Become a Confident Public Speaker: 3 Keys to Confident Communication | Ed Darling | Skillshare
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Devenez un conférencier public fiable : 3 clés pour une communication fiable

teacher avatar Ed Darling, Actor, Speaker & Creator

Watch this class and thousands more

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Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Watch this class and thousands more

Get unlimited access to every class
Taught by industry leaders & working professionals
Topics include illustration, design, photography, and more

Lessons in This Class

    • 1.

      1. Introduction à la classe

      2:47

    • 2.

      2. Erreurs de langage corporel communes

      9:28

    • 3.

      3. La psychologie du langage corporel

      7:17

    • 4.

      4. Défi de la parole 1

      2:36

    • 5.

      5. Variété vocale

      8:27

    • 6.

      6. Défi de parole 2

      2:32

    • 7.

      7. Changements d'esprit

      9:30

    • 8.

      8. Techniques de respiration

      6:33

    • 9.

      9. Défi d'expression 3

      5:53

    • 10.

      10. Prises et sommaire clés

      5:09

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Le niveau est déterminé par l'opinion majoritaire des apprenants qui ont évalué ce cours. La recommandation de l'enseignant est affichée jusqu'à ce qu'au moins 5 réponses d'apprenants soient collectées.

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About This Class

Prêt à regarder, à sonore et à se sentir plus confiant lorsque vous parlez en public ?

Dans ce cours hautement pratique et dirigé par des experts, vous apprendrez à développer votre 'Body, Voice & Mind' pour surmonter les craintes de parole en public et commencer à communiquer avec plus de confiance, de crédibilité et de charisme.

Votre professeur :

Ed Darling est un haut-parleur, un acteur et un entraîneur de communication professionnels. Après avoir surmonté sa propre grave anxiété sociétaire, il a continué à se produire dans des salles à travers le monde, à prononcer des discours clés et à aider des centaines d'autres personnes à surmonter leurs craintes et à communiquer en toute confiance.

Il est cofondateur et coach en chef de Project Charisma Charisma


Ce que vous apprendrez :

J'ai distillé 10 ans d'expérience en tant que haut-parleur, acteur et coach de communication professionnel, dans les conseils et les idées clés dont vous avez besoin pour commencer à parler en toute confiance, notamment :

  • Regardez et sentez-vous plus en confiance en utilisant des conseils en langage corporel expert pour éviter les erreurs courantes

  • Apprenez la psychologie fascinante derrière la communication non verbale et notre évolution « prédateur / proie ».
  • Comment sonner plus crédible en projettant votre voix et en articulant vos mots en utilisant des techniques vocales rapides et simples.
  • Comment éliminer les mots de charge et utiliser des pauses efficaces pour communiquer avec un véritable charisme.
  • Comprenez la science derrière les nerfs oraux en public et comment utiliser (correctement) des techniques de respiration pour combattre vos nerfs.
  • Mes trois meilleurs « changements d'état d'esprit » pour redéfinir complètement la façon dont vous pensez à la parole en public et changer votre façon de vous sentir en parlant.
  • Enfin... Participez à 3 'Défis de la parole ' que je vous guiderai à travers et en live pendant le cours !

Pourquoi suivre ce cours :

Que vous ayez besoin de présenter des présentations au travail, de parler en réunions ou de vous sentir simplement plus calme et à l'aise lors de la communication - la parole en public est une compétence incroyablement puissante et utile.

Et comme toute autre compétence, plus vous pratiquez ... mieux vous obtenez !

C'est pourquoi j'ai conçu ce cours pour inclure des activités et des défis pratiques. Vous apprendrez non seulement des conseils et des conseils d'experts sur la communication, mais vous les you'll en profondeur en les mettant en pratique.

Vous serez en mesure d'utiliser les compétences que vous acquérez dans ce cours pour regarder, sonore et vous sentir plus confiant chaque fois que vous êtes confronté à une discussion en public ou à des communications avec d'autres.

À qui s'adresse ce cours ?

Bref, tout le monde ! Ce cours couvre des techniques de parole publique débutantes, intermédiaires et

advanced vous êtes complètement nouveau dans le domaine de la parole en public, ce cours vous donnera une longueur d'avance et une introduction incroyables dans les éléments essentiels de la parole en public et vous ouvrira de nombreux nouveaux domaines à explorer. Si vous êtes déjà un conférencier expérimenté, vous apprendrez de nouveaux niveaux de détail et de connaissances sur des sujets précédemment abordés, et vous développerez vos compétences

De quoi aurez-vous besoin ?

Pour le dernier défi de la parole je vous inviterai à vous enregistrer en vous prononçant un discours de 3 minutes sur un thème décrit. Cela peut se faire n'importe où, et il n'est pas nécessaire d'être livré en dessous de quiconque. Mais vous aurez besoin d'un téléphone, d'une webcam ou d'une caméra pour enregistrer votre discours et le télécharger dans l'onglet 'Projets et discussions' pour des commentaires personnalisés.

