Communication Skills For Life · The Relationship Economy

1. Introduction · Communication Skills For Life · The Relationship Economy: Oh, it's Thomas Siena. And thank you for joining me. For those of you who have taken one of my courses before, you know me already. Here I am ready again to present to you content that I feel is very important. When you review some of my other courses, you'll see that I predominantly create courses in the business lifestyle. I even did a course on travel hacking to Paris on a budget because, you know, I love traveling to Paris. I am currently semi retired, living in the south of France. It was a dream of mine. And as part of my semi-retirement, you know, I still do a little real estate every now and then and still try to connect with friends and clients the best way that I can. But that brings me to this course topic, which is about the relationship economy. Now it's a course that I, I gotta will go up and I was thinking, you know, we've all been in lockdown and confinement for the past year or so of us 20 years. And that's a lot in the past. We took it for granted that we could contact and sit face faced with our family, our friends, clients, it was easy to communicate, beat in a cafe or restaurant. But with the lockdown, I think those relationships can have a little cut and a little bit more difficult to manage. And it wasn't because we didn't have the technology to communicate. We've got that, we've got the teleconferencing and all those opportunities to call and see people. And we'd be on our phones. I mean, we've got all that. But it was mental it was a mental blockage, which is just now that we've reached that point. And so at it and struggling to try to re-enter the world now that things are starting to open up a little bit. In the US and also here in France, have come to realize some of my relationships have in fact suffered at my own doing because I was so busy concentrating on my own well being and just concentrating on just trying to survive this whole isolation can find that thing that, you know, it took a lot of things for granted. You may have done the same thing. So I wanted to create this course to let you know that, yeah, a lot of us are sitting around here, this cave mentality, you know, we've been forced to work from home. We've been forced to do things that maybe you didn't want to do. We've been forced to have our kids around us all the time. And it's just distracted us from staying on course where we were in life a year ago, two years ago. You know, rho a movement's sake, Brian, and read by communicating with our family, friends, everybody. And so now we've got two, and I'm going to use a term that I use in real estate, but I'm a real estate broker and we know this new homes versus sales versus ground Asians. We got a renovate our life. I mean, that's how dramatic it is. We got to renovate how we communicate. We got to completely redo this because it's time to come on at his cave we've been in. Some of us are still kinda skate and we may not have admitted it. And therefore, good habits actually sleep it and just, you know, sleep in more than DO mall and just, you know, that the country is OK, but why am I not going out more? Why am I not communicating more? You may be in the shape. And so I had this map out of it because guess what? The world is now Turkey and it's moving open, it's growing. So we have got to get back on board. So there's, this model is new model that I've been reading about and researching called the relationship economy and a barren and this is something that happened while we were asleep, but we've always known how important relationships and loyalty and friendships are just essential to growing is people. But we've let that ball drop a little bit during this pandemic and they're in a situation where we've hunkered down and was almost like we were just in survival mode, just trying to survive today, survive jobs and five every day we went into survival mode and some of us are still sitting there. In survival mode. I'm going to pay his time and break out a little bit. I just did it myself. I didn't know what it would take until I started actually doing the work. And I'm like, I'm strong, I'm the strong person up in a business or 30 plus years, you know. But whew, this thing is me just stopped dead in my tracks and now I've got a reset or redefined and Afghan a renovate my mind and how I communicate. So this course, I'm going to share with you what I've done, what I've done to break that cycle of not behaving like IBM people with my communication. I mean, some companies, some brands, some people survive this last year, two years, and they did it through the relationships they already had and they maintain those relationships. And so that loyalty stuck around. We got to do the same thing. If you didn't maintain, you've got to now jump start that baby. And I'm here to tell you what this course, I'm going to just give you some ideas. You can write me during, after the course whenever you want. If you need further support, further encouragement, further bone. And basically we're kind of all in this together. That's what community is, and that's what this course is about. So, welcome to this communication course, business and personal communication. And I hope you take a few things away. I'm sure you will. So I'm gonna grab my notes now and I will see you in the next lecture. And remember, you gotta get your bottom right because this course is all about trying to now re-established, recreate IQ and neck. Now that we're coming out of this hole, not bound situation, the pandemic is due to the virus year. I don't think it's going to go away anytime soon. So we have figured out a way to work with what we've got and renovate our mindset and our relationships in this newly revised economy and life. So, see you in the next lecture. 2. Defining "The Relationship Economy": Let's do some unseen and welcome back to Lecture 2. And I've got my notes and I'm ready to begin. So here we are. Who you are. We're trying to figure out our way back into society itself, functioning level. Some of us have been forced to work from home. Some of us have enjoyed working from home. Some of us are now returning to work. Some of our personal relationships as well as their business relationships have suffered. How are we going to reconnect, rebuild, and essentially renovate our mindset so that we can move forward from here. Okay, that's what this course is about. So in this lecture, very simply give you some basic thoughts on defining what that means the relationship became, okay. And a relationship is based on what? You can think about this as I'm talking. Your relationships where there's with family members, business associates, even new strangers that you meet. What is that based on? That relationship is going to ultimately be based on trust. It's going to be based on trust. It's going to be based on consistency. It's going to be based on authenticity. You know, people can see through when it's not the real thing. Okay? So that term, relationship economy, you know, that sounds very lofty and like, Ooh, how did we get from here to there? It's not lofty. It's something you've known all alone. All that IS they alone. Okay. I have been in the cave. It's something you've known all along. Wow. Alone but you get what I'm saying. Yeah. My mind is just shy of a ship that the fade die because X2 wars, because we've got to think differently. And so all along, you know, think about the relationship you had two years ago, a year and a