax and think more clearly, making you a better communicator. 6. What is the Secret Ingredient to Great Communication?: I want to share with you a little exercise I and other actors do to help reduce anxiety and help better communicate and prepare for a particular role more effectively. Remember, you are also an actor in this stage of life. I want you to go out in public, to a public place, a park, restaurant, grocery store, and start people watching conversations. I don't want people to think you're spying on them. But for the purposes of this exercise, see if you can identify other people's objectives. Why are they? They're communicating in the first place. What do they want out of this communication interaction? Are they trying to romantically impress someone? Are they trying to get directions or just blissfully enjoying the company of someone they truly care about. Analyze the people around you, get to know the human condition. You will notice that people are simply trying to get from point a to point B. No one is out to get you. They're all like you and me trying to impress and be accepted. Try not to fail and fall flat in their face, you will start to notice a level of compassion towards your fellow man. And this state of compassion and humility is a secret ingredient to making people love to be around you and talk to you. Remember this as we continue this course. 7. You are Worthy!: Going back to what we were talking about earlier, that fear of failure or not being able to deliver is a very common fear. We all have. Using me as an example, as a stage actor, even with all my years of experience getting on stage in front of thousands of people and if not millions, if I'm doing film and television, I want to make sure I can deliver something my audience wants. Same thing goes with any communication situation, but it's that fear of not feeling worthy enough to hold that stage that plagues even the most experienced actors. We often feel we're not good enough or we have nothing to offer or contribute to the conversation. But that way of thinking assumes that we're bland, boring life forms that have no purpose on this planet, but the eat and sleep that cannot be more further than the truth. How can you possibly be boring with all your unique life experiences and personal challenges you yourself have overcome over the span of your lifetime so far, we all have a very unique set of life experiences that can grab the attention of anyone. There is nothing you went through in your life that someone out there cannot relate to. You are a human being going through human experiences that if told with truth and compassion. Remember that word from our last video, you will have a story to tell that people are going to want to hear. So get out of your own way and tell it. 8. Ask a Friend: Now we use actors need to find what's unique about us, how we can be typecast into particular role. Once we know what that typecast is, we nail it down and be the best of that type in order to get cast. Same thing goes with communications. Going back to what I said earlier, what unique aspects about ourselves do we have to offer in a conversation? What's unique about our personality? We funny, corky, do we do something unique or different that others don't? Do? We offer a fresh perspective on something that could be very refreshing in a conversation? There are many elements to you and your personality that we're probably not aware of. So here's a little activity that I want you to do that's going to help you discover an isolate. The wonderful aspects about you and your personality that makes you different than everybody else. And then you can really emphasize in a conversation to stand out. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to approach three of your closest friends, not family members because there's a lot of bias with family. Family. There are around you because they have to be around you. Thanksgiving, Christmas holidays. They're there because they're part of the family, whereas friends are with you because you offer something to a friendship, you support each other, help each other as friends, urine this journey together, there's a bond. So here's what I want you to do specifically. I'm going to put it on a template for you, so you have it as a resource to save you some time from typing it out. Five specific questions I want you to ask your friends. It's always best to e-mail it to them, have them do it on their own terms and their own time. So you're not around over their shoulder going. So what was that? What do you think of this? Now? No need to influence their answer. Give them time to really process it and they'll take the time because it's actually kind of fun. So here are the five questions. What is the one thing you could always count on me as a friend? In other words, when your friend is feeling a certain way, they could always count on you for blank, cheering them up, making them laugh, making them see a clear perspective on life grounding you in reality, there are many aspects of it and you're gonna be surprised of what the answers are. Sometimes it's not what you expected at all. You're going to discover that there are aspects of yourself that you didn't even know you had. So that's the first question. Second question, what is the one thing that I do that always makes you smile or laugh. You're obviously friends for a reason. You give something, you offer something to each other, whether it's humor or seeing things in the same way. And I guarantee you there's probably something funny about you that you probably again, don't even know about. Have them tell you what that is. And it can be as simple as a little cork, you do a little look, a little gesture, or maybe your opinion on things, maybe you're very witty. Third question, What is something you really admire me for? Again, if your friends is because you are feeding each other, you are making each other better and ask them what that unique aspect of your friendship is. You are an inspiration to your friend. That's why your friends, I'm sure there's something about you that they look up to or wish they had or else you wouldn't be friends. So many times. Always dread on the people who are ahead of us, who do better than us. Seldom do we look back and see who are the people that I admire me and how far I've come? Well, that's probably your friend, find out what it is that they admire about you and you're gonna be pleasantly surprised. The fourth question, if you were to describe me to someone, what would you say are three unique qualities about myself? Again, these are the qualities that separates you from everybody else. We all went through our own life experiences in this world. And as a result, we have these unique qualities that people will connect with in a conversation. What are those qualities? Have your friends tell you that? And finally, number five, if I were to disappear tomorrow, what would you miss most about me? Now, of course, Let's re-emphasize that this is simply an exercise to better yourself and conversations. There's nothing serious, nothing dramatic happening. Put their mind at ease, but asking them this question will give you the insight of what impact you have with someone, what impact you leave with your friends? What aspect about yourself would miss if you were not around all of these qualities, wonderful corks and personality traits and make you interesting. And it should give you the confidence to know that you have something to contribute in a conversation. You are important. You have something to say, you have something to offer, gather up these unique qualities and when you go into a conversation no, that you really have something to bring to the conversation dance floor. 