Prêt à commencer ?

Let's avec la première leçon !

Rencontrez votre enseignant·e

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Ed Darling

Actor, Speaker & Creator

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Level: All Levels

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Transcripts

1. 1. Class Introduction: Hello and welcome to this short course on public speaking and confident communication. My name is Ed. I'm an actor, a speaker, and a communication coach, and I'm the co-founder of Project Charisma. We help all kinds of people from professionals to business leaders to academics to overcome their fears and communicate with more confidence, more credibility, and of course, with more charisma. In the past five years, I've helped hundreds of different people to overcome anxieties, get over with phobias and start expressing themselves in a way that is authentic and confident. I've also been on my own journey from having severe social anxiety around 10 years ago to becoming a professional actor and a speaker and speaking in front of many different audiences, performing around the world. Then ultimately being able to help other people overcome the same fears and challenges that I once faced. The first thing to say is, wherever you are on that spectrum from being anxious to being confident, I understand you. I've been there and I know that you can take a huge step forward in terms of both your confidence as a speaker, but also your competence, which is equally important. In this course, what I really want to do is distill all of that experience that I've gained in the past five years as both an actor, a speaker, and a coach, into some of the most important lessons that I think can help anyone go from zero to hero in terms of their communication and their public speaking. Really that boils down to three things, which is the body, the voice, and the mind. Whenever I'm running training in person or I'm coaching people, it's these three things that I focus the most attention on. Body, voice, mind. In this course, I'm going to be breaking each of these areas down into more detail. I'm going to be setting you some practical activities. By going through this course, you are going to come away with a really solid understanding of modern effective public speaking techniques that you can immediately put into action and start implementing in your own life. Whether you need to deliver presentations at work, whether you've got a best man speech coming up, whether you're taking on a management position and you need to lead other people, or whether simply you want to be able to express yourself with more confidence and whilst feeling more calm and in control. But without any further ado, let's jump right in and get started with the first-class, which is on body language. When you're ready, I'll see you in the next video [MUSIC]. 2. 2. Common Body Language Mistakes: [MUSIC] They say it takes seven seconds to make a first impression. If you walk into a room to deliver a presentation, or you're going in for an interview, or whatever the scenario, often before you've even said your first word, people have started making judgments and assessments about you based on your nonverbal communication; ie, everything that you're not actually saying. The way you walk, the way you hold yourself, the way you're looking as you're walking in, all of these things are immediately giving off messages and telling the audience what to think about you. Are you confident? Are you excited? Are you happy to be there? Are you nervous? Are you someone I want to work with, or are you someone perhaps I'd rather not? All of these things are happening in the minds of your audience subconsciously before you've opened your mouth, which is why body language is so important and why it's the first thing that we start with. [MUSIC] What are some common mistakes that people make? Let's start from the bottom and let's move right the way up. Now, you can't see my feet on this camera, but so often people who are nervous will either crossover their feet or they'll stand in a way that's off-balanced. This is the first thing that we need to correct for. What I'd like you to do is stand up with me, find some space in your room, tilt your screen so you can see me okay, and follow along with how I'm doing this. The first thing we want to do is plant our feet hip-width apart, you could say, and make a nice firm basis. Think of a tree. It's planted deep, its roots are going into the earth, and even when it's windy, that tree can sway, but it's firmly planted in the ground. That's what we want to be as a speaker. We don't want to be stiff, but we want to be firmly planted on both feet. The next thing that we're going to get to is our overall posture. Another big mistake people make is either leaning to one side, being off-balance, maybe leaning forward, slouching around. All of that is going to give off the wrong impression. What we want to do is make sure we have a nice straight posture, shoulders back straight, and we're standing up to reach our full height. Not only does this give across a more confident impression to our audience, but it actually allows us to breathe more properly, which we'll get to later, and it allows us to open up and feel more confident in the space. Which brings us to our hands, the next thing, what people do with these. Well, if you're not feeling very confident or you're not used to speaking a lot of the time, what we want to do is fold them, put them in our pockets, put them behind our back, comfort ourselves by moving our hands like this, or perhaps even hold onto something as a bit of a prop, which is almost a defensive barrier between you and the audience. What we want to do really [NOISE] is use our hands as much as possible. Remember that public speaking is visual as well as auditory. Our audience wants to see us as well as hear us, and this is where our hands come in. Now, gestures are something that we could do an entire course on. But a very simple trick is to simply hold your hands at a 90-degree right angle like this, with your palms out. Then forget about them as much as possible. Focus on what you're saying and let your subconscious mind naturally start to gesture with your hands as you are speaking. The only thing you need to do is resist the urge to hide them or put them away. Make sure you are always using them. Now, another quick point on hands is palms. This is very interesting. Psychologically, we interpret open palms as a sign of trust, and we interpret close or hidden palms as a sign of distrust. Now the idea behind this is that thousands and thousands of years ago in our evolutionary past