Transcripts
1. About the Class: How many times did you
want to achieve a goal, like a new business or project or taking a
hobby more seriously. But just didn't. And you keep postponing
and dreaming. Dreaming and postponing. The end of the day. You know, that no matter
what you tell yourself, it's not the timing and
it's not as circumstances. It's you that's preventing yourself from
achieving your dreams. No matter what happens in your
life or how busy you are, you can start going after what you want if you
believe in yourself. Unfortunately, it's hard. This class is exactly for that
internal talk that stops. You. Wait to talk to yourself about your ability to
succeed. It's changing. And if you're afraid he
wants exceed. Just for you. This class takes three steps to change your internal
conversation with yourself. You will learn how to look into your fears and then change
the way you think about that. They looking at what stops you, you will be able to let it
go and move on from it. Then you learn how to
appreciate your strengths and abilities and become stronger
and more confidence. Because you have so
much going for you. And you shouldn't let
your fears handle you. You should be do-while
handling them. This class is based on my research in
personnel experience. I researched fear of failure, how it works, and what
you can do to handle it. And look into my own way of thinking when they
go after a goal. What leads me to achieve and
not be afraid of failure. Because research isn't
worth much without personal experience that I develop this class just for you. So continue to the next video and start going
after what you want.
2. Don't Fear Your Fears: Here, we are not afraid of fear. We're not afraid of
negative feelings. We accept them. We know that it's a part
of life and being human, what do we do is
let them stop us. It's totally fine to
be afraid of failure. It's natural and going
on a new adventure, or just starting to go
after something you want to seek of what will
happen if you don't succeed. If we start being
angry and judgmental towards ourselves when we
have unpleasant emotions, all will get is more
shame and guilt. It wants to help us in any way. We're not looking
to be courageous. We're not even looking
to be positive. And think about
our great future. Once we succeed, we accept
our feelings as they are. We'll get to the positive
thoughts, don't worry. But first, before we get there, we will accept
everything that we fill. Several researchers then
in the last decades have shown that when people think
about their ideal future, even if it's a realistic future, they tend to act less to achieve this desired future,
therefore, achieve less. In 2011, research by
Heather Barrett and Gabrielle Oettingen
was published in the Journal of Experimental
Social Psychology. They divided the
participants into groups. One group was asked to imagine that the
week would be great. The other group was asked
to write down any thoughts their head about the coming
week. What do you think? Which group had a better week and achieved more
of their roles? It might surprise you. But the group that was asked
to think positively about the week was actually lists energized and accomplished less. The group that didn't manipulate their feelings accepted
all of its complexity. The group that acknowledge
the obstacle they will encounter actually had more
energy and achieved more. These findings support several researches that in the past, positive fantasies
without thinking of obstacles in the way, actually resulted in low
effort and less achievement. That's not to say of course, that it's the positive
thoughts that prevent actions and success. You shouldn't stay with
their negative feelings, fears and worries,
and just go ahead. Negative thoughts can
also slow you down and even prevent you from acting and achieving your goals. If you focus too much
on what can go wrong, you can lose sight of
what can go right, can make it bigger in your mind. You can perceive obstacles. Fusel, failing is
impossible, shame is huge. Mountains instead
of little rocks, you can skip over. So we don't want that either. What do we need to
accept the way we feel even when it's not
all sunshine and roses. And also to balance
it with our desire to achieve our goals and our belief in ourselves
and our ability. In the next videos, we will start acknowledging
our fears and worries and get
control over them.