9. Look up and Connect! : Let's face it, social media has not made dealing with anxiety and easier. I get it to time we live in now. But how are we able to practice face-to-face interaction if your faces are always buried in your phones, communication now is so instant emoji than to the point, if you don't like someone, you just simply swipe up or down or left or right. It's easy to hide behind a screen and express ourselves. But it's that ability to really make an impactful impression in the flesh that is being negatively affected by this social media life we live in now. And for people who are already introverts and shy by nature, or if English is not their first language, social media is not making it any easier to start our journey to become an effective communicator, we need to learn to put the phone down once in awhile and ready for this lookup, you're going to notice an awkwardness of feeling of not being able to fill in the blanks is what I like to call it. What I mean by that is, what do I do during my downtime, the moments we're not doing anything waiting for somebody at a restaurant, sitting in public transportation. We're just sitting at a park and looking at pigeons. Remember those, if we're not on our phones, what are we doing? It's going to feel very awkward at first, but I need you to get comfortable in that state. Lookup, make eye contact, it's okay. This will reconnect you to the compassion of humanity. Remember that word from earlier, the secret ingredient to connecting with others and being a wonderful communicator. 10. Never fear NOT knowing what to say again!: The one complaint I get a lot from my communication students is the fear of not knowing what to say, not having a great comeback line or saying something stupid and a conversation. We compare ourselves to the sitcoms we see on TV shows wherever we wanted to saying something witty or funny and charming makes you the life of the party. But those are TV shows. They have the best writers in Hollywood with all the resources in the world to really think about what the next line is. We don't have that luxury when engaging in a conversation. We have to be quick on our feet and be able to come back with something right off the top of our head. Yet another thing to fire up our anxiety and butterflies in our stomach before stepping out and into the communication dance floor. Let me share with you a trick that we actors do to master the art of improvisation that were never caught in a situation where we never know what to say. 11. "Improv" Your Communication: So here's some great improvisation exercises that will really help you think on your feet and always have something to say. And never be left with looking like a deer in headlights with nothing to say or not knowing what to say or not knowing how to come back with something big fear. No need to worry about it. If you practice these exercises, have a friend or a colleague or whomever, whether it's Zoom or live, live is better if possible, because you feed off each other's energy. But if Zoom is your only option than fantastic, No worries. So what you're gonna do is you're gonna feed each other a word. So for example, if I'm talking to you, I'll say dog, you come back with the first thing that comes into your head. Can I come back with something else? Milk, cow, farm, hey, messy, clean up, made Clorox. So in other words, you're coming back with something associated to the word. The number one thing to do here is to shut off that judgment in your head. That's going to constantly say, Oh, you're saying that wrong. Well, you shouldn't have said that. Oh, that's so stupid. Why don't you keep your mouth shut. That's that mindset that we have to turn off. You have to rely on your first instinct and know that what you have to say is right. There is no wrong answer. Even if you say Mars antelope, doesn't matter. Okay. That was a bit off, wasn't associated, but it doesn't matter. The key is is turn off the judgment and be quick on your feet. You want to get to the point where you're literally bum, bum, bum, bum, one after the other with no thought or pause or ha-ha, and try not to say things with a question like dog, cat, bird, bird seed. That shows that you're not confident. You need to say with the downtown bird, cat, lion, meat, butcher knife with confidence, without doubt. And know that what you have to say is right. So once you warm up with that, then that judgment in your head is turned off. Put aside, you're confident you're warmed up, you move on to the next exercise. It's called a monologue exercise. So again, I'm going to feed you a word, any word, toothbrush. And your job is to come up with a story, a mini monologue about this toothbrush. We all have dealt with toothbrushes before. We deal with it every night. A funny corky story, if it's not a story doesn't have to be funny or quirky. Just tell me something about the Toothbrush. Toothbrush. Oh, I recently changed to a soft brush because I went to the dentist and they told me that my gums are a bit receding, so I had to change my toothbrush, so I'm doing it now and it feels great. Boom, done beginning, middle, end. There's your story of Toothbrush. No need to judge it. No need to. Oh, I can't think of anything. And if you can think of it, make it up. The key is, the whole reason we're doing this is to turn off that little voice inside of you that's constantly bombarding you in saying, that's awful. What a stupid suggestion. You should not have said that now you're going to look stupid. We have to turn that off. That's what this whole point is. You're in the now you're living the now things are coming through in your head and you're saying it fast enough so that part of you has no time to interfere, right? So you go back and forth, one word mini monologue and then they feed it back to you, one word mini monologue. So once you start doing as you start associating words with stories, words with stories. And you're going to be good at that when you practice this enough. Now, when you put onto the communication dance floor and you're talking to somebody, you're talking to a colleague about your next business trip. And your, and your colleague says, we had a great time up there, a mammoth when skiing and I just get a lot of snow in my shoes. I hate when that happens. So right there in that conversation you had mammoth snow. Snow on your shoes, getting wet. Hate getting wet. Instead of one word, you have five different things he threw at you. So you'll never be left with were wet shoes? Oh, yeah, you're right. I hate that too, especially when it's raining and he had really bad shoes and it always gets wet. Hate that feeling mammoth. I've always wanted to go to Mammoth. I hear that they have a wonderful view of mountains and everything. Snow. Oh, back when I was in Canada, we used to build snowman, so on and so forth. So there's always information that's given to you. You just have to be listening to be able to receive it, grab one thing and move on. You'll never not know what to say as long as you're listening and that's what these improvisation games do. They put you in the moment listening. What should be in your head is not that little voice, but what is going on with your partner? What are they giving you? Or if you're doing a presentation and you're out there and people ask a question and you're talking about the numbers this year. Well, we had great numbers this year. Could do a little better next year, especially in the international division. Yeah, Sammy, do you have a question regarding international? We find that product B isn't really capturing the attention of the international because of the branding aspects of it. It doesn't really match them culturally. We're going to have to modify that logo to make it match more culture. Logo modification, lot of information given to international. Hey, that's a great idea. Never even thought of that. I've recently seen some magazines from that region. I noticed