Transcripts
1. Class Introduction: Welcome to session three of
shooting from the heart. In this session we're
going to literally invite chaos into our creative process. We're going to open the
door to possibility. We're going to let go of
control for a bit and we're going to see what happens if
we allow this other force, this sort of random, crazy force, to enter
into our process. So it requires some faith, that requires some trust. It requires letting go
of preconceived ideas about what is it that makes a good photograph or what
makes a beautiful photograph? And opening our eyes and
our minds and our hearts, two possibilities that we
haven't yet quite imagined. And the results
can be incredible. So let's jump right into it.
2. Check In: We've come together enough times now and you've been
engaged in this work for enough weeks that you
may notice that thing, that something's happening, that maybe something
starting to shift. It might be pleasant, it might be unpleasant. It, it might be surprising, it might be anything. But in the context of your work, your life, and the interplay between your work in your life. If there is anyone
who would like to, for your own good, if you feel that it's
beneficial for you to share anything about that shifting without being too specific at this point because
we're going to check in about happenings and
journal writing and things. But just as a kind
of a general sense, does anyone feel that there's any sort of a shift going on? Depth more like into my Power. Last week, I think that we're
potentially zooming me. I'm like, No. Let
that come to me. You know. Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's interesting
because it sounds like you're almost associating
surrender with power. That there's another
power that you're, that you're allowing to
join forces with you. Well, that's kind
of interesting. Yeah. Anybody else? Kim, Kim that there's like a lot of chaos going
on in my life right now. And I found that
I was really able to kind of stay above it. And that brought me calm. And by me being calm, I was able to kind of help
everybody else around me. Instead of being
part of the chaos, I was able to just be in the chaos and not
judge the chaos. And just like, I don't know, I feel like my, my heart
chakra is much more open. Many schools of meditation,
especially Zen Meditation, will say that that all of
this noticing, noticing, noticing moves toward
a certain separation between the ongoing and you're, you're our tendency to so desperately want to be part of that excitement
and that drama. And because it's an
addiction, right? And I think we have varying
degrees of addiction, that drama, but I think
it's a human thing. And the idea of letting
go of that drama and imagining that what's on the other side of that
drama is sheer boredom. And that's so scary, right? But it's not. I think
what it is is it's peace. And I think sometimes
it's not even, even boredom as much as it
it's a distraction from what's really going on in the
sitting with what the truth is and feeling your feelings? Yeah. And like getting,
you know, for me, I just like I don't know what was going
on with the stars, but it was like every member of my family had such deep
interpersonal issues. And I don't know, I was just able even I was
surprised the way I handle it myself and the
things that came out and I was so calm
and I was like, Oh, I don't know if like wisdom, that's the word
that comes to mind. I felt very wise this week. Maybe it's fair to say
that that's an example of a kind of a loosening
of an identity, right? That if I've identified
myself my whole life as being either the caregiver
or the rescuer or the, or the entertainer or
the intellect or the, or the introvert
or the whatever. And suddenly because
you're noticing, oh, look at me, look at
me doing that thing. Maybe maybe I don't need
to do that anymore. Yeah. And you actually give
yourself permission to begin to experiment and to play with some other identities. Certainly the first
step to transformation is being aware that
things can be. And I think that what comes with that when you awaken to that is the discomfort of
realizing that's not me. That's a role that I've chosen. And now there's something
that's arising in me saying, I don't think that
serves me and it doesn't serve my power for sure. So a protein the edge and dancing on the edge
is so uncomfortable. But that's, that's where
the discovery happens. That's where the
revolution happens. Then if we find ourselves
telling ourselves that same story again
about why I can't, I can't do that because there's all these
other things going on. And then you may find new
step back in a day, a week, a month or two later
and realize, wow, I'm still saying the same story, but it's just a story. Then if you want to
change the story, that's tough because everybody around you expects
the same story, right? Everybody that's yeah. That's the harsh department. Yeah. Trying to kind of, um, explain to people
what you're doing or why something is different and yet they're not
going to understand. No. No.