if you were to meet someone for the first time, by seeing their palms, you would know that they are not hiding any weapons or not concealing anything of danger, and so therefore you could trust them more. But today, this still plays a part. It's still going on very subconsciously. You see politicians a lot of the time try to open their palms when they're trying to show you that they're being honest, and also sometimes when they forget about this, they start hiding their palms. Tony Blair, the British Prime Minister was famous for doing a lot of gestures like this where he was subconsciously hiding the real truth behind what he was saying. Anyway, in short, what this means is open palms is a very positive sign for your audience. Moving further up now, shoulders, a lot of times what we do is we tense our shoulders up when we're feeling nervous. This whole area here is prime for being tense and tight. Want to relax the shoulders down, loosen them up, and also free the elbows. Because a lot of people I see they'll start to gesture with their hands, but their elbows will be stuck to the sides of the body. It's like what we call the T.rex arms like this. What you want to do is free up your entire arms and allow yourself to really open up and use your whole body to gesture and express yourself. Moving further up. Now, let's get to the face. This is where our expressions come into play. Facial expressions are a huge part of your overall body language because they are telling the audience how to think and how to feel about what you're saying. It's really important to smile when you're starting to have your eyes wide and really be open and engaging when you're beginning your speech and letting the audience know that you are happy to be there and that you're happy to be talking to them. Smiling is such a great trick because not only does it make you start to feel better yourself, but it actually allows the audience to start feeling more calm as well. This is all down to something we call mirror neurons, which are part of our brain makeup which allow us to mimic what we see in others. When we see pain or anxiety or nervousness, our mirror neurons allow us to understand this in other people and it makes us feel a little bit of that in ourselves. This is why we have empathy with other people; this is the whole basis for empathy. But it also works in a positive way as well. When we see people enjoying themselves, smiling, having fun, our mirror neurons also reflect that in those as well. Now, most of the time, you're going to want your audience to be feeling engaged, excited, happy, and so the more of that you can show in your face, the more of that they too are going to feel. Now, final thing about body language is the eyes. This takes a bit of specific looking up because it's such an important thing. Nervous speakers often don't want to hold eye contact with their audience. They'd rather look down, look away. Even sometimes people are told to look above the audience, which is honestly terrible advice. Never listen to that if someone tells you. What you want to be doing is always looking right into the eyes of your audience. There's two reasons for this. Firstly, it makes you feel more confident to hold eye contact. Always do the thing you're afraid of. Always move forward towards the fear rather than away. If holding eye contact is something that makes you feel uncomfortable by consciously purposefully doing it, it will give you a sense of your power back, because you are voluntarily facing the thing that you are afraid of. But the second benefit of eye contact is that it allows you to understand where your audiences are. Are they paying attention? Are they understanding? Are they enjoying it? This is all information that you want to be getting from your audience all the time. In order to do that, you need to be looking at them in the eye. It really helps that two-way connection from the speaker to the audience to work together and to gel. Now, if you are worried about eye contact and if it's something that you are maybe a little bit uncomfortable with, here's another quick tip. We call this light housing. All you do is move slowly from left to right, a little bit like a lighthouse moves its light from left to right. If you have an audience that's fairly wide, this will easily allow you to remember to share your eye contact equally around the room. Because what you don't want to do is give all your attention to these people because maybe you feel more comfortable with them and ignore the other side of the room. Use that light housing technique to help you to do this in the moment when you're trying to remember everything else at the same time. [MUSIC] 3. 3. The Psychology of Body Language: That's some of the common areas of body language that it's really important to understand and be aware of. If you get most of these things right, then you will be pretty much on the right track. But there's a bit of a deeper understanding of body language that I'd like to go into with you. In order to do that, I'm going to bring up two different animals a squirrel and a lion. I want you to think about the difference in body language of these two animals. Let's look at the squirrel first. You might describe it as flighty, very hesitant, quite small. On edge, the squirrel is giving across the body language of an animal, which is, maybe you would interpret that as nervous or flighty or anxious. The lion, on the other hand, is very different. The lion is calm. It's taking up space. It's looking around its surroundings very confidently. It's taking in all of its surroundings and its movements, unlike the squirrel, are slow, purposeful, strong. Now, the main difference between these two animals, of course, is that one of them is a prey animal, and the other one is an apex predator. The squirrel spends its whole life on the run. Everything's trying to kill it or eat it. It has to be constantly aware of what's going on around it of any potential threats. Its body language reflects this. It's making itself small so it's not too easily visible. It's constantly ready to jump away at the moment that it feels threatened and it's very quick, it's very hesitant, and it's very on edge. The lion doesn't have the same need to be so evasive. It's a primary predator. Not really anything is worrying it apart from maybe humans more recently, but historically the lion is the apex predator. It's not looking for dangers, it's looking for opportunities. It's surveying its landscape, looking for potential things that it can hunt itself. Its body language reflects this as well. It's taking up space, it's not trying to be small, it's looking around