that they use so and so and so and so and so you're listening, you're taking in the information, you're grabbing some bit from that information and moving on. As long as you're listening, you will always have something to come back with, never leaving you. That's only happening if you're thinking about what to have for lunch during a conversation or when is this over? Because I have to catch my Netflix show at eight o'clock. If you're an OT presence, listening, receiving, dancing, remember that as long as you are listening and engaged, you will always have something to say. So practice these every day and you're gonna be a pro really soon. It's a fun party trick to if you're at a party and you're hanging out with friends and stuff, gather up 510 people and try and put yourself in a circle and just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. It's a lot of fun. And you'll learn to how to be a great listener, receiver and always have something to say. 12. True Confidence that Resonates: Now let's get onto the dance floor and make that great first impression. That word, great first impression. How many times have we heard that, right? It seems so fake and mechanical. Great first impression. But true first impressions come from a deeper level. A true level of confidence that resonates deep inside you. People are not dumb. We all know a phoneme when we see one. It could be an audience of three or a million. They know it's genuine or fake. Someone who is trying very hard to be like versus someone who truly emulates an inner core of competence that reaches others from a subconscious level. You met those people before or know celebrities like that. They might not be that talented, but boy, oh boy, they really have a presence about them. The kind of people that when they walk into a room, we all notice they're not trying very hard at all. We actors do this all the time when we walk into an audition room. That inner core of confidence is essential to deal with all the rejection we face on a daily basis. The challenge is no matter what state of mind we are in, whether it's your 25th rejection or your third interview. We have to keep that inner core of competence genuine, or people will see right through it. 13. Bring Back the Glory Days!: So here's an exercise I want to share with you that we actors do to really bring out the true inner core competence I was telling you about, not the fake stuff, not the, hey, how are you? Hey, you're looking good. God, I'm really insecure right now, but I G I really hope I'm impressing them. No, no, no. I'm talking the inner stillness that emulates deep within you. So sit down, nice and comfortable. Chair, lay down whatever you prefer as long as you're comfortable. Now I want you to record this to whether it's with your phone or camera. Record this exercise. So you could refer back to this video and I'll explain later why. So close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Three, then, breathe out. Just focus on your breath. Nothing else. Doesn't matter how quick your inhaling or exhaling, it doesn't matter. Whatever comes natural, follow your natural rhythm of breath. Good. In this state, I want you to go back to a moment in your life where you were rocking. Whether it's a presentation, you did, whether it's a job interview, you nailed something that was your moment that day, that our that moment where you are shining gold back to that place. Relive it. Relive the sensations you had. Where were you, who are you with? Bring all of those memory centuries back into play. How do you feel? Relive those feelings? If you want to smile, smile. But you're smiling because of that moment, because of that glorious triumph you had. Think about it, revel in it. Who are you with? Who does you high-five. Who did you call when you first found out? Was it your mom, your significant other? Great. Beautiful. Now, slowly open your eyes. So what you're going to notice is that when you were in this state of mind, now I hope you record it yourself. You could press Stop. Now, when you were in this state of mind, your body didn't know the difference from whether it was really happening or where there was an imaginary thought in your head? Your heart was probably beating like it did then. Your blood pressure was probably pulsating like it did then physically. You were there again. So here's what I want you to do. Go back to the video. And as you're listening to it, I want you to see the reaction of your face. See that genuine smile. Because remember I told you to smile but not smile for the camera. It was a genuine smile derived from the events of that day. What you're going to notice is that smile was 100% genuine. It involved your whole face. There's a difference from smile, right? Just the regular smile from here. You can't even tell that I'm smiling versus a real smile. That involves your eyes, your emotion, the blood flow to your face. That's a real smile. And you're going to see that in the video. Analyze the physiological aspects of that video, the energy of yourself. Now, I'm not saying we need to walk around and recalling that exact same moment. But the more you practice this exercise, the more you'll be able to associate physicality. To that moment. You're standing a little taller. You're walking in with a little more confidence. You feel more confident because you rocked that day. Bring that all n, Let it be a part of your biology. As you walk into that room, that dance floor, to start that conversation, what are the physical aspects of it? That's gonna give you that edge? That ladies and gentlemen is true, inner confidence. It's not fake. We're not trying too hard. It's something that comes deep from within you and it's real, it's something that really did happen. Stay in that energy. And what you're going to notice is that energy itself is going to start attracting and expecting the same results as it was that day when you are rocking it. Practice this every day, 510 minutes a day. Part of your meditation routine, if you will, or just thinking about it while you're washing dishes or whatever, it's going to put you in that state of mind, embrace it. Let it be a part of you again, because ultimately, we will have many more triumphant moments. Like you have that day. 14. The Emotional Impact of Names: Now another exercise we could do to really make an impactful first impression is, now, again, this is going to sound cliche and you, you've heard this a thousand times. But let me explain a different angle to this. Learning people's names. We know it's very important, but it's not easy. It's not easy for me either. I'm actually really bad at it. I've had to learn it to really learn the art of really quickly remembering names because it really does make a difference. You know, like if there's somebody you're associated with or a barista and you've just look, look at their name tag. Hey, thanks Dylan. Really appreciate it. You could see the reaction in people when you know their name. It's very impactful immediately there's an emotional connection. One when you hear your name called out. All of a sudden we react if you're in a waiting room waiting for something important to hear your name. Yeah. There's emotion attached to someone's name. So we have access to that and are able to hear it, learn it, recall it. It's going to make your first impression, really stick. 