3. Opening Lecture (pgs. 1-5): This photograph hangs
in my living room. Four by six feet, a
little bigger than that. And we now live in a place that is not
private, like a house. There is a path, a road actually that goes
in front of our house, only maybe 15 feet or so away from the house where everybody can
see in our house. And if the curtains
aren't drawn, she is what you see. And she looks life-size,
she looks real. And so so she's out there and I'm out
there and I'm happy to say I'm at a point in
my life where this is a wonderful filtration mechanism for those who see it and
love it and want to know me. Great. And if you don't, how great, you know, I never
have to talk to you. And I'm good with that because not for that reason, but it's, it's one of my
favorite photographs I ever created and I
want to celebrate it. And I've been looking at it for about two years now hanging on the wall in two
different homes. And there's not a day that I walked by it and I don't look and say, nice photographs. I was so stuck in making overly romanticized
photographs for so long. But I realized that
a certain point, I'll never let that go. Because all the way down into
the marrow of my marrow. I am a romantic and I was definitely around
during the Renaissance. There is no doubt I went to the place where
I had lived before. In the city of sienna. There's just no doubt. But I discovered that
my work was kinda one-dimensional and because it was just overly romanticized, I had gone through
a period I had left behind anything that
had a narrative to it. I had committed myself
to portraiture. In the moment
whatever arose arose, there was no direction, there was no no forethought. And I had done that for, I'd say a good 15 years. The idea to start to invite a narrative back into
my work where there was actually the thinking of
a storyline and then the, and then looking for a
location and finding a model and choosing wardrobe
and lighting in lenses. And that was
something that I had made a sworn pact with myself. I will never go down
that road again because it's all
********, It's all lies. And I am a truth teller. I'm going to reveal
life as it really is. And I loosened up that, that one sidedness
and I just wondered, what would it be like if
the two live together? Hence, chaos is
what would emerge. And this idea of this romanticized view of
everything is so lovely and so perfect and so
idyllic and so 1950s. That's what it's
all about for me. It's like bring back the 1950s
baby because that's when we privileged white men saw the world as
beautiful and perfect. How interesting that people were being lynched at the same time. So that's sort of
like wait a minute, Don't tell me that. Don't tell me that while I'm
doing the sock hop that in Mississippi somebody is being lynched and burned at the stake. That's too hard to
really process. But that's the truth, right? So we can choose
one or the other, or we can actually
choose to recognize that both of these things
exist simultaneously. And as a result of that, it's all it's all weird and it's I don't I
don't like it so much. So once I started to bring
narrative back into my work, I thought if I'm going to
find the romanticize version, I'm kinda done with
the Renaissance. And I'm going to
move into the 1950s. And I had it fine. How do I take current at that time,
20th century thinking, 2000s thinking and the
reality of the world today and my reality and kind of blend it in a seamless way with that
ideally nature of 1950s. So I poured over
books and books, and books and websites
of 1950s photographs. And looking through, I
don't know how many issues of Life magazine
and just trying to understand what was this
twisted way of representing an era that was so much more complex than Life magazine
decided to make it look. And then like put
out all these books. Mother, father,
daughter, cousin, the neighborhood make is this. This is such a jaded. Look at this. So yummy. And I want to go and
get an ice cream soda at the little shop down the street two and
I want to kiss my girlfriend and
nobody got raped. And, you know, in the
1950s, I think they did. And nobody beat their wife, you know, more than
ever that they did. But not in Life Magazine. Know because everything was very pretty right because
you had oval team, they had to sell
its products. So. It had to be like that in
order for it to survive, in an order for this
whole facade to exist. So when I, when I had the
idea for this photograph, I had to go and
find a 1950s diner, not knowing that there
are only two left in New York City that had
not been renovated. And I knew I could never ever get permission