half ago, whether they are a new or already apis. Now think about where they are today, where those relationships based on loyalty, trust, authenticity. Did you lose some relationships during this last year? Two years? I did, too. Not sure why. But I just I I guess I just didn't stay in touch. You know, now they weren't personal relationships. Everybody that I have a personal relationship, whether it's my children, my mom, my sister, my best friends, everybody was on the same base. We were all just drive it, survive. And then when we would think about it, we need to call. Whereas B bar or the contact was more fluid, it was easy to jump in the car and get together. It was easy to communicate then what you do and I'll see you in a few minutes. Bizarre that we've got technology available and ready for us to use for communicating. And then what do we do? We don't use it when we need it most. We then used the technology. Some of us did, some of us great with it. I mean, it became the lifeline. And so as a result, guess what? You're probably embedded shape. Then a lot of other people, because you use that lifeline at technology was sitting there. You've got the mobile phone, you've got the teleconferencing capabilities. You're able to call every day, see people try to connect that through this, through this screen to this film uptake balance sheet until you can get your hands back on you or your family or your clients or whoever it is that you were trying to stay in touch with. And so if you were one of those consistent people, you maintain your behaviors that you had previously before all this isolation before, all this confinement before all it's locked down, then you're in great shape. Your renovation is not such a stretch. But if you were like millions and millions of people who were functioning adults before this whole thing. And then turn into these lumps of goal during this year, year and a half. And then let our emotional well-being, physical, well-being, mental well-being go. You know, sometimes we didn't have control of our financial well-being, economy took care of that, you know, in this situation. But if you were so focused on all of that, yes. We dropped the bomb on the communication. So relationship and counting when you hear that term, if you Google it, when you read about it, the simple definition for that is just, you know, loyalty relationships built on loyalty, built on community, built on trust. You know, these social media websites, they age as boomed. Hello, did the last year? Two years? Because we were all looking for something. We were all looking for somebody to talk, to. Look at it. You were looking at it literally closely. You were drawn to perhaps new groups on social media that's shared your same interests, relationships. Sara shared your same thought process, relationships when you wrote them in your instant messages and you take them, they respond and they built the sense of Lords that you could count on, you could reach out to, they could have been strangers. But you do developed a relationship the outside of your normal. They the day. We have to, again, like if they only the strong survive, we had to survive. So maybe unbeknownst to you, you have built and developed a relationship economy in your own way. Now, countries are opening tab and go back to work or not. Time to work differently or that time that communicate differently or not. But at the end of the day, defining the relationship because enemy, you already know what it is. You've been pulled on it threads for the last year, year and a 2.5 years, you have created a community, you've created Joe's circle. My daughter, early on. She said, I got my COVID circle. That became a term thing about we'd never talk like that a couple of years before. Your COVID circle, your bubble. Those are all terms that are the same thing. Your relationship, economy, people that you can trust, people that are loyal to you, people you have confidence in. They're going to stick with you. Whether it's personal or whether it's in business, they're going to stick with you. That's your bubble, That's your circle, that's your relationship economy. So in the next lectures, if you have dropped the ball on your bubble, your circle, your loyalty group, it's time to reestablish. So the next few lectures, I'm simply going to be giving you ideas and ways in which you can do that. And then you can take it from there. You can use one and you can use all up abuse and all of them because I want to get back on my feet quickly so that I can re-establish the life that I kind of want. Sn2. It's still there. It's just buried under beer, a change and just getting these curve balls thrown at you. Well, that hasn't done. That done. So come on, let's get on board. Unless get busy. See you in the next lecture. 3. Part I · Connection: Welcome back. It's Thomas, sienna and Bart one. Let's just jump right into it. This is where I started. So that's what I'm trying to do is share what I did. I started with the basics connection. You know, after I talked myself out of getting out of the cave mentality, time to start trying to bring some sense of normalcy back into my line, reentering relationships that I had before that I kind of stayed in touch with. It's now time for me to connect. It's the connection. I'm gonna let go of a fear I got let go that anxiety. I know a lot of people don't want to admit that. Let me look at me and here I am this MBA, this who I'm so cool, you know, Oh, I had this great life and yes, I've established myself at a certain level, but guess what? I got the same bears at a desire that you have with trying to now bringing yourself back and not just back, but roaring back. I'm not gone up but just coming back now it's too late for that. I gotta come roaring back. And in order to do that, I have to take a, an approach that's going to work. So when I started doing and I'm going to read my notes to you. Okay. I started communicating one by one by one. In my old school, we called it Rolodex and allow young people out there. Don't know what a Rolodex please. But that was that whole physical piece of paper where you wrote people's names, addresses, telephone, email down, and you went through the Rolodex and you call. Now, you just got your contact. My Mac Air contexts. And I got a lot. I got 2900 contexts in Contact folder. And guess what? Every day I am writing anywhere between 25 and 50 people in my contact list. And this is not just business, this is merge them all. And I am waking up every morning. I have my routine, you've got chores. This course is about burring and you bet. Cap, back on your routine. Mine is I go I always go straight and I make my coffee. I mean, I'm in France after all and you know, we got great garbage. But even before then, routine. But 30-something years, I make my coffee, steam, my milk, put in my sugar in there or honey. And I would sit and read my emails and read my mail on the new service. Respond to emails. And I would kill tabs, look at it. Pitches are real estate. That was my routine. I got out of that. That's why I don't know my mom wasn't there anymore. Well, I'll reestablishing my own routines, but as part of that oh, routine, I am now writing 25 to 50 people a day. What am I writing them? Personal stuff. Even if it's a business relationship, I will not go right to about business. Everybody is struggling, trying to come. I want to re-establish myself with you and who we were before. Everybody dropped the ball on communicating. So that's what I do. And that's what I want to leave you