Transcripts
1. Introduction How to Bounce Back: Hi, my name is Sheila. Welcome to the course. How to bounce back from failure five resilience hacks for 2022. As an attorney, former
candidate for elected office, finnish strategists
and YouTuber. I know just a little something
about bouncing back. I've helped my clients and
pick up the pieces and bounce back from both personal
and business failures. And look, when I ran
for city council, I came in second out of
four in the primary, but I lost in the
general election. So that's more of a
public sort of failure. It's one that took place with quite a few people watching. In this course, we're
going to talk about resilience and why bouncing
back is important. We're going to break down
failures that take place in private versus those
that take place publicly. Why personal failures and private failures can
be more devastating. Then we'll talk about why
bouncing back as important and the five hacks that you can
use to build your resiliency. Plus, we'll wrap up with one
key tip that's guaranteed to change your outlook when it comes to how you view failures. Get ready, grab a pen, paper or a notebook, your tablet and laptop. And let's get those five
resilience hex for 2022.
2. What is Resilience: What is resilience? What is bouncing back? According to the American
Psychological Association, psychologists define
resilience as the process of adapting well
in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant
sources of stress, such as family and
relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and
financial stressors. As much as resilience involves bouncing back from these
difficult experiences, it can also involve
profound personal growth. Under this definition, there are two components that
are often a part of resilience is the
ability to move forward after experiencing
something that's traumatic. And the other is
the personal growth that occurs as a result
of those experiences. In other words, it's not just the fact that we
made it through, but that we are now different and possibly
better people because of it. Now, let's make
sure we note that every experience is not going to result in personal growth. There are times when the
trauma is so great that it can leave a lasting negative
imprint on a psychologically. But in instances
where growth occurs, we can find ourselves
strengthened in our resolve and fortitude. Let's also talk about what resilience isn't or
what it doesn't mean. Resilience doesn't mean that you don't feel pain or emotion. It doesn't mean that
you're impacted when you have
negative experiences. It doesn't mean that you are cold person with no
empathy for others. Sometimes resilient people
are seen as non caring. When tragedy happens, people
respond in different ways. Therefore, it's
important to acknowledge the people bounce back
in different ways. The timeframe for
bouncing back will be different and what it
takes, maybe different. Also, as you go In this course, we'll discuss a five resiliency
hacks for the new year. Now given that you're
on your own path, it will be up to you
to determine which one or ones will be most
appropriate for you.
3. Public and Private Failures: Public versus personal
or private failures, Do you think one is
worse than the other? How about if we just agree
that there are different? Let's talk about public
failures of first, public failures are
those that are known to people outside of our
inner circle and, or people who we don't know. Public failures can be
shared widely as an internationally or
in a smaller setting like your church or town. The biggest concern with public failures is that
they have the ability to change other people's
thoughts and impressions about who we are. Public failures can impact
our reputation more, cause us to lose credibility
with others and have detrimental consequences
on our finances and the way in which
we earn our living. Public failures can be something that's simply personal
and embarrassing, that's now known publicly. Or it can be something
truly devastating like a criminal matter
or a civil lawsuit. Public failures can also
become unimportant really quickly if something else starts to receive the
public's attention. All of a sudden,
that shiny new toy that everyone was
so interested in, that was you is basically
yesterday's news. Sure, people will
remember for a while, but eventually the
shine will wear off. Personal failures
are those that are really only known to you
in your inner circle, and in some cases not
even your inner circle. What we're really talking about, our failures that
occur in private. They can be you not living up to your New Year's resolutions or promises and goals
to study harder. The biggest concerns
about personal failure or with accountability
and shame or guilt, because the failures or private, you might be the only
person who knows about it. And so instead of putting together a plan to move forward, you don't hold yourself
accountable for the failure. You continue to move forward and not learning
any lessons at all. You go back to your
old ways and there's no real opportunity
for self-growth. The other concern has
to do with shame. Sometimes we feel so much
shame and guilt about failing that we move
into a depressive state. This can also happen
with public failures. However, the difference
with public failures and depression is that since other people know
about the failure, they might notice when you need help with a
private failure. If no one knows if a failure, no one will know that
you might need help.
4. Why Bouncing Back is Important: Resiliency plays a big
role in your life. Life is going to be filled with experiences that we
wish we never had. Places we wish we'd never gone. And people we wish
we'd never met, some of us will
feel like a hallway ever experience is trauma
and negative interactions. But these things are
never going away. They are simply a part of life. As a result, we
need to understand why resilience is important. First of all, when we
don't bounce back, it's hard to go forward. We miss out on life and the potential enjoyment and
happiness that's awaits us. Second, when we bounce back, we learn how to move beyond traumatic events by finding an appropriate place for them. In our laws. We own the trauma. We don't let the trauma own us. We learned coping mechanisms. We get better at forgiving
others and ourselves. Third, we also serve as
a role model for others. This is one reason
why recovery and group therapy can be so helpful. You get to hear how
others overcame the situations that
they were in. Others. Get to learn from you also. Sometimes you never
even know that you're being a role model
for someone else. And then fifth,
you will feel more empowered and in
control when you decide that you're
going to take the steps that you need in order
to move forward.