15. Knowing Names in Seconds: Here's an exercise I do to really learn how to remember somebody's name. It's all about association. It's simple. For example, let's pretend we're at a Starbucks or something getting in coffee and the baristas, very charming. He gives you your macchiato. There you go, sir. Thanks so much. You look at his name tag. His name is Gary. Gary automatically you think the word, the letter G? G. G is for great guy, GR, great, this guy's a great guy. All of a sudden, you see him, you see his smile and you associate this wonderful smile as somebody who's great, great Smiley guy. So great, Gary, you have something now associated with this person to help you remember at least the beginning parts of the name. And sometimes that's all you need. Or if you're at a meeting and you meet three new people and new members of your team that just started. Samantha is a very Smiley person. She has a lot of energy. Smiley Samantha, smiley Samantha, automatically. I see here you find the one trade about her that sticks out. Her smile, smiley Samantha, bam, that's going to stick. You meet another person. This person's name is Sam. He never holds back anything. He speaks his mind. He's very, very confident. Say it as it is. Sam, he speaks his mind, he says it as it is. Say it as it is sad, bound, confidence. And he's going to be like this consistently. Usually when people have a particular trait, they carry it with them throughout the relationship you have with them smiley. Samantha will always be Smiley and less something tragic happens. Let's hope not. Say like it is, Sam will always have an opinion and speak up. There's your association to say it as it is Sam. And then over here we have Ned who's quiet, doesn't really say much. You in the backburner all the time looking around, not really saying much nothingness. Say Ned, nothing to say Ned. Bam, smiley, Samantha. Say like it is Sam, nothing to say Ned, little sayings you have it automatically associate the name with the personality. So now, not only do we know someone's name, we know unique character trait about them, something individually about them that makes them stand out. How to benefit you and your conversational journey or dance with each of these people. So go out there in public and try this exercise out. When you're at a restaurant, make an effort to remember the waiters name, the host name. If your wife introduces you to somebody and said, hey, what's up, bankruptcy, really make an effort. What is it a unique about them associated to the name? Make a little riddle in your head that Abbottabad, Abba, something quick, something easy to remember, like a song. Songs, they're very easy to remember. I'm sure if I ask you to recite your favorite song, you'll know every word. So if we add a little melody to it, little musicality to it, it's going to stick. You will never be in a situation where you're like, Sal, Oh, oh, we don't want that. That's the worst thing to do. Remember going back to that emotional connection people have with their names. It's genuine, it's who they are, it's how they identify themselves with. Cherish it, honor it, say it, and you will get so much mileage out of just that one trick, knowing someone's name. 16. Let's Meet Our Dance Partners: Now continuing on with our dancing analogy, we will have a more effective and successful communication experience and outcome. If we know the different types of dancers or communicators, we will be encountering on the dance floor. Remember, they have their own agenda, their own destination. Also remember to be a great communicator. We have to be familiar with these dance moves and how we can move with them to get our ultimate goal, as I mentioned earlier, dancing or communicating is the art of giving and receiving information back and forth. But there are some dance partners out there that love to give you what I'm talking about. These are the type of communicators that absolutely loved the sound of their voice. They love chiming in with their views and opinions on any subject. They come across as overbearing, pushy, hardly taking a breath for you to be able to chime in. Well, you all know communicators like this, don't worry. It's usually someone in some kind of authority or at least they think that they are in a position of authority. Sometimes we were put in a position of constantly being around individuals like this because of a work situation. For example, we don't have the luxury of simply walking away. It's easy to lose our patients with people like that and let them get the better of us. But that will only weaken our position. Believe it or not, it's possible to dance with these types of conversationalists. We just have to know what moves to use. 17. How to Dance with an Ego Based Conversationalist: Let's look at an example of an ego driven communicator we might come across on the dance floor. Let's call this person John classic giver, loves to give, give, give, talk, talk, talk, and hardly ever listen. Now before we start judging him, why don't we put ourselves in his shoes? Why is he like this? Do you think he is a competent individual? I mean, truly confident that core competence we were talking about earlier that can be felt simply by walking into a room. I don't think he's that frankly, I think John is quite the opposite. Because of that lack of competence. He feels the need to constantly prove himself. Show you and others in the room that he is worthy of being there, talking to you in the first place. Now it doesn't this change our perspective on John? We are changing our view from judgment and annoyance to pity and compassion. Remember that word, compassion from our earlier lecture. We are already starting to win this conversation without even saying a word, just by the way, we are seeing John. Now, how do we communicate or dance with John? What moves are we going to use? Well, let's make this simple. What does John need? Remember, we have to start thinking of how we can serve this conversation before we can expect to gain anything out of it, taking us to our desired outcome, we have to learn how to move with John, not against him. Well, since we determined that John is coming from a place of low confidence and a need of acknowledgment and assurance. Why don't we give them just that make him feel that confidence that he so desperately lacks. If we make them feel worthy of being in the conversation with you or in a group right off the bat, he's naturally going to start bringing down his defensive I know everything, attitude and be more drawn to you and eventually your needs. It's counter-intuitive, isn't it? When it just be easier to just walk away from such a toxic conversation. But we might not have that choice. In some cases, we might be working with a John type or have a family member like a John, or in some cases, even married to a John type. Remember this course is about learning how to navigate difficult conversations, how to move with not against them, to get to our ultimate destination, let's create a conversational scenario with John as an example. But before we do however, let's establish our goal. What do we want out of this conversation with his John type? Let's say for example, John and his team really nailed that last presentation. The whole board is talking about how great he and his team was and you know, John is going to know about it. You, on the other hand, are still struggling with assembling your own dream team. So your goal is to find out more about how John got his dream team together. What's his secret formula that brought him the success of you desire? Remember, we have to check our ego at the door if we want to get what we need out of this conversation, Let's see how we can move with John on this conversational dance floor. 