confidently, and when it moves, it moves slowly. It doesn't need to expend too much energy or to run away or to be too fast. It's calm, it's collected. Now, as humans, we have evolutionary, again, being both prey and predator at various times and in various different scenarios. We have both of these pathways and those, both of these body language pathways of the prey animal and the predator animal. Now, when we get up to speak in public, a lot of the time, if we feel nervous and threatened, it triggers that more squirrel-like body language to happen. We want to make ourselves small. We're ready to dart out of the room and we are generally on edge and we are very much in a heightened state of awareness. Whereas what we really need to do is bring in more of that lion type that predator calm, control, and being in charge of the situation. How do we do this? Well, really the best trick is you have to be aware of what your body is doing at any one moment, and you have to be able to consciously choose to do one thing rather than the other. Every time you speak and you start feeling nervous, there's a reaction happening that's telling you to close in, to look down, to go small, and to defend yourself. What you need to do is catch that moment happening and break the pattern as it occurs. As soon as you feel the urge to close in, what you need to do is instead open up wide, make yourself bigger, step forwards towards the perceived threats, and breathe deeply and embody more of that lion's hype spirit. What's going to happen when you do this is you are breaking that pattern of going into the negative side of body language and building a new pathway to open up and feel more confident. When you do this, two things happen. Not only do you start to look more confident to your audience, but you're actually sending a signal back to your brain, which is saying, actually, wait a minute, I'm not in threat here. I don't have to hide or run away. I am actually safe and I am in control. Body language is a two-way communication. How we feel mentally and emotionally is influencing our body language. But how we hold ourselves is also sending the signal back to our brain to tell us how we should be feeling. This is why I call the mind-body connection and it's such an important aspect of body language that so many people miss from the equation. We think that body language is all just about how others perceive us. When actually far more important is how body language makes us perceive ourselves. There's quite a lot to take in. Let's do a quick recap. Body language is how we portray ourselves to an audience. It's our nonverbal communication. It's everything that we're saying without actually saying it. It starts from our feet and it goes rightly up to the tops of our head, but the most important things being our gestures, our overall posture, and our eye content. In terms of our psychology, we have two modes of body language. We have more of a prey animal body language, which makes us want to go too small, and a predator body language, which makes us want to open up. Whenever we're speaking in public and we start to feel nervous, we need to catch that reaction that wants us to hide away and instead flip it around to go big. When we do this, we will also start to feel more confident on the inside as well. Put this into practice right now. I want you to stand up, put your shoulders back, put your hands on your hips, and just own the room for a moment and just feel your presence in the room, and get used to feeling this way. So many people, it feels awkward for them, even to do this. They're so used to holding themselves in a submissive way. That it takes a little bit of practice just to get used to embodying this level of confidence. Get used to it. Feel yourself as the lion, if that helps, or just as a very competent version of you. What I'd like you to do now is complete a short challenge. In a moment, there's going to be a question come up on the screen. While you stood here in this new confident position. I'd like you to spend two minutes answering this question as if it was a mini improvise speech. Now, you don't have to do this in front of anybody else. You don't have to do this on camera. That's just a private exercise for you to do, to feel how it's different speaking when you're adopting this positive body language. You're going to have up to two minutes to answer this question. Do it any which way you like. It's not really so much about what you say, it's how you say it and it's getting comfortable talking while standing in a confident position. Once you've done that challenge, I'll see you in the next video. [MUSIC] 5. 5. Vocal Variety: Welcome back. How did that first challenge go? You might have found it surprisingly difficult, or maybe you found it surprisingly easy. Regardless of how it went, well done for taking action. Again, let me just stress, the more you practice these things, the more you stand up and practice speaking, whether it's in your bedroom or in front of people, doesn't really matter, it's all about getting in those reps. If you want to get good at piano, you have to play more. If you want to get good at public speaking, you have to practice speaking. Well done on taking that first step, there will be more challenges to come. But now we're going to turn our attention from the body to the voice. This is the next most important thing, I believe when it comes to public speaking. In those first seven seconds, people have been judging your body language and hopefully, they've got a good first impression because you've walked in holding yourself high, smiling, feeling confident. The very next thing that happens is that people hear you. This is our next chance as speakers to either keep building that credibility up or if we're not careful, to lose our credibility. What are some common things that happen with our voice? Well, very simply, usually people either speak a little bit too quietly and then people can hear them, or potentially they speak a bit too fast and they're trying to just get through everything as quick as possible. Or perhaps they speak too monotone and they don't have any variation in their voice, and they start sounding a little bit like a robot. All of these things are very common traps that people fall into when it comes to the voice. Now, the most important of all of these to address first is the volume or the projection. Because if you are doing everything else right, if you've got fantastic content, fantastic body language, but people can't actually hear you, then everything else doesn't matter, right? People need to hear you. This is the first and most important job of the voice. Now, depending