Transcripts
1. 01 Introduction, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Hello, I'm actually glad. This is a work your word
creative writing course on Skillshare. This course is called
Beware the wordy writer. It's a supplement to my last course called
know your writer's style. This course is about reducing your word count for
concise, effective writing. Let me tell you a little
bit about myself. I've been teaching
for over 30 years and I'm now a retired high
school English teacher. I've taught from special ed all the way to advanced
placement courses. And I'm pretty comfortable
with whatever level you're at. I am writing coach
and a blogger. And also I have been an editorial columnist and
a magazine freelancer. I do private writing
coaching and I also editor for
self publishers. I also happen to be an artist, a painter of acrylic paintings. Why would you want
to take this course? This course is all about
developing your syntax, which is also simply
your sentence structure, the way you put your
words together. We utilize these solutions. For those of you who say way too many words
than necessary. You ramble your
repetitious, your verbose. These are things that
you want to clear out of your writing to make it simpler
and easier to understand. By combining sentences,
we can reduce wordiness. The more concise and succinct. We can increase our clarity, as well as gain
efficient word count when it really matters. We're going to review the four
basic sentence structures to increase your variety. Most people will use two or three of the
basic structures. Or when they get
into the fourth one, they start to ramble on and lose control
of their writing. I'm also going to teach you to effective structures to
avoid run-ons called a cumulative sentence structure
and a periodic structure. I'll see you in the next video.
2. 02 Project Overview, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Hi, welcome back. This is video to be
where the wordy writer. Now I'm just going to take a
little bit of time to give an overview of your
Skillshare project. I'll give you more specifics
of what you need for the project later in the series. But for now, you can get an idea of what will
be in store for you. In this project, you're
going to do three things. Observe, practice, and create. You will observe some
long-winded writings that I share with you, as well as my revisions
of those ratings. Then you will practice on new sentences that
are also wordy. And you'll have
an opportunity to try to revise them yourself. Finally, we'll create a new and ideally better
two-hundred word writing. You'll be given a
prompt and also be asked to try certain
sentence structures.
3. 03 Basic Sentence Structure Review, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Hello, this is video three and the b where the
wordy writer series. Now we're going to move
into something that may be old and familiar to you. But I find that most people like a review of the basic
sentence structures. It's one thing to know them. It's a whole nother
to be able to explain them and to understand
them thoroughly. So we're going to get into the
four basic structures now. Please follow along as I read. First, we have the
simple sentence. This is one subject and
one verb at a minimum, and maybe also one object that
which receives the action. We are watching Netflix, period. You have your subject, WE, your verb are watching, and your possible
object, Netflix. Next we have the
compound sentence. And this is simply two simple
sentences put together. We usually put together these two simple sentences with a comma and a conjunction, like and or yet. But sometimes we knock out the comma and a conjunction
and simply use a semicolon. You can see those examples here. We are watching Netflix comma and Sam is serving ice cream. Or you could say, we're watching
Netflix semicolon, Sam is serving ice cream. Just remember when you
get to the second one, you do not have to
capitalize this unless it's actually a name. Third is the complex sentence, and this is a dependent clause with an independent
clause that's a partial sentence with a full sentence and not a
full thought with a full box, which follows and
proceeds that clause. Here are two examples
of how you can do this. Whenever I go hunting comma, I always get my dear. You can see that this first
part before the comma is a dependent clause because it doesn't stand on its own
and it doesn't make sense. The second half is a full sentence and doesn't
necessarily have to have the dependent clause because you have your
subject and your object. Or you can switch it and do the subject verb object
comma, dependent clause. It's the same exact
sentence either way. And finally, the fourth
sentence structure is a compound-complex sentence. Obviously combining all of
the previous structures. A dependent clause
before, after, or in the middle of
a compound sentence, which is two simple
sentences together. So here are your three options. For a compound complex. You can have your
dependent clause first. Eventually, the sky will darken. That's your second sentence, and the rain will come. Your, sorry, your first sentence and
your second sentence. Or you can say the sky
will darken semicolon, eventually comma,
the rain will come. This semicolon
separates this sentence and this whole sentence, which also has a
dependent clause. Or finally, sorry, the sky will darken comma and
the rain will come. Your classic compound
sentence, comma, eventually adding a
dependent clause, making a compound complex. These are the four
structures that I want you to remember as
we move forward.
4. 04 Understanding Run ons, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Welcome back. This is video four, and now we're going
to talk about that, that thing that we do
when we create a run-on sentence or a sentence
that is way too wordy. So first we want to
understand what is a run on. The four basic structure
seems simple enough. But what happens when we add
adjectives and modifiers and prepositional phrases are
multiples of those things. Things can get tricky real fast. Run-ons are sentences
that just go on far too long and
lack of punctuation. Run-on sentences are
cumbersome and difficult. Run-ons will load up
the sentence with way more than the
sentence can hold. So if a run-on sentence is lacking
punctuation and tackling too much information inside a single compound,
complex sentence. It will leave your readers
grasp gasping for breath. I'm going to read
this sentence to you. This is a great example
of a run-on sentence. It's filled with
great information and actually really
good writing. But it just doesn't
know where to break up or when to combine
certain words. This run-on sentences
AT words long. Please follow along so that
you can note the specifics. The thunderous sky will
darken to black and eventually the cold rain will come shooting down
from the heavens, but not before the one sprite, orangey red flower shrivel under the intense heat and the hard soil turns
to an ashen gray. That leaves the
hopeless and Better Plants little choice but to curl up and fade away like
sadden husk of death, like delicate skeletons with
a mournful cry to the gods. Those deities controlling
the elements of our divine. Wow, that's a lot. And it's an interesting sentence with a lot of good information. But really it's just too much. Now I'm going to show
you the revised version of the same sentence. The original is shown here
up above with its 80 words, and down below half that many. If I read this aloud, I want you to be thinking
doesn't really cover all the same information
because that is our goal. The black thunder sky will
eventually rain down upon the already dying
has, forgive me. Flowers like hopeless has such delicate plants will have already shriveled into the sun. There mournful cries
had gone too long, unheard by the gods
of earthly elements. This is broken down to 40
words and two sentences. You can see that it is a
compound-complex sentence, as well as simple sentence with a couple of
prepositional phrases.
