How To Forgive Yourself and Let Go Of The Past

1. Introduction: Hey, my name is Ivan Lee Amonton's. I'm a certified and live transformational coach. And in today's class we are going to learn about forgiveness specificly, self forgiveness. We hear a lot about how crucial it is to forgive others. But what about forgiving ourselves? I think we both can agree. That's not as easy as just saying, forgive myself and it's done. The job is done. There's much more to it. I will teach you a step-by-step process with small exercise attached to each lesson so you can learn to forgive yourself. But I also have especially good for you. I created a freebie, it's called the self forgiveness blue. And there you will have every single question in every single exercise we go through each class attached to that free me though you can print it out and use it throughout the whole course. So are you ready to finally forgive yourself and let go the path so you can move forward and live the life you always wanted to live because I am. What about you? 2. Class Project & Blueprint: So before I start sharing with you what your class project will be all about, let me share with you where you can find yourself forgiveness blueprints. So under projects and resources, you can find a link that will give you access to the self forgiveness blueprint. So if that's not enough, go to the discussion section where you can find also a small common minor will also include the link for the freebie. That's still not enough. Just go to my website, I evenly on Martin's dot com, have their free resource library. And in that library also the self forgiveness blueprint is included. Let's talk about what the class project will be for you. So what I want you to do is to take screenshots are pictures of the self forgiveness blueprint. So basically I want you to document and to share with us your process. I know, Relax if you are not ready and willing to share your process with us, don't worry, you don't need to have another exercise for you to do. So let us know instead why you are here. Why are you taking this class? Why you want to learn how to forgive yourself? Moreover, also want you then to tell us what is one action step you are going to take to forgive yourself since we got everything covered. So grab a snack, your favorite drink, and the resources, and let's get started. 3. Face Your Fears & Realease Negativity: So the first step is about facing your fears and confronting what actually happened. We both know that you have to do this. You can't just pretend nothing happened in keep living. And that is, and that is going to be the easiest way. How do you forgive yourself and forgive yourself? You have to be able to talk about it. You have to be able to share what happened. Even if you don't talk about it, you're still thinking about it. I know that, you know that we both know it, that you are still thinking about it. We think that we moved on, but in real life or subconscious still thinking about it. We don't confront them with what happened and just state the facts. We will have to face the consequences. And a negativity will eat us upside alive. So there are a lot of ways how you can face your fears have to waste for you. That worked for me extremely well. The first one is to talk about it with someone. It can be one of your family, your neighbors, your friends, or a therapist or a coach. What matters is that the person that you share, your password, that is, share the things you feel guilty, shame, and vulnerable. They don't judge you. That's the most important thing. Find someone that doesn't judge you and it also stays objective. Or the second thing you can do if you have no one to talk about is to journal. Journaling will help you not only get your thoughts out, but also will be nonjudgmental process. Sometimes we are not looking for where it, we're not looking for what the other person is thinking. We just want to share with them what we feel. And that's where journaling plays such a big role in my life because I can share my feelings, my thoughts, and what is going on in my life without feeling the need to be judged, without feeling the need to actually get feedback, no matter what you choose, if it's talking with someone or journaling, I really highly encourage you to face your fears and to get it out. It will not only help you to get closure, but he also will feel like it's a weight that it's taking out of your shoulders. So if you are choosing the journalling part, I have some questions for you that will might help you out throughout this process. And don't worry, these questions are also in the self forgiveness blueprints to first one would be, maybe why am I not able to forgive myself? Another one would be, what is it actually that I want to forgive myself for? Or when did I start being hard on myself and unforgivable? And at the end, why now, why do I want to learn to forgive myself so proud of you that you took the first step on actually talking about it. Or just like confirming yourself with Hod happen even if you just thought about it. I am so proud of you that you are taking this first step and I hope you are proud of yourself, so reward yourself. Let's take a piece of cake. Why? Because the rest of this journey and the rest of the costs going to be a piece of cake. You saw what I did here. So let's go to the next look. 4. Accept The Unacceptable: Have to be honest with you and I said to you in the previous classes from now on it's going to be a piece of cake. Alight, the hard work was start. Now and in today's lesson, we are going to learn to accept the unacceptable. I know it's hard to accept what happened. Sometimes a lot of harm was cost and a lot of pain was felt, and therefore, we try to fix it. We try to do something about it, but you know what, no matter what you do, it will never change what happened in the past. And we both know that it doesn't matter how many different scenarios you've created in your brain and in your mind. It will not change what happened in the past. I call these different scenarios to what-ifs. What if I set this? What if I did this differently? What if I didn't even do anything