on the situation that you're speaking in, you might be speaking to a room full of people or an entire audience. You might have a microphone or you might be relying on your own projection. But whatever it is, you need to be able to use the full power of your voice. There's a very simple way of doing this, and it all comes down to this thing here, which is your diaphragm. The diaphragm is a muscle that goes all around your midsection here. The diaphragm contracts in order to push air up through our vocal cords and to make sound. This is how we make sound to speak. If you're a singer or an actor, or anyone else that is in the world of performance, you get trained how to properly use the diaphragm. Very simply, the diaphragm works best when it is relaxed. When we get tense, we start to tighten up everything. We tie up the shoulders, the face, all of our muscles become tight and tense. What that does is it contracts the diaphragm and it makes us start breathing here into the chest rather than down here into our stomach. Then we're trying to make all of our sound from here in the chest, and we only have this smaller space to throw out our voice. Our voice becomes tight and it's harder to project. It also puts a lot of strain here on our vocal cords. The very simple idea is that the more we can release this tension, the more relaxed we can get all of our body, the more naturally we will project using our diaphragm. That brings us to a vocal warm-up. If you can once again, please stand up for me, find some space, plant your feet like we did before. We're going to go through a simple vocal warm-up, which is going to make us nice and relaxed, and ready to speak. Okay, so let's begin by please putting your hands on your midsection here. So you've got this area around your hips and just spread your fingers out over your belly and just start taking a few deep breaths for me, and just relax and calm down. Take a few moments. You don't have to breathe in any particular way, just however feels natural to you. What you should start to feel is your stomach expanding as you breathe. You can feel your fingertips being pushed out every time you breathe in. This is what we want. We want to feel the breath expanding the stomach and the diaphragm. If you can't feel this, it generally means you're breathing into your chest [NOISE] up here, which is a nervous, anxious breath. It's the breath of the fight-flight-freeze response rather than the breath of calmness. Keep breathing for me. Hopefully, the more you do this, the more you calm down, the more you will feel that stomach expand. This is allowing us to really anchor the breath deep down here where we want it to be. Let's move up again now, let's come back to the shoulders where we hold a lot of that tension and just start to move these shoulders backwards for me like this, in a circular motion. You can go forwards as well. Really feel into what feels good for you, okay? Try to really get rid of any tension you can feel. Then you might want to move your head from side to side like this and maybe go in some circles. All of this is just releasing that tension bit by bit. Good. Now you can take two fingers here for me or just your fingertips and place them between your cheek and jaw bone where the tendons attach your face and just start giving yourself a nice little massage. Here is where we store a lot of tension in the face. The more we can really work this out, the more relaxed the face is going to be. There's over 100 muscles in the face and neck which control human speech, and all of them, like any muscle, need to be warmed up before they are used. Once you've given yourself a nice little facial massage, repeat after me, we're going to go small, and then we're going to go big. Go with me, go small, tight like you're sucking a lemon. Then go back like a big surprise. Then small and then big again. Great. Now we're going to do some lip trills so repeat after me [NOISE] and you and one more [NOISE]. Good. Okay. Now using your tongue, I want you to just feel around your teeth like this, [NOISE] exploring your teeth. Finally, I want you to take a big, [NOISE] yawn [NOISE] usually when you fake it, it actually happens. Yawns are great because they really stretch out all of your vocal cords and loosen everything up. Then just shake everything out for me a little bit more. Hopefully now you're feeling a little bit more relaxed. This is the real key to utilizing your voice as best as it can be. When you relax the diaphragm, you start speaking and breathing from down here and having all of that area to project your voice. When you relax the face, you start to articulate your words more clearly. You start to be able to use more tonality, more inflections so you don't sound monotone or robotic, you sound human and conversational, and generally, everything is improved by being more relaxed and more loose. Of course, what usually happens with most people is before they have to deliver a presentation or a speech, they're sat down, bottling up all of that nervous tension. Then when they get up to speak, then they're the opposite of loose, they're incredibly tense. Always try to find even just a few minutes to go through some of this before you have to speak. It makes such a big difference. [MUSIC] 7. 7. Mindset Shifts: Welcome back. I hope that second challenge went really well. You might have realized that you are done 20 different ohms in two minutes, which is often the case, or maybe you are able to really get a hang of it and start using more pauses. However it went, again the important thing is that you tried and you're practicing this. The more you do so, the more awareness you will build up how you're speaking and what words you're using, and the better you will get using those powerful pulses. [MUSIC] In this lesson, I want to move on to the third important thing that we're going to look at today, from the body to their voice, to the mindset. Mindset is so important to public speakers because it's such a scary thing for so many people. Of course, it's not hard to see why. Standing up in front of a room of people and having all of these eyes look back at you is a very unnatural situation for most of us to be in. We're not used to it. What happens is it triggers in us this fear response. Somewhere in our subconscious, something perceives a threat and it triggers the fight-flight-freeze response for us to either fight off the threats, flight from the situation by running away, or simply to freeze and play dead so that we don't get eaten. None of which is particularly helpful while you're delivering a work presentation, unfortunately. How can we get over that fight-flight