with just in this Part 1, Connect, come up with some kind of system. And it's that easy, but I'm not writing a dissertation. I will not write in three or four paragraphs to everybody. I just don't I'm not there, I'm not there where I want to write like that. But I will write in my subject line, hi, Just checking in with you. Hi, touching things. And then in the body just wanted to see how everything's moving forward, still working from home. You don't want to reconnect when you have a chance, Let's talk. You know, thoughts be with you in the family. Best regards. It is a deeper connection. Warmers regard Thomas Sina, taken one minute on each email. So if I spin 25 minutes, that's 25 emails. If I spend 60 minutes, that's 60 email. So I'm not talking all day to you, but I'm talking about go through your contact list. Okay. Everybody re-establish and then renovate the relationship if you'd be two from there. So that's what I want to leave you with part 1. Get out of that comfort zone, that she is not able to comfort zone is the zone of fear but get out of that zone and that anxiety, time to branch out, time to become who you were before lockdown, before confine it, before you were forced to work from home before you were forced not to have those social relationships in your office, in your home with your friends and go down your contact list. Some of you may have 10000 names. You've got your work cut out for me. I got a couple of thousand Ahmad. And if my day is going especially well, I can do one a minute so I can do two hours where? A 121 day. It sounds like a lot, but it's not. And guess what? It's important. If you want to get Joe light back to where it was before, is important. And you are going to reap the benefits of communicating like this with the people in your life personally is as wise or new relationships. So there you go. See you next lecture. 4. Part II · Consistency: Hi, I'm done with Sina and welcome to part 2. And we're going to talk about consistency. Now, once you've gone through your contact list, personal list, your Christmas list, your business. I don't care what lists you're working with. You're trying to reconnect, renovate these relationships. And I just recommend that everybody is not at the same place that you are, but a lot of us longer. So you're writing people who are dealing with that fear of now re-establishing their life after a year, two years of lockdown, confinement, isolation. So you dealing with stress and you're dealing with anxiety. So what do you think your message should be? Your message should be something, something genuine, truthful, and joyful. Don't I don't know. It was your life on the person that you're writing. You don't all come in there with that subject line talking about how the goal with you, wow, this has been a rough for me as well, which I did do is establish a relationship. You've got to bring positivity. And it can't be a one-shot deal. You that have varying consistency. How about that? Once you through your complete tech list, you gotta bring that same consistent message back and you can cope with the timeframe. It's your time frame. I think it's nice to write, you know, once a month business relationships, more for the personal relationships, but always on a very upbeat note, don't bring your trauma to your communication. That's not the route you're trying to re-establish. Always assume the person on the other end is looking for something real, something true, something authentic. They're stressing, you know, you never know what's going on behind closed doors. Here in France, they have the same gem into Q&A, daddy and a point, you never know what's going on behind that door. And so your writing needs to bring that level of communication. Even if it's a business relationship, everybody's got badly, or children, or friends or parents, they're concerned about or just life. So even if you're writing a business relationship, let your message be consistent, consistently positive, consistently. Up, joy is if you don't want anything at all about the person target on that. No, they love to ski talk about that. Oh, isn't it nice to finally coming out of this situation, you can get back to plan in that next ski trip elevate. Oh, hey, just thought I'd touch base with you. It'll be so nice when our restaurants are opening up again. Maybe we can meet for coffee. When you're comfortable. I'm still wearing my mass. We can sit outside. Be below. Let me know you're struggling. That's not a weakness. That's a strength. Let people know how you're feeling, but be consistent in thought and usually don't go left one time and then write the other. Be consistent with the thoughts, correspondence in your fields, whether it's with your personal relationships, business relationships that you're trying to renovate the painter, restore in the Connect. See you in the next lecture. 5. Part III · Contact: So I'm gonna see you then. Thank you again for joining me. Okay. So we've talked about consistency. We've talked about the connection. Yeah, we want to talk at them. The content. Want to read some words to you. Vulnerable, wounded, stress, struggling, rough time, then hit. If that incredible, that that's what we're feeling. So if you're writing something, you want to own voice, bringing more of that to your communication. When you contexts someone. That's what this lecture is about. Three, contact. You don't want to ask a lot of questions to make people have to respond with his long response. As a gone, what did you and your family up to am an error from you and a longtime update me when you gave her out try and are right. That kind of letter till you try. They did back on track with their life. And I laugh a little bit when I say it because it's kind of sad. But that's the mindset where we are, right? That reaches all at all. You want to be that person that doesn't come across as so they know, throttling, vulnerable, wounded, stressful. You want to bring something to that email or if you're old school and you're writing, you want to bring something to that compensated. Don't ask a lot of questions that require a response. Just give definitive, hey, touching base with you. So happy we're coming out of what we've all been through greatly looking forward to seeing you soon. Give my regards to all. If it's a business relationship, you can talk about the business. Boy, I haven't the industry changed in the last year, two years. I'm excited about the opportunities to retool some of the things and projects we'd started to gather. Closed-ended. You're letting them know, you're thinking about them, thinking about the Palmer relationship. You're thinking about the future. All positives, all positives. So for this lecture, That's all I want to leave you with when you make your contacts and your connections, remember, you are writing people who are vulnerable, stressed, anxious. Not all, but most, bring something to them that they can hold onto two. And guess what? They're going to turn around and latch onto you. And guess what you're going to end up doing. Establishing that new community, establishing that loyalty. You are now going to be that person they know they can write to because you go to always be bring that no matter what's happening in your life, you might be stressed and then struggling. Room do invulnerable. Happy, maybe you this time the tap that down now. You can wallow in that. I say that from a voice of experience, they don't allow healing to beat up behind this whole thing. But you got to be that voice that now is coming out and saying, all things are possible. Who hasn't the god Hapi been read of mine? Oh boy, yeah, relationships have been realigned. I'm looking forward to the opportunity that had been presented to us during this time. There you go. That's how I want you to connect. Write me if you need help structuring those short contexts. Remember, not two or three or four paragraphs. That's too much for people to have to sit and read. Just a nice subject line on that e-mail and 234 sentences. And in south, There you go. See you in the next lecture. 