and I just left, the scenarios will not change anything because the past has already been written down. And unless you have a time machine, which you probably don't have it if you have one. Call me. Sorry, I just got ahead of myself. So what I actually wanted to say is that you can't change your past. And just because you can't change your past and you can't undo what happened doesn't mean you're an evil person. If you accept that most people have troubles with because they think when they accept the past day except what the person they were and they tolerate a person. But let me tell you one thing. Acceptance doesn't mean tolerance. Acceptance and trust, or acceptance. And tolerance are two different things. Never forget that just because you accept the path doesn't mean you tolerate the same actions again in the present. Now, a lot of people talk so much about acceptance, but they actually don't know what acceptance means to them. And that is what today's exercise will be all about in this lesson. And this lesson, I want you to think about what does acceptance mean to you? And if you have the blueprint or front of you, you will see that already, I created my own definition of acceptance. And what it means to me to remain acceptance means that acceptance is a process and it doesn't mean I tolerate the same action in the present Nadar that define who I am. It actually sets me frill helps me surrounded and embrace the past for what it is, an opportunity for growth. It has me learn to detach myself from it and focus on the present moment. It can make a difference. So it's very important that you know what is your definition of acceptance, because that will set the tone for you to move on and to forgive yourself for free to share in your project what acceptance means to you. Maybe your definition of acceptance can inspire someone else to write their own Since you release now a little bit of resistance and negativity and you define what acceptance means you, let's take the next step, which is learning your lesson. And I'm really excited to talk about this because this is like where a lot of people get confused and where a lot of misconception happens. So see you in the next class. 5. Learn Your Lesson: Today's class, it's all about learning your lesson, every experience and live. There is a lesson to be learned. And if you don't take time to learn your lesson, or at least to understand what happened. The same thing will happen over and over again. And it's funny because life has its ways to present us with a similar obstacle. So we face the same problem over and over again until we learn the lesson. And if you don't learn the right message for you, you will constantly relive it. Again, my secret ingredient to help me out, to learn my lesson are the right lesson, the right message for me? It's to be objective and coffee. So I was just there is the and I just need an excuse to drink coffee. So let's get back to the serious doubt. So being objective will help you to learn to detach yourself from the story. And so you can see it from a different perspective. Instead of seeing it from inside of the box, you need to think outside of the box. So here are some questions you can ask yourself so you can find what your message is to you. So what would I have done differently if I could go back again, or what can I learn from this situation? How can I grow from this experience? And finally, what are the lessons I need to learn to prevent this from happening again? So now you learn to release some negative ED and tensions. You accept the unacceptable and you learned your lesson. What is next? Well, the next step you will take as action and that has water. Next class going to be about, which I am super excited because this is like the most important thing which other people skip. So let's go. 6. Move Forward & Take Actions: And in today's lesson, we are going to talk about moving forward and taking action. This is actually one of my favorite steps because it's all about taking the right action towards creating a more empowering mindset behaviors and you live. So you make sure that what happened in the past doesn't happen again, and people wait for tomorrow for the perfect moment to happen. But guess what? There is no perfect moment. And if you're waiting for the perfect moment to happen, I can give you a clue when it it is, it is now. So you have to act now if you want change in your life and if you want to learn to let go of your past and forgive yourself so you can finally live your fullest life. Then you have to act now. So now we are going to come up with some actions that are related to your conscious based message. Don't forget, we are building up and foundations, which was first to release negativity, then we accept that the unacceptable, then we learned our message, and now on top of it, we are now taking actions. So what is the action you're going to take for you to learn to forgive yourself and let go of the past. That's all up to you. It can go from a lot of different things for me now, it's to take and eat a piece of cake. Go though. I just missed out this darpa, who cares, are not going to edit this out visible through owners jokes aside. So I have a few questions for you that will help you to create some action around your conscious space message. And the questions can be like, what is a baby step I could do now, that would empower menu message, or how can I honor him as new lessons in the future? Finally, the last question would be, what would my ideal self from the future do? And please, when I told you before that is one of the most important steps. If I didn't say Dad, I'm saying it now it's one of the most important steps because you are taking actions. Because nothing will mean a damn thing or nothing will change in your life if you don't implement what you learned, if you don't put your theory into practice. So act, act, hacked. This is for me the most frustrating part to see people work so hard on themselves, come up with these amazing steps, come up with this amazing messages. Don't put the action towards them. Don't make it the real, because actions speak louder than spoken words. So act, act, act. Moreover, also guys, if you're not willing to share your process with us, with the whole group, just let us know why you're here and also let us know what is one action you're going to take to learn to forgive yourself and move on and let go of the past. I'm really excited to see what you came up with and yeah, see you in the next class. 