3. Fear of Failure: Now we're realistic people. It's realistic people. We know that we
might not succeed. It's not what we believed would happen or what we
would like to happen, but we know that we might. We also learned that it's better to acknowledge that we may not succeed rather than vision
and idealistic future. And at the same time, we shouldn't surrender fears. What does she do is
gain control over them and know how
to deal with them. First, you're going to
need to write all of the things you fear my
tap and if you fail, yes, I know it can
be intimidating to write all of them down and having to look and
acknowledge them. It may be something that you don't really want
to do right now. But this is exactly
why you need to do it. Because you need to face them. Otherwise, they will
stay as they are. I'm not going to do is tell
you how to write this. Whenever I get told
how exactly to write a list in a table
or any other way, I can get completely lost. And sometimes teachers
insist that we write the list a certain way because it's more
organized for them. But each one has a
different way that's convenient for us to look at
things to write an listings. So what is true to me and what's convenient for me may
not be true to you, may not be always, some people prefer tables, some people prefer
at least some people prefer paragraphs. Or you might even want to do
something with less words. And you can make a list with pictures or drawings
if you'd like to draw. So whatever is
convenient for you would ever will make this task
easier and nicer for you. Whatever is easier for
you to do and understand. Do it your way. That's totally up to you
how you want to do it. One thing that is important, some are on paper or digital, but don't leave it in your head. When sings remain in our brain, even if we think about them, it tends to become a big
mush of ideas and thoughts, and then it becomes
big and messy. The whole idea of getting it out is that you can make it more organized and see how it's less complicated than it
seems in your mind. So do it however you like, but do it somewhere
outside your mind. These are the steps. Step one, make the list. Now is the time to dive into the darkest
parts of your soul. Just kidding. But you will have to look
deep inside yourself. What you do, right? Oh, the bad things you are afraid would happen if you fail. We're talking about
our fear of failing. I deliberately used
the word sale, even though not succeeding
isn't always failing. It's a harsh word. But what we see
is fairly or fear the harsh consequence with
all the difficult context. So let's say how it is. Let's look at our deepest fears. Let's look at him. Ba, do it in a brainstorming
mode, no self judgment. Start with the first thing, the second thing, the third, then you'll see how it evolves
and you have more ideas. And you can see more and
more inside yourself. Make it detailed if you can. For example, if you write, people will make fun of me. If I fail. Then if you can write
to my colleagues, my parents, my friends, is a name names. Another example, I want
to be able to support my family if they
fail, then sync. If you have examples for it, I want to be able to buy my kids as many
clothes they're used, or it will be hard to
pay the grocery store. Or people make fun of me. Maybe you can make it
more detailed like a one, get promoted at work because
people will see me fail. No fear is absurd. Nothing is off-limits,
is a legitimate feeling. And we are here to accept it
and take control over IT. Stack to likely or unlikely. Now that you wrote to the list and good
for you by the way, because it's not an easy step. Go through all of the things you're afraid
might happen if you fail. And right next to each scenario. How likely is it to happen? For each one, right? Likely or unlikely. After you wrote, If it's
likely or unlikely, look at the least,
look at your fears. How much of these fears
that may be very scary like not having money or losing friends or whatever
you wrote there. Scary. But how likely is it, you may see that not all of it, or even not most of
it is even likely. We're already starting
to gain control. Step three,
inconvenience or Hor. Now, let's go to the next steps. If it were to happen, how bad will it
actually be right next to each thing on your list while it would
create in your life, will it be an
inconvenience or a horror? For example, say you're scared that people will look at you differently if you
don't succeed. Will that be a horror in your life or just
an inconvenience? How bad is it really? How horrific is it? Or will it just be unpleasant? Now look at it again
and you can see how these things become
smaller and smaller. Steps for what could I do? Now go through the things on
your list and ask yourself, what could you do
to cope with it? For example, I
could take a loan, I could talk to this person. I'm afraid we'll make fun
of me when you can sign solutions and ways to cope if those things
were to happen. Can anyone promised
you to succeed? Can anyone promise you that what you go after will happen? No, No one can. But now you know that
even if you fail, it's not the end of the world. You can deal with anything
that comes your way. Failing is not the worst
that could happen. It's far from it. And even if you will, you have full control
of your life.
4. Prices: We've talked about
our fear of failing. That doesn't mean
we only fear of the big thing called
failure. Of course. Even when we succeed, or should we say, especially in order to succeed, we have to pay prices. Things we will have to give up or endure during the process. Let's tackle them as well. Now, going after your goal can not come without
prices you'll have to pay. Even if something is an
inconvenience and not the horror. It's still something you're
going to have to deal with. We prepare ourselves to
the prices and knowing in advance how to handle them
if and when the will occur, will be ready and able
to handle them better. Also, once you know the prices
you'll pay and what to do, you can make better decisions. It will all become less intimidating and you'll
be better equipped. So first, we will
write it all down just to make it more
clear to tune it down, to see what we have
to deal with and see that it's probably
not as big as it seems. These are the steps. One, make a list
of all the prices you think you'll pay if
you go for what you want. It can be all sorts of prices. And honestly, what's considered the price can vary
from person to person. For example, less
time with your kids, less time to go out
with your friends, less money coming in. And also people who want to prove a position
from loved ones. Convincing people, waking up
earlier than you're used to, changing your
schedule and so on. So start with this list. So you know what you're
up against here. The way he wrote
about the fear of failure with no judgment. Everything is legitimate. Start writing and
then you'll see how it evolves and
evolves as you continue. If something is a price to you, it is a price. Step two, now,
next to each price wrote down sink how
to deal with it, how you will cope. Then, of course, write it down. Take time to think about it. Write a real doable way. Not something superficial,
just to get it done like I'll go
out with my friends, then work with lists, asleep, or spend time with my
kids while working. All of this will just not work or not doable and will
create more prizes. So no sink of something real. Otherwise, it won't
make you feel better and it won't happen. So think how it will
change your schedule, or how you will arrange
things with your friends, or how you will cope
financially by taking the loan, changing your expenses, the
way you handle your finances, write it in a way that you know, you will able to cope to do. Now you have prices, but you also know
what to do with them. This step does not mean you
will not have to pay a price. You will have to pay a price. It's meant to prepare
you for the price, minimize the effect, and let you know your
ability to cope. This is the time to think about what's the game
compared to the price. Because in the end, you're going to do what you're going to do because you want to end up with more
gains than prices, willing to pay prices, you will gain more. For instance, I'll have
less than with the kids, but I'll be able to pay for their college or give
them a better life. Financially. I'll spend
less time with my friends, but it won't make me lose them and there'll
be more fulfilled. As a person, you will
still have to pay prices. Of course, you can
achieve anything worthwhile without
paying prices. But now you're more prepared. You know what you're up against, how to minimize the prices. And when you pay them, you know what for, what's the ultimate
gain you will have.