6. Part IV · Communication: I'm a senior and thank you again for joining me on this ethic communications course. Just bringing ourselves back into the folds I have to have is crazy, unbelievable. Still going on. Lockdown, isolation and confined it. We talked about consistency in message. We talked about the optimism you want to bring as you start establishing and re-establishing your personal and your business relationships. We talked about contact. You wanna keep your message simple. To be positive. No questions, closed-ended sentences, so that people can read it, absorb it, being put into bed and think, Well, isn't that nice? What's next? Now some other ideas but communication. What does, what do you think are some of the best things you can write a company, especially one that you know. At this point, I don't know if you're trying to develop new business or not, or if you're trying to do to start new relationships and that I'm talking about taking those folks that you already know that are in your contact list and leave friend's business. And now reconnecting, showing that loyalty, showing me carrying UK are the number one thing you can ask about clearly, not even asking them, remember no questions. You can write about clearly. It's family, right? About your family. You can write about things that you're looking forward to doing. Those people who every now and then you'll be and having a conversation with them as like pulling IT and they sit there, they look at you and you're the only one carrying the conversation. It is absolutely exhausting. Less the same. Now, with your writing, you don't want to be that person who just draining people with just bringing in nothing to the table. You don't want to be that person who has nothing to say, but you also don't want to be that person that's demanding responses from people. So it's a balance. It surely is that you want to focus on your bubble and you want to focus on your circle. And you want to focus on getting back to normal as quick as you possibly can. And for a lot of us, that's tied to our business and personal lives, our social lives. Where a digital economy, we got that. We're a digital world is easy. The lamp is my 35-year-old son told me I'm 64 and in turn, lamp, what does that mean? He says it means that you're sitting back, relax and the lamp and I was like, Oh, so an inanimate object like That lamp badly lapping. Okay. So you don't want all I have. A quick your relationships. You don't want to be that inanimate object that's draining on other people. You want to bring that communication upbeat, uplifting, positive. Let me check my notes. Okay. All right. Yeah. Ask me about things that are going on in their city. They gonna respond again questions, I don't want that your first round of reconnection, reconnecting with your contact list. Again, make those all closed in sentences. The second time or even the third time. Closed. And communication, statements, updates. Id is excitement. And by that third time or fourth time that you're communicating, slip in. A little bit of question. How's the family? Now it's gone on to that third month. I'm assuming you writing 12 them up. You know, any plans for upcoming new projects that I can help you with, that you can ask a little bit more, not a punch list that ten questions in one correspondence. And that's just not happening mentally. People can't even get there. Right now. We're good at wanted to questions that were functioning just a bad level. Some of you out there, maybe your appointment at a higher level. This course is targeted to those folks who are trying to get back a little bit of their lives that they lost or this isolation and confinement. That's what this course is about that so it's fall. So I like Box hummingbirds and you're already back on track. Yeah, he might take a little bit from this. But if you're like most of us who are now crawling, just try and a claw your way back to do to really own bits and parts of your life. And that's what this course is for self and this lecture, Yeah, It communication. How are you respond to what happens when that person response back to you? Oh, yeah. Some of these folks you're writing they're going to write you back. They've come out of the cave to they're going to write you back. How are you going to respond? You want to respond directly to the things that they're asking. Because what you see in that email, that correspondence, that's what's in their heart. That's what's bringing them out. So don't get distracted and start moving on to another subject. Focus on what they wrote. You bank. Don't add to it. Focused on it. That lets me know you heard me. I was important. My words meant something. Then you responded to my words. You didn't talk over my head and ignore what I was drawing this thing. Now, you're re-establishing your relationship. Economy. I pay it because that's currency. That's why they use that word relationship. Economy. We all know an economy is associated with revenue or profit and loss. Gross National Product, all economic terms. Why would you use the word economy with relationships? Because relationships is a form of currency. It's an emotional currency, it's a mental currency. That's what a relationship is. If you are the lush with relationships, you are lush with a currency that money can't ban. So when someone writes you back after you've written them, statements, not questions, right. Pin bank directly with responses to what they have written. Okay. That's what I want to leave you with on the communications. And as you can see this course, it's not complicated. But, you know, something in my heart made me want to create this course because I'm going through the same thing and I thought, Hey, many Wheaton this together because it's working for me. I find my inbox is filling up as that go through my process of trying to now get that relationship currency backward was before confinement, isolation, despair, vulnerability, anxiety, and fair, crazy, right? So there you go. Communicate well. Show a person you've been loyal to them. Show a person you hear that. I'm sure IT person you respect what they're asking and telling you and your correspondence. And you will find that relationship, all of a sudden it grows and it grows in the right direction. See you in the next lecture. 