to shoot there. Now, the trajectory
of my whole career as a photographer with
anything that was planned. Illustration, idea was accrue in a truck full of equipment, location permits,
paying somebody if V closing down the store, you know, it's like a mini
little movie production. And I knew I couldn't do that. So I'm thinking how
do I take 1950s documentary style and approach and marry it to
this other thing, which is this fashion
illustration, high-level production. They do not belong
in the same world. So luckily, I found my partner, who is this young
lady named Siri, who is one of the most creative
human beings I ever met. She's photographer,
director, model, actress, writer,
brilliant young lady. And we spoke for hours
about this idea. And I would send her
photograph after photograph, and she would send me back pictures and videos
of wardrobe choices. She must have showed me. I'm not going to exaggerate, I would say between 4050 bras. She also, she rented
her her apartment as a set for films
and her wardrobe. Because she was so
much about fashion, not only about herself, but her about her
furnishings and about her wall coverings. And people would pay
lots of money to shoot little scenes and films and photographs
in her apartment. She had this crazy wardrobe in. We just kept on
going and going and going until everything hurt. The length of her fingernails, the color of her nail polish, every single teeny tiny thing
was decided beforehand. So for the first
time in my life, I show up to shoot in a location and probably
the last time without permission ready to
make this photograph. So the hamburger was a given, you know, it was
gonna be a hamburger deluxe hadn't come
with it, fries. And so she's sitting there. And the only other
people in a diner was this folks in the back, but you can see back there. So amazingly play. And because it was like we had rehearsed this
over and over and over again and so serious that there I had my camera
on my chair next to me. And once the hamburger arrived, I reached over and
I don't remember why I was going to move
the plate or something. And she snapped at
me and she's like, it's Perfect. Don't touch anything. So it just sat there. And then sort of on cue, she opened her
blouse and I got off ten frames before the guy behind the counter
ran over to us. Maybe sit stop right now. And he showed us we were
on closed circuit TV. And he said if he his concern was was it he would
get fired for allowing us to do it
because people pay thousands of dollars to use that location because
there's only two left. So I didn't know that
nor would I have cared. But I was so nervous and
because it was digital. Right. I looked at I looked at
him like Siri, we got it. We got it. And I never ever thought never did I
think that we got it. And then I went
back and I learned all this new stuff
about creating kind of film effects with
digital and still feel guilty about it to
this day, about faking it.
4. Feedback : We're not looking, we're
not looking to critique photography in a way that says I can help you make
a better photograph. That's not, that's not
what this is about. This is really about
how does, how, how are you expressing yourself in is what you're
expressing through your photographs indicative of what is going on inside of you. That's really the question. And then we can, can I have
a whole lifetime to make art photographs better and
prettier and all those things. I wasn't even going to show
this one but, you know, after you described what it was supposed to be
because I have to say I don't think I
did the assignment the way it was
supposed to be done. I kind of just had
been photographing. Just I didn't really go
with the contradiction. So I've just been thinking
about my process. Okay. What I want to say
about this photo, Kim, is that for me, this is a huge departure
from what I've seen of you, which, which I
think is fantastic. And I'm not going
to say good job. I'm going to say
different, it's different. And I think that
that's exciting. And I think different
for the sake of different is wonderful. When I'm thinking about what, I'm thinking about my
process with this. I often really enjoy and
this is new that I'm like, I want to be a fly on the wall. I want to look in and
see something happening, but I want to be on the outside. I want to give you
permission to like, take a big dream here, right? Just I go poof magic wand. Okay. And now
you're now situated in a place that is so far, further along in that world than you can imagine
yourself as a, maybe you want to be famous. Maybe you want to