5. Hack 1 - Let's Cope a Little: Now let's talk about the five resilience
hacks for this year. The first one that we're
going to discuss is developing personal
coping strategies. Now, most of us already have some coping strategies
that we use. We just need to delete the
nonproductive ones and then double down on the
productive strategies. In other words, we need to
make better self-care choices. Now about those non-productive
coping strategies, here's what my might look like. Stress eating mindless YouTube, watching my list, social
media scrolling in general. And then there's
general procrastination almost on steroids. Some of this isn't too bad. Sure I'm wasting time
not being productive and basically wallowing
on social media because I feel bad mentally. But it can also serve to provide a break from whatever
stressor drove me there. So imagine that you've just
had a big personal failure. You're not feeling like
you can move forward. You didn't accomplish what
you wanted to and you're not sure what to do next when you feel yourself
getting to this point, it's helpful to have a few productive
coping strategies that you know that you
can always count on. These might include
the following. Exercising, calling up a friend, reading a book,
meditating journalist, and maybe even cleaning. When you're finding it
hard to bounce back, it can be helpful to focus on
something else for awhile. Give yourself some
time to recover, but try to do it in
a productive manner.
6. Hack 2 - Some Things are Better with Others: Heck, to help from others. Too often we try to recover
from failures by ourselves. We think that we have
to go at it alone, but we don't have to. Sometimes we can bounce
back faster and even better than before when we
have the right people with us. Now these can be family
members and close friends, but many times they're trying to bounce back from
their own failures. If you don't have friends and
family that you can go to, you may want to try
personal counseling, group mentoring, or even
online talk therapy. But how do you make
this more productive? It has to mean more than just I had a failure and
now I'm in therapy. Whoever you choose to work
with should be part of an ultimate plan on
how you're going to go forward while it can be good to get things off your chest. You need to also work
on your next steps after the failure was a
little help from others. You'll be able to do just that.
7. Hack 3 - This is What I'm Strong At: Heck three, focus
on your strengths. When you experience a
personal or public failure, you can end up spending
a lot of time beating yourself up about all of the things that you
could have done better, the mistakes that you made, the things you need to work on. But one of the best ways
to bounce back is to skip the criticisms about
all of your weaknesses. If you've already
failed at something and you're having
trouble bouncing back, now is not the time to beat
yourself up even more. Instead, now might be
the time to focus on the things that you got right and to focus
on your strengths. Spend some time
thinking about how to use your strengths even more. If you're great at writing, how can you write more? How can you get your writing
in front of more people? How can you get paid more for
writing the Forbes article, why leaders should
focus on strengths, not weaknesses, and leave the center writes
that our strengths are great resources
for increasing our energy and making
us feel dynamic. It's not uncommon to
lose track of time when focusing on an area
where our strengths shine. It's an experience you may
recall from your youth. Usually these are remembered
as joyful moments. The result of putting
our strengths into what we're doing is joy, energy and feeling alive.
8. Hack 4 - It's Time to Get Real: Heck for be realistic. Another resilience hack
is to be realistic about what happened and what your path
forward looks like. In some cases, it may take a considerable amount of
time to move forward. If you're a failure
was very public, you may have to give others
a chance to move forward. Also, there will be things
that are totally out of your control and you have
to be okay with that. And furthermore, I don't expect
to bounce back overnight. You need to be realistic
about how long it's going to take and what the process of
rebuilding will look like. In the case of private failures, you'd have to hold yourself
accountable for what happened or their improvements
that you need to make. Were there resources that
could have helped you out? Did you take on more than
you should have or perhaps you failed at something that you never should
have been working on. Anyway, sometimes it's hard to acknowledge that we
chose the wrong path. We've invested
resources and so we feel like we can't go in
a different direction. Being realistic means
making sure that we're on the path that we are
supposed to be on.
9. Hack 5 Acknowledge What You're Feeling: Heck five, acknowledge
what you're feeling. Finally, you want
to also acknowledge what you're going through
and all of your emotions. You may be angry at yourself
and hurt by others. You may feel frustrated
and defeated. You may be too tired
to continue or not sure what you
should be doing next. Engage in emotional acceptance, instead of trying to
take control of how you feel and trying to
dismiss the feelings. Understand the feelings that you have and why you have them. If you're disappointed,
seek to understand why you feel that way and
then accept the feeling. This is another time when you
may need to get assistance from a counselor or
participate in group therapy. Failure can feel like
a lot of things. And the last thing
that you want to do is to sweep your
feelings under the rug. Instead acknowledge them
and be okay with them. And then chart a path, your path to move forward.
10. Rewrite the Story: Let's talk about
rewriting your story. The words that we use
matter and one of the best ways to move forward is to visualize
things differently. For instance, instead of
bouncing back from failure, I could have framed this whole course
around lessons learned. The language and
wording is a lot more positive and it does tend to provide more of an
opportunity to address what may have gone wrong and what
may have led to the failure. Additionally, you
failures don't define you if your particular
failure was public. Sure. You may feel like
that's all people are ever going to think
about you going forward. But you can choose how to
define yourself. Andrew life. You know what they say, you learn more
from your failures than you do from your successes. In the end though,
it's all up to you.
11. The Project: For your project,
you're going to write down the hex that you will use to move forward and why these hex will be best
for your situation.
12. The Wrap up: All right, let's
read this course up. I hope you enjoyed
learning about five hex that can help you
become more resilient, imbalanced back, don't
forget to check out more of my courses on lifestyle
productivity, wellness, and business. Feel free to follow me too, so that you can stay
up-to-date with new topics and strategies that will help you build your best authentic self.
Shelia Huggins, Lifestyle & Business