5. 05 Lengthy Sentences That Work, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Hello, welcome back. This is video five. And now we're going to
talk about the sorts of longer sentences
that can work. There are likely
sentences that can work that can be effective
if properly managed. A great way to avoid
run-ons and still try some more complicated
sentences loaded with great diction details and imagery is with
properly punctuated, cumulative and
periodic sentences. Both of which can
hold a lot of words without becoming
chaotic and overloaded, but still requires
the reader to really focus and follow a
reasonable train of thought. So first we have the
cumulative sentence, also known as a loose sentence. In the cumulative sentence or thought is seemingly complete, but then it is extended
with modifying clauses to elaborate on an idea. It is a complex sentence with
a series of clauses added after the complete plot in
order to expand or to refine. Here are two examples of
the cumulative sentence. He dipped his hands in by chloride solution and
shook them. A quick shake. Figures down like the fingers of a pianist above the keys. Here we have this complete
sentence right off the bat. It could end here
at the word them. But then it continues on
with these phrases that expand as well as
grow quite poetic. Here it says he had left her
buried there in the ground, the soil slowly settling, the grass poking up green, finally consuming the plot. And the gravestone,
growing modeled with moss moisture and the
remains of crawling insects. And once again, you
can see that by the time we get to
the word ground, we have a complete
sentence on its own. Then after that, a series
of phrases separated by commas to complete
and expand thought, not to complete, but
to expand the thought. This is an accumulating box. The next sentence structure
is called periodic. Or a periodic sentence
is a complete structure deliberately structured to place the main idea at the end, possibly even in a final word. This is used to emphasize, to shock or to build suspense. Let me show you
these two examples. In the red texts. Despite the blind and snow, the freezing temperatures and the heightened threat of
attack from polar bears. The team continued. Now you can see that the team continued is the main
point of the sentence. But it builds up from
one idea to the next. Helping you to wonder
what's going to happen. In this next example. It says, when I was
shopping in the town yesterday and I finished
lunch with Samuel, I ran into Mike. Running into Mike is the
whole point of this sentence, but it's leading
up to it so that the reader is waiting
to see what happened. These writers understand
where the commas, dashes and semi-colons go
to separate the clauses. Therefore, writers are more aware of their own digression. Bus. They maintain control of
the idea and its structure.
6. 06 Your Skillshare Project, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Welcome back. This is Video six of the
where the where writer. And now we're going to get into your Skillshare project and
the seven steps required. You can see here by this
list that you are going to observe wordy sentences
being revised two times. Then you're going to
practice three times at new sentences on your own. You'll be sharing those
practices with me. Finally, you will create a longer piece that you
believe to be your best, most concise, succinct writing. And finally, you'll share that potentially on the discussion
board for your peers. But at least for
me individually. Step one, observe,
and feel free to stop the video while you're
looking at this slide so that you can really take in
the word of the sentence. And then the improved
sentence going from 41 words, 223 words. You will observe again
another sentence that has 57 words and then
is revised into 30. Step three will require you to practice your first
round on your own. You're given your sentence here, and then you can write on
your own and submit it to me. Step four, you'll
practice again and hopefully improve
with less words and a clearer, more
concise writing. Step five, practice
one more time. Now we're at step
six where you will finally create your own writing. Approximately 200
words that follow a prompt and attempt specific
sentence structures. Here's the prompt. You were to describe a person
you either truly admire or bitterly dislike and
expand on their qualities. Appearance, mannerisms,
quotes, perceived values, and intolerable or
tolerable behaviors. Do not bother using real names. Attempt to use each of the four basic sentence
structures at least once. And also purposefully use at least one cumulative
sentence and one periodic sentence
within your description. Your cumulative and
periodic sentences can be one of the four
basic structures. Do your best to
be thorough using rich imagery and
abundant details, but avoid unnecessary wordiness. Finally, you're going to share your practices and
creation to me, the instructor, and use the optional pure view
on the discussion board. The idea is for your actual final creation to be your best
possible writing. And should we be
able to view it? We can tell you if it's
really the best it could be or has they could
be cut even further.
7. 07 Closing, Beware the Wordy Writer!: Welcome back. We did it. It's video seven or last in this series of be aware
of the wordy writer. Hopefully you can complete
your project and if you need any further instruction or
you find something confusing, please feel free to
reach out to me and I will help you as best I can. The corresponding practicing
creation located in a Skillshare documents
can be shared directly to me as well as
on the discussion board. Thank you for being here. I hope this was helpful. Please remember to look
me up on my website. I suck les.com or e-mail
me at this address. This is a work your word
creative writing course which I teach both on and
off of Skillshare. Any communication you
have will be appreciated. I would love to
hear if there are more classes you'd
like to learn about. And just remember this is
B where the word writer. Thank you. Bye bye.
Isa Glade