have your photographs on the walls of a museum, or maybe you don't. But what I'm suggesting is that give yourself
permission to imagine yourself engaged in
work like that at a very high level where you don't have
to answer to anybody. You don't have to be a mom. You don't have to be wife. You don't have to
be entertainer. You can be Diane Arbus. I'd love to be heard. So take, take a ride down fantasy land and see if
you can allow yourself to imagine what it would feel like to be that
photographer that fly on the wall and see if you can let your imagination take
you geographically, physically, conceptually,
spiritually, where you might want to land and not have to explain yourself to anybody because
you're already there. It's almost like you transport yourself
into another body, into another time,
in another place. And somehow magically you're
surrounded by people and opportunities that
completely support this part of your being. Can you imagine what
that might be like? Can you describe it? Well, it's not Diane Arbus. It's Robert Frank. I have had this dream to
get into a car and just dr and photograph things and I am going to be getting into a car
and driving tomorrow. My daughter to Wisconsin. So I thought about part of that. Will maybe I'll take some
photographs along the way. Maybe I won't, I'll see how I
feel. But it's interesting. I've been thinking a lot about the contradiction things because it feels very contradictory. The world kills very
contradictory right now to me, I feel like that's what
Robert Frank did then. He photographed United States and people didn't love
how we photographed it. And I think those
photographs are amazing. And I had this dream
that I'd love to be able to do that, to take photographs. Maybe for right now, people would say
they're not so great, but maybe in 2030 years. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So is it is it also for
you of this country? Is that the particular sure. You didn't yeah. Right now, it's anywhere but
in my surroundings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's interesting because something that you're
bringing up as similar to what you brought
up before Katie. There's a kind of an all
or nothing polarized. Num nature to this,
to this thinking. And I think that a road trip to Wisconsin would be a very different
experience if you said you were going by yourself
and where you no longer have to excuse yourself or when someone's
like Come on mom. You know, why why are you taking a picture of that
dead beaver? Know? I know that's what's
going to happen. So I would say to think about
what it might look like for you to have a really many
experiences like that. But where are you? When we know what it's like in those moments that
you just saw there, you know, you're not thinking about anyone
else or anything else. And it's like you
just like gobbling up all the yummy nits of that your soul is just
like, Thank you. Thank you. Finally, you're
taking care of me. And I would say because you're so clear and you're
so passionate, and this is not new, evidently. It's, it also has
a foundation of a particular photographer and
a particular body of work. I would say, think about
what it would look like to have a little
teeny tiny mini, but not too many. A little bit out there. There are people
say like, Oh God, Kim's going away for
three days in a camper and I herself by herself
and she'll get over it. You know, it's just the thing is he's gotta get it
out of our system. Which is so the opposite
of what's really true. And so these little, little steps that
these seem small, but they take so much
courage and neat and they take disconnecting
from its back to this thing. It's like, yes, you
all know me as this. I've created this, this sort of like a puppet
version of myself. But I'm done with it. It doesn't serve me anymore. I know it still serves you and I know you're probably
going to miss me, but I've got something inside of me that just
needs to be born. And it can be seen as
rebellious I think, but it doesn't have to be. It's more just like, you
know, coming to life. So I think that when, for me, photography is
particularly interesting in this matter because
you're coming, you're returning with a
record of your adventures. And they may not be, you may not be linear
interpretations of what you've seen. Hopefully they're not, there's symbolic interpretations
of what you've seen. And like you say, people may
get it, they may not get it. Who really cares? You know, get get a
second refrigerator for you needed just for yourself to stick them on
my refrigerator. Your refrigerator.