18. How to Approach an Ego Based Conversationalist: Now here's an example of how not to approach a John type in a conversation. Hey John, hey the ricardo. Pretty impressive stuff in there, huh? Yeah, we nailed it. Now says great. Congratulations, amazing how well things come together when you're really prepared. Yeah, that was great. We might get that promotion and the big project that everybody is benign. Congratulations. I feel like I really had control that room, you know? I think he did. Yeah. I can't tell you how many hours I spent trying to get this stuff together. But at the end it's all worth it. Yeah. I know. I mean, I wasn't feeling that promotion is pretty much coming in my direction. Right? I had the whole board glue to every word I had to say. Now the gray I got to say it's way better than I expected. I'm just curious to know if anyway, we're celebrating. My office cracked open the champagne, make sure you don't tell anybody I don't want to get in trouble. I'm glad you were able to experience that. Alright, calculator. Good job again. You see how quickly John took over the conversation by bragging and constantly talking about himself, overpowering you, right from the get-go, you didn't even have a chance to breathe. That might not be the best way to approach a John tight. Let's look at an example of the right way to approach a John type. A, they're Ricardo. Pretty page on Mac. Congratulations. He really nailed it in there. It's amazing. Oh thanks. I just need a way to control that room was just outstanding. I'm glad you noticed. You see how much the CEO was paying attention to every detail you're really able to capture their attention was fantastic. Thank you. What I loved about your tactic, particularly as you were like a conductor, bringing each member of your team in exactly the right moment. He saw that. I thought I was just dreaming, but I find amazing is how the incredible your team was like How did you come across getting this team assembled? Well, it's just, it's a lot of people don't realize when they're putting together a team as they got to work on the personality dynamics C, So think of it like a jigsaw puzzle. You want to make sure certain personalities match certain other personalities so there's no conflict and the synergy within that group takes off, resulting in what you just saw in the boardroom. Well, that's fantastic. I'm glad I could help and I'm missing a certain pieces of my puzzle to get my dream team together. Hey man, I love to take you off for lunch one day. You just pick your brain on a few things we don't mind. Yeah, hey, you know, I love that. Thanks man. Hey, listen. Congratulations again. That was fantastic, really inspiring. Did you see how we went in there with guns blazing right off the bat. We started hitting John with all of these wonderful compliments that what did it do? It brought up John's ego and made him feel like, well, I didn't have to be so defensive because this conversationalists gave me everything I wanted. So I feel confident in this conversation. I feel worthy being here with you. So right off the bat, you have an open door into him and his true self and more open to helping you get to your goal. 19. How to Dance with a Shy Conversationalist: Now let's take a look at someone who is opposite of John. Let's call her Sally. Sally is one of those conversationalists who really don't give or receive in a conversation. She doesn't contribute much to a conversation because she's shy, or maybe English is not her first language. It could be many reasons that we just don't know. Her anxiety level is so high that if in a way shuts her down, making it difficult for us to move with her on a conversational dance floor. Imagine trying to dance with someone on the dance floor that doesn't really move at all. Xi2, like John feels that she is an important enough to be in the room. She has nothing to contribute to the conversation, so she simply shuts down. She has her own way of dealing with her low self-esteem. Well, going back to our John example, why don't we serve her needs? Do you notice a pattern going on here giving her the support she needs to open and feel safe with you on the conversational dance floor. This will again make her feel more drawn to you and eventually your knees. Now, it sounds like we're manipulating people, aren't we? Hey, I'm going to manipulate your needs, but that's not the case at all if we're coming from a genuine compassionate place. Again, remember that term, compassion from earlier. We will both get what we want out of the conversation by supporting each other, making this conversation and enriching experience rather than a scary and uncomfortable one. So let's address her needs. How can we make her feel confident enough to open up to us, to give us something we can work with on the conversational dance floor. Before we look at an example, Let's clearly define our objective. What do we want out of this conversation? Let's say, for example, this is a social gathering and we would like to get to know Sally a little better on a more personal level. Remember these approaches I'm showing you here can be implemented in any social situation. I'm just changing up the environment to show you a variety of different possibilities. Let's say we're at a mutual friends party and we notice her. We also noticed her shyness. Let's look at how not to approach a salary type. Hey Sally, right? Oh, all right. As you go, make it rockin party, right? Oh my God. He throws like the best parties. You should have seen literally just before I walked in here, they were in the kitchen, Downing and Jack Daniel. It's insane. Yeah, it's pretty it's crazy. I don't know how he gets to work with those hangovers. I mean, how's that even possible? Level this time you want to dance? No, I don't dance. Come on. But listen. You gotta loosen up of I see you in the office all the time. You tend to just relax, grab a drink from a rabbit trail. But I already what do you want? Don't ask to reject Daniel because he drank it already. With that approach, all we're doing is reinforcing her already fragile Mindsets. She's already high anxiety, dealing with her anxiety and her own way by shutting down, that approach will only shut her down even more, making it hard to move with her on the dance floor. Now let's look at the right approach to a sally tight crazy party, right? Yeah. I've never seen so many people in one room. I know what you mean. So how do you know Ben? Oh, well, we work together. Okay. Great. So how do you know when we go back here is yeah, we're friends in high school. It's a great guy. But while for my taste, but Ben's bed, right? I hear that. Your name is Sally, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Nice to meet you. Yeah. I've seen you around work. Yeah. You too. Nice meeting you well, listen, enjoy the rest of the party. I'll see you around you to see how we instantly made her feel comfortable around us. We sort of in a way came down to her level, gave power to her, made her feel like the competent one, giving her a little more confidence to open up to you. It's all about empowering your dance partner. Again, this is the same basis on how we dealt with the John type earlier. Addressing their needs, their insecurities, propping them up, making them feel confident and worthy of being there with you. Therefore, they're going to feel more relaxed and more open to your needs, making her feel like she's in control. He's getting you to your destination. 