7. Part V · Channels: Let's tell Messina. And before we go into this lecture about channels, I just want to say one thing about communication. If your life is so I want to say hectic, but I don't know anybody like who's quite hectic get we're still kinda coming out on this thing with lockdown confinement and people are gradually going back to work. Some of us are vaccinated. Some of us are not vaccinated to yes. Done. Because I want to try to start traveling a little bit more and do a little bit more things. But speaking of communication, remember, what if there's someone else on the other side of this that's writing, you dare trying to do the same thing, come out of their bumble and reconnect. They are trying to reestablish. If someone writes, you, don't leave them dead on the land. With the email or the written correspondence with the e-mail. Even if you don't do anything other than grab one of those icons, a Smiley face or a flower. Maybe you have been a stressful day. Maybe your stressful and vulnerable and isolated, exhausted, and drain and you don't feel like Don't let that correspondence drop. Let that person know. You can add it. So even if you don't write a line, just grab icon. Use musical notes. Sometimes I use this small flower and I'm appealing. Sometimes I don't feel like writing. But if I know the person who's written me, one of my best friends in Northern Virginia in the United States, you're Washington. She'll write me and show me going on about products that she's working on. And I'm just, you know, Well, before I just mentioned it can't respond to four paragraphs. In the subject line. I will erase the subject line. I will grab a little flower and drop it in the subject line and I hit thin. She knows I got her message. I didn't respond to anything. She say it because I wasn't mentally through there. I just wasn't up for it. But they knew UK it enough to respond. So I just want a little bit to the communication piece. Now, granted, it's better to respond with a one or two lines. But if this is a personal course buttons and you know, this person, use the subject line, make that joke best brand, just throw it Icon the expresses how you feel it that day. But I never spoke said, you know, tiers 0 unless the news is that traumatic. Know, I don't use those icons. I use flowers, I use PRT. I use musical notes. Sometimes I use an airplane. Draw my son writes me, I use a airplane as a response. He gets it. I'm ready to try out, you know, so I tailor it to whoever I'm writing. Yeah, So just wanted to add that. So now we're talking about channels. And what do you think that means? What are channels? They call social media? And obviously we already been od on social media. So you don't need to do a whole lot more of that. You've already joined groups on different social media channels. You've already been like kinesin and sand. This is sand that it's all very anonymous is all very at home in the pajamas and you're connecting to communities. You know, that's the safe bit, channels over CEP bit. But you need to let your people know you are coming out of the cave. You need to start making posts that let people know you are coming out of the cave. Social media is great for introverts. For extra extroverts, yeah, they go on at it hard. For introverts, it's safe. It's a whole, another bubble. This course is about bringing you out of that isolation that we'd been in for a year two because at some point you got to walk up that front door. And I know I'm talking to a lot of you. And I say that with a lot of human not trying to walk off that front, know that's, it's like the Stockholm Central term and talk about where the person in prison, the cap, the captured person becomes enamored with the captor, you know, the person who was holding them hostage as the Stockholm Syndrome. I feel like a lot of us are suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome. We have fallen in love. With being in confinement, we are asked to our current situation. And so our behaviors are mirroring the same as if a person's being held hostage against their will, but they have fallen in love with their capture. Do that. That's not a good mental place to be, but it's an easy place to fall into. So yes, you want to communicate and continue to communicate and connect and grow your relationship economy on your social media. But it's time to change our message. Don't be the one. Send a bummer out there. Nobody wants to do business with a bummer. Nobody, nobody wants to have a relationship with somebody who was always a bummer, who's always bring in the heavy stuff. Now I know the heavy stuff as part of a like it is. But do we really need to read about it, everything. Do we really need to absorb your trauma? Trauma. All of a sudden give played is at, with trauma. But no, this is all about, you know, the whole mental health. It's time to emerge from the bubble. And we do that in little steps. And that's through communicating and creating loyalty and creating a safe place and creating trust with people that are already in our contact list with people who we had just started relationships with before. This whole coronavirus and pandemic lockdown and just totally it's like a tsunami. It is white that our lives. So yeah, social media is cool. It's essential. Anybody not doing social media. And I know we're living under a rock, if you're not involved with it at some level, doesn't have to be all channels or platforms. But if you're going to use it, now's the time to re-establish yourself as that person who is emerging. You are emerging and communicating well on your social media. You are not bringing trauma and turmoil. You are not bringing negativity and down. You are not bringing fear and anxiety. You are bringing hope and ambition. You are writing about opportunities and growth. You are helping people find a way out indirectly through your words, through your correspondence, through your emojis, you are helping people find a way out. You may not know that, but it's true. So in terms of social media and channels, think about what you're posting, you're writing your clients are seeing your personal relationships, are seeing you or your family or seeing you. And they are drawing a picture based on what you're posting. And if you're constantly posting fear and vulnerability and anxiety, pain that when asked what you feel it, take that off there. It's time to get rid of the Stockholm Syndrome. It's time to stop loving your capture, which is isolation and confinement. It's time we find our way out. See you in the next course. 8. Part VI · Change: It sounds seen that. And for this lecture, we're going to talk a little bit about change. You've changed, I changed the overall shapes. So there's no denying it. There's no trying to pretend that you can get back to what you had before. So as corny as it sounds, you got embrace change. And some of us, we are resistant to change. But you know, the dinosaur thought the same thing. He won on chain needed when the last time you've seen a dinosaur. Yet gotta change. We gotta now at death. And as humans, that's supposed to be ArcBest rights. Add that Dacian to news that two aces, remember, that's who we are. We're the adaptation K1s and goings of the laurel. So use that to your advantage. And as you begin to grow with your communications and your relationships, okay? And as you begin to compete, create that way, that loyalty, that trust, that truth, that authenticity, that reassurance that the person gets that they know when they write you, you're going to write back quake. You acknowledge them, you validate them. That may not even have been used before confinement, in isolation and locked down. But it needs to be you now because you're going to be a standout. Lot of people still ever reach that point. I mean, you can look around, just look within your immediate people. You can see it. A lot of people are struggling. Lot of people keeping it. Oh, I can't wait to get my life back that's gone. Took me a while to stop talking like that. Because, you know, the things you say the MRS is you'd say it was a message. The message is you absorb, pluck him, wait to get back to the way things were. Things were never going to be the weighting for that's done. Everything's