5. Feedback Pt2: So complex. I think that's why I picked
this one and not the others. I think it's so easy for me
to take a pretty picture and make people with beautiful
and life look beautiful. And this to me is
just, it's just raw. Obviously, that's my husband. I'm in the room. He's
watching hockey. It's just real to me. But yet I feel like the
light was beautiful. The lines were beautiful. That's where the push
and pull came for me. Yeah. I know what I've
discovered is that once those contradictions
become apparent, I think, I think
they're always there. I think because we live in this, in this dual society, we have a dualistic
philosophy that we abide by. We tend to think that those
contradictions are not there and will do whatever
it takes to make it not so, but they are there. So along comes
what we would say. Maybe that's, maybe that's
a perspective of honesty. It's like the duality is there
and it can be celebrated. And what I've noticed is that, that further apart I
can push those things more beautiful and
more difficult. The more interesting that
photographs tend to get. So that can happen because you're creating narrative
and you might say, Okay, I have this idea
for a photograph, and this is what it's
gonna look like. Or it's just in the sake, in the, in the context of
a documentary photograph. It's just, it's waiting, it's waiting for that,
for that moment. Like cotton paper Sen's idea of the decisive moment is there, is, it is at the, at the epitome of tension. That's when the
photograph is made. So being aware that
you're looking for, he used the word
geometry instead of composition and you
refer, refer to lines. And so at the moment when everything is
absolutely perfectly aligned geometrically and
there's this moment of those two things
are not belong. They don't belong together, but they do belong together. And you're forcing
your viewer to say, you know what, somehow
I'm okay with this. And they don't want to be
okay with it because tell me, is it uglier is a
beautiful yeah. And you're like
actually the beauty is in the acceptance
of the way it is. And that's beautiful
because you've finally move away from all the pain of
wishing that it was different. It's interesting that this
was the first shot I did. And obviously I
used my wide angle. And then I brought out my 85, I think yeah, I
think it was my 85. And obviously it was a
closer detail of him. And right, as I
took the picture, he moved his hands. And I was so excited except it wasn't like I wish
it was more blurred. I wish it was more imperfect. But I want to I want to go back and play with that
with it because I noticed that like
all of my pictures are so these are like these little beacons
that we're coming upon, like go down this path because there's something
down there for you. You didn't even know that
the path existed before. And I think that's
the important part. That as you're changing
and is you're shifting and is your view of the world and yourself in the
world is shifting. You're going to be making different photographs
then you made before. And they're gonna be
more complicated and, and more personal and ideally better in a way that maybe
you can't grasp for awhile. Because I think that when
we walk into a process with a certain definition of what's
good and what's quality. And then you're making
images like that to satisfy those
definitions of what's good. And then you make
something that's not good. The tendency is just to reject
it and try to come back. But when you're opening your
mind and you're saying, I don't really know
anymore What's, what's good, what's bad,
what's interesting? And then you just give
yourself that permission and then suddenly you look
one day and you're like, I never I never even saw
that photograph before. And it's, and it kind of goes back to this Robert Frank idea. Like, yes, the
people didn't know, like, what are you doing, man. And then later, decades later, is proclaimed the
greatest body of work, MR. to walk across the
planet. As wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the frustration is so good. But it's not, it's not, it's not an abstract
frustration. You're really honing
in on something specific that there's
a certain energy, there's a certain
dynamic that's missing. And interesting
because eventually the topic we'll get to as chaos, there's a certain chaotic
element that's missing. Yeah, like I don't really
know what that's about. There's a blurry
thing going on there. I wonder what that is. You made a photograph with very specific intention and
you made it and sharing it. So as far as your creative process and the direction that
you're going with your work does does the creation of that photograph and the sharing of
the photograph, does that does that help you
in moving in a direction? I don't know. I mean, I just been chair,
so I don't know. I mean, I would think so. Right. How do you feel uncomfortable? Know how how how
else do you feel? What else is coming up? I feel like that's
me in that picture. Don't feel like into it. So I think that's why