or freeze response and how can we change our mindset to start feeling more confident? Most people, I think when public speaking, are really worried about how it's going to go, whether the people are going to like them, whether they're going to think that they are confident or assertive, or whether they think they sound like they know what they're talking about. All of these things are running around in our heads, and ultimately the problem is that we're focused on ourselves. Me, me, me, am I going to be okay? Am I going to sound confident? Are they going to like me? When you're public speaking, you need to take the attention off of yourself and put it onto your audience. You need to stop feeling so self-conscious about how you're coming across because the more you focus on you, the more self-conscious you'll become, and start becoming more conscious of who you're speaking to. There's a few little mindset switches that can really help us with this. I'm going to take you through three of these. The first one that I use is practice over perfection. Nervous speakers feel often they need to be perfect and that if they make any little mistakes, then everyone's going to think that they are terrible or they're going to laugh at them, or they're going to talk about them afterwards and so they have this subconscious needs to be perfect. Then if they drop a pen or they forget a slide, or they lose where they are, suddenly catastrophe. What we need to do is really get rid of all of that pressure that we're putting on ourselves. You are never going to be perfect and no one ever is so stop trying to be perfect and instead see every opportunity to speak as an opportunity to practice. Think about the most confident speakers you know, they're not worried about making small mistakes or losing their train of thought for a moment. They couldn't care less, why? Because they're not trying to be perfect. They're comfortable in themselves, they're confident in their own skin, and they know that they do not need to be perfect. This is the first thing that you need to work on; stop trying to be perfect and instead, focus on the practice. Focus on getting that little bit better every single time. Second mindset shift, enthusiasm beats confidence. Most people put confidence on a bit of a pedestal, we want to look confident, we want to sound confident, we want to feel confident, and going back to that perfection thing, we feel like we need to have this perfect aura of confidence in order to be respected by other people when we are speaking. The trouble with confidence is that it's very flighty. It doesn't matter how much you push yourself up or talk yourself up for it, the moment when you stand in front of that audience and you start to speak, your confidence can vanish like that. It's happened to me, it's happened to many other people, and it can happen to any of us. Now if we've put all of our efforts and all of our focus on trying to be confident and then our confidence abandons us what then do we have left to stand on? We're left helpless. Confidence isn't a good thing to put your foundation on. Yes, you want to work on your confidence externally, you want to try to feel more confident, you want to do all of these things. This course is about trying to make you feel more competent but in the moment when it comes to the actual act of speaking, you need to take the whole idea of confidence and just forget about it. Don't try to be confident, don't even worry about it. Instead, focus on being enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is a far better thing to focus on because a, we can always choose to be enthusiastic even when we're nervous, even when branches, we can choose to find that enthusiasm and focus on expressing that to our audience. Secondly, enthusiasm, as they say, is infectious. The more we have, the more the audience is going to feel. If you're trying to influence, educate, inform, whatever it is that you're trying to do to your audience and give them, the more enthusiasm you have for that subject, the more enthusiasm they're going to feel and start to get from you as well. This is a great little switch around, whatever you have to speak forget about being confident. Don't worry if you have a bit of nervousness, that's very natural we all do. If you can speak with enthusiasm, people will totally forgive you for having some nerves, and it stops you from having this whole idea of needing to be a certain way. Practice over perfection, enthusiasm beats confidence, and the third little snippet that I like to use is it's about your audience, not you. Again, before I was saying about the internal monologue that most people have is me, me, me, me, me rather than who am I talking to. What am I trying to give them rather than get from them? You see if you go up to speak in public and you're focused on what you want to get from the audience. I want to get the praise, I want to get their acceptance, I want to get their approval, it puts you in a less powerful position because you're trying to get something from them and that's going to make you feel more nervous. What you want to do instead is focused on what you're giving to the audience. What are you there to do for them? Do you want to inspire them? Do you want to educate them? Do you want to inform them? Do you want to give them some feeling that they want to take away with? Whatever it is, focus on that. Remember, you are not the most important part of the equation. When you're speaking in public, it feels like you're the special person because everyone's looking at you and you're the one in the spotlight but really it's not. I always think to myself that whenever I'm delivering a speech, I could be picked up, popped aside, and replaced with any other speaker, and really, it wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things. By thinking that it takes my ego out of the equation and it puts me in this mindset of I'm there to serve not to get anything from them. The great thing about this mindset, if you can really feel it and you can really embody it is that it totally transforms the way that you think and feel about public speaking and it totally takes away a massive amount of that nervous energy that otherwise can grab us and derailers when we are speaking in public. These three things really worked for me. These three little affirmations, practice over perfection, enthusiasm over confidence, and it's about them, not you. But maybe you've got a different way of wording this. Maybe you can come up with your own affirmation, your own little quick one-liner, which gets right to the heart of the mindset that you want to have as a speaker, a mindset of service over getting, a mindset of enthusiasm over confidence. Whatever works for you, whether you want to steal mine or come up with your own, choose something that really strikes a chord with you that resonates with you and repeat it and affirm it, and tell it to yourself when you need it most. Honestly, this will help you more than anything else. That was a quick insight into mindset. The more you can go into this and develop it, the more powerful you will become as a public speaker. We're going to finish up with one final challenge for you but before that, I want to throw in an extra lesson on breathing because it's a part of public speaking which is really, I think, underappreciated and often confused. Let's jump into breathing. I want to show you an exercise. I want to show you why it's so important, and then we're going to wrap everything up with a final challenge for you. I'll see you in the next lesson. [MUSIC] 8. 