20. How to Dance with a Bored Conversationalist: Let's now move on to another type of conversation list example. Let's meet Debbie. Debbie is a type of person that comes across as board distant. I mean, she's there but you can tell her mind is somewhere else. Debbie is easily distracted, not in the game, being around or is not a very pleasant feeling kinda makes you question any choices you made. And if you happen to be working with a Debbie type, you might feel like you are pulling most of the weight because of her lack of involvement or motivation. This communicator is not giving you much, not because she's shy like Sally. It's because she would rather be on the beach or at the mall or wherever. I know this one's a tough one. For our learning purposes, let's get out onto the communication dance floor and learn how to dance with her. We have to learn to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Again, let's go back to our formula. How can we serve Debbie? How can we give her the support she needs to move with us and eventually getting to our objectives. But before we do that, like before, let's clearly define our objective. Let's say she's your teammates on a work project you need to get done by the end of the month. You feel like she's not pulling their weight and you need her to start participating with a workload so a, you can get the project done in time. And B, you don't have to overwork yourself. You're not getting paid extra for all of us double work. Again. Let's identify her needs. Let's analyze this further. If we're bored, It's because we don't find where we are currently interesting enough to hold our attention. It's like a three-year-old child. If they're bored, they're going to let you know about it. And it's almost impossible to get anything out of them in that state of mind. Debbie might feel like she has no purpose in this situation. She feels it wouldn't make any difference if she was there or not. Let's make her feel like she is a very important piece of the puzzle. Let's make her feel like we need her, her knowledge, her insight on this project we're working on to move things forward so you and Debbie can both get this done. So you can both be at the beach or mall or whatever. Again, let's tune into her mindset, her frequency, she will feel you get her. And when we feel heard, we feel like we matter. Let's look at an example of how to and how not to approach a Debbie type on the conversational dance floor. Hey, Debbie. How those numbers coming along? I'll get to it when I get to it. Wait. So you haven't done it yet. Look, you're not my boss. I don't need you harping on me like this. Okay. I mean, you know the deadline, right. You know, we have deadlines, you know, we need to I just put in 12 hours last night trying to get all the stats correct. And you didn't get that. I know the deadline is I know what I gotta do and I'll get it done in due time. How did we expect it to get to the next level of purchased? Oh my God, I can't believe I'm going through this. So you see, I'm sure whatever. Now obviously attacking her like that is not going to get you anywhere. It's going to make her do what, bring up her defenses and block you out even further. You're basically confirming the fact that, god, I shouldn't be here. It's a waste of my time. Look, even he thinks that you're not gonna get anywhere. You won't be able to move with her at all with that approach. Let's look at a different approach. Hey, Debbie, gone. I put it like in 12 hours, less iconic and all the stats done. These numbers can get overwhelming sometime. I don't know how you do it. Well, it's just easy. You just have to know how to move the numbers around. Well, how would you organize it then? Well, you got to sub-categorize, really, because if you get all the numbers at once, it can be overwhelming if the node is sub-categorize to break down the big task into smaller tasks so you don't get so overwhelmed. That makes sense. Yeah. Something I came up with on my own. Hey, you know, like, I know you got a lot going on, but do you think maybe you could show me? Okay. I got to say, I'm glad you're my team. All right. Talk to you later. Do you notice a pattern here among all these conversationalists, whether they're shy, **** your board, it's addressing their needs, giving them the spotlight so they feel they matter. It all comes down fundamentally to lack of motivation or competence going in there. Knowing that at any conversational situation will give you the edge by making her feel like she matters. And in return, she will honor you and your desired goal on the conversation dance floor. 21. How to Dance with a Negative Conversationalist: Now let's meet our good friend Ned, and that is what we call a Debbie Downer, not our Debbie is just the same. He constantly has something negative to say, a storm cloud of negative energies always around him, always as something negative to say about someone or some situation. I'm sure you're thinking of someone like that right now, aren't you? Sometimes you could be stuck with a net type eight hours a day in a working environment, for example. And we have no choice but to interact with him on a regular basis. This is a tough one, not very pleasant. I mean, you could quit your job, but not a lot of people have that option. How can we expect to dance with a Ned type if he is constantly bombarding us with a barrage of negativity where there's a will, there's a way. Once again, we have to ask the question, how can we serve our dance partners needs? Let's look at his needs first and see how we can serve them. Yes. Even with an ED type, just like we did with all the others. Let's look at an example. First. Let's make this a group situation. Zoom meeting, for example, of three other members. You're leading this meeting and you are discussing how you and your team can go about beating the next quota. You and your team are coming up with great ideas, but Ned is quick to shoot everyone down with negative comebacks. Now, you as a leader of this group, have to set the tone of the meeting. If you're on the defensive and attack net back, you are getting down to his level, not setting a very good example among your colleagues. Instead, try to see his attacks as him looking out for the best interests of the company. He might not even think of it that way. But if you make them feel empowered, again, remember that word, empowered. He will most likely put his offenses down and go along with it. He's used to having people constantly attacking them. But you, being the leader of this team, you are going the opposite direction. We will match his negative commentary attacks with reason and logic and optimism, trying to see things from his perspective, not an easy task. In fact, I would say this is probably our hardest dance partner so far, but nothing we can't handle. Let's take a look at how to add now to handle a Ned type. Hello team. Thank you all for being here. Great to be here. I'm sure we all know why we are here. We haven't met the quota last quarter. No surprise there. Okay. Alright, go ahead and we're brainstorming right now. And I brought you guys on board to really get a better idea of how we can improve those quotas. We are open to suggestions. So if anybody wants to chime in Daryn, yeah. What do you got? Well, I've suggested this on several occasions. I just don't think we have enough training time with our platform. We seriously going to go down the same path again. Then can we just let him finish, please profile. We have a lot of new people coming on board who really know how to work the system. Like I can't believe I'm very much. Uh-huh. So if we invest more hours on training them how to use our current system, we are using software from the ancient times, how we possibly going to compete? You're going to have your time to speak. Go ahead. I think it's going to really increase productivity and get us to the bottom line. Oh my God, really, I'm sorry. No. Do you have something to say? You can expect us to extract water from rocks. Okay. If we don't have the right tools, we can't compete. Where are you getting that information? Now we're going to keep on having meetings like this. I think you're a little hot-headed right now. You need to just take a little minute to yourself, okay, whatever. And when you're ready, you can join us. Sound good. Again. We attack them. He's just gonna be more of what he is, whether it's shy, Cauchy board. And in this case negative. He's just gonna be more of it because what you're doing is you're confirming his negative thoughts. Yeah. I was right. Yeah. Here's that way I knew it. I knew this is a waste of time. See what I'm saying. By feeding into that, you're making the situation worse. So let's take a look at a better way to approach a net type. High