changed. You know that everything's changed. So get that message out in your head. Can't wait to things get back to normal. Normal is done. I don't even know we were normal before, but we're certainly not knowable now. So get that out of your hand and take on, you know, it's almost like be, you know, Christopher Columbus, you know, or you know, the, being pioneers of the Oregon Trail from the beginning. I mean, we're having to truly blaze new territory. This dramatic, but that's how I'm talking to myself now. That's thought to myself in the mirror with a steaming hot coffee, I am blazing new debt or is that everything at thought was right? And just and everything. I thought the way I did business, the way I am, my relationships, I am leaning to redefine everything, how I communicate, who I communicate with. Constantly paying attention to my words, paying addition to mop vulnerabilities not be Here's my anxieties and making sure that they're not translate it all to you. That's a new way of thinking. And we got a debt to that. Okay, So for this lecture, we just want to make sure that we always are thinking about that person that we're writing, that person that we're trying to reconnect with, that person that we're trying to communicate with. The more we communicate with them, the more we learn about them. You may have known. I ends up things about a personal or business relationship before that, guess let this last year two new things that come up. You got to reintroduce, reintroduce yourself, to your family, to your friends, to your clients. You've got to reestablish trust thing in thinking about all the stuff you ran the last couple of years, how families fighting, some were vaccinated, some not some came to a party not vaccinated. Some infected somebody, somebody, you know, cause trauma and the fan which they go they weren't. That's the look at that. Since we've never had before. So not only are you going to be communicating and changing your your way of thinking, your way of bringing what you'd need to bring to a situation. You are going to be that person that people look forward to hearing from you because they know you always come in on the road. You always going to be bringing into positive you that I'll put more on their plate. That plate is a very stacked die with what? Vulnerability on the monomial Luke, vulnerability, fear, anxiety. Yeah, maybe loneliness. Maybe they still an isolation here, still a hostage to their situation. And they go and look forward to hearing from you. And little by little they going to cry and I shall and join you in your bubble and join you in your circle and be part of your relationship with business leaders. Know this already. Thinking about all the brands that have held on to their clients through this pandemic because they knew they had already at Amherst relationships, established loyalty, and then they turn around and did things that made you feel good, that feel better. Feel like you were part of the community. Feel like they wanted you to be there. Now that's what you've gotta do. Not just on a business level, on a personal level 2, we've gotta feel like you want them to see you in the next lecture. 9. Part VII · Concern: Packets Thomas seen as Shelley. And thank you again for joining me. Let's move on to this lecture, which is about concern. Okay, So now here we go. Cern, empathy, understanding authenticity in wanting to know what's going on. Do you have any emotional capacity with that? And I say that truly from the bottom of my heart. There are a lot of us who do not have the capacity to show that level of authentic empathy. It is an art form, it is a skill. If you were not born with it, people can see through the fraud. So if you are trying to show empathy and concern for people or business associates that you are trying to establish. Publish your relationship, your relationship becoming go bubble your circle. Be careful when you are trying to exhibit empathy and concern. It's not easy. Unless like I said, you could just born and wired that way. That's all I want is that for that one, I can't teach you or train you on how to be empathetic and show concern in a genuine and authentic way. That's something you got to feel deep down inside. When you're asking a person something bursts at all about how they feel or how they're handling things, and then they come at you, follow along with everything. Now what's going to be your response? A Smiley face in the subject line of face with tears flowing in this subject line, a hand showing the prayer and the Southern. That's your response to empathy, to show empathy and concern. Now, you gotta be equipped. You're going to be equipped to be able to respond when somebody brings something that hidden to you. So that's another course with another professor for another day. But I wanted to put that in here just so that, you know, that is a component of re-establishing and redeveloping and reconnecting and renovating. You'll relationship the economy as you've come out of this isolation and confinement. Obviously there are people that are just there, but they're going to need it to be. I'm going to need someone that shows some concern. And Uganda to be able to do that in a way that it's genuine, but also in a way that you doesn't affect you at all, become this personal shrink in this relationship. That's not what you're trying to do. That's going to take you back to the place that you are. And you're trying to move out of this cave, you're trying to get back to is no such thing now, but business as usual. And even though your R&D binding your business as usual, It's still going to be your new and improved and renovated business as usual with your relationship and your circle. Okay. See you in the next lecture. 10. Part VIII · Control: Hi, welcome back. And in this lecture we're going to talk about control at the sentence negative, doesn't it? And I have to let back go. Think about it before all this confinement stuff and before all of this isolation stuff and pandemic stuff, we all were marching around it. Like we control our universe. We control everything that was brought to us. You know, we control our workspace. We control the people we work. We controlled generating problems. We can troll growing new relationships. We control everything. All of a sudden. We're not back down South in Alabama with I'm not back. And you douse the EU control. Nothing. This is about options. Control has now turned into flexibility. The most flexible people shall inherit control. That's just Thomas Dana talking. The most flexible people will be the papal who control the most options. That's what I've found to be true. Now one of the reasons I created this course is because I wanted to share a lot of the things that have worked for me as I emerged from my cave, that isolation. Okay. And my biggest asset, I have somehow mentally and tested to, you know, Taba thing. Never traditionally been super flexible. I create a plan. I implemented my plan. I mean, 37 years ago, I said, Oh, remote work, one day I'm going to retire, semi-retirement. It's up. I asked was going to work. I'm going to say mom, I wouldn't do hit 0, that whole control bank bringing everything to you, gotta do everything. And that's exactly what I did at OU. I'm not going to wait till I'm 66.6. And so the federal government tell me I need to do to get less social security, retire at 60. And that's what I had data pack everything up, so mouse down and built man. So my car and what my stuff and stars and move to the south. Those were my