8. Breathing Techniques: There's been many times when I've been backstage before a big performance or waiting to deliver a speech, and I've started to feel those nerves creep up on me. I said before, I used to suffer with really extreme social anxiety. Without going into too much detail, it got so bad at one point that even answering a phone call or having to buy a train ticket would cause me to start having an overwhelming anxiety attack. Even when I became more of an experienced speaker and an actor, I would still feel those nerves start to creep in and take over before I had to perform. So many times, it's been breathing, which has really been key to helping me handle those nerves and deal with them. Now I think a lot of people assume that breathing techniques are supposed to immediately, miraculously just get rid of all your nerves. They're feeling this tension and this anxiety and people think, I'm supposed to breathe for a few minutes, and then hey presto, it's all gone. When they do that, and then they still feel nervous, they think the breathing isn't working for me. It doesn't work. Then they entirely forget about breathing, and they don't even bother with it. What I found is that breathing techniques work in the background. It's a more subtle effect. You might still feel some of that nervous energy and some of those butterflies in the belly, they don't completely go away. But at a deeper level, by doing a breathing technique, you have anchored yourself further down into your own presence and your own awareness. That enables you to move forward despite the nerves, despite the anxiety, and still deliver your best performance. Now the reason why breathing is so powerful is that it taps into something called the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is part of our physical makeup, which controls all of the aspects of our body which are unconscious. Our heart rates, our perspiration, our breathing, our digestion. All of these things that happen without us consciously making them happen. But the breath is the one thing which sits on the crossroads between conscious control and unconscious control. Because it's actually both. The breath can be consciously controlled. We can choose to breathe in and breathe out. But if we forget all about it, the body will automatically keep breathing for us. That's why we breathe while we're asleep. The breath allows us to tap in at a very deep level to our physical body and it allows us to bring ourselves back down. We have the fight, flight, freeze response, but we also have the rest and digest response. These two systems are always working in tandem, balancing each other out. They're also called the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. But it's easier to call them the fight, flight, freeze, and the rest and digest. Now when we start to feel nervous and anxious and uncomfortable, the fight, flight, freeze response increases. It makes our heart rate speed up. It makes our breathing go shallow, and it makes us want to run away from the situation like we said before. When we breathe slowly, it brings the rest and digest system back into control. This calms down our entire nervous system. This is why the breath is so powerful because it allows us to tap in to all of these things which otherwise are completely outside of our control. Think about it, when you're getting nervous, there's nothing you feel that you can do about your heart rate or the fact that you're sweating. But by using the breath, we can start to influence all of these other symptoms that happen. Without going too detailed into all of that, how do we start to use our breath? Well, there are many, many different techniques. The one that I like is called the four times four technique. This is used by the US military. It's trained to soldiers in order to help them stay calm in battlefield scenarios. I don't care how many people you're speaking to. No public speech is as scary as it would be. I'm assuming to be in a battle. Sitting comfortably, make sure you're relaxing your body. You can close your eyes if you need to. Just follow along with me as we breathe in for four and breathe out for four. Breathe in for 1, 2, 3, 4, and breathe out for 1, 2, 3, 4. One more time breathing in for 1, 2, 3, 4, and breathing out for 1, 2, 3, 4. Now, with breathing techniques, there is no right or wrong. There are many different variations of this. Really the only thing that matters is that your awareness is on your breath and that you are breathing consciously. Slowing everything down and breathing here into the diaphragm. By doing this for even just a few minutes, you trigger that rest and digest system to kick back into gear, which down-regulates the fight, flight, freeze response and has this overall effect on all of these other autonomic reactions from our heart rates to our digestion, to our hormone release, whether that's adrenaline being pumped out or not or cortisol. Generally bringing all of our system back down to a feeling of calm, controlled confidence. This is the power of breathing, but don't expect it to be a miraculous switch. It's all happening in the background, but know that it is happening, and then it will help you to get through that speech and deliver your best. Okay, so let's take a big deep breath. We've covered a lot today, haven't? We might have to go back and watch this all over again. Hopefully, it wasn't too much, too quickly, but for now, we've covered body, voice, mind, a little bit of breathing. Let's now wrap up with one final challenge that I want to set to you, which I'll do in the next video [MUSIC] 9. 