I feel uncomfortable. I don't know. I
don't think it was like I don't think there was. I'm going to create
this texture and apply. I think it was more
of I could see it and was very uncomfortable even taking it because
they felt very intimate. And, you know, I always feel like I have to ask permission before
you take a picture. And I don't know what
that's about. You know. So here's Allan asked
you this question. It's kinda related to the
question I asked at Kim, but let's think of this thing in slightly different contexts. What would it be like
for you to allow this huge pride to come through you about
the brilliance of your artistry and be recognized
for how talented you are. How that photograph be. A little piece of evidence of the world seeing how
brilliant you are. And as a result of that success
that, that photograph is, I'm going to say ten by 15
feet on the wall of a museum. And just kinda let
yourself go there. So now you have this opening. There's you and
there's no photograph. And there's a couple
of 100 people all in their dresses
and their toxins, drinking champagne
and toasting you. Can you wrap your head around the idea that a photograph
that you've made, that, that personal, That's, that makes you feel
that squeezy queasy. That it's possible,
that it could be, of value, could be celebrated, could be seen as beautiful and worthy of being celebrated. Can you put yourself
in that space? Still feel like I feel
exactly how I feel right now. That I mean, I
guess. I don't know. Yeah. I feel like I could
put my thumb up there. Doesn't mean nobody asked
you to be comfortable. You can be you can be
wanting to throw up. But the question
is, can you also, can you also put another piece of yourself
in the equation to say, yes, I'm uncomfortable
with added, added, added, added that by Holy ****. Am I good? Is that possible? I'm not who I am. I know. I don't know. So far. It's funny.
I'm listening. I'm so into this
because it's not me. Really. I, I'm relating to it because it's
very interesting that you say this fantasy and
can you put yourself there? Yeah, because we're so
conditioned to be who we are. And that's what's so far. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That picture is like a
gut when I look at it. But it's beautiful, but it's
like a punch in the gut. And so I don't know. It's funny. I find
myself once in awhile and critiques that
once in a while, the thing that I say
is make it big, right? And I find myself saying
that when something is, it's personal and yet
it's so universal. Like I can relate to
that photograph, right? I don't necessarily see
in it what you see. You know, I'm a man. I'm not, you know, I don't know this
subject intimately. But yet there's
something about it that just resonates with me. Not on any intellectual level, not even on its sexual level. Just on a human level. It's like Hertz. There's something
about it that just really hurts and
I know that pain. I know that there's
embarrassment there and I know that there's uncertainty and I know that
there's disconnection. There's something I know, but I don't want to
run away from it. Instead, I want to actually say, Hey, can you help me? Can you help me actually get in touch with this part of myself? Because you've been able to tap into that universality somehow.
6. Creative Stretch (pgs. 6-9): If you sit quietly, your mind is going
to reveal madness. It's not going to stop. It's going to have
nothing to hold onto. Its like saying you're just dangling out there and
there's nothing at Grab and there's all this stuff that's just coming at you. By its very nature. That is chaotic because you want nothing more
than to bring order. But the meditative
meditation practice doesn't allow order. It just simply doesn't. All the best that it can do is allow you to
separate a little bit. But it's not, you're
not gonna really draw a singular conclusion. You're not going to
necessarily find some sense of peace and quiet. What you're going
to discover is that there are things in you that are so alive and there are
things about you that are, that are so unknown,
unexpected, unacceptable. So what, what this
asks you to do is this exercise asks you basically to meditate
on the word passion. Not to understand
the word passion, but to allow the word passion
that enter into your psyche and allow passion to drive
what's going on inside. Because there is desire, right? There's this very
root desire that sits all the way down there in that first chakra
saying free me, free me, let me live, let me actually expand. But the reason that, at least from what I
understand physiologically is that when that clenching happens
down in at first chakra, you shut yourself down. Physiologically. There's pain emotionally,
there's pain spiritually, it's being certainly
creatively there's pain. What this is basically saying
is that if you can learn to slowly start to attune
to what that soulful, passionate, beating heart of your being is asking
you to go and explore. Then you can have the willingness