goals. Those are my dreams that became my reality. This is how we use debate before this pandemic before is 0 confinement in isolation and just get knocked down. We use the set those dreams and goals and turn them into reality. Well, now here we are. Okay. Now that thing that above the route out the fan, you know, where is that? I've said that was this dual use and go and now vulnerable, anxious, scared, some people depressed. So we got mentally not about again. Okay. Now you gotta get that bank and you're going to get it through relationships. You can't do it by yourself. That's been tried and true and failed over and over and over again. Yeah. Need your relationships, you need your personal relationships, you need to business, but maybe it's just, you need just so awesome and relationships. If one thing has come out of this whole coronavirus pandemic, can-do not Lin where mass can go nowhere. Casey, nobody in the last two years is that people made people. So if you didn't know it before, you certainly know it now. Not seeing your friends and not seeing your grandparents, not seeing your family, not seeing your coworkers. If you didn't know it before, you know it. Now, relationships will sustain you. Relationships will fail the view, but also selects the ability in thought and d, creating options that you never envisioned. Creating opportunities that chit didn't really think about before. I'm just doing this like that. Remember when you were little and you get that Plato and you can just squash that stuff and then shape it however you want and you put it back into box and go back and make things a little dragged. You have low water to extend, you squash it again. That Plato was flexible. You can do whatever you bought it too, would play them. That's your life now. Play though. You've got to put a little water on S. Becker and reshape and figure it out and get yourself out of this cave mentality and this Stockholm hostage situations. We have found herself in and re-established and reconnect and get your relationship economy going here, relationship currency, you gotta grow and grow and grow and you will find strength in that. But you have no longer the control that you thought you had it before. Do you have to be flexible and creative options? And you must do the same with the people around you when you're communicating with your contact list. Give them options on how to communicate with you. Stay flexible on new projects and things that you want to work with. Be open and engaging. I think you're getting this now, right? We have to redefine everything at this point. But I save this for the end because flexibility has saved my life. I was so rigid. It was written that keyless COVID and the pandemic, not that up the Bucks. So done with trying to control everything, loud things for lost. During this pandemic. Lot of relationships and family, friends. Get rid of that. Control is done. Stay flexible on the things that matter to you. Be authentic, be true. Give yourself options, give yourself some grains. But learn how to connect and be read and grow your relationship become. Okay. See you next time. 11. Part IX · Continuation: Welcome back. It's Thomas scena in the title of this lecture is a continuation. But before I begin, I just want to stay. Lecture on flexibility. Control was all emotional for me. But I didn't want to stop recording because I just wanted you to get a sense that we all need to call ourselves a break. And as you make this journey on redefining your relationships, trying to get your life back on track, trying to reestablish for business. Does your family relationships, human decency, economy, your currency, what you had before. It's not easy. But I wanted to let you know that being flexible has in fact been a significant key from me to re-establish, randomly. Read, look things differently. That's all I wanted to convey. And down, I almost stop recording. And then I was making that last lesson lecture. Then I realize, no, everybody is. And everybody, he's anxious about everything that's going on. So I just wanted to let you know that. Let's continue. And ironically, this lecture is about and encourage. And that's what I want to leave you with. As you continue to, whether it's a struggle, that's your word, to come out of that cave, to get ahead and ask the situation to continue to re-evaluate and reconnect and renovate your business and personal relationships. Just remember, optimism and enthusiasm along with flexibility, will in fact light your path. So make sure your messages to the people that you're talking to. Whether it's on the phone, whether it's teleconference, whether it's email, whether it's old-school letter. Make sure it's a message of optimism, hope, Fuzi, ASM. These are not easy times and they're not going to be easy for a long time. But I am so happy I can see my cuvette out of that nato cave because we've all been in it. You may still be in it, but I need you to write me if you are, because we come out of that together. And I love creating this content and sharing what works with me. You can see by my file the things that I've done. I'm a mom and daughters, 32 married, living in Los Angeles. But there has been, you know, my son is 35, living in New York now he's in France, in Paris working on projects. They both had totally different careers with this thing started, but they continue to look for opportunities. They became extremely flexible. And now both of them are entrepreneurs. My daughter is a music pulsar, or film and television shows, HBO, Netflix all is big television shows and just incredible, staying flexible, optimistic Ecclesiastes stick. My son. Technology. Let being a consultant now he owns a sports television network. And the reason he's living here in Paris nouns because one of the biggest soccer teams in the world has, he's taken them on as a client, flexibility options. He was willing to leave New York and moved to Paris. That's not some are living in Paris, leaving someplace. You've been 35 years of your life to take on a client not knowing what's going to happen. That's flexibility. And my children were just like me or gel-like you. We had our lives on luck prior to this. And now we're all going to be flexible and gives lead. Our lives are now starting to blossom. Will always still have those memories and those moments of, of what this come pandemic and COVID has done to people in ANSYS is destroyed labs and all this other stuff that can just bring you down. It's so heavy, it could just, but just bring you down. So I need for you in this lecture, I'm going to leave you with optimism. Hope, Susie ASM, it is indeed contagious. And when your mind is clear and your mind is free and happy and optimistic and flexible, all of a sudden, options present themselves to you and you're like, wow, now this is the route that I'm taking and I am done with trying to control every step a bottleneck because this pandemic and this lockdown has taught me that is better to be flexible and have the proper and genuine conversations with the people you need to happen with. Business and professional and personal. And you will find yourself moving out of that cave that you've been locked into. And discovering new ways, new ways to live, new ways to work, new ways to be, new ways to communicate, new ways to connect. You've got to stop hiding behind social media because things are opening. And now you can bring that optimism and a doozy acid face to face again like you did before. That's what this course was all that. I wanted to bring a little bit of my life and what I'm doing in ways that I have emerged from this pole. Lockdown confinement, isolation situation that has made us rethink not just our communication and our professions and our personal relationships, but our whole life. And I'm here to tell you that unlike the dinosaur was ready for a change. I don't want to be fake. So I I'm modifying how I communicate, how I how I can make. And I mean, it is just been a bone in terms of my personal satisfaction and certainly in terms of mine is this. So I'll leave you with that and optimism, hope Feizi as lock it in when you're communicating. Remember authenticity. Don't ask a lot of questions. Let people, you meet people where they are, you know, bring them up, elevate and you will find that your relationship economy not only grows, but it eights. I'm here to tell you. Mine is starting to do that. My son, Adam, his his already done that. And my daughter Amanda. She's now an Emmy nominated composer. So yes, flexibility, optimism, hope. It gives the ASM. They'd go see in the final lecture. 