5. Strengths and Abilites: This is the time to look
at what you do have, what you achieved, your
strength as a person. And that's a lot. You looked deep into your fears. That's really brave of you. But no one can really
succeed if you only think about what
setting you back. Another thing that's extremely important is to increase our
self-esteem and self-value. And it's not just about telling yourself how amazing
and powerful you are, even though you are. It's a lot more than that. Why is it important to
self a form herself? Researcher himself, a formation has been done
for the last decades. It shows that by self-affirming, we build a more stable
narrative of who we are. But doing so, we
become more flexible and it's easier to adapt
to different situations. Abroad, self-identity
will make you more resilient to
difficulties that may arise. Self estimations also
make you optimistic and help if you have the tendency to endure negative
experiences and thoughts. Optimism is so important when you're trying to
achieve something in life. Overall, by
self-affirming, you will getting stronger self-value
and sense of self, which will help you cope with the hurdles and obstacles
that will come your way. So this is what
you'll do and this is not something that you'll do once like the rest of the list. It will be more ongoing. In the projects
and resources tab, you will sign a document with
a list of characteristics. Least. Look at each one that you have. You as a person. After you finish, you're more than welcome to add
more of your own. Goes through it several times. If you're struggling, you will, you will find it maybe easier to add more and more
that you think you have. This list, this list
of your strength. Some are permanently
close to you. You can hang it in your office, for instance, or in
your living room. And if you want to
keep its private, put it next to your bed. Keep what's good about
too close to you. You can decorate it. Do it, however, is nice to you. Then do something that isn't
just about your strengths, but helps you look at how
you use it, the string. When you are on a journey
to achieve something, it's easy to lose sight of small successes of things that you do well
each and every day. Every week. At the end of
the week, taken notebook, paper or digital, and write five things you
did well at week. It doesn't have to be big. It can be a phone call
you didn't want to make, but it can be a meeting that
went well, a good answer. You gave some assignments
you completed. Next to each one, write the strength you
used in this action. The ones from the list. Duct, right? Less than five. If you can't find five things you did well the entire week. This is exactly the point to learn how to
see these things. This way. You know, not just
what's good about you, but also how you
use your strengths. Do well and succeed
on a regular basis.
6. Class Project: Now is the time for
our class project. Maybe you started doing
it during the videos. And if not, this is the time. Everything you learn
in this class. The list of fear of failure,
prices, and strength. Also edit least one
week of successes. If you'd like feedback, upload your lists to the
projects and resources tab. There's a document with the major points there
as well that you can download and use to make it easier to remember
what you need to do. If you have any questions, you can ask them at
the Discussions tab, then the most important
thing is to just get to it and do it. Good luck.
7. Summary: So what did we learn
here in this class? We learn to face our fears, acknowledge them, and
gain control over them. With three lists,
which are important. So we can get their
thoughts out of our minds and see
them more clearly. We learned how to write fears of failure and how
to deal with them. The prices you'll have to pay
and how to cope with them. Finally, positive
self-affirmation. How to acknowledge and notice your strengths
and abilities. I hope these methods
will help you achieve what you want in
life and fulfill yourself. Because you deserve
nothing less.
8. What's Next?: Well done on
finishing this class. It's not easy to do what's
required of you here. And it's very courageous of you. If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to post them in the
discussions tab. If you liked this class, please leave a review. Don't forget to
follow me here to get updates on future classes. If you want to talk and follow me for other
things they do, you can find me on
my Facebook page, loved to learn by a D, Sharon. Thanks again for being here with me and see you next time.
Adi Shimron