9. Speech Challenge 3: So well done on getting this far. Hopefully now you've got a great understanding of body language, why it's so important, the voice, how to project yourself, how to get rid of that tension in order to sound more confident and use less filler words. The mindset that we need in order to be bringing our best to public speaking situations. Where we're thinking about what we can give rather than what we can get. Some little tips and tricks on breathing and how to calm down our physical systems in order to stay in control and deliver our best. I want you now to bring all this together into a final performance. This time, I'm going to set you another question and give you another improvised speech topic. What I'd really like you to do is record yourself delivering this back. You can do this very simply by putting your phone on a shelf or getting your webcam out, but the act of recording gives you that little bit of extra challenge when it comes to delivering this speech. It means that you can't just stop and start again. You have to keep going and you have to keep speaking until the very end. Again, with all public speaking, we need to keep incrementally building this challenge. If I took someone who was incredibly nervous and threw them on stage of 100 people, they'd probably do a terrible job and it would set them back even further. But if I take that same person and I make them speak in front of one person, then three people, then 10 people, and then 100 people, they're going to be far more likely to succeed and do a great job, and to keep building that genuine self confidence that comes from pushing their comfort zone. This is what I'm trying to do in a very small way in this course by getting lots of little bits of practice which slowly build up the challenge level. So three minutes, stood up, recording yourself. Try to utilize everything we've spoke about today and really again, don't worry too much about what you're saying. Just focus on how you are saying it. Once you're done, I will see you in the final lesson for a summary of everything we've covered and some key takeaways that I would like you to remember. So give this a good shot. Enjoy it. I'll see you in the next lesson. [MUSIC] 10. 10. Key Take-Aways & Summary: The things that we need to learn before we can do them. We learn by doing them and my ethos as a public speaking coach and in all the work that I do with Project Charisma is learned by doing. Public speaking is something you have to practice in order to improve. Whether you are watching an online course like this or you're attending one of our in person workshops or getting one to one coaching. It's all about getting that experience and putting these things into practice. Well done on taking even more practice. I hope that last challenge went even better for you than the previous ones. But if it didn't, it doesn't matter. It's not about how it went. It's about the fact that you did it. The more you keep doing this, the more you keep practicing, the better you will get. I believe honestly, after coaching hundreds of people and after being an incredibly anxious speaker myself that absolutely anyone can learn to be a competent public speaker. It just needs the right training and the right amount of practice. Thank you for joining me here today. I hope that you've got a lot of this short concise class on communication skills. Let me just leave you with some key takeaways. [MUSIC] We began with the body. Remember that the first seven seconds of any speech is the most crucial. This is when people make their first impression of you and it sets the tone for the rest of the speech. Also remember that body language is a two way street. It's not just about what you're expressing to the audience, it's about the messages and the signals that you're sending back to your own brain about how you feel, about how you're thinking and about how confident you are feeling within that space. Always remember to stand up tall, to open wide and body the lion, if you need to, and to smile and to give good eye contact to your audience. When it comes to the voice, remember that the most important thing is that they can hear you if you are mumbling or you're speaking too quietly, or you're going too quickly, you will make your audience switch off and stop listening. Remember, always relax, try to get rid of any tension that you have and that will allow you to project your voice, to articulate your words, and to engage your audience using the full power of this instrument that you have here called your vocal chords. Also remember that pauses are one of the most powerful tools that you have in your arsenal as a public speaker. Another perfect thing to switch in in place of those filler words, which can be a real credibility killer. In terms of mindset, remember those three key mindset switches that I gave you. Practice over perfection, it's not about being perfect, it's about practicing being the best version of you. Enthusiasm beats confidence, don't try to be confident in the moment, focus instead on finding and giving your enthusiasm. Finally, it's about them not you. Remember as a speaker, you are there to give something to your audience, not to get anything from them. Finally, breathing is such an important aspect of your preparation as a speaker. If you do feel nervous, if you do feel anxious, which is so common and so to be expected for anyone, even me, even experienced speakers, then breathing is one of the best things that you can do. Whether you're sat in the audience in a meeting room or backstage waiting to go on. It only takes a couple of minutes of conscious breath to bring down all of that stress in your system and give you that anchored confidence that we'll see you through even when you are feeling a little bit nervous. [MUSIC] Thank you for watching. I really hope that you've enjoyed this course, please let me know down in the comments if you have, if you'd like to share your final video with me, please by all means you can go into the Projects and Discussions tab, share your video there, and I'd be happy to give you some individual feedback on how you have done well and where you can potentially keep improving. If you'd like to find out more about me and my work with project charisma, you can find my website at www.projectcharisma.com. You can find us on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook/ @project charisma. Follow me on Skillshare as well as I will be releasing more videos on different elements of communication or public speaking, and on a new course that dives into the other side of things, which is more about the content and how to actually write and produce engaging pitches, presentations, speeches, etc. Thank you again, keeps speaking, I'll speak to you soon. [MUSIC]