7. Self-Compassion: Hey guys, I have a small secret I want to share with you so causer are closer. Okay. Stop being such take to yourself. No really guys, let's be honest. Stop being so hard on yourself. Do you really think by being so hard on yourself that in a magical way, every problem, all your problems will disappear and you'd just be so nice to yourself and you will forgive yourself and let go of your past. No, you're making yourself more miserable by every single time you being hard on yourself, you're getting more disappointed, more disempowering, and that will lead you to more pain, suffering, and negative emotions. It's not going to make your life easier and your path for forgiveness easier. It's going to create more obstacles and what you need less of its obstacles. So stop being so hard on yourself. And I talked from experience, I've been there, To be honest with you, I've been the person that has been so hard on himself and constantly telling myself that I'm not good enough. I've been constantly tell myself I'm not working enough, I'm not smart enough. And in what I'm doing is just not enough and I have to do more and more and more and guess what, what happens? You will start to feel discouraged over time. Instead of building your app, you're building yourself down. So every single time you finish a task or you just get something done, you feel like could have done better. If you feel like it's not good, it's not perfect. It could be better. Do you think in the long-term, this is like empowering behavior you want to hear and feel like no, you want to celebrate yourself, even if what she did was okay because at least you get done with it. But I'm going to be honest with you. Did it always work when I was talking with myself in an empowering way, no. But in a long time, did I see like big results and big improvements? Yes. What I want you to do is take your self forgiveness blueprint. And as you can see, I left you a little bit space of here and I want you to write down all the negative things. Do you say to yourself, I'm not good enough, not smart enough. I'm not worthy, I'm worthless. And a man of everything that comes to your mind that is disempowering afterwards based lift some space on the side if you're writing by hand or if your time in the computer or your phone and just write the whole opposite, for example, I'm not enough or good enough. I am enough. I choose to be enough, always will be and have been enough. What I am what I mean, just shift the language and then if you shift every single limited believe you've been telling us our Eric criticism, you have been telling yourself to a more empowering one. I want you to take all those beliefs and create a list out of them. And then constantly in a daily basis, repeat them to yourself. It's important that you make it to a habit. You practice this. This could even be one of your action steps you're going to take to talk to yourself in a helpful way rather than harmful way. So that's what I want you to do. To write down every single negative things you say to yourself. Shipped done in a more positive way and then tell them to yourselves in a repetitive way, being kinda towards yourself and having a more positive, empowering dialogue towards yourself takes time. And if I can do it, you can do it too. So thank you so much for watching this class and see you in the last session. 8. Closing Thoughts: Hey guys, this is the nth rows. The row where I tell you goodbye and I wish you all the bass. But before you leave, I have a small advice you something I've learned are along the roads of the self forgiveness process. And is that when you forgive someone, you do it for yourself. And what I mean by that is that forgiveness is the gift you give to yourself. And that gift is that you give yourself the permission to move on. Because the moment you don't forgive yourself, you are holding yourself back from becoming your best version. And that's why forgiveness is a gift for yourself. For that comes from you. Never forget that. This is like one of my biggest advice I can give to you. So if you should remember, anything from this task, does is it, does is it that forgiveness is for you and outsource your brother or your sister or your mother for your neighbor, for whatever would other person, it's for you, a gift for you. And thank you so much for listening and for participating in this class. I hope you learned a lot and that self forgiveness blueprint helped you also. And I hope that you were able to release some negativity, that you were able to accept the unacceptable, learned some lessons, move forward and take actions and at the end, be a little bit self compassion towards yourself. And if that's one thing again, you should remember is that forgiveness as a gift you give to yourself. Finally, I'm so excited to see your class projects to projects that do trade. And if you forgot it, let me remind you. So what I want you to do is just to take a quick pictures or a screenshot from your self forgiveness blueprint because I want to see your process and I want you to share it with the community so we can each help each other to inspire and grow together. If you don't feel ready to yet share your process with the whole community, just tell us why you are here and what is one action step you are going to take to move forward and to let go of their pasts and forgive yourself, don't forget skill share is a platform where we help each other and empower everyone and so excited to see your class project. And also don't forget to follow me here on sculpture. So you will be the first who gets notified it when there is a new class up and when I have some new content, our news I want to share with you. You will be the first one, will be notified it. So see you soon and have a nice day. Bye.