their team. Thanks for joining us that great to be here. As well as you know, the quotas weren't met last quarter. And the reason why we're getting together in this zoom meeting is to brainstorm and come up with some great ideas. But luck with that. We are open to suggestions. So if anybody wants to chime in there. Yeah. Well, I've suggested this on several occasions. I just don't think we have enough training time with their platforms. You can expect this to compete with the software we have. The ancient times. Really. Can you expand on that? And then, right, well, I've been suggesting on many occasions to upgrade our system and I know it's going to cost money. I know we've got to take it from the budget, but if our goal is to stay ahead of the competition, we need to up our game. I've pitched this several times, but don't know, nobody's listening to me. Do you have any suggestions on how we could go about that? I told Cynthia on May 25th and 26th, pitch it to her on many times. Slow down. I'm taking notes here. Right. But I do agree that we could use a better system. I mean, I don't know what the budgetary constraints are, but if we do a more thorough, feasible study on that suggestion and convinced the higher ups that we might need to expand that budget, then it could work. I'm glad I put together this conference call. I knew we'd come up with some great ideas. Once again, empowerment, it's all about empowerment. This is going back to what we were talking about earlier. The spotlight is not always on you. Everybody has their own objectives, insecurities and many colors of insecurities. As we've seen in these examples. What makes us incredible communicators is knowing the types of conversationalists we will be dealing with and how to move with them. Because ultimately they have to move with you. You can't move unless they move. So by approaching it this way, with empowerment, we will again get what we want out of any given conversation. 22. Be a Cheerleader!: Oftentimes in a communication situation, we either by mistake or on purpose, find ourselves in a group scenario where we're talking to one or more people in a conversation, whether it's professional or social. And we're in this group listening to the person who's currently talking. But just because the eyes are not on us, doesn't mean that we are not the focus in this communication dance floor. Remember, listening actively is a key ingredient to being an effective communicator. We learned that a lot in our improvisation exercises we did earlier. There's more than you can do them just sitting around and being a passive listener, you could be what I call a cheerleader. Now what I mean by cheerleader, when someone is engaged in a conversation or as part of a group and is the one talking. What they're saying is being supported by a listener, whether it's one-on-one or with a new group, it supports the current speakers and what they're saying, you're not just listening passively. Now what I mean by being a cheerleader is encouraging the current speaker positively with positive small remarks, things you could say they are encouraging to help elevate them, be more confidence and tell the story more effectively. You're helping them. You're being, remember that word, compassionate and believe it or not, people in that group will notice. They'll notice that you're a wonderful cheerleader within the group encouraging the current Speaker. Did you know that in Hollywood they pay people to go and studio audiences to laugh and engage in whatever is being filmed in a sitcom. That's right. People get paid to be cheerleaders. Now here's an example of a group conversation with somebody cheering them on. Now, remember, you don't want to be overbearing. You don't want to overtake the conversation. But there's an art, there is a way of doing it by really listening, knowing when to come in, which we're going to cover later, making them feel empowered and in return, making you a great participant in this communication dance, whether it's with one individual or more than one. So it's down to the wire. Okay. So we only have like literally just a couple of hours before we have to hand in this project and we have no more fuel left where we've literally been up for three days straight. Are you serious? So Jordan and comes in with these 12 dozen doughnuts and double espresso is for everybody. I mean, he was a lifesaver. Yeah, That's Georgian for you. You really knows his donuts. We packed our car and we are at the board meeting within a half an hour on fumes, but we did it. Hey man, it's a testament to your hard work, right? Hey, this guy gets it. So without really saying much, you're exuding so much positivity in this conversation, whether it's with one person or more than one, You're a positive player in this game of communication is dance. This goes back to the improv principles I was telling you about earlier. The game of improvisation is giving listening and then agreeing and responding back with something to heighten the scenario, to heighten the discussion. Again, it's always about empowering the person you're speaking to. Now you're gonna notice throughout this course, I'm always talking about empowering the speaker and you probably thinking, well, how is it going to help me and my communication? Let me give you a scenario and example. If there are two people, one person is very knowledgeable about cars. He knows everything from top to bottom. Another individual doesn't, but it's very passionate about cars. Now you walk into a room and speak to the individual who knows everything about cars, and you start chatting with them. And he takes over the conversation and tells you this and that, well this model isn't, well, you don't want to get this model because this model and these mechanical brakes are not as good and bubble and you're like a-ha. Uh-huh. So after about a half an hour of him chatting away, you're about burnt out. Was that a good conversation experience? This person was very knowledgeable, unqualified. But you as a person involved in the conversation, Did you enjoy it? Did it feel productive? Now let's bring in the second person I was telling you about somebody who is not as knowledgeable, but it's very passionate. And once a share that passion with you and you have a conversation with him about cars, am automotives. All of a sudden he starts sharing with you with the little that he'd nose. And you start sharing back and you both start collaborating, giving and receiving, giving and receiving. Now at the end of half-an-hour or speaking with this individual, how do you feel? You're going to enjoy that conversation and much better than somebody who overpowers and takes over conversation, regardless of how knowledgeable they are, the topic at hand, listening is so important. Who was the one that you're going to want to talk to in the future. The person that talked to your ear off, although he was very knowledgeable or the person who is very passionate about the subject and was collaborating with you. You're going to want to speak with that individual. And that's what the foundation of all the principles that I'm teaching you about being a compassionate listener, about being a very generous conversationalists. Moving with your dance partner, knowing when to give, when to receive, and then went to stay silent. 