12. Summary · Communication Skills For Life · The Relationship Economy: Hi, it's Dr. Messina, and this is the summary section. The last lecture. While I'm exhausted. This course has been great creating it. But yeah, it brings everything out. Like it's supposed to. This is what it's pose to do. I wanted you to just get a sense. I mean, there's so many of us out there, we don't have anybody to talk to. And how want to target this course to those of you who just needed somebody to kind of talk, to, kind of listen to. A lot of us are in that exact same place. We're starting to merge. We're starting to dig ourselves out of this last year, two years of confinement. We're getting bag fees, were trying to go back to work. We're concerned about a lot of things. It's hard to concentrate. I mean, that's just think about that mentality, that whole hunkered down survival mentality. And now we're expected to emerge. It's not easy. So I just want you to know that if you want to ever write, you can, if you have questions on any of the lectures or need assistance or support, just to support as you move from lot bow could buy a bit too. Out of a hostage situation, out of the cave mentality to recognizing that Yao, a complete renovation of your mind and perhaps your life is required, reaching the point where you actually can accept that. That's what it's going to take to get you back to close to the way that you worry you're not going to be exactly there. But there's a good chance that it's going to be even better. That's what you want to hold onto. Optimism, that enthusiasm, that hope. When you are writing your communication to your contact list, when you're doing your social media hubs. Let that be your resounding fame. Let clients and family and friends see that you are emerging from this situation. It sounds like a war because it was war, is war. We got a war mentality go on and you know, we weren't equipped for that. How did this even happened? But it happened. And so now yeah, I'm in combat mode. I don't know about you, but I'm in combat mode and I'm okay with that. Because it means that my mom is stronger and more flexible. I am anticipating things like I never anticipated before. I think more about the times or I used to drop my guard or the times where I used to think I had everything lined up just so and it's interesting when it used to fall apart BY but I'd be like, Oh, I got to rethink, what did I do wrong? Okay, I got to change course. That wasn't a good decision. I gotta do plan a, plan B. Plan a was quick and light on my feet. This confinement, isolation, bottled beer, the beer, you know, just a exiling. It has changed everybody's way of thinking. We were all marine. Think about it. And now we've got this, were wringing our hands trying to figure out how do we move? Do we sell a house? Do we change cities? Do we change jobs? Do we get better and they didn't get vaccinated? Do we do we do we wear masks that we stay that they got us ringing. That in today. No more wringing your hands, no more trying to figure out what you're going to write, how you're gonna communicate, how you're going to keep your job, how are you going to change your jobs? What are you going to do that has, in the Stockholm situation, the Stockholm Syndrome is over. You are no longer a hostage. You are no longer confined. You have to take the opportunity to be free. And that starts here. And then how you communicate here. And then how you communicate here. And you will find that your relationships respond to what she bringing to them. And I just want you to take away from this course, please take away from this. Of course, let your communication style the bat of where you are bringing people in a situation of elevating them. Closed in comments, not bringing more, more anxiety to them. Asking a lot of precedent and strata, band out what's going on. Don't drain people that are already drain. They don't have anything left, doesn't not the left. Hilum up. Fill up your relationships with hope and positivity and good intel and optimism. Enthusiasm fell. I'm up. Learn, you know, the relationship economy as just a nice way of saying, or I guess a business way of saying, you know, that's a currency, then you can bring to your relationship and it's expensive. It's expensive is worth a lot. When you are able to develop and bring a relationship that people value they trust, their loyal to. That is, millions and millions and millions of non-denominational dollars when you have established relationships like that. So I leave you with that. And I want to thank you again for joining me in this course. And of course with all of my classes, I've never ever want to forget to invite you if you ever find yourself in France. I'm in the south of France, down MLP Lear, not Emperor vaults. I couldn't afford per bones. I'm not on the coat, is you the French Riviera? I couldn't afford that. I got a nice retirement 20 hours from pro vaults still on the coast, right on the Mediterranean. Absolutely phenomenon. Certainly less than I could live back home in the United States. And that was the plan. Will the mob dirty blood via Play? And I wanted to be able to maximize my retirement. And that's what I've done. So I actually went through this pandemic, not even in my home country. So not only was I isolated from family, friends, everything, I was in a foreign country with noble. Say, no, I hate to get busy figuring out a way out of this change were in there and how branch and now I just booked my flight back to the United States. I've got my two vaccines and I am going to be controlled 80 lock. I'm going to be prudent. I'm going to always wear that mask even with my vaccine to protect them out settled and the people around me. Tell you one thing, I'm going to be flexible. And I'm gonna be optimistic and hopeful at the enthusiastic. And I am never, ever, ever again got to think, OK, Control every tiny segment of my life. There is something like a control and there's some things I can't and I'm perfectly comfortable with that. So if you ever find yourself near where I am or even come close, please write me. You have an open invitation to visit and we can sit in a cafe or Mathcad or off if you wish, since they're no longer required. And talk and strategize and develop our relation, ship economy, and grow our currency. And our work with the people around us that we love with the people around us who support us and with our business. That's it. Have a wonderful day and thank you again for joining me.