and the wherewithal to go and take that little journey, meet that photograph or share that photograph or whatever it might be that you're actually
in service to your soul. If we want to take
it one step further, if you believe that we're
all part of one thing. And we have this one
big beating soul. George Carlin called
the giant electron is like Fone Bone. Then that means that
you're tapping into something that is
indeed universal. I think that's why
certain works of art, certain songs,
certain paintings, certain photographs, certain sculptures,
they just resonate. There's something that the
artist tapped into that was so down beneath the specifics
of subject matter and form. And they just communicated
something universal. It's not a question
of trying to do that. That's ridiculous because
we don't know that. But if you abide by the idea that there
is this connection, and that connection is way, way down and you touch
it and you express it, then there's something
that will happen. This is asking you to
be start to be aware of discerning the
difference between what is the writing that I did. I put titillation as
the word on one side, like, it's so exciting. I want that new shiny thing. That's really what I want. I want the core vec or I
want this, I want that. And then there's the
other part which is, I think a lot more lot more grounded and
earthy insubstantial. That's saying, yeah, but
what I what I really desire, what my soul so desires is something that's probably a
lot more nerdy and quiet. Maybe it's insanely
loud or whatever it is. There's a difference there between I wanted
because it's so cool. And this is something that
my soul is begging for. What you're asking about is and it's all written
down instructions is what is something that
you're truly passionate about? The idea is to go through this meditation
exercise and then slide right over into
this which is written. It's all done at one time. So you're saying what
you're passionate about, your writing it down and
then you're asking why. Why am I passionate about that? Let's just say as an example, I say I'm passionate about. I am passionate about breakfast. Breakfast is like you say
breakfast and I say where? I might ask myself
why, why breakfast? Maybe my answer is just, why am I passionate
about breakfast? It's interesting. I never would've thought this, which is a good sign. It reminds me of my dad. Never never realized
that before. So reminds me of my dad. It was one of the one
of the times that I connected with my dad
was over breakfast. It's probably the
one time I saw him every day and he always had
the same thing for breakfast. Two slices of toast or
two halves of a bagel, one with cottage cheese, one with sliced cheese,
usually Osberg. That was breakfast. And then on Sundays he would make blocks and
eggs and audience. And it's like I never
thought about that before. I write that down. You don't reminds me of my dad. Why am I passionate about that? What is it When I think about that connection
with my dad? What comes up for me about the passion that's
related to that, why? I write that down? You're writing down on here. It's going to be breakfast is that thing that I'm
passionate about. Breakfast. I'm gonna write it,
draw a circle around breakfast and I'm gonna
connect those two circles. And then why, why breakfast? And then I'm gonna say,
I'm just gonna write Dad, I don't have to be all
that all that specific. Then what is it about my
relationship with my dad? That that that is driving
me the passion in me. What is it about that? Why my dad? I'm not really
thinking right now, but whatever that
answer would be, that answer would go here.
Then I will do this. I think in the exercise I
suggest five bubbles like that. And then you go back to passion again and you ask yourself, What's something else that
I'm passionate about? And then you would
write that here. Thing, thing to draw a circle and then
continue like that. So in the end you're going
to have these sort of web like that of things on an inset circle are the things that you're
passionate about. And as you go back, as you go out towards
the edges of the page, you're asking yourself, Why
am I passionate about that? As part of what's
in this exercise? It's asking you to
allow yourself, to allow these images
and ideas to come forth. Things will come. Whatever comes, whatever it is, write it down before you
have a chance to reject it, before you have a
chance to analyze it, before you have a chance to make decisions about
whether it's good or bad, just write it down. This is really what
you're starting to do is to train your
intuition and to trust your intuition and move away at your intuition
is not interested in the past or in
norms and ideals. It's interested in allowing
your soul to speak. Photography in the
making of art is such a beautiful reply to that, so that you don't
necessarily have to go and change your entire life. Tomorrow in order to heat what your soul
is asking you for. You are heating it
and you're using it and you're creating
from that place. And then you say, okay, that was a step along the way. Let's see what happens next.