23. Master the Rhythm: Do you notice in that clip I showed you about being the cheerleader. There was an instinct and art of knowing when to come in, in a conversation in which you will hear. If you listen to a lot of American television or sitcoms, there's a rhythm to a conversation. But at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at edited. When you hear that the data, that's usually a gateway or an opening for you to now come in to add a cheerleader remark or contribute to the conversation with your own story or anecdote, heightening the conversation. Remember, you don't want to just blurred in with stuff, blurred in with something that will heighten the story, heightened the speaker. Let's look at an example from the conversation we were listening to earlier. We've literally been up for three days straight trying to get this project, trying to get this project done. Here. That trying to get this project done. When you hear the range of the conversation coming down, That's usually an opening where you can come in versus we've literally been up for three hours straight trying to get this project done and that add up. So do you see that means that there's more to come. So again, this is just an instinct. This is something you have to start practicing or learning to become a very great communicator. And knowing when to move with your dance partner using the dance analogy and communication. Let's look at another example. So Jordan and comes in with these 12 dozen doughnuts and double espresso is for everybody. And double espresso is for everybody. Bam, there's your window that edit, edit ED versus another stressful for everybody. And then he went a little bit. So again, it's about listening, knowing, developing that instinct of knowing when a conversation is about to n, When you hear somebody talking and then the pitch starts to lower. That's usually your time to come in. If you want to. You don't necessarily have to win every spot or every window that's available. But it's your opening to again contribute and heightened the conversation because look what happens when we don't follow that pattern. So it's down to the wire. Okay, so we only have like literally just a couple of hours before we have to hand in this project and we have no more fuel. We put an a 16 hour day yesterday, so we're okay. Now, having just discussed the right way to come in when you listen to this, it sounds painful to hear somebody bluntly come in when they're not supposed to come in. Well, that's good. That means you're learning. That means that you're developing that instinct of knowing when and when not to come in. There was no window in our conversation for you to come in, not to mention the person that did come in wasn't heightening the information. He wasn't supporting the speaker. He was just bluntly coming in and telling him about his story and his scenario, sort of taking control the conversation, bullying his way in which you want to open a conversation with that individual or would you be like, yeah, you know what? I know this has gone we have to be very sensitive. We have to listen and support and heightened. 24. Pay Attention to The Windows of the Soal!: Now imagine you are in a conversation with save three people. And there's one person is talking to another individual and you're here listening in. Never does this person will look at you during the conversation. Kinda makes you feel like the third wheel, doesn't it? Just sort of like, okay, we have to remember that when we're in a group scenario, a group conversation, you and you have the mantle, the spotlight is on you and your talking. You need to make sure that you are including everybody in this group, even though a lot of the focus could be on one particular conversationalists. Like for example, if you're responding to something somebody said and you're talking, you gotta be aware of the people around you. We all know that feeling. I'm sure we've all been in a conversation where we kinda felt left out. Nobody's really paying attention when you're talking to somebody, responding to somebody. Make sure as you're talking, to pitch a look over to whomever else is in the room. Whether you're doing a presentation or just chatting in a social event with three or more people that added, added, added, added edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit data and then maybe finish off on the person that you started the conversation with. There's so many benefits to doing that. Eye contact is so powerful, I'm sure you've heard of the term, the eyes are the window to the soul and it truly is. And when you're bringing somebody in just with a look, you're making them feel so empowered, even though they're not doing anything. And if they're shy and if, and if English is not their first language, you're going to make them feel like they're part of the conversation even though they're not really saying much. So take the time and bring everybody into their conversation. It's only going to empower you as a conversationalist. 25. The Power of Involvement: You've been in those situations where you're safe talking to three or more people and you're not really a part of the conversation. Maybe it's because again, you're shy or maybe English is not your first language. You tend to hold back. The more you don't participate, the more intensely awkward it's going to feel. So if you have the mantle, if you're in a group scenario and you're talking, you need to be sensitive to that. Be sensitive to the ones that are not involved. Ever few bread, two pigeons in the park. And you ever feel for that little skinny pigeon over there on the side is to, I don't know, maybe not brave enough to go in for the bread. And you kinda wanna go over there and feed that lonely pigeon is the same similarity when it comes to being in a group conversation. Bring them in your chatting about a trip you did last summer and there's somebody there that's sort of iron you timidly and not really participating. Yeah, so, yeah, we went up to the summit yesterday and we skied was fantastic. Hey, Amy, didn't you say you are a skier? Boom, that's all it takes. Just a little question, possibly. If you're smart enough and you have to have enough instinct knowing that person you'll be able to feed them something that they could latch onto and contributing and then help them be a part of the conversation. And you know what happens. If you're in a group scenario and you start doing that. You start engaging people, looking at people like we were talking about and bringing them in. All of a sudden you become the alpha communicator of the group. People look at you to know how to properly conduct a room, a conversation. They know that you will give everybody a voice. And that just makes you a much more powerful dynamic conversation list. You're conducting the room again, you are the conductor. Now it's not our job, our goal to overpower any conversation. But if you really think about it, we're not, we're not chatting about us. We're looking at people were connecting with people. We're bringing them in, getting them involved, enriching and an empowering you and the room. Making this whole conversation a fun experience. It's in our instinct, It's in our DNA to connect with other people. Countless studies have shown that rats, for example, in laboratories, when they are social, when they are involved with other rats, they live longer even if they have a terrible diets. It's in our best interests. It's healthier for us to compassionately connect, communicates, engage in power, heighten a conversation. 26. This is Just the Beginning: Congratulations. Although this is the end of this course, it is the beginning of your journey to becoming an impactful communicator. Take action on the tips and techniques I presented here. Everything I taught you is 100% learnable and with enough practice and awareness, you will be able to communicate your intentions with grace, leaving your listeners wanting more. This wonders communication dance floor is full of interesting individuals have different shapes and sizes and dancing styles. I'm trying to dance their way to their own finish line when you can master the art of moving with them, not against them. When you can compassionately connect and understand your communication dance partner, then you have truly learning the art of impactful communication.