7. Personal Happening (pgs. 10-13): Would you mind is
it shareable or is it not shareable?
Not sure about. Okay. So you don't so without without
sharing the happening, can you share more of not the specifics of it
or the specific results, but just has it affected you in any way whatsoever without
talking about the event? For sure, 100% that charitable or is that
just to private to share? It brought my awareness in a situation be more meaningful than I thought it
was that clear? Yeah. Which I don't know.
I don't know. Now, my thoughts and had had shifted completely
with that situation. It also didn't have
what I thought it was. It was more and kinda sad. And you thought
it would be what? Exciting and exhilarating? Yeah. Interesting the difference
between what we imagine and what's real, right? Yeah. Do you want
to do want to share what's happening we spoke
about was very specific. Specific thing I was gonna do, but it made me see
what, what it was. So it was, I was going to
not be the fun sucker. Remember, I get very
anxious warning, everybody jumps up with a
bow and I was gonna do it, but I didn't really have
an opportunity to do it. What does it didn't make
me think in general about other things that
made me think rod, would would you still consider jumping off the
boat at a future date? Yes, I would. I just am not sure why because
that was her happening. If she does it in the future, does that still count as
completing a happening? Asked him when she's done it? I think it'll have the
same result whether she did this week
or in three weeks. One would think it might
even be more profound, even happens in three weeks. It could have been
last weekend for Kim. It could be a month from now, it could be next year. It could be that you decided
to go skydiving and just forget about jumping off the boat because you
realize that's for babies. And you want to just free fall. Or who knows? Or it might be a metaphor
and it might have nothing to do with actually
physically jumping, but you might realize that it has everything to do
with taking a huge risk. I think that's what it made
me start thinking about. The tendency though. This was just an
example of something I could do to break out
of that tendency. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, really thought about an ally and an
interesting thing about his people on the outside are
calling you a fun sucker, right? That's not nice. But what can come from that? I think it's asked yourself, you robbing yourself
of something. Is this part of you, this fear-based need
to be accepted, need to have this role, is that getting
in the way of you actually having a really
passionate existence.
8. Closing Lecture : Photography gave me
permission to do things and go places and talk to people that I that I wouldn't
have been able to. I think it's fair to say
that that's true for, if not all, certainly
many, many photographers. Whether you're shooting a war or a beautiful model or camera. Yeah, something
very powerful tool. And I think that there's
these two pieces. There's the creation of the
photograph in the moment, but then there's the sharing of the photograph and
how is it shared? And this is a serious questions because they can make or
break people's lives. I have a really big
like you were saying. I mean, I feel like yeah. Yeah, yeah. You have to really get up and look at it and see
what it's all about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was taught this lesson by somebody who I have
so much respect for. A guy named Jim McCarthy
who owns one of the few remaining black and
white labs in the world. And I had done a series of photographs and I made these little six by eight inch prints. And little gems. Took two days and days and
days to print these things. And I went to pick them up and they were they
were all air dried, so they were all over
the lab laying out in every ten versions
of the photographs. And he said, Why did you
decide to make them so small? And I said because I wanted
them to be more intimate. And that's when
he taught me, was the first time ever heard this idea of intimacy
being into me. See. And he says he goes,
I couldn't resist. And he showed me and
he made a big print. I get 3040, I think 203030
by 40% of one of them. And he said, and he held them up pieces which
is more intimate. And I was just like, Oh my God, did I waste a lot of money. And I learned that lesson at
that point that you thought any bigger print was way more and so much more
intimate, so much more. Because it's such an
invitation to go into a very private
place and do it in a way that it's even
more private somehow. It's a funny thing. It's just it's like you feel like you're
literally in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think the idea of
intimacy is tight so much to vulnerability that we think are the most intimate moments. It's somebody including yourself that's willing to
say, You know what? I'm open here, you know, I'm open for business. Oh, and so am I. And this is like
Rob Goldman, Photographer & Creativity Coach
